First, how to answer being urged to get married
When being urged to get married, we can use clever ways to respond, not only to avoid chatter and whining, but also to avoid the embarrassment of a direct rejection.
1, anti-client, disrupt the other side of the line
When asked about the marriage situation first care about the other side of the situation, ? Auntie, when will the first cousin get married ah second cousin when to have a child ah uncle a few years salary promotion it, how much did the salary increase it you square dance how it, "Little Apple" dance steps learned? The other side either poked the pain no chatting interest, or immersed in their own personal life forget about your existence.
2, bitter meat trick
A talk of marriage to do grief, such as the sister-in-law as described the last relationship of the misery, the best plus? I don't believe in love anymore. My heart still hurts ah, how to do I'm not ready to start the next relationship? And other lines, the elders see you touching the heart of pity, will stop the topic, and then mention it again after a while.
3, the beauty of the scheme, the pampering no limit (not applicable to boys)
blinking watery eyes looking at each other's face:? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. I still want to stay with my mom and dad for a few more years!
4. To be prepared for the enemy
Answer with a confident face: "I'm thinking about it, but I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm thinking about it, so don't worry about it. To not be nagged by the parents of the marriage, it is best to put on a look of confidence, so that people feel that you have found a good way back, all the best. But in order to prevent your parents from asking you to go through with it, you need to do some other preparations, such as faking a non-existent boyfriend's image and information, and making it all up in a seamless manner.
Second, the marriage is urged to do
1, do not have a home not to return
Many people in the face of parental urgency, will choose to have a home not to return to the phone perfunctorily, to save listening to their parents nagging. However, this is not the fundamental solution, and the parents are also out of good intentions, this approach may have some effect, but hurt is your parents heart.
2, change the topic
Parents often take the opportunity to call or chat with you about getting married and finding a partner. You can choose to change the topic and divert their attention easily. Seeing that you've changed the subject, they will also be able to restrain themselves.
3. Tell them what you think
If you are busy with your career, or you don't really want to find a boyfriend/girlfriend now, or you have other factors, I think you can tell them what you think directly, and I believe they will understand you.
4. Make a plan for yourself and give them a guarantee
You can think about what you are going to do according to your actual situation, and then tell them when you are going to look for a man/girlfriend. If your plan is reasonable, they will not force, then you can easily get rid of their urge to marry.
5, try
If you are also interested in finding a man/girlfriend, you can also take this opportunity, by your parents to provide you with the object of the blind date, may also be able to find in the blind date in the eyes of their own people? If the dating object is not suitable, it is also considered to know a friend!
6, in order to retreat into
Third, marriage is love or harm
True, the old saying that? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots. Such traditional views continue to this day and deep-rooted, subtle influence on people's values, but at the same time there is an extreme problem:? filial piety? Become a weapon of moral abduction,? Born and raised you? has become a seemingly inexcusable reason to dictate the pace of life. The so-called? Customs? Tradition? inadvertently stifles any discussion of multiculturalism with multiple viewpoints.
? Your grandpa is old, the old man in his lifetime would like to hold great-grandchildren, even such a desire can not be satisfied? You now think you are still young to say what is still early still early, you do not find a partner to die alone to see how you do how to get married how good ah, there is a person to take care of you. Such words are forced marriage? Classic lines? , so that people feel morally abducted but are powerless to refute.
Each person is an independent individual, we have no obligation and no need to sacrifice themselves to fulfill the so-called wishes of others. Why do you use the word "sacrifice" here? Sacrifice? The word "sacrifice" is used here. In the view of many elders, marriage means mutual support and care, family success and happiness, is it all true? Whether marriage is a good thing or not depends on whether the person you are with is a good person or not, Robin Williams once said. Robin Williams once said? The worst thing in the world is not to die alone. The worst thing in the world is not to grow old alone, but to grow old with the person who makes you feel alone. Getting married isn? It's not a simple matter of returning an item you're not satisfied with. This is a simple thing, the responsibility and emotion after marriage, the pain and suffering of life, is the wedding people can not empathize with. The warmth of the cold is known by itself. The truth is, you can't know what it's like to be in the cold. Holding grandchildren? It's not just a small wish. It is not just a small wish. Because removing the happiness of both sides of the marriage, but also affects another small life, but we are not breeding machines.
? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. And it's good, too. Love? Also, undoubtedly are very good words, but when they become a substitute? Because I love you, you have to be such a prayer sentence to support the reason, has long become a hurtful weapon. So there? Rent a girlfriend to go home for the New Year? The deformed culture of renting a girlfriend for New Year's Eve is the reason why there is a culture of buying and selling daughters-in-law. The sale of daughters-in-law? The illegal trade. The power of custom is stubborn and frightening, it is deep-rooted, it is rightful, it is embraced by thousands, and anyone who wants to say no to it will be forced to do so. No? Anyone who tries to say no to it will be eliminated reasonably and ruthlessly, and will be reduced to the world's eyes as a very dishonorable bachelor, single dog, which is ridiculous to say, but it is? Single? It's ridiculous to say that it's just a single person, can't even be a human being anymore? This kind of? Love? filial piety? The nature has long been changed, lost the original beautiful nature.
In addition to the real concern of parents and friends, those? The crowd of onlookers? More than that, they spared no effort to push the envelope, without their own lives, and relish the fact that they are not the only ones who have been in the same situation. The other family's who? But such spectators, and what is the position of other people's lives to point the finger? Naturally, there is no reason to change the rhythm of life and choice of others.
However, not getting married is not an excuse to avoid family responsibilities, and even less of a reason to be free and easy. Before having your own family, instead of choosing to wait it is better to evolve, to evolve into a person who can take care of himself as well as caring for others, to become a person who can provide for himself as well as nurturing future generations, to become a person who is ? ready for another kind of happiness? rather than a person who panics and rushes to get married in order to fulfill the wishes of others and ends up at a loss? older child?
When a person whether to get married to become a measure of happiness, when 80, 90 after the face in the name of love in the name of marriage and frantic collapse, can not help but cause to think, our lives have been quantified to such a material goal on it? What about the inner feelings? So does the spiritual world of the subject of this rush need attention?
Tolerating the different choices of others is one of the most important things that society needs, in the extreme? The most important thing is to be able to make sure that you are not forced to do so. and the lack of care? indifference? Between the extremes of persecution and indifference, there is free love, a love that honors the rhythms of each life and the way they choose to be happy.