For most parents, they don't want their daughters to marry men from poor families, mainly because they are afraid that their daughters will suffer in such families.
Especially nowadays, the vast majority of parents are in favor of raising their daughters richly, so of course they don't want their children to go to the man's home to endure the pain of poverty.
So some parents like to get involved in interfering with their children's relationships. In their opinion, the reason why they do so is not to harm their daughter, but for her own good.
We don't know how much parents do in the name of their children's good, but one thing is for sure, those parents who think they are doing all this are actually doing it for their own good.
There is no such thing as a "good-for-you" event in this world, because relationships are never about "what you want to give to the other person, but what she wants. If you can't give to each other's heart, then it's better not to give.
Because once you give out, you will have expectations for the relationship, but if you finally receive the feedback and your heart expectations are not the same, it is easy to produce disappointment.
01.
Auntie Wang is from the same village as me, 56 years old, was an accountant before, and then because of the health reasons early to do the internal retirement. Since her retirement, Auntie Wang has been active in the square dance, and my mom also likes to dance, so there have been a lot of interactions between them.
Auntie Wang is not a local, she married from abroad when she was young, and because she doesn't speak the dialect, we rarely interacted with each other even though we were in the same village.
Wang and her husband have been married for 30 years, and their eldest daughter, Shiao Shiao, is 29 years old and has never been married. At this age, she is already an older woman in our village, so you can imagine how much Wang worries about her daughter's marriage.
At first, I didn't know that Shinya had a boyfriend, because I heard Auntie Wang say that her daughter had never been in love, and said that she only knew how to read, didn't know how to fall in love, and that she might have been stupid to read.
The first time I heard someone describe their woman this way, I was actually a little surprised, but then I learned about Auntie Wang's family, and instead I thought it was normal.
Since Auntie Wang's mother's family is very poor, and she is from out of town, so even if she is married to Shin Shin's father, she still can't get her mother-in-law's attention. In dealing with the issue of her daughter's marriage, Auntie Wang said that she has a little requirement, that is: the other family must not be poor.
I asked her how she felt about being poor. She thought for a while and told me, at least there must be a house and a car, to get the bride price, right? I also asked her if she married her daughter, how much dowry will be given? After hearing my question, she was obviously shocked, perhaps in her view, marrying a daughter does not need a dowry, only marrying a daughter-in-law to give people a dowry.
02.
Auntie Wang also has a son, Yangyang, who is three years younger than Shinya and of marriageable age. However, Yangyang has a girlfriend, and the woman's family is not bad, so Auntie Wang did not say anything.
However, when faced with her daughter Shinya, Wang's attitude was different. Shinya has a boyfriend in fact, Auntie Wang also knows, only the man's family situation she can not see, so does not recognize their romantic relationship.
In the words of Auntie Wang, "Love is fine, but marriage is not". Shin Shin and her boyfriend had been talking for almost three years, and finally her parents were urging her to get married, and Shin Shin's mother didn't agree with her and didn't give her a positive attitude, so her boyfriend and Shin Shin finally broke up.
When she learned that her daughter had broken up with him, Auntie Wang was not worried but happy, and she promised her daughter that she would find a good boy for her.
So Auntie Wang began to put the word out for her daughter to go on a blind date.
Since Shinny is not bad looking, and her abilities are good, there were many people who came to introduce her. Auntie Wang is not in a hurry, in order to save time, she will first screen some, pick out the excellent conditions of the boys, and then let her daughter to meet.
Because her ex-boyfriend's quick marriage to someone else was a blow to Shinoa, it didn't matter to her who she married since it was like that, so she ended up picking one of the boys with the best material conditions to get married on Auntie Wang's advice.
On the day of the wedding, the man held a wedding banquet in a five-star hotel, inviting 40 tables of guests, and the other family also gave them a 300,000 dowry, which made Auntie Wang feel very dignified, smiling throughout.
Originally, Auntie Wang thought that her daughter had married a man who was not bad, and that she would not suffer after marriage. However, the marriage is not yet two months, once she went to visit her daughter, but found that she looked very bad, the whole person depressed, seems to be very unhappy, but more let her angry, she actually found bruises on her daughter.
After Wang Auntie's questioning, her daughter told her, don't look at each other in front of people is very normal, in fact, close the door is a man with a tendency to domestic violence, may be afraid of being known by others, so every time they do not hit the face, specifically pick invisible places to hit, such as back or legs and so on.
At this point, Auntie Wang came to her senses and realized that opposing her daughter's marriage to the person she likes is one of the most wrong things she has done in her life.
Parents are dedicated to their children, something we have no doubt about, but for parents, when you think of your daughter, don't just look at the whole thing in a one-sided way.
Particularly for the children's marriage, as a parent, you can make suggestions, but can not interfere, not to mention can not make decisions for the child. Marriage is personal, after all, and even parents don't get to make feelings for their children.
Besides, since everyone has become an adult, he or she should have the ability to look at people and make judgments.
For the parents, what you need to do is just for the children to check, see clearly the other person's character, not because of the money, and some "poor love rich" obsession, and destroy the child should have the happiness.
A truly happy marriage is not determined by money, and I hope everyone will keep this in mind.