Are you ready for the fierce competition for the senior high school entrance examination and the anxious children? For children, confidence, psychology, healthy body, normal life and necessary knowledge are indispensable. How can parents successfully help themselves with exams? This is the subject of our conversation tonight.
In tonight's lecture, I want to connect the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 in series. I hope that parents can clearly recall the main contents and key practices of this report after returning home.
Recently, parents often come to communicate with me. "Teacher Yang, before the college entrance examination, we were under great psychological pressure as parents of candidates. We should be careful in everything. At the most critical time, we are very worried about talking to our children. " These are actually psychological problems of parents and candidates under pressure.
In the same picture, the children in kindergarten saw a huge apple. They think it is big and delicious, and they see joy, but such a big apple is very stressful for parents and senior three students.
So stress depends on where your eyes are focused. There are many inner feelings that can be revealed. For example, by observing children's attitude when they talk recently, their emotions when they study, and their behaviors in life, they can reflect their inner psychological state.
I think the pressure of the college entrance examination is largely the pressure brought by a society.
For example, now we see that many places have countdown to the college entrance examination. What are the functions of these countdown? I think the positive side is to remind and urge candidates to forge ahead, while the negative impact is to give candidates a high sense of urgency and aggravate the pressure.
I think for parents, such pressure does not have to be passed on to candidates.
By the final stage of the exam, the accumulation of students' academic foundation has been basically completed, so it can be said that the results are basically finalized. Therefore, parents should not expect miracles in the college entrance examination too much, but should help students adjust their psychology, keep their normal mind, play their normal level and avoid mistakes.
One person achieved 1 success goals.
The goal of students, teachers and parents in senior high school entrance examination and college entrance examination is a systematic project. For parents, I hope their children can successfully complete the college entrance examination and enter the ideal school for further study.
In fact, the successful completion of the senior high school entrance examination and college entrance examination is only a big goal or vision. It is of course important for us to think and study the senior high school entrance examination every day, but have we ever thought about the specific small goals under the big goals?
Take the college entrance examination as an example. What are parents' wishes? What is the child's goal? What kind of university do you want to enter and what kind of major are you suitable for? What kind of university can I enter? What major can I study? The more specific and clear the goal is, the better.
I think parents and candidates may wish to set three goals when facing the exam results.
The first goal is the ideal goal, and I will enter an ideal school after the exam. This is the ideal and dream place for all candidates, and this goal is called and inspired.
The second realistic goal is "the fruit that can be picked by jumping". The goal that can be achieved through hard work can play a central role in independence and self-confidence. If the child is nervous because of the pressure of the college entrance examination, then parents may wish to help him lower his goal. "Just like the slogan in sports competitions,' guarantee two guarantees one', guarantee two means retreat, with a wide range of goals and little pressure." Of course, parents can't do without asking, "What do you take in the exam, and the children will think that you have given up."
The third is the goal of bottoming out. Just in case, if you fail the exam, you won't panic if you have plans in your heart. Guaranteed goals can play a role in eliminating worries.
In a word, we need to look up at the starry sky, keep our feet on the ground, have a goal and be prepared with both hands. "
I have a successful case in this respect. There is a student in Qibao Middle School who is very interested in bronzes and archaeology. In his sophomore year, a professor from Peking University invited him to be admitted to Peking University in the future. However, his grades in school are only above average. He came to me for advice. I gave him an analysis and was admitted to Peking University. This is my dream goal. You should have realistic goals. So you have to give up for different goals. Students say give it a try, and then adjust their movements, such as studying their weak subjects. Because his three-tier goals were clear and his ideals were clear, he was motivated, so he was finally admitted to Peking University and achieved his goals.
two
Create two learning environments
For candidates, there are two important learning environments on the day of the exam: family environment and school environment.
I think every candidate's family environment should have a warm and quiet atmosphere. Warmth refers to the feeling of home, which can give children energy and support. Quiet means that there should be no too much noise at home, so that the examinee can feel at ease, especially the parents should not always accuse him, which makes him very annoyed.
The school environment should be tense and orderly. Students feel mutual influence and support in group activities. The examinee is not in an isolated environment, but with the environment, his mood fluctuates and keeps a normal state. Schools should not exaggerate the significance of the success of college entrance examination to the success or failure of life. Militarized management and network environment will only bring the negative effect of "Alexander".
But peace must not go to the other extreme. A parent told me that a family mute project was done at home before the exam. She said, "We are like grandchildren at home. Walking gently, the mobile phone is removed, the toilet can't be put down, and we all go to say hello when people go upstairs. " I don't think this is right either. We cannot live in a quiet environment. Candidates' excessive sensitivity to sound is an excuse for inner pressure, and the pressure accumulated in the body cannot be alleviated. Therefore, our parents should not give in but let go.
Third, pay attention to three types of candidates.
Facing the coming college entrance examination, our students are no longer marching at the same level. In any school, any class, every student has his own level. Now every student should grasp his own state, test his own level, achieve his own goals and achieve his own success. Therefore, parents should not only compare their children with candidates of the same age, but also pay attention to the progress and improvement of their children's self-development. My advice to different students is:
For students with excellent academic performance, the main purpose of preparing for the exam is just in case. They are "tightrope dancers", so there must be no mistakes in the strong competition, and they must win steadily. Maintain a stable mentality and slowly and steadily develop your excellent level. The true performance of maintaining the usual level is success. Olympic champions will also be nervous. Usually do it. Excellent students and old athletes have a stable mentality. Excellent students need to decompress themselves. For excellent students, the competition in senior grades is very fierce. Candidates should pay attention to stability, mainly to achieve emotional stability and stability, do not have unexpected emotions, and taste the state of the exam.
One student has always been good at math. However, in a mock exam before the exam, a question got stuck, resulting in a gap of 20 points in peacetime. When he came to me for help, his legs could no longer walk. His physical performance is the psychological tension caused by constant hints to himself. I keep encouraging him that all you have to do in the exam is to keep a good mood, and your math level can be successful even if you put a stretcher in the examination room. After consulting, he finally got into the ideal school.
For students with average academic performance, they should be strong in the army to catch the exam. In the final review stage, they should check and fill in the gaps, get back the points they shouldn't have lost, and improve their exam results in a solid and effective way.
In my opinion, compared with excellent students, the foundation is not solid. Pay attention to the place where you lose points in every exam, just like a fishing net. How much you catch is the improved score. A parent is very worried about the fluctuation of children's scores. She charted her grades. What's more frightening is that her college entrance examination estimate is low. I said: This is your fault. Why is the college entrance examination low? This is a negative hint to children. Therefore, in the face of the decline of the scores in the mock exam stage, we should thank each exam for losing points, analyze the reasons from the lost points, and get the solution to the problem. Therefore, the mock exam is the awareness of a large number of candidates to train for the exam, so that they can complete limited questions in a limited time. Similarly, why are there papers written by different teachers? This is also to improve the adaptability of candidates. Therefore, in the face of the mock exam before the exam, parents should not be nervous because of the change of scores, and solid can bring a leap.
For students with poor academic performance, if they want to be brave, they must face it with confidence, never give up, never give up, and stick to it with tenacious courage.
Some students finally gave up and even didn't want to go to school. This is actually a sign of self-distrust. So I think no matter what happens, don't give up until the end. Parents should give him confidence anyway. Without confidence, he will despair. If you give up, miracles will not happen, and others will not leave opportunities to those who give up. With the popularization of the college entrance examination, everyone can find a position that suits them, and everyone has a way out.
4. Understand four mental states.
1, mentally healthy people, they have confidence, ability, goals and methods, and meet the arrival of the college entrance examination with appropriate pressure. For such children, the companionship and encouragement of our parents is the best action. Parents should pay attention to whether they still have a good mood when they go to school every day. Special groups have special feelings at special times, so it is healthy to have pressure.
2, psychological tension, students have been struggling for a long time in senior three. At this time, there will be symptoms caused by fatigue, such as drowsiness, which requires us to debug and relax. Let them have the confidence to face the exam.
There is a general mentality of "wanting to win and being afraid of losing", and people are often worried about what will happen. "What if time is too late?" "The test questions are difficult. What if I don't review them?" "What if I don't play well?" Facing the college entrance examination with all kinds of doubts. For such children, parents should help them build up self-confidence, make reasonable expectations, eliminate worries and play a normal level.
3, psychological anxiety, often afraid of exams, during the exam, the heart beats faster, hands shake, the mind is blank, and thinking is interrupted. For such children, parents must give more comfort, turn to the school psychological teacher for psychological decompression, and improve their mood and test-taking ability through cognitive adjustment and behavior training.
3. People with psychological barriers. I found that more candidates were anxious about the exam. They show that they can do some problems, but they are still worried and even compulsive. When reading a book, they always look at a page, as if they are studying, but they don't look inside. Physically, it is easy to have loose bowels, and it is easy to catch a cold and have a fever. In this case, parents should find a psychological teacher to give their children cognitive counseling and intervention after seeing it.
4. Mental illness. If you look at a topic repeatedly for a long time, you are afraid of making mistakes. Faint in the examination room. Because of fear of exams, severe insomnia, etc. When parents encounter extreme situations, they should decisively interrupt students' exams and deal with them. Health is more precious than college entrance examination.
Five remedies were adopted.
1, Self-taught and Self-supplemented: According to your own actual situation, make a review plan, carefully sort out the textbook knowledge, and focus on reviewing weak links.
2. Self-study and other supplements: According to your actual situation, make a review plan, carefully sort out the textbook knowledge, find out the knowledge points that you don't understand or often make mistakes, and ask the teacher to give targeted guidance.
3. He made up for his mistakes: he found his weaknesses by doing examination papers in foreign schools and regions, and carried out intensive exercises.
4. Send him to make up for it: by doing papers in foreign schools and other places, find your own weaknesses, find a make-up teacher, and make up targeted lessons.
5, double check and double supplement: not only follow the rhythm of school review, but also squeeze out time to review according to your own review plan, both self-help and ask the teacher to "guide the maze."
Whether it is self-help or help from others, what needs to be supplemented is confidence, methods and knowledge. Parents should not let their children make up all the time. Without targeted counseling, it can only be a result of "wasting people's money".
Master six communication skills
1 Don't say anything that hurts children's self-esteem. For example, "I don't think you have a chance", "I don't think you can pass the exam" and "What are you doing now if you didn't work hard before", etc. These are taboos that cause psychological fluctuations of candidates.
2 Understand children's psychological needs. A parent came to me and said, "My child wants to cook a meal for his parents before the exam the next day." I asked, do you know what your child means? His parents replied, "He would rather cook than study." I said that since you already know his idea, why don't you adjust it with his idea? Parents should adjust their children's psychology before the exam. For example, letting children walk may get inspiration.
Talk to children equally, make friends with children, and make them feel relaxed.
4 be a child's consultant and give advice. For example, parents should never say "no" when they fill in their voluntary majors. I want you to learn something, so that regardless of his interests, students will quit even if they enter colleges and universities, and their favorite majors will also achieve success.
5 Let children have their own space. Parents should not stare at people. This is a very painful thing. The child is reviewing in the room. Don't inspect the post for a while, and cross the water for a while. Giving children a sense of space is a sign of respect.
6 poor communication. Written communication. In case of language conflict between parents and children, I suggest using paper, pen, text messages and other means to communicate in writing, which will produce better results.
Seven, answer seven questions.
1, what should I do if my child is tired near the exam?
Parents should analyze the specific reasons, perhaps physical fatigue? Maybe it's lack of self-confidence because of poor performance in many exams? Maybe it's depression and anxiety about the college entrance examination?
2. What should I do to simulate the fluctuation of test scores?
Due to the repeated emphasis on the difficulty and style of simulated test papers, the adaptability of candidates in each exam is different, and it is normal for their grades to fluctuate. Parents should help their children carefully analyze the reasons for losing points every time and let them feel the gains brought by losing points in every exam.
3. What should I do if my child suffers from insomnia before the exam?
Candidates with insomnia should let nature take its course. There is no problem staying up late for the college entrance examination tomorrow. If parents can't strengthen their awareness of sleep, they can't sleep. Insomnia, lying down does not consume physical strength, but anxiety affects physical strength. Therefore, candidates should have confidence in tomorrow. You'd better have a good sleep, play some light music and pay attention to the room temperature. And I also want to emphasize two wrong practices: 1 Don't take sleeping pills. Don't sleep with me. Some parents are anxious about their children's sleep and want to sleep with their children, which will make their children psychologically retrogress and return to infancy, making them lack the courage to face difficulties.
4. What should I do if I lose my admission ticket during the exam? Remember your examinee number (that is, the college entrance examination registration number) and admission ticket number (if you can't remember it, you can check it in the head teacher's office or the academic affairs office), bring your ID card and the certificate issued by the school, and go to the Admissions Office of the local education bureau to reissue it. If you lose it on the day of the exam, you should explain the situation to the school teacher and the leading teacher of the test center at the first time, strive for the advanced examination room, and then entrust your family and teachers to reissue it in time so as not to affect the next exam.
5. What should I do if I fail the exam?
Sometimes candidates feel that they have failed in the exam. In fact, it is possible that this exam is very difficult. If it is caused by the difficulty of the test paper, it may be that most candidates have low test scores. Let children not care too much about how they did in an exam, but put it down after one exam and concentrate on preparing for the next exam. Don't let remorse affect the next exam.
6. What should I do if my child gets sick during the exam?
Parents should not be too nervous about the common cold or allergy. After taking the medicine correctly, they should have a rest and take the exam as usual. Don't make negative hints: "Poor health will definitely affect the exam" and so on.
For serious diseases, attention should be paid to timely treatment to minimize the impact on the examination.
7. What should I do if unexpected events affect the exam?
In case of unexpected events such as rainstorm and traffic jam, parents should warn their children not to panic, treat them calmly, improvise and actively ask for help.
If you make adequate preparations in advance, you can also avoid some accidents.
Eight people put forward eight practical suggestions.
1, adjust the schedule, avoid staying up late, and ensure that candidates sleep for 7 hours.
2, balanced nutrition should avoid strong nutrition, pay attention to safety during the exam.
3. Exercise properly, avoid strenuous exercise and prevent accidental fracture caused by playing ball.
4. Avoid internal and external anxiety and nagging, avoid long-term anxiety and nagging, and ensure a normal family atmosphere.
5, positive suggestion does not blame or deny, for candidates, many problems are many years, it is impossible to expect to change before the exam.
6. Appreciate incentives, avoid complaining to each other, and encourage children to behave well.
7. Stay calm and avoid expecting too much. For candidates, extraordinary performance is a rare low-power event. Most of the candidates' exams are normal, and everything we do is to prevent abnormal performance.
8. Family harmony avoids quarreling between husband and wife. Parents should be consistent in their attitudes and complain and blame each other, which can only make children feel at a loss.
Warm reminder at 9: 00 pm
Parents should achieve "three respects":
● Respect children's physiological laws and prevent subjective interference;
● Respect children's test habits and prevent forced guidance;
● Respect children's personality characteristics and prevent extreme teaching.
Parents achieve "three escorts":
● Eat with children but don't sleep;
● Exercise with children but don't review;
● Chat with children but don't take exams with them.
Parents achieve "three moderation"
● Moderate expectations-self-confidence, harmony and avoidance of opposition;
● Moderate care-rational and calm, avoiding impatience;
● Moderate nursing-loose outside and tight inside to avoid excessive.
I recommend that students write the word "eagle" with their bodies, stretching their bodies to the maximum, and each stroke is an action according to the strokes of "eagle", with their bodies concentrated and their minds written to the maximum. On the one hand, it is the physical regulation of aerobic exercise, and it is also a positive psychological suggestion.
During the preparation period, parents should not pass on their social pressure to their children. Harmonious and warm family relationship, stable mood and optimistic attitude will all affect children's smooth response to the college entrance examination.
Finally, I sincerely wish: the candidates' college entrance examination is successful, parents' dreams come true and teachers' teaching is successful.