Abstract: Middle school students are in adolescence, which belongs to a special period of psychological maturity. The family education of children at this stage will have a far-reaching impact on their future development and even their life. However, in today's educational environment in China, influenced by exam-oriented education, parents and teachers are concerned about their children's grades and enrollment rate. The importance of family education is concealed by the great academic pressure, and most teachers and parents ignore the mental health problems of children.
Keywords: secondary education; Family education; Mental health problem
Middle school is a special period for children's psychological development. At this stage, children's psychological changes are more complicated and close to maturity, but they are still inexperienced, and some manifestations of adolescence also follow. Therefore, children at this stage are prone to psychological problems, or bury hidden dangers of mental illness. With the suicide of college students and the rising crime rate of teenagers, the psychological problems of teenagers have aroused widespread concern from all walks of life. The existence of psychological problems of middle school students and their psychological development have become the focus of attention from all walks of life. Family is the most basic educational environment for children to come to this world, and its influence on children's mental health can not be ignored. Therefore, family education and the intimate relationship between parents and children play a great role in children's mental health.
1 Problems in Family Education
1. 1 Parents strongly expect to affect students' mental health: Parents pay too much attention to their children's learning, which can easily lead to students' psychological anxiety, emotional instability, psychological imbalance, hostility to others, depression, heavy study pressure and maladjustment. Because parents pay too much attention to students' learning and achievements, once their children fail to meet the expected standards, they will preach in an understatement. In the most serious cases, they also beat and scold, which caused great psychological pressure on children. It is easy to cause children's learning anxiety and weariness. Because they pay too much attention to their children's learning, most parents will compare their children with other excellent children and praise those children with good grades and relatively excellent grades in front of their children, which will cause great frustration to their children and may lead to students giving up on themselves.
1.2 Parents' excessive punishment affects children's mental health: Studies have shown that parents' excessive severity and punishment will have extremely adverse effects on children's mental health. Mainly because the father did not pay attention to the communication with the child in the process of punishing the child and did not give the child an explanation. After accepting the punishment, he was forced by his father's majesty not to express his anger and dissatisfaction, and suppressed this resentment in his heart. If negative emotions are not vented for a long time, psychological problems will arise. Mother's punishment is often accompanied by oral preaching, and children dare not vent their dissatisfaction and anger, which will also have a bad influence. According to statistics, most children who are often punished by their parents have poor grades, and some even hate learning and resist exams; There are also some children who have a bad temper, can't control their emotions, often quarrel with others, lack self-confidence, and even lose hope for life and the future.
1.3 parents' excessive interference in protecting their children affects the development of mental health: since most junior high school students are only children now, they are regarded as treasures at home. Parents and other elders in the family protect and interfere with their children too much out of love, which limits the development of their independence and courage. Some children are weak and anxious and can't bear failure and frustration. Excessive interference and protection from parents sometimes bring bad experiences to children. He will think that his parents' behavior is deliberately aimed at himself and regards the goodwill of others as hostility. Then there will be rebellious psychology, often doing things against parents' wishes, showing paranoid thoughts, interpersonal tension and other adverse consequences.
2 the correct way of family education
2. 1 Parents strengthen their own literacy: Parents are the first old teachers of their children, and their words and deeds will affect their children. If you want to educate excellent children, you must first make yourself excellent. It is difficult for narrow-minded parents to educate open-minded children. If parents are narrow-minded, intolerant of others and critical of their children. Over time, children will have strong self-doubt in the long-term blame. Some parents often complain that their children are lax and don't like reading. In fact, before parents complain about their children, they should first think about themselves. Are these problems all from themselves? Therefore, parents' cultural literacy is the most important factor affecting children's socialization. Parents' educational methods, educational concepts, ideals, sentiments, moral standards, family relationships, lifestyles, etc. It all depends on one's own cultural accomplishment. Therefore, parents should first strengthen their own study, establish lofty ideals, be kind to others, be honest and trustworthy, establish a high sense of responsibility, and hold a serious and responsible attitude towards others at work, so as to infect their children in life, better implement family education and promote their healthy physical and mental growth.
2.2 create a harmonious atmosphere and establish a good parent-child relationship: the establishment of good interpersonal relationships in the family is conducive to the healthy development of students' body and mind. The establishment of a good parent-child relationship is helpful for parents to convey health concepts and social goals to their children, help middle school students to form a correct outlook on life and values, enable them to establish good public morality and correct value orientation, and promote the formation of their good habits. People will face all kinds of complicated social relations in their lives. Parent-child relationship is the starting point of social relations in life. Middle school students will gain a successful and pleasant experience by establishing a good parent-child relationship with their parents, which will build their confidence and have a positive impact on other social relations. The premise of establishing a good parent-child relationship is to have a harmonious family atmosphere. Parents should maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, correctly treat the pressure brought by work and life, and show their children a positive and optimistic spirit, thus promoting the formation of their healthy personality. Establishing good communication with children is also an important guarantee for establishing good interpersonal relationships. As parents, we should take time to communicate with our children as much as possible, fully understand their personality, ideological trends, attitudes and views, really go into their inner world to understand their children, and give targeted guidance. It is children who truly feel the care, tolerance, understanding and trust of their parents and the warmth of their families, and regard their parents as friends. In this way, you will naturally like to share your troubles with your parents, and your parents' advice will be easily accepted.
2.3 Reasonable requirements and proper management: loving and respecting children does not mean indulgence. For junior high school children, don't interfere and restrain too much, but also make appropriate demands. Since most families are only children now, it is easy for parents to spoil and care too much. Most parents want to do their best to pave the way for their children so that they don't suffer a little. However, they forget that they have to experience and bear the hardships on the road to growth. Under the influence of this idea, parents are hands-on in their children's daily life, so too much interference affects the cultivation of their independent life and independent learning ability. Therefore, parents should give their children more space and give them the right to freedom. Birds in cages can never learn to fly, and flowers in greenhouses can't stand wind and rain. To cultivate children's sound personality, we must first put them in the social environment to hone, cultivate their ability to face difficulties and deal with problems, grow up in repeated setbacks and failures, and cultivate strong willpower and endurance, thus laying the foundation for future long-term development.
3 Conclusion
In order to cultivate healthy children, it is not enough to rely solely on school education, and family education is also extremely crucial. Parents are children's first teachers, and family is the starting point for children to get in touch with and know society. Therefore, in the special period of children's physical and mental growth in middle school, parents should pay attention to family education, understand the characteristics of children's psychological development in time, guide children scientifically, improve their own quality, establish good communication with children, enter their inner world, explore their real needs, establish equal parent-child relationship, and ensure their psychological healthy growth.
References:
Wang Xuemei. A study on the influence of junior middle school students' psychological problems and family environment factors [J]. Education Science and Technology News, 20 12.
[2]. Junior high school students' parent-child relationship personality characteristics and related research [J]. Educational Science Research, 20 14
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