Colleagues were away on business, and local colleagues were hospitable, so they hosted a banquet in a private room in characteristic hotel that night. After a dozen men and women sat down, they kept chatting, and only one person was ordering. After ordering, I ask everyone's
opinion: "The food is ready, do you want to add?"
In this case, in Beijing, we usually ask the young lady to report the names of the dishes she ordered. So a
buddy in Beijing said, "Miss, report."
the young lady gave him a look, but nothing happened.
"Miss, report it!" Dude, it's a little urgent.
Miss's face flushed, but nothing happened.
"what? Let you report that you didn't hear it? " Dude, it's really urgent.
a female colleague hurriedly dozen circle field: "Miss, you should report one by one quickly, ah. ?
The young lady mumbled something and asked, "So, so ... is it okay to hold a woman instead of a man?"
"poof!" A female colleague just drank a big mouthful of tea and sprayed it all on the person in front. A dozen people laughed and made a
group, and the young lady was at a loss.
here we go. let's serve the first one with the face-lift. A big plate of face-lift is served, followed by several dishes of ingredients and sauces. The young lady didn't pay attention when serving, and a drop of sauce spilled on a buddy's pants. That buddy < P > is also deliberately teasing, pretending to be sullen and asking the young lady, "What should I do?"
The young lady said calmly, "Whatever you do."
"what do you suggest?"
"Do what you want?"
"What do you usually do here?"
"Shall I help you?"
"ok."
I saw the young lady quickly pour several dishes of ingredients and sauces on Rapier, with chopsticks in one hand and spoon in the other, and then mix them up with a few brushes. Then he said to the buddy, "Sir, it's ready to eat."
The buddy stared at the plate with his eyeballs for a long time without saying anything, and another colleague said
"thank you" to the lady for him.
here comes the main course-roast leg of lamb, a big plate of meat bones and a plate of salt and pepper. A Beijing buddy loves this
mouth.
He grabbed a leg of lamb unceremoniously, clicked it and ate it. When the young lady saw it, she said,
"Sir, this should be dipped in it."
The buddy looked at the young lady in doubt, and then at the local colleagues. A local colleague said, "It's better to dip in < P >."
The buddy then stood up with a leg of lamb, and clicked again.
Miss hurried over and asked, "Do you need anything, sir?"
"ah? No. "
"Then please sit down and eat."
The buddy muttered and sat down, looked at everyone, lost in thought. Carefully take the leg of lamb to the mouth
and carefully take a bite.
The young lady said, "Sir, you should dip this in."
Buddy jumped to his feet, waved a leg of lamb and shouted angrily, "How can we eat while standing and sitting?"! ？”
the table is full, and the leaders come here.
the full house got up to greet them, and there was a sound of cold greetings.
The waitress next to me is beautiful, new here, inexperienced and quite nervous.
everyone sat down and someone called, "tea, miss!" "
Miss hurried forward and pointed with her finger: "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, * * * seven!"
Everyone laughed, and the leader added, "Pour the tea!"
The young lady hurried to "check backwards" again: "Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, or seven."
someone asked, "What are you counting?"
The young lady hesitated and whispered, "I am a dog."
everyone was angry and shouted, "Call your manager!" When the manager entered, he lowered his hand and smiled and asked, "Ladies and gentlemen, what's the matter with me?"
The leader said, "Don't ask more questions. Go and check the age and zodiac sign of this young lady."
The manager was puzzled and did as he was told. He replied, "18 years old, a dog!"
leaders laugh, and everyone laughs. The leadership is massive and does not pursue it, and it is inconvenient for everyone to pursue it.
Miss and manager are like falling clouds.
After thirty, a dish was served: "Stewed tortoise!"
everyone was happy, but they didn't forget the rules. Some people waved the tortoise head with chopsticks and said, "The leader moves, the leader moves!"
the leader looked at the turtle's head, which was shaken wildly, and was unhappy. He didn't want to reconcile the ending of this statement and didn't want to violate the good wishes of all the people, so he took a spoon and tasted the soup, saying, "Good, good! Please feel free. "
someone said, "Yes-a tortoise should have soup!" The leader was so angry that he almost spat.
after a while, the soup was almost exhausted, and something round came out and asked, "Miss, what is this?"
The young lady answered quickly, "It's a bastard." Everyone was pleasantly surprised: "Leaders eat first, leaders eat first!"
this leader didn't hear the words of "bad luck", so he was very happy and called the young lady, "Give everyone points!"
for a long time, the young lady didn't move, and the leader angrily asked, "Why, can't you tell this clearly?"
The young lady said awkwardly, "There are seven people and six bastards. How can I divide them?"
when everyone listened, they all stared with their necks stretched out, and their mouths were full of delicious food, which was hard to swallow. `
If you smile. Give me a hand. Let others laugh
Once upon a time, a man named A Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, his family cried his name: "Shuang Shuang ... Shuang Shuang ... Shuang Shuang ... Shuang Shuang ..." Then a passerby saw this scene and asked, "What are you happy about?"
Shuang's family suddenly burst into tears: "It's so cool!"
Chief: Hello, comrades!
soldier: hello, chief!
The leader patted a soldier on the chest and said, How well this muscle is trained!
soldier: report to the chief, I am a female soldier.
A gentleman visited a millionaire's house.
servant: "what would you like to drink, sir? Do you want juice, tea, coffee, milk or chocolate drinks? "
sir:" tea, thank you! ! "
Servant:" Sir, do you want green tea, black tea, iced tea or China tea "
Sir:" Give me black tea. "
Servant:" Do you want milk or sugar, sir? "
Sir:" Milk! "
Servant:" Sir, do you want goat's milk, horse's milk or milk "
Sir:" Milk! "
Servant:" Sir, do you want milk from the south or milk from the north "
Sir:" It's better to add sugar "
Servant:" Sir, do you want black syrup or sugar cane "
Sir:" Sugar cane! "
Servant:" Sir, do you want white sugar, rock sugar or yellow sugar "
Sir:" .........., I'd rather have plain water! "
Servant:" Sir, do you want mineral water or boiled water "
Sir:" Mineral water! "
Servant:" Sir, do you want gas or no gas "
Sir:" 555 ... I don't want anything, I just want to go home! ! ! !
A beautiful woman decided to spend a lot of money to slim herself down. After spending more than 1, yuan, she felt very satisfied!
On the way home, at the newsstand, she bought a newspaper and asked her boss, "Excuse me, how old do you think I am?"
the boss said: 32.
She is so happy: 47!
Then, she went to work as a salesman and asked the lady at the counter the same question.
Miss said: I guess 29.
she's so happy: no, it's 47!
In high spirits, she went to the Uni-President Supermarket on the corner to buy a pack of chewing gum, but she couldn't help asking the counter lady there. The young lady said, well, I guess 3.
She is so proud: 47, thank you!
while waiting for the bus, she asked the old man next to her.
the old man said: I am 78 years old, and my eyes are not good. I can't see it. However, there is a way to be sure when you are young. If you let me put my hand into your bra, I can definitely know
your age!
After a long silence and an empty street, she finally couldn't help but wonder: OK! You have a try.
The old man put his hand into her shirt, then into her bra, and began to grope slowly and carefully.
after a few minutes, she said, well, guess how old I am?
The old man squeezed one last time and took out his hand. Say: madam, you are 47 years old.
The beauty was surprised and asked in surprise: Great! How did you know?
"promise not to get angry?"
"don't be angry!"
The old man's answer made the beauty faint:
The old man said: I was standing behind you when McDonald's stood in line
% $% $% @ #! #$& %$##@
Cao Cao and Liu Bei drink to discuss heroes. After a few drinks, Liu Bei suddenly farted, which was very embarrassing. When I was embarrassed, I heard Guan Yu behind me calmly say, "Don't take it amiss, fart comes from the feather (rain)!"
just as Guan Yu's voice fell, Zhao Yun stepped forward and said, "Don't take it amiss, fart comes from the clouds!"
as soon as Zhao Yun had said this, Zhang Fei went on to shout, "Just now, the fart rang, and it flew!"
everyone burst into laughter. Liu Bei has also returned to normal.
Cao Cao didn't laugh. He was deeply touched by it. After seeing Liu Bei and others off, Cao Cao said to his subordinates: "When Liu Bei's subordinates saw the master's mistake, they all rushed to take responsibility and make up for it. It is really loyal. If it's your turn, can you do it? "
All the people were indignant and thought, "It's nothing, what's the difficulty!"
A few days later, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink again. During the dinner, he wanted to fart and see how his men reacted. Suppressed along while, finally hard to suppress a Xiao Pi. Everyone has been waiting for a long time. When they heard a "goo", the general Xu Chu quickly shouted first: "The fart was put by Chu (pig)!"
Wang Lang, the waiter, said, "Lang (Wolf) farted!"
When Cao Cao stared, others thought that Cao Cao thought he was too slow, and they all rushed to take it on himself. Xiahou Dun contended, "What a fart!"
"no!" Xu Huang heard a loud retort, "Fart is shaking out!"
Xun You said, "You (You) came to fart!"
Man Chong said, "Fart is a pet!"
Jiang Ji said, "Fart comes from economy!"
Guo Tu said, "Fart comes from a picture!"
Zhong You said, "Fart comes from shaking!"
Then ...
Jin Niu: "Fart is gold!"
Cao Hong: "Fart is red!"
Zhang Nan: "Fart is south (blue)!"
...........
Cao Cao was already flushed and was about to get angry.
Guo Jia, the counselor, shouted, "None of them are right, none of them are right! Everyone is wrong! " ..... deserves to be my number one strategist. Cao Cao secretly thought.
Guo Jia went on to say, "The fart came from Jia (clip)!"
Liu Bei and others have been laughing ...
Cao Cao fainted with anger
A man saw a store sale and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man had been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refused to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before he bought the dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time. As a result, he still had to go home and bring the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole in it and found the salesman. "What do you want?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know." The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? It's sticky." "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."
Once upon a time, there was a horse. Just say "My God" to it, and it would run at a speed of thousands of miles. But all you have to do is say "My God" to it and it will suddenly stop. A businessman bought it, rode on horseback and said, "Oh, my God", and the horse started flying. Before long, the businessman suddenly saw a precipice ahead and wanted to stop the swift horse immediately, but he forgot the password to stop the horse, "My land, my ancestors ...", that is, he forgot "My God". At the critical moment, he finally said "My God". The horse stopped only a few centimeters away from the fall. The businessman sighed and said with emotion "My God!" ……