Communication is the act of conveying intentions to others and being perceived by others. This kind of behavior can be verbal or nonverbal, as long as it conveys the meaning, it is communication. From this perspective, there is seldom no communication between husband and wife, and the usual question is whether the communication is good or not. Poor communication is just a manifestation of poor communication. For example, in some cases, the wife angrily accused her husband of always coming home late. At this time, it should be said that communication is smooth, and the husband knows his wife's dissatisfaction and reasons. However, the husband may not accept this kind of communication, and he may still come home late, which may aggravate the contradiction between them. Then this kind of communication is bad. The communication between husband and wife can be positive and constructive, but it can also be negative and destructive. We should try our best to turn bad communication into good communication to help solve other problems in marriage, so it is very important to promote the development of husband-wife relationship in a good and healthy direction.
So, under what circumstances do couples communicate badly? Nothing more than whether communication is verbal or nonverbal; How to express your views and opinions; What was the emotional state at that time; When and where to communicate often. Here are some good ways to communicate:
1. Communicate clearly and concretely, and don't let the other party guess or be at a loss.
The common saying between husband and wife is "Do you need me to tell you", which means that as husband and wife, it seems that they should have foresight first. But the fact is not as expected. Therefore, what a husband and wife can do is, if the wife thinks that her husband is late, tell him when is the best time to go home, instead of just saying "come back from work early".
Communication is not just lip service. For example, caring is not enough. If you really care about each other, you should think about whether you really understand each other's feelings and needs and give them the necessary attention. If one of the husband and wife does not agree with what they say, we can also find some crux of the marriage problem so as to solve it as soon as possible.
Step 2 seek truth from facts
When criticizing the other party, you can't use exaggerated and distorted expressions such as "you never do housework" and "you always yell at me". The other person may say "I have never" and "I am not always". Not only do they not admit what they are accused of, but they may also accuse the other party of being unreasonable and entangle how many times they have done it, thus diverting the main problem.
Step 3 understand body language
According to experts' research, 65% communication between people is nonverbal, and every move of people contains information exchange. If couples can try their best to understand and accurately feel each other's nonverbal information, it will help them communicate better.
4. True repentance
To let the other person know his mind, only by showing it can others know. It not only helps to show the self-confidence of the expresser, but also helps the real intimacy between husband and wife. Some speakers may say that they hide their true feelings because they are worried about each other. In fact, this kind of worry is mostly for myself, because I am afraid that I am not as good as I think, and so on. Of course, the most important communication between husband and wife is to tell each other their beautiful feelings in time.
Step 5 choose the right time
Good language communication needs more appropriate time arrangement. Talking about some thorny issues when the other person is in a good mood may help to reduce contradictions. When the other person is in a state of intense work or life, trying to talk about some pleasant topics with the other person is actually a message of respect, consideration and understanding for the other person. The choice of time and topic itself is a good way of communication.
Step 6 learn to listen
In addition to expressing yourself, good communication is also important to actively listen to each other and give feedback. Listening not only helps to understand each other, but also shows consideration and respect for each other. At the same time, it is also sending a message to the other party that he should listen to his voice in the same way.
Both sides should have in-depth communication, whether it is children's education, feelings between husband and wife, sexual life, etc., so as to achieve real mutual understanding and communication.
7. Practical.
Don't seize each other's shortcomings as a "magic weapon" to accuse each other.
8. Praise and praise
Constantly encouraging and praising each other is an effective way for husband and wife to communicate well. Mutual praise between husband and wife is more than accusation, which is very beneficial to the healthy development of husband and wife relationship. Of course, praise should be specific, no matter how big or small, as long as the other party does well, it is necessary to constantly affirm. Doing so can make the other person feel that you really care about him and will urge him to do better.
It hurts when it's useless, but it doesn't hurt when it's used. This is a well-known theory of Chinese medicine. The same is true for both husband and wife in marriage. Proper communication can enhance the relationship between husband and wife and solve many contradictions in the bud. On the contrary, the lack of necessary communication will never produce "the beauty of distance", but will only open the intimate distance between husband and wife and leave a lot of room for contradictions. Therefore, a happy family must start with good communication.