There is a strange phenomenon in the world, that is, single middle-aged and elderly men, whether divorced or widowed, whether they get a marriage certificate or not, will soon find themselves a female companion. In short, there must be women around them.
Single middle-aged and elderly women are the opposite. After widowhood or divorce, they are often in no hurry to find a second wife for themselves. They can be single for a long time, or even choose to be single until they are old.
There are various speculations about this phenomenon: some people say that women don't remarry because they are too demanding of second marriage; It is also said that the reason why women don't remarry is to escape married life and like the freedom of being single.
So, why do middle-aged and elderly women choose single life? What kind of experience is it for women to spend their old age alone? Are they happy in their single life in their later years? Listen to the hearts of three single women.
Ms. Chen:
I am 60 years old this year. My husband was killed in an accident ten years ago. I lived alone for ten years. I am used to single life and don't want to make any changes.
My late husband was very kind to me before his death, and I can't erase him from my heart in my life. I fell in love with him freely. At that time, I was an ordinary girl. I have an average appearance, an average job and an average family condition.
The husband's family is a family, and a son and a daughter born to her mother-in-law are very promising. After graduating from college, my late husband went to work in a scientific research unit and became a technician. Millet is a teacher, which is a respected profession.
When I fell in love with my late husband, I was just a shop assistant. In the eyes of my parents-in-law, my job is very humble. They think that the work of shop assistants has no gold content and no future, so they are very opposed to my late husband's association with me, saying that if my late husband marries me, it will insult their family style.
My late husband loved me very much at that time, and he said that no matter how much I opposed it, he would never give up on me. He said that although I am ordinary, he just likes ordinary me and my simplicity.
Later, my parents-in-law saw that she couldn't beat her dead husband and reluctantly agreed to our marriage. But because they didn't like me, they didn't give me any property, and even the bride price for my family was my late husband's own savings.
We have been living in my in-laws since we got married. My in-laws don't like me, so naturally they won't give me a good look. I live in my parents-in-law's house and live carefully every day. I am afraid that if I am not careful, I will make them unhappy.
My husband sympathized with my difficulties and took on a lot of private work after work. He worked overtime every day to make money, and finally saved enough down payment to buy a house and moved out of his in-laws house.
As we live alone, my late husband asked me to quit my job and concentrate on teaching my children at home. He pays me old-age insurance every month, saying that I have a pension, and even if one day he is gone, I can live a good life.
What my late husband said boils down to one word. At the age of 58, he died in a car accident. We originally planned to buy an RV for road trip when he retired two years later, but it turned out to be an unfulfilled wish.
The death of my late husband brought me a great blow. In the past ten years, although many people have given me matchmaking, I have refused them one by one. I don't think anyone in my life can surpass my late husband's kindness to me. In that case, I might as well live alone.
I miss my late husband every day. Even though he has been dead for ten years, his voice and smile still appear clearly in my mind, as if he were still with me.
I think women are different from men, and men are more rational. Even if he loves another woman, once he loses it, he will find it again. On the other hand, women are different. If she loses the man she loves more, she will be immersed in the good memories of the past and find it hard to accept a new man.
Ms. Wei:
I am 55 years old, and my ex-husband and I have been divorced for five years. During these five years, although many people advised me to find another mistress, saying that I had no money and wanted to rent a house, if I found a mistress with a better economic situation, the economic pressure would be alleviated.
Although I also want to find a second wife who is kind to me, I can live a better life with him, stop fighting for a little money, have food and clothing all day, and experience a life without money.
But I still can't make up my mind to remarry, let alone put it into action. Because my ex-husband hurt me too much, I am afraid of getting married now. I'm afraid that if I accidentally find a man with the same moral character as my ex-husband, my life will be doomed.
My ex-husband is a domestic violence man. Every day he doesn't hit me. No matter how well I do, I can't escape his fist. My father-in-law is also a domestic violence man, and my mother-in-law is in his life. Later, she died of cancer.
My father-in-law later found a second wife. He had been with his second wife for less than a month when he became ill. He beat his second wife so hard that she couldn't get out of bed. Later, her son got the news and took her back to his home.
After the mother-in-law is beaten, it is naturally impossible to continue living with her father-in-law. My father-in-law just married her for a month. Where is she willing to let go? Mother-in-law's son personally came forward and took her father-in-law to go through the divorce formalities, and her mother-in-law finally took off the bill.
I'm not as lucky as my stepmother, and I can get away smoothly. My parents only gave birth to my only daughter. They are honest themselves and can't beat their ruthless and scheming ex-husbands.
Although my parents feel sorry for the sufferings of my ex-husband and me, there is nothing they can do. They can't give me any help except tears of sympathy. My son was still very young at that time. Although every time my ex-husband hits me, his eyes are full of hatred, but he is very weak and can only watch me silently bear it.
Later, when my son became an adult, I was finally able to compete with him, and I was able to divorce smoothly under my son's protection, so I no longer needed to live in fear.
Although I chose to leave home clean when I divorced, I was still very happy. Even living a poor life is far better than being beaten every day. After the divorce, I rented a single room for myself, and I rented 800 yuan every month.
At that time, my pension was only 3,000 yuan. Excluding the rent in 800 yuan, I only had 2,000 yuan for living expenses. I live frugally every day. I only eat meat and vegetables once a week. In order to save money, I never buy clothes, and I only use cheaper dabao for skin care products.
Although I am looking forward to finding a man in my heart, let him help me get rid of the life of renting a house, become popular with him and live a good life. But I'm afraid that my life will be ruined as soon as I leave my study and enter it again.
Therefore, I can't make up my mind to find a second wife for a long time. Although I am poor now, I feel more at ease. With my present state of mind, it is difficult for me to get out of the shadow of my first marriage failure, so I will probably die alone.
I have planned that if I can't change my fear of men, I will live in peace. Although I can't afford a house, I can save more money. When I am too old to move, I will go to a nursing home for the elderly, which is an account of my life.
Ms. Sun:
Since my ex-husband and I divorced, I finally realized the beauty of living alone. I used to be so busy every day that there were a lot of people waiting for me to serve.
After I am busy with my children and husband, I will make time to take care of my in-laws who are in poor health. Even though I did all the good things, they took it for granted. When I slack off a little, there will be a lot of accusations coming at me.
Before the divorce, all three of us lived with our in-laws, not because we didn't have a house, but because our in-laws asked us to live with them. My parents-in-law said that she was in poor health and could not cook. Let's live with them. We can cook for them.
I don't want to live with my parents-in-law, because I know the difficulties of mother-in-law relationship. I asked my parents-in-law to pay for a live-in nanny. If they don't have enough money, I can make up for it. In-laws are firmly opposed to hiring a nanny, saying that they have care. Why waste money on a nanny?
My ex-husband also supported my in-laws' opinion, saying that I just cooked one more bite of rice every day. How hard can it be? Because my ex-husband insisted, I had to listen to his decision and move to my in-laws to take care of them.
I don't want this to affect our relationship. I know my husband is a dutiful son. If I insist on not taking care of my in-laws, he is my enemy.
Since I moved to my in-laws' house, I have lived a trivial life. I'm so busy after work every day. I want to cook for five people, and I need to match color, fragrance and shape, otherwise my family will complain that I am not careful in cooking.
I have to wash the dishes and tidy up the house after they have finished eating, otherwise my in-laws will think my daughter-in-law is too lazy and the house is in a mess, and I don't know how to tidy up. After all this, I have to wash the clothes of a large family. When I finished everything, they were already asleep.
I lived like this for five years. Although I am so tired every day, I still insist on it, hoping to exchange my efforts for family harmony and peace.
It was not until the year of retirement that I completely exposed myself and resolutely filed for divorce with my ex-husband. The cause of the incident is that after I retired, I finally had a lot of time to arrange my own affairs calmly.
My sisters and I have already planned to go to the square to exercise and dance every morning and evening and travel once a month, so that we can enjoy our retirement happily together.
All my plans were ruined by my in-laws. They said I didn't do my job well. I am a woman, and I didn't stay at home to take care of my family after retirement. What a scandal!
I finally retired. I didn't walk around when I was still in good health. I was afraid that I would regret it when I was old, so I went my own way and arranged my retirement as planned.
I am not at home except for those days when I travel abroad every month. I usually cook three meals a day and arrange all the housework. Even when I travel for a few days, I will wrap all kinds of fillings in jiaozi, enough for them to eat for a few days, and jiaozi will cook it himself, which is no trouble at all.
But even so, my in-laws are very determined to me. They called me unfilial, ignored them when I was sick, and just wanted to go out and play by myself.
Although my in-laws are inconvenient to move, they can take care of themselves. I think they are simply exaggerating the facts, which is moral in my opinion. The most hateful thing is that they persuaded my ex-husband to turn against me and blame me with them.
In this case, it is unnecessary for me to stay in this house. I resolutely filed for divorce with my ex-husband and left a house. The house was originally bought with my provident fund. To be fair, I gave up all my savings at home and broke up with my ex-husband peacefully.
After our divorce, my ex-husband threatened everywhere that I would regret it and would cry and beg for a divorce. I don't know where he got his confidence. I only know that since my divorce, I have found single life so wonderful.
I will never dwell on endless housework again. I can arrange my daily life freely. I don't need to look at the faces of men and in-laws. I am very happy every day.
I will never choose to remarry in my life, because as long as I live with a man, I will go back to my old life. I have endless housework waiting for me every day, and I have to look at the man's face from time to time. I enjoy a comfortable life very much and will never change.
Conclusion:
Now, the tolerance for women's remarriage has been greatly improved. If a woman is divorced and widowed, if she has the will to remarry, she can remarry boldly, and others will not show special respect to the remarried woman.
However, through investigation, it is found that the probability of women remarrying is much lower than that of men. The reason for this is not that women are not allowed to remarry, but that women make their own choices.
For women, even if they are eager to find a single man who loves and tolerates themselves to remarry, they often have too many delicate concerns.
Men can enter the next marriage with a try mentality. Women will be more timid, afraid of remarriage failure, afraid of wolves before the meeting, afraid of tigers later, so they will have scruples
Middle-aged and elderly women have lost their dependence on men, both economically and spiritually. They don't have to be accompanied by men to survive. What they are after is a comfortable and stable life. In this way, they will not regard remarriage as so important, and will live more calmly according to their own wishes.
I'm @ Yaya Yaya, thank you for reading and. Let's read men together, read women together, and open the life password together, updated daily.
The above is the situation of the rabbit girl in her later years in 1963, which is about the sharing of marriage. I watched the performance of a rabbit girl in bed. I hope this will help everyone!