What is marriage for, just to fulfill one's life's events, or the wishes of one's parents, and to find any random person to start a family and get hitched?
Maybe in the old days it was, but in today's times it seems that I don't think most people think that way anymore.
After all, nowadays we have our own requirements and visions for marriage, know what we want, what we are getting married for, and under what circumstances we will get married.
If marriage is only to satisfy others, then why are there so many people who have become older men and women, and even if they are older, they will not settle for a marriage?
No doubt, when we choose a marriage, the heart of the only requirement is to be happy, if you know that it will be an unhappy marriage, and how can you force yourself to accept it? The last thing you need to do is to bury two people's lives.
However, many couples, when they are in love plus when they are just married, live a very happy life, and each other is recognized as their own life. But a few years, a long day, the feelings of the two began to fade, the happiness index also plummeted.
So, how can you stay happy after marriage? I think at least couples should do "not forget the beginning".
01
Qin Fang has been with Wang Jun for more than ten years, before the marriage, Wang Jun is a complete poor boy, if not a little talent, it is estimated that it is very difficult to get married.
It is because of his talent, y attracted Qin Fang, do not mind his poverty, do not take into account the opposition of the family, and finally married Wang Jun.
At that time, for Wang Jun, being able to marry Qin Fang was the most fortunate thing for him, and he secretly vowed that he would be good to Qin Fang for the rest of his life, and that he would work hard to make Qin Fang live a life that others would envy.
After almost ten years of hard work, Wang Jun finally realized his vow and gave Qin Fang a very good material condition, as well as a life envied by others.
However, Qin Fang can no longer feel the happiness she once felt. The Wang Jun of the past, even if he was busy, would tell her that he would find time to accompany her, and when he was with her, he would use a very gentle and patient attitude.
And now, Wang Jun's words are "I'm so busy, it's not to earn more money, let you live a little", "you're bored with a friend, to go shopping to buy clothes ah, and there is no lack of your money to spend", and will also say that Qin Fang does not understand him, does not support him, and will be the first to say that he is not a good person. The company's website has been updated with the latest information about the company's website, and the company's website.
In fact, in Qin Fang's heart, has always wanted a simple life, two people regardless of money, can be happy together, this is the idea when they married. And now, she still clearly remembers, but Wang Jun has long forgotten.
The original intention has been forgotten, and the happiness that they wanted at the beginning has lost its original flavor.
All people, when they get married, actually have the simplest and purest requirements for happiness.
Then two people's love is still in the state of the most fresh, two people are thinking, their happiness is each other have each other's company is good, they want to be two people cooking together, catch up with the drama, shopping and so on, simple life, is simple happiness.
But life after marriage is too trivial, the plot is too complex, with a long time, the two experienced more things, the pressure is more and more, some couples for the material desire has been greater than the emotional needs, ignoring each other.
Perhaps, the temporary neglect we can accept, after all, are for life, for the family. But a long time, in the emotionally fed up with loneliness and loneliness, will be eager to once desired simple happiness, so, the lack of feelings in the marriage will lead to a lower happiness index.
02
My uncle and aunt, more than sixty years old, last year, Auntie was obsessed with square dancing, they pulled the uncle to jump together. Although my uncle was reluctant, he still accompanied my aunt to go, and this accompaniment is more than a year.
A group of aunts, on the uncle of a male dancer, a glance at the uncle appears to be particularly abrupt, and even some people will stand next to the special look at the uncle dancing, and some will flirt with a few words.
This is the first time I've ever seen a man who was a member of a group of people who had been in the same boat for a long time, and I've never seen him in the same boat. In his words, "They are all women, I'm a man to dance, and dance is not good, will be laughed at by others, but I have my own task, so I do not have to care."
In fact, uncle's task is very simple, it is to accompany auntie, in the beginning, auntie went to the dance alone, who did not know anyone, and at night, one person also to go back and forth to the plaza, walking so far away. The uncle is also heartbroken auntie, so he is not afraid of being laughed at to accompany auntie to dance together.
Auntie's character has always been like this, and she is most afraid of being alone and lonely. Uncle knows this, even after thirty years of marriage, as long as there are no special circumstances, will accompany the aunt, uncle's original intention has not changed, now they are more happy still, envious of others.
Keeping happy is very simple, is ten years as one day to keep their first heart.
Just like we are willing to get married, why should I marry you and not with anyone else? It's because of the love and warmth you give me; it's because of your funny and witty personality; it's the respect and equality in your eyes.
Why do I not feel the happiness of marriage after a long time? It is because of the absence of your love and warmth, because you are not willing to show me your humor and fun, and even more so because I can no longer see the respect in your eyes.
All in all, why do I feel that I am no longer happy, it is because we, in marriage, have become lazy, unwilling to love each other as we used to, and even more so, we have forgotten our original intention when we got married in the first place.
03
How important is the first heart, just as in our childhood, happiness is the toy in our hands, happiness is the meal made by mom, happiness is a compliment from dad.
Waiting to grow up, only to understand that such happiness is too simple, and too easy to get, but now want to be happy but far more than that, life also has more pursuit and goals.
But even if you get what you want, you will not be able to feel the happiness, so you will miss your childhood and want to go back to the simple happiness of that time.
Marriage is the same, in the beginning, the happiness of two people may be just a bowl of hot porridge, is a hug in the morning before going out, but also sad when the other side of a comfort.
The couple has been together for a long time, so the happiness has become too common, two people once accustomed to such a life, they ignored their own initial heart. With the passage of time, perhaps such a habit is not there, perhaps each other do not care.
Waiting until the happiness is reduced, looking back once, only to find that the original happiness has become a luxury now, the original simplicity has long been replaced by their own vanity.
Many couples say the most when they are separated, "If we could go back to the old days and keep that simple happiness, how good it would be."
Since we can't go back to the old days, why don't we cherish the present, and not forget the original intention?