Sketch Confused love Crosstalk

Skit "confused love" lines

Husband: what ah? Who says I'm afraid of my wife ah, this is not called afraid, this is the old man chest big, my wife that is a strong woman, the company's big boss, make a lot of money, I was laid off at home nothing to do, do a little housework, should be ,,,, what time is it? Wife is about to come back, I have to go to cook.

Wife: little brother ah, what time? I'm going to go.

Little brother: Yes, boss.

Wife: a little brother ah

Dick: boss

Wife: also tired all day long ah, to the doorstep of the house, go in to sit down 。。。。 Knock on the door,

Brother: OK, boss. (knock on the door) 。。。。。。。 Open the door, open the door, open the door, open the door.

Husband: coming coming coming ,,,, must be my wife back 。。。。 It's a male.

Boy: roll (to the husband hands pushed a little), boss, you please!

Husband: wife is back!

Wife: cigarettes?

Husband: Oh

(The little brother immediately handed over)

Wife: lighter?

Husband: Eh

(the little brother immediately handed over)

Wife: Where is the ashtray?

Husband: here

Wife: I'm thirsty, hurry to pour a glass of water.

Husband: eh, good ,,,,,, wife, water is here.

Wife: old lady can drink so cold water? Change a cup!

Husband: well well well 。。。。 (Muttering to himself: Aigoo, my mom yo) 。。。。。 Wife, come on, calm down, the water is here.

Wife: You want to burn me ah? You are not intentionally ah?

Husband: wife, there is no water in the water dispenser.

Wife: No water? You're not going to buy any water, are you?

Husband: no money ah.

Wife: No money? I just gave you five dollars last month?

Husband: the five dollars, yesterday in Jiefangbei shopping, accidentally farted, was caught by the city management, said I pollute the air fined me five dollars.

Wife: you,, look at you this useless thing, roll aside.

(The phone rang, the little brother answered the phone)

Little brother: Hey, find who ah? Oh, well well well 。。。。。 Boss your phone.

Wife: Hey, who is it? What? Little Boo Boo ah? Hey, looking for me what is the matter ah? ,,, what ah? Want me to rebuild the World Trade Center? Looking for me to point out the steel, oops, such a small matter do not talk to me, talk to my secretary on the feasibility of ah,,, en,, bye.

Husband: wife, this more than half a year did not wash, wash not clean.

Wife: (embarrassed expression) put down put down, in outsiders lose my face, later I clean up your 。。。。。 Little brother ah?

Little brother: eh, boss.

Wife: you see you are also tired all day, I have two thousand dollars here, take it to drink tea.

Dick: OK, thanks boss. Thank you 。。。。 (against the husband) look, look,, look what ah? Ah? Haven't seen the money ah? 。。。。 You give ha poke. (Finished leaving the stage)

Husband: wife, a cup of tea to two thousand dollars. Only give me five dollars a month ah?

Wife: give you five dollars how? I'm happy to give you, not happy I do not give you a dime, to others little brother two thousand dollars, people little brother for me to sell their lives, you? At home, everything is not good, outside of what can not do, you give waste, you a loser.

Husband: Well! (very loud)

Wife: yo yo yo yo,, you dare to speak to me loudly? How? Still want to hit me not? En? If you have the ability to hit ah you, you hit ah you,, hum, you do not hit, you do not hit, I hit me to hit me to hit (accompanied by action).

Husband: Enough. (Loud)

Wife: yo yo yo yo,,, capable of you hit this, you hit here ah,, you dare ah you, hum.

Husband: (directed at the stage people asked) friends say, hit or not?

*********

(Immediately put the wife a foot, the wife fell to the ground)

Wife: you dare to hit me, you give asshole.

Husband: you are too much, I give you every day as a cow as a horse, every day to you to wash clothes and cook and do housework, to come back at night you still torture me, I used to be more than two hundred pounds, and now you are tortured into only ninety pounds, you are too bullying, today I'm going to beat you up, and I'm not going to do it, not to serve you.

Wife: If you have the ability to give me a roll!

Husband: roll on roll, you give the melon bitch.

Wife: If you have the ability, do not come back.

Husband: I'm not coming back. (Interactive: think I'm like a man's applause.) 。。。。 I'm off, bye.

Wife: You bastard. You as much as you dare to hit me. Oooooooo...... you bastard! Wooooooooooooooo...... husband you come back. (while crying)

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

(Three months later)

Small snippet of music "New version of the wandering song" 。。。。。。

Husband: I haven't had enough to eat in three months,, I'm like this and you're still laughing at me? (Interaction on stage)

。。。。。

Redacted version of the small section of the music " 》---Big brothers and sisters, you are rich people ah, who have that extra change, to me this wandering people ah, big brother, you just go out ah, you are blessed people which, who have that extra wife, to me this poor people la.

(Drinking on stage)

Husband: just shouted, let me beat my wife? You, I hate you so much, why don't you beat your wife? . To the home, (Interaction: friends said I do not go in ah.... Do not go in ah, the sister also shouted not to go in, you raise me ah you, you this cruel woman la 。。。。。 I'm freezing to death.

Wife: Who is it? Who is outside the ah? Hate! Nervous. (Walking and opening the door). Husband.

Husband: Gong your mom's head ah.

Wife: Hubby you're back?

Husband: I came back to see you, to see how miserable you live alone.

Wife: husband, you sit, you sit, you sit 。。。。 Husband ah, are you doing well out there?

Husband: remove that word ?I'm having a very, very good time.

Wife: How come you're dressed in such rags?

Husband: It's a theater costume.

Wife: theater costume ah?

Husband: Zhang Yimou just invited me to shoot a play.

Wife: Really? What theater ah?

Husband: I succeeded in Zhang Yimou's filming of the Legend of the Eagle Shooting Heroes, playing the role of the Beggar's Association's gang leader Hong Qigong.

Wife: wow, husband you good oh. Husband ah, you hungry ah?

Husband: not hungry.

Wife: Hubby, look at this hot day, I'll prepare some watermelon for you, so you can quench your thirst, OK?

Husband: no!

Wife: Have some.

Husband: no!

Wife: Give some face.

Husband: Oh, well, well, just give you a little face ah.

Wife: eh, good, husband you wait ah.

Husband: I'm starving to death, but also pretend it, my mom.

Wife: Husband ah, look, eat a little. Just a little bit on a hot day.

Husband: just a little ah.

Wife: Eh, just a little 。。。。。。 It's okay, right?

Husband: watermelon does not quench the thirst.

Wife: Oh, does not quench the thirst ah, then I go to give you a cup of water ah. You wait ah.

Husband: Hurry up. My mom, I'm dying of thirst.

Wife: Husband, oooh oooh oooh ...... you don't pretend anymore, husband.

Husband: wife! Wooooooooo......

Wife: It's all the wife's fault ah.

Husband: oooooooooooo...... stop, wait for me to drink some water before you cry.

Wife: husband, you do not go again.

Husband: wife ah, I also do not want to go ah, outside the day is not good ah.

Wife: Husband, my wife will never beat you and scold you again.

Husband: wife ah, I also do not want to hit you ah, are they let me hit ah. Wooooooooooooo......

Wife: Husband, let's start over properly in the future.

Husband: start over again, wife, wooooooooooo...... (crying while shouting for the following people to applaud)

。。。。。

Chorus song "confused love"

。。。。。

Wife: Husband

Husband: Wife