The biggest problem with depression is not the disease itself, but your attitude towards it.
Everyone has the essence of depression more or less, but mature people will divert their emotions and will not let a single emotion be too concentrated, so they will pour all their energy into depression, and as a result, there will be no room for other positive emotional reactions such as happiness, freedom and peace.
Loneliness is the essence of life, but negative people enlarge loneliness and turn it into a unique pain, a miserable state that only one person can understand. In this way, you fall into the trap of negative thoughts. As a result, it is not that happiness never appears, but that you choose to give up happiness, preferring to embrace pain rather than let go, because without the inertia of pain, you become very empty and don't know how to respond to other emotions. This is morbid.
Remember: the cause of pain may be real, but it is your choice to maintain it. What you experience is not the inevitable cause of pain, but an excuse for you to avoid happiness or peace.
Everyone has been hurt, love, affection, friendship, grievances in the workplace, and even ugly humanity in school. But people who live in the past will be persistent in pain, and brave people will go forward and heal themselves, so they will be healthy and happy.
We can't change fate and misfortune, but we can change our emotions with consciousness, so some people can face adversity bravely, and some people will indulge in depression. Mature people are responsible for everything that happens to them.
For every living thing, thought is undoubtedly the weakest substance. It is deep in your chest, and needs your breath and blood flowing all over your body to support it. At the same time, this fragile engine is the strongest in your body. In order to support your body, it beats for you day after day, year after year, no matter what difficulties you face and how hard you work ... the material mind circulates your blood and makes your life. But what about your brain thinking? Is it always safe?
The mind of thought is sometimes more fragile than the mind of matter. Even a vertex injury, even an accidental stimulus, may arouse ripples in your heart and make your countless thoughts tremble. Autumn has come, and the wind has raised the fallen leaves all over the ground. At this time you will be injured by the season. Flowers withered, and pieces of flowers turned red in the rain. At this time, you will feel lost and write a mourning article.
However, no matter how fragile your heart is, you always want to see the brilliant sunrise in the sky every day. Let the warm sunshine dispel the haze in your heart and let a happy smile hang on your face. My friend, I wonder if you can feel how beautiful the soul under the sun is and how vibrant the life under the sun is. In the sun, your heart is dancing, in the sun, tears melt like dew, and the rest is an ode to life. In the sun, my friend, can you touch it? Actually, is that love? Is it a deep love that nature gives us? Without sunshine, life will wither. Without sunshine, the world will become dark. Without sunshine, the earth will only be covered with ice and snow ... Similarly, without love, life will wither. Without love, human beings can't live. Love is the sunshine of the soul, which shines on our spiritual space and makes the human mind as vast as the sky. Tolerance is a kind of love, a kind of broad and selfless love. At the same time, love is a kind of tolerance. Because of tolerance, the mind becomes strong and love becomes selfless and unfettered.
Love is a vague word. Love is mixed with complicated human feelings and becomes elusive. Some people are afraid of being seen and hiding in their hearts. Some people always secretly stay away from their own hearts, thinking that they are adding a lock to their own hearts, and they are no longer the same spirit. However, what a complicated word love is! Because of love, we have hate, because of hate, we have countless troubles, and we have ever-changing life content. Sometimes, we want to bury it deeply, but in the end, we find it still exists in our hearts. Sometimes, we want to escape from it, but in the end, we find it-we escape, but our hearts become extremely empty. Life suddenly becomes colorless, and we are still alive. Sometimes, we want to crush all the love, but in the end, what we see is that there is still that perfect and innocent love in our hearts.
Love is the need of the soul, just like sunshine and air, it is indispensable nutrition. Being loved is a kind of longing, like a new bud, longing for the nourishment of the earth.
I once heard a story. A girl fell in love with a teacher, but the teacher already has a family. The girl couldn't bear the pain and committed suicide in the teacher's house. People say that this teacher is really unlucky, and he will take the blame for no reason, and he is condemned for no reason. But I said, this teacher is lucky, because this girl gave her life to love him. Think about it, what is more important than human life? The girl gave up her life to love him. What can you say about such love? Although the way the girl chooses is not calm enough, although the teacher bears the pressure and condemnation innocently, compared with the precious life of the girl, isn't all the patience and endurance of the living people minimal? Living, what we can do is how to return the love given by others. What is there to be sad and resentful about living and suffering, and suffering and complaining for those who love you?
I once felt a story from a netizen's chat. Because of online dating, a friend's netizen had a big fight with him, and as a result, he and his family were deeply hurt. The netizen also suffered a heavy psychological trauma. From then on, he dared not face any opposite sex, and even had a crime prevention mentality for all netizens. Friends suppress themselves in deep injuries, but they still can't change their romantic feelings. When chatting with him, it is easy to feel his heart. His yearning and urgent need for love. But his mood is ambivalent. When others were moved by him, he immediately became afraid. When others alienated him, he became very miserable again. Love is actually something that cannot be abandoned or returned. It is closely related to human life. It makes the living feel beautiful, makes the vulnerable learn to be strong, learns to be patient, and lets the lost find it. Love is a persistent force, giving people enthusiasm, development, eternal vitality and eternal youth! Therefore, we should learn to be kind to our own love, but also to others' love and give them respect. In fact, friends just feel their own hurt, but not their own fault. A polite refusal is better than an unintentional injury. People who are married should of course consider getting married, but they can't always refuse on the pretext of loving their lover, because this excuse is far-fetched. After all, you have loved someone else, and you can't escape this love. If you want to refuse, it can only give people relief, understanding and sincerity, because love does not necessarily mean walking under the same roof and lying in the same bed. People who walk under the same roof and lie in the same bed don't necessarily have love, just like clients and prostitutes. That's true, not love, but a dirty deal! There are many ways of true love, such as shaking hands, helping a friend when he is in trouble, and feeling of trust: I believe you won't go too far with me-your eyes are actually the best answer.
When we feel hurt, we'd better not treat it as hurt. Let the soul taste a kind of pain in silence and think about why we should regard the love of others as harm. Is love wrong or do we not understand enough? Is love wrong, or are we not good enough to deserve such love? When others lose their minds because of love, can we forgive him (her) and leave him (her) an tolerance? Everyone has the right to choose to love and be loved, so we should respect everyone's rights. Give others a friendly handshake and sincere help. We need to be loved, and we need to return the love of others. As long as you can do what you can, it is enough. I'm sure the people you love will understand you. In particular, your tolerance for him (her) will be moved by your sincerity. This netizen is very lucky. After all, his friend is still alive. After all, there was such a magnificent scene. Although it has become the past, it has also become a beautiful memory. What should we eat? Let others be so desperate to pay for themselves? Think about what kind of love we need. Make others crazy about themselves? My true friend, you haven't told me this story clearly, and I can't answer you directly. But with or without it, I can only say one thing to you: please cherish a good memory. Please don't regard love as the ugliness of this world, no matter what it brings you. Please forgive others' love, please tell your family and yourself that tolerance is love for others and love for yourself. Only by tolerating us can we forgive each other. Only with tolerance can we understand what love is and what true love is. Only tolerance can make you stronger. Only with tolerance can we feel the beauty of life and the happy time of life. We are people living in society, and we can't be confined to one family all our lives. We are also accepting warmth and love from all directions, warmth and sincere feelings from friends. When we feel that we can't find happiness at home, we will go to the opposite sex around us.
At any time, we may face difficulties and storms. Small families sometimes make noise, but friends who accompany you will never leave. The opposite sex who loves you deeply is also your most cherished bosom friend. Please treat her (him) well, because apart from family, he (she) gives you the same love-a lot!
Love is a transparent substance in the sun, which is as clear as water. I don't believe in privacy because of love and sincerity. Privacy is something that is hidden from the sun, and it is always awkward. Privacy is the darkest corner of human heart, and people can't know what they are doing secretly under the cover of privacy. Love, like friendship, is just and normal, a kind act of human beings, a kind mood and selfless dedication.
How can we have a sunny attitude? If we look for a kind of hardware, "habit" is hardware, and we have grasped almost every aspect of life. Why only a few wise men in the world can understand the mystery and why it is on the pyramid of Chinese studies. Teacher Zhou is 63 years old today, and her hair is OK (black enough). This is all natural. What should I do if my hair gets better? People in China, Ba Li, said that I should tap for two minutes every day with ten fingers, from front to back. After I listened to it, I knocked every day. My brother-in-law is almost 80 years old this year, and his hair is basically black. He said that he had eaten two eggs every day for six years. I comb my hair 256 times a day, get up 64 times in the morning (8864 times), finish the sauna 64 times (8864 times) and go out 64 times (8864 times). When you form these habits, losing weight is no longer a problem. Pay attention to your diet. After your goal is achieved, you will be very happy and sunny. So it makes sense to say that "habit" is the hardware of sunshine.
The second thing I want to say today is that not all problems can be solved, and spiritual strength is also very important. We need software to have a sunny attitude and mobilize spiritual strength. Religions at all times and all over the world are talking about the sunshine mentality. Time is limited today. Let me talk about my own experience. I think these points are more important. I put three tenses (English), one past tense, two present tenses and the third future tense. What happened in the past, present and future, let's talk about the first past tense first. A considerable part of our pain comes from past setbacks, dropping out of school, lovelorn and unlucky. Is there anyone who is endlessly immersed in pain? Like Xianglinsao in Lu Xun's works, her children were taken away by wolves, and she talked endlessly when she saw people. If you have good judgment, it's like finding a key!
I want to give you two sentences about the past tense. The first sentence was said by Mr. Kai-fu Lee, "Have the courage to change what can be changed, have the mind to accept what cannot be changed, and have the wisdom to judge the difference between the two". We must have the courage to change some things, but we must have the heart to accept many things that cannot be changed, but at the same time we must have the wisdom to judge whether this thing can be changed. There is a saying that "it's going to rain and mom is going to get married", and you can't stop it.
There is also a saying that "the weak let thoughts control behavior, and the strong control thoughts with behavior." Some people are unhappy for half a day, one day, two days, one week, two weeks. This is a typical "let thoughts control emotions", and thoughts are slaves of emotions, not masters of emotions. A strong man has a high emotional intelligence. He will adjust his emotions, he will control his emotions, and he will not be a slave to them. If you are unhappy and unlucky, what should you do? We should be strong, change ourselves with actions, play ball games, travel, and spend money on things. This is the past tense I said.
I was very ill in the hospital, and I was in pain. The doctor told me a story. He told me that there was a man carrying a can of wine to deliver the goods, but he met a hurdle on the road. The jar broke and the wine spilled, but the man left without looking back. People feel strange and ask: you won't look back when the jar is broken? The man said, is it useful for me to turn around? Some people must be in pain when they encounter the same thing, and some people may cry. This is how we face the past, and we are responsible for ourselves.
The second is the present tense. In peacetime, the crisis suddenly came. "There are unexpected events in the sky, and people are doomed", such as financial turmoil, earthquake and swine flu. In the face of crisis, I will give you a conclusion that "there are always more methods than problems, and far more than problems". If you think about a problem, will you be more afraid? If you worry about it, you will become more afraid. But because there are always more methods than problems, you still eat and sleep, and your "computer" (subconscious) will help you find a way. Write down this conclusion, "there are far more methods than problems." There is such a picture in psychology (looking at the whiteboard on the spot). This is the sea and this is the iceberg. There are many icebergs on the seabed, but few of them are exposed. For example, the iceberg exposed to the sea is equivalent to "consciousness", while what is buried under the water is the "subconscious" that we have not yet tapped. The "subconscious" is extremely powerful, with extremely fast running speed and huge storage capacity, and it is turning around 24 hours a day.
(Consciously and subconsciously) These two relationships are just like the relationship between the chairman and the general manager. The chairman is equipped with a particularly capable general manager. Under normal circumstances, the general manager has to listen to the chairman, but sometimes the general manager is too capable to listen to the chairman. But the "subconscious", a particularly capable general manager, will only listen to the "consciousness" and will never disobey it. At this time, "consciousness" spoke. For example, if this person thinks that he is really capable, this person will really become capable. If this person feels timid, he will immediately feel beautiful. If you (consciously) want to be beautiful, your "computer" (subconsciously) will give you a reason to be beautiful. If you want to "finish", your brain will do it according to your thinking. If you think "there are always more methods than problems, and far more than problems", "computer" (subconscious) will help you find the methods, so we should remember the saying "there are always more methods than problems". With this belief, the way to eat and sleep will come slowly. If you don't have this belief, then everything is over.
Finally, I want to tell you a future tense. We are always unwilling to challenge the future and are not clear about it. It is always said that people's greatest fear is the future. How do we deal with the fear of the future? There is a sentence, I hope you can write it down. This is what my teacher told me when I took the Tsinghua exam 44 years ago, and I still remember it. This is "one red heart, two preparations", which is particularly effective for all kinds of futures.
What two kinds of preparation: the best, what do you think, and the so-called sunshine mentality should also think of the worst. If you don't think about the future, you have to be afraid. Come to think of it, the worst is just so. One star has a tax problem. His cousin knows me. He is always worried about this and that. He is one year older than me. One day, he suddenly said that it was a big deal to go back to his hometown in Chongqing. After we thought of the worst, we thought that "this is nothing more than it" and we made the best preparation. In addition, it must become a model. Is it possible for the "worst" situation to turn defeat into victory? Too many failures in history have turned into victories. More and more, we see that the Wenchuan earthquake is likely to be a case in which our country turned defeat into victory, and Sima Qian also turned defeat into victory. In Athens Olympic Games, China women's volleyball team played against Russia, and the final was just two goals short of 23-2/KLOC-0. If everyone wants to "it's over, it's over", it's really a failure. If there is no possibility of success, at least there are many bright spots in life. Are you afraid that this model will face future challenges and unknowns? Fear? First of all, we must strive to do our best. The worst thing I can think of is this. Is there any bright spot in my life? Is it possible to shake my heart? Teacher Zhou is like this. In the face of future challenges, big and small, she thinks so, and she is fully prepared for the bad.
In this regard, Teacher Zhou also gave an example. I am 63 years old. Is it scary for the elderly? What about cancer? What if you are paralyzed? I'm not afraid at all, because "one red star, two preparations", I strive to do my best and live to 120 years old. Fight for 120? I didn't say 120. (Applause) Thank you.
Why is 120 reasonable? A professor said that the normal life span of people is 120. My father-in-law died at the age of 97 and lived a long life. The Lao Lu I met was 1 17 years old. Some time ago, it was reported that his third wife had passed away, and he still wanted to find someone in his fifties because he had this requirement. When I left, I asked him how long you would live, and he said you would live for another 20 years. Everyone can pay attention to him, because the social attention is very high. I told CCTV that I opposed Sunset Red, and they said that Lv Zijian reported it in 2002. Is he still here? Then we can report it again with sunset red.
Let me tell you something very important. I study goals and find that there are two kinds of goals: one is rigid and the other is elastic.
What is rigidity? The 2008 Olympic Games was held in Beijing. A boss photographed a stadium and said it would be completed in 2009, okay? No, cutting off the head is very rigid. I work hard 120 years old is more flexible. There is an old saying, "get what you want, get what you want." This year, we will strive for "high" 120, middle-aged and over 90 and 80 years old. Now I am 63 years old. If I try to live to be 64, I will live another year. I'm in trouble. I should eat and sleep. If I strive to be 120 years old, I am now equivalent to a kindergarten, so I will lay a foundation, form good habits and attack foreign languages. This is different. Never think only of the best and the worst. Now I have estimated the worst. What do you think is the worst situation for Teacher Zhou? You may be embarrassed to say, I said that the worst case may be that you "left" (died) after class today. But I can still find many bright spots. I got so much happiness, this is the happiness of life. Also, I am in Zhuhai Culture Lecture Hall today, and it is very valuable to tell you about my life experience. I checked the information. Qin Shihuang was 49 years old, Shakespeare was 52 years old and Zhuge Liang was 53 years old. I was such a miserable loser in Tsinghua, and now I live to be 63. If I really leave, it will be a good place. I don't need to talk about the sunshine mentality. People there are very sunny. Everyone is leaving. I just left a few days early in order to find a good seat for you. I'm not afraid to fly now. I have turned this idea into a habit. I always think so. I invented a word "psychological span" from this mode of thinking. Psychological span is the best and the worst. The ancients said that "the prime minister can hold a boat in his stomach", that is, the good and the bad are all in his heart.
I hope everyone will turn this thinking into a habit. This is what I am talking about today, "How to make us have a sunny attitude", and the second is the spiritual strength, what about the past tense, the present tense and the future tense. Why does Miss Zhou talk so much? Because that's where Miss Zhou went wrong.
Finally, let me talk about my lesson.
I was admitted to Tsinghua on 1964 and graduated on 1970. In the 1970s, all the young college students left. How many people can stay in Tsinghua? I was the luckiest person at that time. But I am so lucky that there may be some problems I don't know yet (I have no resistance to setbacks). I met a little thing at school at that time. My mode of thinking is to think negatively and think that things will be like that. I can't eat or sleep well at once. Then I came to the fork in the road and thought negatively. After three months, I can't eat well and sleep well at once. I was assigned to the assembly workshop of Tsinghua University Automobile Factory as a worker, but actually I didn't go to the workshop all day. After graduation, I worked in an office for a year, and then I returned to the automobile factory. I don't know anything about loading a car. I think after reading for so many years, why is this happening? I'm in a daze, and I can't fit the car at all. I think I have studied as a college student for so many years. Why? I read Mao Xuan every day for those days, and then I talked about my experience. I'm in a daze, not at all. At that time, people said that Zhou Shiyuan would talk about your experience, and I hesitated. How can I feel this way? It was so good before! This is unacceptable to me. The more I do this, the more I can't sleep. It's like riding a bike with broken brakes. The more you fail, the faster you drive, and the more you fail. I went to the school hospital for an injection and medicine, but I didn't respond to the injection and medicine. I'm scared. How can I see myself having a nervous breakdown in Tsinghua? Is a person who is trampled, insulted and looked down upon. How can I stand such a result? I think when I entered Tsinghua, it was a beautiful Tsinghua campus. I am the monitor of our class. When I was assigned, the first place in two grades was Zhou Shiyuan of Tsinghua. I certainly can't stand such a change.
197 1 one night, I was on duty in the workshop. I was so afraid of real life that I got up in the middle of the night and made up my mind to leave this world. I wrote a note, "I am surrounded by endless contradictions. I struggled hard, but I couldn't get rid of it. I choose to die. " Then I went to find the rope (trying to hang myself), but fortunately I didn't fall to my death and fell into a coma. I woke up to see how this happened. I didn't want to do this at first, but when I touched my head, it was all blood. How can I see the school doctor like this? How to explain it? Then I have to fall again, and I still didn't die after falling again. I think I'm just a little short. Even if I find a paint sprayer and pour paint into my mouth, I can kill myself. I didn't find the paint sprayer, I found the sand, I stuffed it in my mouth, and I still didn't die. Later, I found a bottle. I unscrewed it and drank it At that time, my body had some reflex vomiting, and then I didn't know anything. Later, I heard that the doctor didn't know what I was drinking and how to save it, so he sent workers to check it. It turned out that I was drinking 98% concentrated sulfuric acid. During the operation, my stomach was cut off 7/ 10. At that time, the gastric mucosa had been eroded. Later, I used the latest technology to poke (find the lesion) in my stomach with a drill. I didn't expect to get dizzy just after stabbing, and it was the same when I got up to go to the toilet that night. The doctor thought I had high blood pressure and asked me to take antihypertensive drugs, but I vomited blood all over the floor because my esophagus was broken. The doctor quickly opened my chest and esophagus to stop bleeding and see where it was broken.
I was 25 years old. What brought me to this point? Is it a negative attitude? When things come, I feel certain (negative result). 25 to 35 years old, the best decade of life. Rest in Tsinghua 10 years, hospitalization for two or three years. The students we stayed with were all masters and doctors, and I had nothing. It's not my turn to raise my salary, because my sick leave far exceeds the limit of my salary increase. Many people think I will die, or I will be disabled. If I don't, I'm a medicine jar.
But I have suffered too much at the age of 38. What do you think of me now? Isn't it? Good health, good spirit and good career!
All my friends, let's not give up in the most difficult time! How did I come out step by step for more than 30 years? Everything should be quick and timely, mainly the timely rescue of the hospital and the sunshine mentality. I still remember a letter from a classmate of Fudan University, saying, "Let bygones be bygones, the future is a blank sheet of paper for you, and you can redraw it". The other is the parchment I just mentioned. I really found a secret in the first volume of Ten Scrolls that only a few wise people in this world can understand. I've really worked hard at getting used to it, and I'm getting stronger and stronger in all aspects.
Men are indomitable men. Record your feelings on paper and use a book that you can read for a long time. Ten years later, look back at this relationship. Now, most of them are "only in this big mountain." I wish everything goes well and I feel better ~ ~ ~