These lines are as follows:
A: I'm really happy to perform in Tianjin.
B: Very excited.
A: First of all, the two of us wish all the audience good health today.
A and B: Everything went well.
Let me introduce myself first.
Tell me.
A: Just now the host said.
Hmm.
A: This cross talk was jointly said by Cao Yunjin and Liu Yuntian.
B: Hey.
A: My name is Cao Yunjin.
B: That's right.
A: I'm from Tianjin.
Hmm.
A: He is from Tianjin, too.
B: Hey.
His name is Liu Yuntian.
B: Yes.
A: This teacher is amazing.
B: What's the matter?
Answer: Tell me why I cooperate with others, because they must have a teacher with me.
B: Look at what you said.
A: Growing up, I never worshipped anyone.
Really?
A: But in my mind, Mr. Liu is the second greatest man in the world.
B: So what was the first great man in your mind?
A: Ximen Qing Ximen and Jinlian.
No, you wait.
A: That.
Which one? You can't take this.
A: That person's style.
B: OK, OK.
A: How about this?
Can we talk alone? Two people. That's right.
A: You two have the same hobby in this field.
B: It's different.
A: Very personal.
B: Two different things.
I admire you.
Really?
A: Why should we cooperate? Because we have a good relationship.
That's true.
A: How nice it is to be a partner on stage and a friend off stage? I can't describe it in words.
B: Great.
I went to their house that day. You are not at home. Your father is at home alone.
B: Why?
A: Old people have a hobby.
B: What's your hobby?
Good at playing chess.
Good research.
I am playing chess books by myself. I said, never mind, how can I play alone? Come on, let's play together. This game has been set. From 2: 30 pm to 7: 30 pm, I didn't win a game of chess. Finally, someone like me stayed at your father's place. Who can't play?
This is not a draw.
I don't even know how to play chess. I am stupid enough to play like a scholar.
B: it's impossible to get off.
A: Your father wants to twist.
B: How do I get off here?
Traveling to Colombia is like crossing a river. Your father is very bad.
B: Why?
A: As soon as I reached out and fucked an elephant like me, I saw that your father was just like me. You're welcome. I just fucked this gentleman. Look at your father. Your father is just like me. Your father is just like me. Your father is just like me. Your father is just like me. Finally, I got angry. I reached out and fucked the elephant and put it in my pocket. This time, your father can't be like me I can only be your father.
I am your grandfather. Do you talk like this?
A: What's the hurry?
B: Can you relax?
Does that mean playing chess?
B: You have made it very clear.
A: That is to say, Miss Liu plays chess very well.
What is wrong with me?
A: My idol, a great figure, likes to learn from the graduates of Peking University in 2003, and is really a smelly rascal with a diploma.
B: Wait, wait, wait. Are you a college student or a gangster?
A: Do college students have a cultural background? We little actors ask for advice on words we don't understand.
B: study together.
A: I will write in Pinyin whatever Teacher Liu reads, what she reads and what she writes. I know all the languages, such as carved beans and Oracle Bone Inscriptions.
B: Me.
Do you know everyone? If anyone has any words, look them up in the dictionary. Walking in the street, I picked up a piece of paper to see what it said.
Are there any new words?
A: Study hard. There is a sign on the wall of the rural performance. Look at what it says.
Are there any new words?
A: On the day of studying hard, I went to the public toilet to pee and stood up. I'm peeing. I saw a line on the opposite wall. Look up, look up, look up. Look up. Finally, there is a line on the roof.
B: What does it say?
You got your shoes wet, didn't you? Your shoes are all wet. Smart and great man.
I said, you are so rude.
A: Say you have a good personality.
I didn't say that.
A: I'm just kidding. You should be so joking. Everyone is happy. It is not easy for crosstalk performers to learn to sing in four subjects. Let's take this for example. It is impossible to say that there is something wrong with cross talk. Lickitung lisped and said that crosstalk was in trouble. For example, there is a saying that it costs 200 yuan to buy a pig to squeak, drink water, eat beans and throw them outside the wall. Guess what?
B: What?
A: You should be so clear when you die. Every word has to reach your ears. You can't corrupt it.
B: That's very clear.
There is something wrong with my mouth. I can't talk about it Lickitung said it was troublesome.
B: What's it like?
A: Spend 100 yuan to buy a small rent. This, this (pronounced zhei) drink water, rap, rap, eat beans, pick them up and throw them out. Guess what?
Yes, it's not good.
There is something wrong with your mouth. In fact, we should learn languages. Our language on the stage should be civilized and clean, and we can't talk nonsense. We should pay attention not only to the stage, but also to the audience. Otherwise, we will make a joke.
I made a joke.
A: Take last night for example. There are some friends and me at home. There are eight people. I see a lot of people. Don't eat at home, eat out. I found a big restaurant and asked for a big table with everything.
B: Quite a lot.
A: At that time, I ordered a turtle soup, which is turtle soup.
B: Wait a minute.
A: This bastard weighs more than 200 Jin.
B: Have a rest.
A: One meter is eight.
B: Who can compete there? Don't compare with this.
Give me a turtle soup. I quickly picked up the spoon and filled the soup.
B: How about that?
A: What is fresh is really fresh? The waiter at the side praised the soup for being easy, sir. This bastard is a soup drinker. He is responsible for dividing the soup. Don't divide the soup. Do you have any meat? Do you want to say benzene? There are eggs. Divide the eggs, too. After listening to me, let him share the eggs. He spoke again.
What did you say?/Sorry?
A: Excuse me, sir. This egg can't tell you eight people and seven assholes.
B: too talkative.
A: I'm still lying in the hospital with this punch. If you can't talk, you have to joke.
B: That's right.
A: If you say it, you have to study it. There are many things that are difficult to learn, such as flying in the sky, running on the ground, floating in the water, jumping on the grass, buying and selling, shouting at people in various provinces and talking, all within our learning range.
Can you learn all of them?
A: Of course, we should learn everything in the world.
Really?
Let me ask you something. What is the fastest mouth in the world?
B: Speak quickly.
A: It's the fastest.
If you ask me, I would say that this swallow has the fastest mouth.
A: No, toad's mouth is the fastest, Xiaoyan's mouth is slow and toad's mouth is quick.
No, we Xiaoyan talk fast.
No, no, toad speaks quickly.
B: Xiaoyan has a glib tongue.
Answer: If you don't argue, you will have it.
All right, let's stop being melodramatic. How about playing games for a while?
A: How?
Let me tell you something. Let's count dozens, from one to ten, to see who is more talkative.
Count from one to ten to see who speaks fast. You go first.
I can imitate the sound of swallows.
I imitate toads.
B: Listen.
A: You do it.
B: one two three four five six seven eight nine is faster than ten, and one two three four five six seven eight nine is ten.
A: Xiaoyan.
B: Hurry up.
You don't look like Xiaoyan. You look like a roast duck.
Why do you care about this? Swallows talk quickly.
As a toad, listen to me.
B: Twenty-five yuan, plus one hundred yuan.
A: Twenty-five thousand, two thousand, five hundred, two thousand and five thousand. I can count to12.5 million from here.
B: This is for you.
Toads talk quickly.
B: Add the attachments and it's yours.
A: You have to study, learn to speak, learn to laugh, and it is not easy to say cross talk. Laugh or don't laugh. But you see, we don't laugh on stage and off stage, and we are not completely satisfied. We also have troubles in our hearts.
What's the matter with you?
A: Let's take this morning as an example. I was lying at home. I'm usually busy performing. I want to sleep in today. Go to the show at night and lie at home.
Get more rest.
My daughter-in-law is a vicious bitch.
Don't say that.
I woke up at half past eight in the morning. What do you think you should do when you wake up? You're playing me.
What happened to him?
He teased me. Ah, it's time to get up. You can't afford it. You can't afford it. As soon as I heard this, I got angry.
Are you out of your mind?
A: Why are you crazy when you give me a life? I will kick you to death. I seem to remember that I was tired. I seem to remember that I am black. Did I get up? I got up. I got up. I got up. Your grandmother is a grandson (finger B)
Who are you talking about here and here?
A: Scold my wife?
B: Why did you scold your daughter-in-law for coming at me?
A: Do you mind if I scold my daughter-in-law?
B: Scold.
No. Are you in charge?
I don't care. It doesn't matter if you talk too much
A: You asked me, can I get up?
B: If you ask me, you can get up if you want, and sleep if you don't want.
A: My daughter-in-law also said that you can get up if you want, and sleep if you don't want.
No, wait a minute. Who said that?
A: My wife.
B: Why is it the same as what I said?
I caught up with you bit by bit. Don't you think I'll just get up and be done? You are still finding fault with me. I sat there. I am very lucky. I'll get you a cup of tea and drink two cups.
Let you drink some water.
Do you drink? Do you drink? Do you drink? Do you drink? As soon as I heard this, I got angry.
B: It's time to go to the hospital.
A: Don't go crazy when you talk. I will kick you to death. I drink. I seem tired of drinking. I feel like drinking. I don't seem to want to drink Shanxi Wang Zi. I drink, drink, drink, drink. I drink your grandmother's grandson (also called B)
Who do you want to scold?
A: Scold my wife?
Why are you coming at me?
A: Do you mind if I scold my daughter-in-law?
B: Scold it.
Do you want me to drink or not?
B: I want to have a drink or two, but I don't want to leave it there.
A: My daughter-in-law also said that she would like to have a drink or two and put it aside.
B: Please come back later. Who said that?
My wife said so.
B: Why is it the same as what I said?
A: One inch bigger, and I'm finished. I'm still looking for my cigarette. I handed it over again. You smoke a cigarette, smoke a cigarette, smoke a cigarette, smoke a cigarette, I will be angry.
B: Are you going to die or not?
A: Why are you crazy when you talk? I will kick you to death. I smoke. I seem to smoke. I don't seem to want to smoke. I smoke. I smoke.
B: Slap your grandmother's grandson.
A: It makes my face pee.
You are ridiculous.
A: What! Why are you coming at me?
Nonsense, you have attacked me twice.
My wife is in a hurry.
B: Ah.
Tell me I smoke or not! My daughter-in-law ignored me
This is outrageous.
What do you say I smoke or not? ah
B: You can ask later! Let me ask you first. After I finish, is there a daughter-in-law here?
No, I promise not.
If this happens again, I will sit on your ass until you die.
Can I leave you alone?
B: OK.
Do you think I should smoke?
If you ask me! Just smoke two. What did your wife say?
A: My wife didn't say anything. My son is coming. Dad, take a sip! Stop it, stop it, hurry, blush, isn't that funny? Isn't this interesting?
B: Oh! Do you want to give us an example?
A: Yes, give an example for everyone to understand.
That's what I'm saying.
A: That's interesting. It's all shown, and this singing.
B: That's right.
You may not know much about singing.
B: What's the matter?
A: Singing, some people say that our crosstalk performers sing a song, a play, a ditty and a minor. That's not singing, it's learning, learning to sing, real singing, which means that our crosstalk performers sing Taiping lyrics.
Really?
A: Generally speaking, no young actor can learn this thing now!
B: Not many people will.
A: I will lose it soon. Fortunately, I'm still here. I can still sing. I can sing Taiping lyrics and sing the whole paragraph.
B: Oh! You can sing the whole Taiping lyrics.
A: It's just a short paragraph. I can't sing a long paragraph.
B: Well, how about you work hard here today and sing us a Taiping lyric?
A: Thank you for your applause! For all of you, I am here to sell my strength today. I'm here to sing a Taiping lyric and a short Taiping lyric.
B: OK.
Answer: Drink water (referring to the audience)
B: I'll drink it later. Let him sing first. We'll hear it out. Thank you. Thank you.
Answer: Knock melon seeds (referring to the audience)
B: You can call again later. You can wait until he finishes singing Taiping lyrics. Thank you. Thank you.
Answer: Talk (referring to the audience)
Stop it, will you sing or not?
A: It was cloudy yesterday and the Weihe River was cold. The clams above the water are sunbathing on the beach. Semi-suspended clams drop osprey eggs, they lick their wings and drill in proportion. The eagle drills clam meat, which is unbearable. The clams were fanned by the wings of the eagle's mouth, and a fisherman came to the south. One of them came to the shore. He said he was happy, really happy. When he caught the clam, he drank wine. The osprey eggs were exchanged for money, and some osprey were sad about it.
Ok, that would be great.
I can't sing well. I just learned a little.
Good, good, good.
But I can sing. An actor like me is fine. I can speak, learn and laugh. Although I can't speak well and need to improve, I will study hard, but at least I can! Like this, this is missing! (finger b)
No, why did you mention me? Say you?
A: No, I can't sing, and my voice can't! Singing is not allowed, not only can't sing, but also fart is not allowed!
What are you talking about?
A: I can't listen to it. When he sings, it is "Bu". I didn't bully him. Look at his face. This is a dead face. It's a standing Keihachi! I don't want to cooperate with him! Cover your face next time you go on stage.
There is no Cao like you in the world! Don't do this to me. You're pouting, okay?
Did I pout at you?
Do you know that I have to sing this sentence for you today?
I am very excited. I am very excited.
B: If it's not good, it's for you. Let me tell you something! It's such a loss to come up. I've never seen a crosstalk performer like you.
A: People are crazy.
B: it's not crazy. Go over there.
A: No, don't sing, it's terrible!
B: Never mind. It's none of your business.
A: Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
B: Don't make trouble when you hear anything. Listen, I call it Lao Taiping Lyrics.
A: Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ Don't sing too hard.
Susan left Hongtong County and came to the front of this street. He never said that you like others so much. The past gentlemen listened to my words and advised your mother not to cry to avoid the sadness of supporting the elderly. I admire your composure, intelligence and courage. You dare to play tricks in front of the devil. If Chen Zhou hadn't released her little Bao Zheng, Tianqi Temple would have extended the grievances by% @% ×&; (I don't know what I'm talking about) Write Spring and Autumn in blood, hahahaha.
A: (in pain, falling to the ground)
B: I didn't do it.