01
Sometimes, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts arise in the mindsets of the two generations are not the same, and for many of the older generation, upgraded when the mother-in-law, their own ideas and knowledge of marriage and family, still stuck in the feudal era, a little bit of progress with the times, to figure out the country's marriage law is not aware of it.
It's just a matter of stubbornly believing that a woman who marries into her own family has to belong to her mother-in-law's family. The person who is the mother-in-law is the supreme leader of the daughter-in-law and her master. She is the only one who calls the other person, and the other person must be obedient, and the other person can't make any demands on herself, because their status is not equal, and the daughter-in-law doesn't have that kind of qualification.
Look at Su Mei Yun, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and see what kind of winners and losers they end up with.
Su Mei Yun's mother-in-law has always looked down on her daughter-in-law because of her family's situation, in fact, although she came from the countryside, her own family really does not have much money, her father died early, but also with their own efforts to grow up, and also found a very good job, earn a lot more money than their husbands.
The old man's concepts can't be changed for a while, but it's impossible not to get married. Mei Yun thought that maybe her mother-in-law didn't quite understand their income situation before, but after getting married, as time goes by, she will naturally understand and her attitude will be better. I don't think I've ever thought about it too much, but I'm going to follow the original plan and get married.
02
After the marriage, her mother-in-law lived with the couple, and usually did not care much about the household chores, focusing only on her own life. Playing cards, string, shopping, square dancing, in short, very happy on the line. Mei Yun thought, this is good, she managed their own day, will not have too much time to find her trouble, the two are considered to be in peace.
But not long ago, she gave birth to a daughter, her mother-in-law still does not care, a little rise as a mother-in-law, want to help her son and daughter-in-law with granddaughter's idea is not. Months and the first few months, is the beauty of the clouds to hire a nanny to solve, but after the resumption of work, she has to make money is very busy, really do not have time to bring their daughters. Then discuss with her mother-in-law, willing to pay for her to help with the child, but the old man refused, let her look at their own solution, she has her own life, can not help.
Miyun was already worried about her mother living alone in her hometown, and when she saw that her mother-in-law was not willing to pay, she took her over to help her with the baby and paid her every month.
Not surprisingly, after only two months, her mother-in-law became dissatisfied. Because she felt that her daughter-in-law was using her son's money to subsidize outsiders, she made accusations. The meaning of the words was clear.
03
Mei Yun didn't bother to accommodate the other side anymore, in her opinion, she earned all this money herself, and didn't touch a fraction of her son's. So she was entitled to spend it however she wanted. So she was entitled to spend it however she wanted. And in the beginning it was the mother-in-law herself who was not willing to help with the child, and now to go out and find an aunt also need a six or seven thousand, let her own mother to take care of, she did not feel anything wrong, but also can be more worrying, outside the person may not always be able to do so wholeheartedly.
To her mother-in-law's current thinking, she felt speechless and amused, so she spoke directly to her mother-in-law: "Mother-in-law, this money is my own earned, you are not qualified to control, and besides, when I first proposed that I hope that you come to help bring up the child, the conditions given are the same, it's you who don't come. Now that my mother is taking care of the child, it's only right that I give her money. You don't think it's unfair, if you want to come and help me bring up the child, I will also give you six thousand a month, just so my mother can go back to enjoy her happiness."
Hearing this from her daughter-in-law, her mother-in-law had nothing to say in reply, and at once her face became ashamed and she shut up and walked away.
Mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship has always been the most difficult problem to solve in the family, and whether the mother-in-law has the obligation to bring up the child after giving birth to a child has become a key point of conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The elderly will think that the law does not provide for such an obligation, so they bring their own is the love, not bring is the original. But it is clear from the daughter-in-law's attitude that she has never taken her mother-in-law's need to bring up her granddaughter as an obligation, but rather that she wants to ask for the other's help, and that she will pay enough to do so. It was only after the other party was unwilling and actively refused that she got her mother-in-law to take care of the child, all things explained in advance, and for the mother-in-law to say anything else under these circumstances is unreasonable.
Being a mother-in-law is the first thing you need to understand, a generous daughter-in-law is rare, do not know how to cherish, sooner or later will lose each other's respect for you. And if you want to age well, you usually have to do something to contribute and handle the relationship well.
You do not have the obligation to bring grandchildren, daughter-in-law is not obliged to help you old age, that is the responsibility of the children, for her, but also love. If you want to build a relationship, it's better to treat each other well.