Ordinary father's first letter to his children: life's shortcuts

This is the first letter written in 2021, 2020

Written to you siblings, because of my procrastination attack, resulting in only now began to write, of course, things are more than an excuse, and did not manage time effectively is my self-control problems, I will try to correct in the 21st year.

This is the first one, and I hope to write one a year and stick to it. It's written to you guys as well as my year of self-summarization and introspection.

The original purpose of writing this letter is to tell you my life experience and lessons learned, face-to-face communication is not as clear and systematic as words. The communication between words is often poorly expressed, and you may even get carried away and forget what you originally intended to say. In addition, I also hope you can feel my growth path, compared to your life, to this stage of life whether there are similar feelings.

For me, the 17th and 20th years of your siblings' lives are quite unforgettable, especially the 20th year of the global outbreak of the new coronary pneumonia, which, to put it in a larger sense, turned the world landscape upside down. To a lesser extent, it y affected the life and work of each of us, and perhaps it was only by being there that we could feel the tension of being born in the midst of it. Sugar was born in this year, and now I look back and see that the birth went well, but at that time we were still experiencing a variety of complex emotions, my sister was found to have a lung infection as soon as she was born, and after a mouthful of breast milk, she was admitted to the neonatal emergency ward, where she was monitored by the nurses and doctors around the clock, and for the first time, I signed a critical care notice, and although the doctors comforted me by saying that it was a normal process, it was a real thrill to compare it to your brother's birth. It was beyond thrilling. At that time, I didn't talk to your mother, because she had just given birth, physical strain is very fortunate, I don't want her to worry too much, of course, she is also very optimistic, she has always believed that your sister is fine. Then your sister was alone in the hospital for most of the month, we finally picked you up and brought you home, and at first I was worried that I might have carried you by mistake, because we had only met you once, but looking at you and your brother looking more and more alike, it was obvious that I was also overly worried.

The 20-year period got off to a rocky start with the epidemic breaking out first in China, and after the Chinese New Year, it kicked off a pattern of the whole country sitting at home for the rest of the month. Basically, we couldn't go out, except for the supermarkets were open, all the others were closed, we stayed at home every day, wide-eyed, and occasionally went to the supermarket in full armor, which became the most joyful activity of the whole family during that time. In addition, our business will not be able to do, logistics do not work not to mention, our company is located in the park is also closed, the various departments concerned is also prohibited to open, and then open are required to local community approval, the beginning of the first often go to sneak shipments to deal with the problem. Do not start means no income, and the expenditure can not be reduced at all, rent and staff wages as always have to pay. In addition, because our performance before 19 years began to decline, and did not find a clear direction, marketing costs eat most of our profits, 20 years is still in the early stages of business transformation, the beginning of the year came to such a place, all have a kind of transformation plan to be dead in the womb feeling. Everything is going to be cool in the opening 。。。。

However, self-help people God help, 2020 is not so difficult than imagined! Now looking back, 20 years I am very thankful for 17 years of their own. 17 years, I was for the market downturn in the increasingly fierce competition deep anxiety, at that time, very confused, can be used to describe the inner torment, because e-commerce mode and rules have been changing, as Jack Ma said, the only constant is that it has been changing, I keep learning about the rules of the platform and marketing skills, has been keeping up with the times! I keep learning about the platform rules and marketing skills, always keep up with the times, but everything makes me physically and mentally exhausted. When a lot of efforts are still being competitors stole a lot of market share, every day I can see the data related to the loss of customers, this helplessness and anxiety makes me very painful. Because I can't control my own destiny, I can't get out of the situation even though I seem to be working very hard, and I can't find other people to help me, although my family will encourage me, but they can't give me any substantial advice, and even the pressure comes from the concern of my closest relatives.

In the beginning, I used my physical hard work to cover up my mental laziness, and I was busy organizing the warehouse every day, hoping to hide the fact that I had been working for a long time. Such days lasted a few months, until looking at the data of the decline in sales are numb, in this period also intermittent resistance, but things are like this, do all the right things, pay a lot of effort, the results still can not be changed. Still lost, and even though I can pretend to try to paralyze myself, the stress of declining income and debt isn't likely to lie with me.

Everything is for the best

Still, thanks to this crisis and setback, let me begin to reflect after a long silence, I began to really think. What is the essence of business? Effort is right, but where is the direction? Why was I anxious and miserable and so overwhelmed? My summary is: 1. My knowledge base is not enough for me to face such a so-called crisis, deep in it because there is not enough ability. 2. The pattern is not enough, the direction of my efforts is problematic, spend too much energy in the study of the platform rules and search algorithms above, and these contents can not be done to accumulate, that is, as soon as the platform changes the rules, most of the efforts I have done before are in vain, and the reality is that the e-commerce platform is changed several times a year, and I am exhausted. The reality is that the e-commerce platform changes a few times a year, and I'm exhausted.3. I'm y anxious because I'm not confident in the future development, mainly because the income structure is too single, the fluctuation of sales affects the state of mind, but the market fluctuation is a perfectly normal phenomenon.

Your grandfather and I said a phrase, the problem is written down has been solved a large part of the problem, then how to solve these problems? It's simple, or at least it's simple now looking back, and if someone had pointed me in the right direction at the time, I probably would have spent less time in a daze. The way is to improve your cognition, and frankly, to learn, by reading and thinking.

Lifelong learning

Human civilization opened from the text, because the text records a lot of experience, and these experiences are passed on through the form of words, so that one generation knows more than one generation also more advanced. In the feudal era of farming, people could gain a lifetime of experience from their fathers, and the experience of their elders would serve them for most of their lives, having encountered most of the things they had encountered. After the founding of New China, the experience of fathers and mothers could be used for decades, and they could work in factories or enter the system to make a living, and they would have no worries about food and clothing for the rest of their lives. But in the Internet era of our generation, it is already difficult to get relevant professional experience from our parents, because everything is changing too fast. When I was a kid, people asked me what my parents did for a living, and I was especially proud of them: my father was from the Finance Bureau, and my mother was from the Telecommunications Bureau. Other people were envious, the family was so well off. In those days, my grandparents' jobs were among the envy of others, firstly because of their hard work, and secondly because of luck. Then I could hardly get their professional experience, unless I also enter the category they once worked. But there are still lessons to be learned about dealing with people and about life in general.

Then, reading is the most direct and effective way to get experience and wisdom, and reading is the shortcut to life! The original me, do not love to read, even do not love to learn, most of the time are forced to learn. I believe in the theory of the uselessness of reading, now I think it is ridiculous, just to find a theoretical basis for their own laziness. Whenever I read a book, I get sleepy, and basically no book can be read in its entirety.

The solution to the problem is to improve cognition, is to read, but the new problem is how to read? At the beginning I started with how to read this type of book, first learn to read, solved the problem of reading efficiency. As the saying goes, sharpening the knife is not a good idea. Here to share a few reading tips

1. First choose your favorite book to start, what book can be, even if it is a novel can help you improve reading speed, and the process of reading is the process of thinking.

2. If you can't finish the book, put it down and change it. Don't get hung up on the idea that the last book hasn't been read yet, so how can I read the next one? And then the vicious cycle of not being interested in reading the last book and not being able to start the next one. If you're not interested in a book, you can pass it by, or pick a chapter you're interested in and read it. It's important to maintain your interest

3. My approach is to pick books that have passed the test of time, books that are famous or that have been in circulation for many years, because these books have withstood the scrutiny of time and logic and still exist, and existence is reasonable. The other thing is to look at the author's biography. In general, books written by a person who has reached a certain level of achievement in a certain field are of great experiential value. History and biographies are highly recommended, as you will find that successful lives are lives of constant learning and hard work, and their experiences are much the same, which is very instructive when compared to your own life.

Once you start the habit of reading, you will find that it is a whole new world, you can hardly believe that although we are all living on the same planet, but the people who read and those who don't are really two worlds, the world of the readers is so wonderful and dazzling.

I started to develop the habit of reading in 17 years, and I don't think it's too much to say that I've been transformed. At first I read marketing books, hoping to improve sales through marketing skills. Slowly I realized that I made a mistake in the essence of my business, the essence of business is to help others solve their problems, others need the products and services you provide is a business, however, every day I was dead set on competitors and forgot that I should pay more attention to the customer's feelings, which belongs to the end of the abandonment of the root. Now I pay more attention to the customers themselves, and not too much attention to the competition. There's a saying I like so much, I put it on the wall of my company: Everything is customer-centered, everything else comes in its wake. It's about business, but the philosophy is worth recalling.

At that time, my mom was pregnant with Tang Yuan, we walked to Phoenix Cultural Square every day, read books in the bookstore for more than an hour, see the closing door to go home, once encountered the rain, she was holding a big belly and I ran home at a fast pace, and then after the day is cold, my mother's belly is getting bigger and bigger can only be at home on the treadmill walking slowly, going up and down the stairs is not very convenient, and even more wildly can not afford to go home, I hope that in the future, my family of four will be able to repeat the same thing. I hope that in the future, we will be able to relive the scene again as a family of four.

I was most interested in books on finance and business, and most of my worries stemmed from unstable income. The only way to solve your worries is to get rich! Naturally, the books on financial literacy led to books on investing, stocks, funds, bonds and other financial investments. Thankfully, I used to work for a securities firm, and I participated in the bull market in 15 years, so I have some basic knowledge of these financial concepts. Previously, I was a great admirer of the senior who instructed me on how to successfully escape the top of the bull market, and I was curious about how he predicted the timing of his departure from the market. In fact, when accumulating a certain amount of investment knowledge, you will realize that it is actually not that amazing. Behind the stock market is a group of people in the operation, nothing more than human nature, and everything has its own logic and laws behind. Investment is also like this, there is an investment cycle, driving the cycle rotation is a lot of factors, these factors are also traceable. Historically, the bull market, none of the first by the economy to improve and performance-driven, to the end of the emotion-driven, when there is the kind of individuals are recommending stocks and you, is to prepare to take profit and run away.

The stock market can earn two kinds of money, one kind of capital gains, that is, the stock behind the company's profit income, can be dividends can also be a premium. There is also a kind of money, is the money of retail leeks, so that may not be appropriate, but the reality is so cruel, these people usually do not have the relevant financial common sense, only know to chase up and down to listen to the news, especially at the end of the bull market running into the field to raise the stock market. Some data show that the vast majority of China's registered shareholders, the vast majority of the second half of the bull market to open an account.

In fact, there are cognitive harvesting that part of the people who do not have cognitive, I believe that the vast majority of the party stamp rushed into the bull market shouting "chivalry, for the country to take over" people have not read the relevant books on stock investment, and even some of the stockholders do not even understand what the stock is. When the price of a stock is much higher than its own value, why don't you harvest a handful and walk away? Because you've already got a few years of the company's operating earnings in your pocket, so what's the point of having a bicycle? This is one of the layers of meaning I want to say to you, reading and not reading people are two worlds of people. And those leeks probably won't know it in their lifetime and are still blaming themselves for their bad luck.

The probability is that they still won't go to learn investment skills seriously, they are simply gamblers. Even now many mainstream TV series and some so-called self-media v are still preaching the stock market is the casino of such nonsense comments.

Turning back to me, after seriously studying and reading some investment books, I started my life's investment journey, and so far, my earnings are quite good, and have exceeded the sum of my savings when I first started investing in 17 years. This successful experience has brought me great encouragement, although I have never doubted my investment path, but I feel that I can master the investment skills, is a kind of self-affirmation, but also make me more motivated to learn investment knowledge. It also strengthened my determination to learn for life.

On the other hand, good financial habits have helped me realize my family's financial planning, and now my annual capital gains can cover our basic family expenses for a year, making me less anxious about money. When things are not so calculating for money and people are not so utilitarian, a lot of good things happen again.

For example, when doing business is to make ends meet, it is easy to be concerned about the immediate profits with customers, and there is no way to look at the long term. But when I'm not so utilitarian, the pattern of vision higher, I tend not to the pursuit of the immediate point of profit, but more focused on whether and customers *** with the growth, as well as long-term stable cash flow and business model. Just last month, we have an order of 500 pairs of pants after the delivery of the customer and asked us to help them do another 5,000 pairs of scarves, you have to know that if I only care about the profit of the 500 orders, it is not at all will not take this order, because they are not enough to eat a meal. But we consider the longer-term planning, I made a promise with Uncle Wang Qiang, that no matter how big the order is, as long as the time and technology are within our capacity, we will take it seriously, not to take the profit as the ultimate goal. More and more customers and suppliers recognize our values and maintain close cooperation with us.

We follow the value of "do good things, do not ask for the future", which I also like, also hung on the wall of the company.

Later I read more investment books, found that investment and philosophy are somewhat similar, began to read books on philosophy, then found that philosophy and Zen Buddhism is similar, began to read books on Zen Buddhism, and then slowly have a feeling that everything is similar, follow their own heart is to follow the laws of the world, read more books is like "Avatar" inside the tentacles, you and the world have intimate contact, said a little metaphysical, but it does feel like the world, and the world is a very important part of the life of the world. A little bit of fantasy, but the feeling is really so, in short, reading in addition to improve a person's cognition and pattern, can let a person understand more about the world and your own, you have any problem to go to find the corresponding book to read, learn to read on learning to solve the problem of the method, then the world why worry about it?

Unconsciously spilled nearly 5,000 words, want to say a lot of content, but a letter to express more than one point of view is obviously a bit messy, when I wrote here, I made a decision, I do not just want to write a letter a year, I also want to put out a book of life guidebook. Record some of my views on life as well as advice for your reference. That will be the tentative title of the book, "The Life Guidebook of the 80's Ordinary Father".

Finally, a cursory summary of the end, because I'm going to pick up Tang Yuan from school! Reading is by far the most rewarding lifelong endeavor to invest your energy in, and I hope you'll get into the habit of reading in the future as well, and I'm pretty confident that you'll become very good ordinary people. As I said in the beginning, those who help themselves are like God's help. China lost in the beginning, but changed the ending through its own efforts, I am very proud to be a Chinese, so is the country, so should the individual. I would also like to talk to you about following the trend; introspection; planning is more important than hard work; self-discipline is due to imagination; step by step is not enough; breaking down the goal; being a "momentum"; the importance of prioritizing; thinking big and starting small; believing in other people is a kind of ability; the most important thing is to be a good person; learning to be reconciled with oneself and so on. And the internal observation meditation and so on.