Being empty inside can't help being familiar with fear. When your heart is empty and sad, the whole person is uncomfortable. When you experience any extreme events in your life, your body's survival mechanism is activated, leading to your psychological freezing mode. Let's look at the empty mind, and we can't help being familiar with fear.
Being empty inside can't help being familiar with fear. 1 Inner emptiness can be carried out through self-regulation or psychotherapy. Self-adjustment is mainly to put things you are interested in on the agenda, increase your sense of control and pleasure, and let yourself play an interest. Psychotherapy mainly improves unreasonable cognition through cognitive behavioral therapy, and finally achieves the purpose of treatment through behavioral relaxation training. It is suggested to communicate with others and participate in some recreational activities to enrich your life.
Feeling empty and uncomfortable may be related to depression and neurasthenia, which can be treated by psychotherapy and oral medication.
1, Depression: Depression may be related to many factors, such as neuroendocrine, neuroimmunology and psychosocial factors. Patients may have anxiety, mental retardation, helplessness and hopelessness, and may also have symptoms such as psychological emptiness, discomfort and listlessness. You can go to the hospital for psychotherapy, talk and communicate with doctors, and take fluoxetine hydrochloride dispersible tablets and paroxetine hydrochloride tablets under the guidance of doctors.
2. Neurasthenia: Neurasthenia is a mental illness caused by long-term tension and high pressure. Patients may feel empty and uncomfortable, easily excited and tired, and may also have symptoms such as decreased muscle strength, slow response and excitement. They can go to the hospital for psychotherapy, and with the professional support of psychologists, they can eliminate their worries. They can also take diazepam tablets and estazolam tablets under the guidance of a doctor.
Usually, you should get enough sleep, don't be overworked, and you can go running outdoors to relieve your nervous mood.
The inner emptiness can't help but be occupied by familiar fears. One or three different sources of production
In fact, the English poet thomas eliot wrote in his work "The Hollow Man", "Life is so long, between longing and spasm, between potential and existence, between essence and decline. Because all you have is "this", so this is the way the world ends, not collapse, but depression. "
This poem depicts people's boring and anxious living conditions. Although it is 1925, it still makes people feel empty. What is this "emptiness"?
Recent studies believe that it is a complex subjective feeling, a vague state that is not easy to be seen and described by others, and belongs to the category of "inner emptiness", which seems as painful as anxiety. It's like a sudden stagnation of self-awareness. What you do and personal development can't be related to all aspects of the network, and you can't feel your real existence. It's like a deep wall separated from the outside world. What you can feel inside is endless lack.
People who are troubled by this often have negative emotions such as boredom, loneliness and isolation. Its output comes from three aspects:
From the perspective of personality, everyone has multiple personalities, and our inner confusion, randomness or contradiction are reconciled after weighing the pros and cons in repeated confrontations. But the problem is that personality is both complete and divided. Why?
The reason is that our inner conflicts do not come from the contradictions and struggles of different parts, but from the failure to "coordinate and organize" different parts of personality in the right way. You know, like a general. Every day, it is necessary to organize various departments with different opinions to reach an understanding, so that there will be no infighting and your main orders will be executed quickly.
However, many people often make huge mistakes when dealing with internal conflicts. When they have two or more different opinions about something to make a decision, they often immediately jump off the referee's bench and try to kill all their opponents except one. This rude way will cause the "white bear effect". The more you want what you want, the more times you think about it, and you will never forget it.
For example, after some people have the idea of resigning, should they leave? Is there a suitable opportunity? What's the environment like outside? Can I get a year-end bonus if I resign? All kinds of distractions make your heart very distorted. Even if you finally decide to stay, your state may not be very good, because you haven't dealt with why you have this idea.
If it stays in your mind for a long time, your daily behavior will also change, just as people around you find your words and deeds inexplicable.
This internal model is the way of doing things for most people, and it can't really achieve self-reconciliation, because these conflicts will become more and more serious after repeated cycles, and then encounter social and health problems. Over time, hidden tendencies will suddenly occupy a dominant position at a certain moment, resulting in disharmonious conflicts.
In the eyes of others, there is a kind of person who looks honest and dull, and sometimes even rejected because of his indifferent personality. In fact, some of these people are "emotionally deficient".
Generally, it is a psychological barrier caused by some social factors. This is not a disease, but a state of life.
According to psychological investigation, people with this characteristic usually show serious inferiority complex, that is, they are not confident and are not good at communicating with others. Even serious people are often pessimistic and world-weary. They are used to locking themselves in a small social space, often accompanied by mania.
Due to various external factors, when we lose the motivation of love (socializing, caring, etc.). ), we will hurt our self-worth, so we often feel sad or depressed. Under the compression of time, it will increase our self-defense consciousness.
As Ralph Gleason, an American psychologist and psychoanalyst, emphasized, when people don't allow certain wishes to exist, they are suppressed until their consciousness forgets their existence.
However, when it is erased again and again, you can only cover it up with a large blank.
This makes it more difficult for me to realize what I want to cover at first, so what I want to do but can't be completed becomes "empty expectation". Those wishes that know that they will fail without trying are bound to be covered up by the white emptiness and flow into the dark river of the subconscious mind. In the long run, emptiness will become your friend.
Many people say that emptiness is because there is no goal. Accurately speaking, people who achieve their goals also have emptiness. Why?
A person's goal may not be what he really wants to achieve, but "social goal" or "team goal" is just like a task, which must be accomplished. Without true love, it won't bring a very fulfilling feeling, will it?
Another kind of people, although they have their own goals, have high expectations. Because it is difficult to finish every time, but he has a compulsive personality that requires him to do it, and his heart will be distorted.
Although I was very happy at the moment after the completion, I can remember that I will do it repeatedly every time in the future, and the sense of gap in my heart will unconsciously rise to the top, followed by a sense of emptiness. The most fundamental factor is that I haven't found the "meaning" of the goal.
What is meaning? Assuming that from my point of view, how much "satisfaction" and "value" I can feel from the current things without deviating from my initial intention and long-term planning is "meaning".
After all, what can be inspired?
Any one of the three elements, inner conflict, lack of emotion and the state of the goal, can make people feel empty, which is the basic condition of composition; But this is only the surface, and the essence of emptiness is actually the loss of "sense of gain".
Second, two important dimensions.
What is a sense of gain? Literally means "get+feel".
It has both material and spiritual aspects. I understand it as: when you look back on one thing, do you feel rewarded and satisfied, and then meet your next wish with great expectation.
On the other hand, many people always like to make a time or work plan to get up early the next day before going to bed, and then put the fragmented time cycle into "games" or "brushing short videos" the next day. So at night, you will feel empty and bored, and there is a sense of powerlessness that hates iron and does not produce steel.
So for those things that can get feedback in a short time, it may be things that are not very important in life (games, shopping, shopping), which will increase their sense of time constraint and have the benefit of cultivating gains.
Those things that need us to persist for a long time, although the feedback period is long, once we persist, we will find great changes to people.
For example, go to bed early and get up early, and slowly you will have a healthy schedule; Just like exercise, you gradually find yourself more motivated than others. What makes people lose their sense of gain? Personally, I think two aspects are more important:
According to Freud's theory of ego, id and superego, whether the daily three "I" can reach a relatively harmonious and unified state is the ability of self-consistency. Wang Yangming, an oriental, once thought that only by combining knowledge with practice can people truly feel happiness and happiness.
Most of these States come from whether I have a clear understanding of myself and whether my mission has been achieved. For example, I know I want to eat a good meal, so I will be happy to learn to cook and cook a hearty meal, right?
There is a key secret formula, which I call:
Self-consistency = ability/desire
When you want to improve your self-consistency, either try to improve your ability or learn to control your desires. Balance between the two is the best state. If your ability is not greater than your desire to act, you will be distorted, and you will try all kinds of clever shortcuts to finish something quickly to reach the expected state, and the final result may not be satisfactory.
So, I want to tell you: if something goes wrong in one of the two aspects, your life and work will be troubled. Most people's abilities are extremely plastic. Through methodology or guidance and deliberate practice, they can become perfect in a certain skill.
However, there are very few people who can manage their desires well, which leads to "insufficient sense of acquisition".
In 20 13, psychologists from Berlin University explored the relationship between nucleus accumbens and Facebook. One of the results confirmed that people's social identity gained in the process of using social platforms will have an effect on the nucleus accumbens in the basal nucleus of the brain, and they will get temporary and indescribable pleasure.
In short, it will be great to bask in life, take selfies and comment on each other on social networks. This is a "state of being needed".
When we greedily gain the recognition of others, we expect that this recognition process will balance our self-doubt, and convince ourselves through the authentication of others, and the sense of existence will rise. People's social attributes determine that we can never get rid of the influence of the people around us, and the social pleasure chain formed is "self-promotion-others' identification-self-identification".
It is also said that we need others' recognition to produce self-identity, and this kind of being needed is also an important factor to enhance our sense of gain.
Suppose that when you are suddenly not needed by others, you will feel the disappearance of your sense of identity, trust and belonging, so that you cannot form positive feedback, which will inevitably lead to self-doubt over time. For example, if you occasionally go behind your back in a department meeting, will you repeatedly think about whether I did something wrong? This will make a person afraid to express himself or fall into depression for a long time because of other people's disapproval, and the following is "emptiness".
In short, the sense of acquisition comes from two aspects: "self-consistency and being needed", and behind this driving force is actually the satisfaction of a certain aspect of material or spirit, so we can find the balance point of body or mind accordingly.
From a purely material point of view, people used to like to contribute their happiness index by "arming to the teeth". In the present era of everything, people pay more attention to improving their sense of gain from the spiritual level, which is the essence. So how do you cultivate your sense of gain from your daily life?
I have seen many people looking for various "methods" to fill it, but they can't solve it fundamentally. The most important thing is to recognize where my emptiness comes from first.
Caitlin Slater, a marriage and family therapist, once said that although everyone has a sense of emptiness, although they have "inner conflicts, goals and emotions" as a whole, everyone may pay different attention to details.
Third, find the empty roundworm.
For example, if you feel empty, maybe it's because you have too much daily social interaction and have no time to think about what your future life will be like. Or do some people's emptiness come from the instability of their career and are not sure about their own development in the enterprise? Of course, there are still some people who come out of "gradually giving up on themselves and no longer listening to their inner expectations and desires" or "wanting to listen to their inner voices", but reality does not allow them to do so.
Therefore, the self-abandonment caused by everyone's emptiness may be unconscious or unintentional, out of the pursuit of perfection or the affirmation of others.
So how to find the key elements of self-emptiness There are three aspects here:
First of all, the human brain has the habit of being lazy. Sometimes the body is doing things, but (thinking) is not necessarily there. Sometimes I think of the past or happy fragments, but I always fall into self-blame or entanglement of some things; Sometimes there is basically no good feeling when imagining the future, and it is inevitable to fall into anxiety with great probability.
This state is called wandering, that is, thinking has no initiative. What you want is relaxation, sometimes stress, and what you want is extra worry.
Might as well compare whether you have this state?
In my opinion, "self-awareness" can effectively find out from which part of the unit I feel empty, because of the memory of the past, or the tension caused by too much pressure?
The opposite state is mindfulness, which can be described as a mode of active control, purposefulness and concentration of the human brain.
Assuming that you are not focused enough, free thinking is one of the factors that lead to emptiness entering the brain, and the "what" that comes to mind in this factor is something that we should be aware of ourselves.
For example: Do I often compare with others? Or am I only concerned about the needs of others and ignoring myself? I'm sad because my loved ones have left? What do I want to prove and win through the behavioral motivation of something?
Find a quiet place to examine yourself carefully, write them down and reply carefully.
Secondly, in the written event list, we should seriously explore what state each imaginary feeling is. What makes me feel empty?
The answer may not be shocking, but you will find yourself feeling "bored, uneasy or curious". If it is difficult to describe feelings, you can also download a more fine-grained list of feelings on the Internet for your reference.
Finally, pay attention to daily self-behavior, which is like reflection, "anti-"focus on looking from the outside, like a bystander to gain insight into yourself.
Drucker, a famous management scientist, has always advocated that the external perspective should jump out in his autobiography The Spectator. It may be difficult to separate yourself from yourself at first, but "with more practice, you will be allowed to pay attention to your feelings in a short time, so that you will become more tolerant and have better tolerance", and you will be able to experience stronger feelings in a longer time.
In short, if we go back and forth among the three, we will find that emptiness is sometimes not caused by superficial factors such as "too little money, too little social interaction and too little affection", but by not knowing what we want?
In other words, in order to get what you want, you desperately pursue it, abandoning too many intangible elements in the process. For example, you are too tired to have time to rest and socialize, and suddenly become silent, feeling that your efforts seem meaningless, so it is directly proportional to your sense of gain.
An empty mind can't help being familiar with fear.
In order to stop this inexplicable emptiness and admit your emotions, you must admit and accept it.
You may not be able to control everything, but you can control your attitude towards things.
Do you feel lonely? Do you feel strangely numb?
If you feel this way, please don't run away and admit that you feel this way, even if it is boring or difficult to touch, so we need to spend some time to deal with this emotion.
Maybe you want to bury your bad feelings or try to ignore them, because you don't want to waste time, you'd rather play games or go shopping.
But the first step in treatment is to sit down and deal with all these feelings, good or bad. All your feelings are useful and important.
two
In the process of reflection and trying to better understand this lingering emptiness, let go of shame and blame.
You may feel ashamed, and you may also feel great self-criticism and guilt while struggling with emptiness.
Emma Lowe, a psychotherapist and writer, pointed out in an article for Psychology Today that numbness is only for better survival in desperate situations, and shame and self-blame will make people more numb.
Although there will be challenges at first, you need to eliminate any self-blame so that you can move forward successfully.
three
Determine the root cause of your emptiness.
Now that you have admitted your emptiness, it's time to understand the root of your feelings.
What's bothering you?
Maybe you feel tired and anxious and need a rest. Maybe you feel lonely because you feel alienated from friends and family, or maybe you feel numb because of the difficulties in your recent life.
No matter what the cause of numbness is, identifying these feelings and finding out their sources will help you move forward, because you already know the real reason for your emptiness.
four
When you feel empty, numb or hopeless, pay attention to and appreciate what you have.
It's easy to overlook the positive factors in life. Take some time to stop, reflect and calculate your little happiness.
What are you grateful for? What makes you want to get up every day? What kept you going in these difficult days?
Maybe you are grateful to have a supportive family or someone to shelter you from the wind and rain.
Maybe you thank your pet for always being with you.
In other words, your body has always been healthy and you have never had any serious illness.
No matter how trivial or unimportant things seem, write them down, write them down or print them out.
In this way, everything you want to be grateful for can be clearly seen, and you can cultivate a positive world outlook to fight against those negative emotions.