Fan's successful case of family education
Find your self-confidence and raise your sails
Successful education case of left-behind children 1
In recent years, China's economy has developed rapidly, and the economic development between urban and rural areas is unbalanced. Many parents of students have gone out to work or do business, so a large number of students have appeared. Left-behind students? . The increasing number of left-behind children, a special group, puts forward higher requirements for the work of rural class teachers. Among the left-behind children, the biggest problem they face is emotional loneliness. Left-behind children are far away from their parents, lack of good confidants, have nowhere to tell their grievances, have difficulty in getting guidance and help from their parents in their behavior habits and values, and have not received enough emotional care.
The strategy of our class is left-behind children. The child is clever and has a certain ability to accept. When I took him for the first time in the seventh grade, because his parents were around, he was quite cute and could be called a qualified student! But when he was in the eighth grade, his parents went out to work, and later he had a little sister, so the problem of children's education fell on his grandparents. Grandparents have to do farm work, and they usually don't care much about him. And my own educational awareness and ability are not high. I feel that when I go to school, I just give everything to my teacher and leave his studies aside. The change of this child can be imagined. He looked like a new person at once. He arrived late and left early. Absent-minded in class, dull eyes, sloppy homework, not handing it in on time, or even not doing it. I feel very depressed, I don't have the smile as before, and I don't have the fun to play with my classmates as before. Become inferior, lack a good sense of competition, seem to have no enthusiasm for anything, feel indifferent to participation, and be tired of learning; Gregarious, usually taciturn, withdrawn, unable to withstand setbacks, crying at the slightest grievance. Gradually, Xiao Ce developed a lax attitude towards life. Moreover, his study habits are also very poor. He doesn't listen carefully in class and often doesn't finish his homework. If his parents hear that his academic performance is not good, they will call him and give him a good scolding. In his childhood, he was often scolded without his parents' companionship and care. Coupled with the rejection of his peers, his bad behavior was criticized by his teachers, which made him form a withdrawn personality, a very low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence. He gradually lost interest in learning and became rebellious. It can be said that he is the hopeless and annoying student in the class. Many teachers also think that as long as he sits quietly, he doesn't make any noise in class.
Through observation, home visits and conversations, I found that there are two main reasons for this strange character of this child: one is the doting and accommodating of grandparents and the lack of family education; The second one is
Compensatory fatherly love, my father gives him living expenses and pocket money every time he comes back, trying to meet his material requirements, but he basically doesn't mention learning and never asks about moral education. Thirdly, I neglected my study and got into the habit of doing whatever I want and being indifferent.
Every time I see him? Lonely? I secretly vowed to bring him back to the big family of the class and let him regain his confidence and courage in learning. Hippocrates, an ancient Greek doctor, once said: It is more important to know what kind of people are sick than to know what kind of diseases a person has. ? So I began to observe him slowly and understand his psychological characteristics and causes. I mainly took the following three measures:
First, the connection between home and school forms a strong educational synergy. Human education is a systematic educational project, in which family education is the foundation of all education. Although the parents of left-behind children are not around, we can get in touch with them and let them cooperate with school education and avoid education? Short circuit? . I visited his home first, and through chatting, I helped parents get out of the misunderstanding of education, improve their ideological understanding, change their concepts, and form a joint force with school education. Let his grandmother know that education is not just a school matter, and parents also have the responsibility to let him urge their children to finish their homework. At the same time, get in touch with his parents and tell them not to use grades to measure the quality of their children, and parents should not threaten to beat and scold him when his grades are not satisfactory. They are also required to call their children often to let them feel the care of their parents. I often call his parents to report Xiaoce's performance in school, discuss countermeasures with them, and tell them to encourage Xiaoce more and criticize him less. Communicate with my father by telephone, and let him realize the problems existing in the children and the seriousness of the problems. When a child makes a mistake, let him accept the correct criticism, let him realize the mistake and encourage him to correct it. Let parents know that money can't make up for children's needs for affection, and unconditionally meeting children's material requirements will breed children's bad habits of leisure and hate work; Parents should pay more attention to their children's study and life, affirm their children's progress in time, and let their children feel their father's concern for their children's study; Parents should let their children know the importance of learning. Although my father is still far away from the city, he can take time to call his children every few days to learn about their study and life and communicate with them. After a while, I will take the initiative to call me again to understand the performance of my child at school.
Second, pour what you love and build a bridge of trust.
Sincere feelings are based on spiritual communication, and heartfelt love can achieve this tacit understanding. Facing this lonely back and face, how can you bear to reprimand him severely, even if there is a scene that makes you unhappy, can you punish him? I said to myself over and over again,? You are his teacher, just like his mother. You should help him. ?
(1) Go into your heart and show infinite concern.
I sincerely walked into his heart, cared about his healthy growth from the bottom of my heart, gave him motherly love in my life, made up for the lack of care from his parents, and dispelled the shadow accumulated in his heart because his parents were absent. I often chat with him. The content of chatting is not limited to life and study. I can talk about my thoughts, understand his hobbies, eliminate his confusion and let him know that I have been paying attention to him. When I encounter difficulties in my life, I will care for him and help him like my own children. Once he had a fever, I personally sent him to the health center, accompanied him for examination, gave him an injection, and poured boiling water to take his medicine.
(2) Refuse to reprimand and practice tolerance education.
When he makes mistakes, we should help him in time, educate him, confide in his heart with emotion, face to face, treat him with reason, and help him learn to be a man, learn to live, learn to seek knowledge and learn to pursue. When he doesn't listen carefully in class, his homework isn't finished on time, he scribbles, forgets things, arrives late and leaves early, and his discipline is loose, he should be reprimanded as little as possible, take time out to talk with him as much as possible, tolerate it if necessary, or reduce the amount and difficulty of homework. Give him more encouragement and less criticism.
(3) Find the bright spot and try to educate successfully.
In order to get rid of his inferiority complex and inspire his self-confidence and self-motivation, I not only gave him psychological counseling, sincere help and concern, but also provided him with the joy of trying to succeed. In view of his positive performance in labor, I caught his bright spot in time and put him in charge of the hygiene of his group. He really lived up to his high expectations, and the ground in his group was particularly clean. I praised him greatly. The students also cast admiring glances at him. He felt the joy of success in the praise of everyone. I also try my best to tap its bright spot, try my best to meet his psychological needs from praise, let him have a comforting and happy inner experience, enhance his self-confidence and self-motivation, and improve his interest and inner motivation in learning. In class, he sat quietly and I smiled approvingly at him. I gave him an encouraging look when he slowly raised his hand hesitantly; When he finished his homework neatly, the whole class was very excited.
Applause brought him the joy of success; When he made a mistake, what was waiting for him was the tolerant face of the teacher. So that he can experience unprecedented success and joy, and gradually establish self-confidence. When a child has the interest and motivation to learn, his improvement becomes much easier. Let him integrate into the class as soon as possible and find happiness in his study and growth.
Third, give full play to the collective role. A psychologist once pointed out? Let children educate their children? This principle is insightful and reveals the great role of collective education. A class is like a big family, and the art of education of a class teacher lies in making this big family attractive to students, especially those who lack love? Left-behind children, but also let them get emotional experience in the class, so that they have a sense of yearning and friendship for the class. People are not vegetation, who can be ruthless. Children are naturally educated in groups.
In view of his situation, I also specially held a class meeting with the theme:? Want to tell you? , I still? What did you do secretly? In private, I told several students that I would say something he liked to encourage him during the class meeting. Since then, he has been very close to these students, and he often hears them shouting:? Xiao Ce, come on! ?
Through the efforts of my parents, my classmates and I, I have basically eliminated my weariness of learning and made gratifying progress in my strategy. He can talk in class, and he can often be seen holding up his right hand and eager to speak, and he can finish his homework on time. The correct rate of math homework is high, the dictation of words can pass, the level of composition is improved, and his grades have been greatly improved. He was just sitting in the classroom and playing with his classmates after class. On the playground, we can often see his lively figure when playing with classmates and hear his cheerful laughter. His changes are gratifying and his grades are gradually improving. His father expressed his gratitude to the teachers many times on the phone. At the same time, I am more gratified that his character has changed a lot. Be among the best in the shuttlecock kicking and skipping competitions organized by the school! I won honor for my class and myself.
As a class teacher, we should always create different opportunities for children to succeed. As educators, we should treat these students especially, not only their teachers, but also their teachers? Parents? We should walk into their emotional world and guide them to grow up healthily and happily. I believe that the sunshine of love can make them grow up healthily and happily. Let's work together to create a successful today and tomorrow for the left-behind students.
Family Education Successful Case Mode 2
When Lenin was eight years old, once his mother Maria? Alexandra Royana's children visited Aunt Ania's house. Lively little Lenin (nicknamed Wo Yuejia) accidentally broke a vase in his aunt's house. But nobody saw it. Later, the aunt asked the child. ? Who broke the vase? All the other kids said? Not me? Volodya Jr. dared not tell the truth in front of strangers and unfamiliar aunts, so he also answered loudly with everyone. ? Not me! ? However, mother has guessed that naughty little Volodya broke the vase.
Because children are fierce and active, there have also been incidents of damaging objects. How should we treat Volodya Jr.' s fault of concealing the truth? Of course, the easiest way is to directly expose and punish him. This ocean, parents and children can immediately? Relieved. But what about Maria? Alexander Rovna didn't smell it. In her opinion, it is important to know whether her son knows his dishonest behavior after making a mistake, and to inspire his consciousness according to the child's ideological and psychological situation. So she pretended to believe her son and was silent for three months, waiting for a sense of shame to sprout from his conscience.
She was keenly aware that her conscience was tormenting Volodya. One day, before the child went to bed, she walked up to the child and stroked his head. Unexpectedly, the child burst into tears and painfully told his mother: I lied to Ania about her menstruation: I said I didn't break the vase, but I did. ? Listen to the shame and discomfort of the child, Maria? Alexander Rovna comforted her son that if she wrote a letter to Aunt Ania, she would forgive him. Watching this smart, naive and naughty child grow up, Maria? Alexander Rovna smiled happily. To her great joy, in this moral struggle in her son's heart, the quality of beauty and honesty won.
Family Education Successful Case Mode 3
Acceptance should be an essential ability for every parent to educate their children. The so-called acceptance, in layman's terms, means that when contacting, communicating and interacting with people, we should pay attention to receiving, interpreting and accommodating all kinds of information transmitted by the other party, change roles to look at problems, objectively and concretely use these information, and make appropriate, effective and helpful responses to solve problems. What is the core of acceptance? Do you understand? , psychology is called? Empathy? Is this what people often say? Care about your heart? .
Many parents often say that children nowadays are difficult to take care of and communicate with. The reason does not rule out the child's own problems, but can parents? Empathy? Treating and accepting children's emotions and ideas is also a very important reason. In real life, many children are wrong? Positioning? ：
Some children are regarded as their parents. Subordinate? So they must obey all the orders of their parents and let them study hard and don't talk nonsense. Children become the private property of parents and can be disposed of at will. Whether indifferent or doting, it will harm them for life.
Some children are watched by their parents? Business partner? . Parents teach their children to use material stimulation completely. You got 100 this time, and I will reward you with 100 yuan. If you don't do well in the next exam, you will be spanked. This success-only theory will often lead to the abnormal development of children's intelligence, so that children's personality can not grow and develop synchronously with intelligence.
Some children are parents'? Savings office? The reason why parents are kind to their children is to give them a future.
? Kind? Welfare, parents often tell their children, we are so good to you, how can you repay such parents in the future? They think that children can shine on themselves when they grow up, otherwise they will be raised for nothing. In essence, this kind of education mode is also a kind of property education mode of trading or even unequal treatment, so the children educated in this way are often depressed and their personality is difficult to relax.
And some children become parents? A punching bag? Even many mentally unhealthy adults are the targets of wanton humiliation, venting and abuse. Such children are the most miserable, they are often physically and mentally destroyed, so that they can't become normal people.
In addition, some children who grow up in single-parent families are unable to get all the love of their parents and their emotional personality is incomplete, which leads to inferiority, autism and inability to grow up healthily.
In daily life, it often happens that children say to themselves when doing their homework: this problem is too difficult! Mom took it and said, I'm sure you don't pay attention in class, otherwise how can you find it difficult? This reaction is not empathy, so you don't accept the child's current emotions and thoughts, and your feelings for the child are accusations. This practice makes the already anxious children more anxious, and the mother doesn't understand her thoughts. If you are dissatisfied with your mother to a certain extent, you will hate your mother, and the communication between mother and child will definitely be blocked. Let's look at two more cases: case 1. As a parent, how should you respond to this fact? Parent a; You didn't do well in the exam again Why are you so stupid? So let me down!
Parent B: Can you tell me the reason why you didn't do well in this exam? Parent C: Nothing, as long as you work hard. Mom used to be afraid of exams. Parent Ding: I know it's hard for you not to do well in the exam, and I know that you really want to do well in the exam next time. Nothing is difficult for those who are willing to try. Mom believes in you and is willing to cheer for you and work hard with you. Four different reactions will produce different effects: the first kind of parents' reaction is not to accept their children's emotions, attributing their children's failure in the exam to stupidity, and planting negative seeds for their children; Showing your disappointment can not only solve the problem, but also increase the psychological pressure of children. The second parent began to answer a question. Although children will not have a negative impact, it is often because children think that you don't know her, have no feelings of the same frequency, and have doubts, distrust and even disgust for you. The third parent's reaction was not acceptance, but approval. Acceptance does not mean approval. The purpose of acceptance is to restore the child's positive emotions and thoughts, and then promote his growth, progress and improvement. Simple comfort and connivance are not the purpose, which will make children have the idea that nothing is important and do not make progress. The fourth parent's response is full of acceptance, especially? I also know that next time you really want to do well in the exam? This sentence not only goes deep into the other person's heart, but also subtly encourages and pushes the other person to strive for good results in the next exam.
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