And for the emotional intelligence, you just see usually he did not have too many friends that's all, why? Just because we are all mediocre, what would have a lot of friends? In our minds, more friends tend to be good at rhetoric, but its mouth said words and no gold content, it seems that anything can be involved, but just a little bit, and not in a certain area to the point of pure fire, this person seems to be very good, but often at the bottom of society, and the people around the majority of mediocrity. The real emotional intelligence, and can not see how many friends to judge, what is the reality of high emotional intelligence? Often know how to retreat into the people, know how to give in on certain things, know when to retreat rather than enter, like Sima Yi, you can say he has a low IQ? Although the emperor ostensibly rejected him and his ministers cold-shouldered him, those former generals under him remained convinced to support him, and it was only in the end that he established the world. This kind of talent belongs to the high emotional intelligence, the emperor does not like you, know how to retreat for progress, bide your time, the key moment a hit, this belongs to the high intelligence.
And for doing things a person, there is no friend, this is just the surface of the problem, but what we want to understand a person, often lack of substantive analysis. Because we only see the surface of his behavior, and from the mouth of others heard the surface phenomenon. But if we talk to him in depth, we can understand that such people are often much more powerful than we think.
I am a misfit. I was married at seventeen and divorced at twenty-two. My ex-husband left a son and daughter behind and raised hell. Since then I have been living alone with my children for the rest of my life. The long 44 years of widowhood career I became all things to all people. I am independent. I am hardworking and kind. Recently, I have been willing to help those who are less fortunate than me. But I don't want to make friends. I don't like people to come to my house to play. I'm a clean person. I am a loner. But I am not introverted. I also like to travel alone. I go for a walk every day. Long-term loneliness leads me to tolerate no one. No matter who I contact with once or twice, I can tell what the end of the relationship with him is. The end is where. Whether it's happy or sad. I can see it at a glance. This is probably the water is clear then no fish it. I'm living a happy life now. My children have grown up and my grandchildren have been brought up by me alone. I have no worries about food and clothing. I dress myself every day. Although I am not perfect. But I can't accept anyone. I think a low quality marriage is better than a high quality single. It is better to please others than to be happy with yourself. I don't want to make trouble for myself. If a woman can live independently, she will have a lot less trouble. Dependent on parents is a princess, dependent on men is a princess. If you rely on yourself, you are the queen. If you rely on your parents, your mom and dad will get old. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and then you'll be able to get it done. ......
I agree with this sentence.
With the increase of age and daily affairs, many people will eventually become "not fit in".
I'll be honest, I'm getting to be a bit of a misfit.
I don't want to talk about the time before I went to school, but I started working in 2000. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on the way to the next level. In those years, every afternoon after work, always go home to eat first, after eating to find friends in the same village to go to the game hall to play games (arcade). Later, after playing games, I had to find a restaurant to eat before going home. With the increase in the number of meals, sometimes, after work and friends have arranged to go to a certain restaurant for dinner. The meal will inevitably drink a little wine. Later, as time goes by, every three or five days friends will have a small gathering.
After I got married and had a child, I needed to make arrangements to go out to dinner before I could go out, and if there was something going on at home that I couldn't get out of, then I didn't go out. The first few years of my life, I was able to go out and meet with my friends again, and it was a lot easier.
Then the kids went to elementary school, and there was homework every day, and I always had to finish my kids' homework before I could go out.
When my friends first started drinking, they were able to control the amount of alcohol they consumed, and they didn't get drunk. Later, with the increase in the number of drinks, the increase in the number of drinking friends, the amount of alcohol is also increasing, and sometimes a night to drink two games of wine. Here, there is the "drunkenness". Drinking to sleep in the flowerbed, drinking to ride a bike and fall, drinking to lose a cell phone, drinking to lose a wallet, drinking to find a home and so on, these situations have happened among friends. Then I began to gradually fear of drinking, in fact, I was afraid of friends drink dizzy (including myself).
I have a problem with drinking, if you drink white wine only half a catty, that's fine, nothing will be delayed. But if you drink white wine to seven two, eight two, then I can fall asleep at night, but can not sleep y, the next day at work will be particularly "sleepy", want to slow down the spirit of the head to the next day in the afternoon, and the next night I'm still very "sleepy", will go to bed early, and the next day, the next day, I'm still very sleepy, and the next day, I'll go to bed early. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
Now, I'm tired of working during the day, and when I get home, I have to help my kids with their homework, and I want to write a couple of quizzes and earn a packet of cigarettes. If you drink alcohol at night, it must be controlled within half a pound, and is 10:00 before arriving home to wash and sleep, only so as not to affect the energy of the next day. But this is especially hard to do when my friends are drinking now. So now my friends about drinking, I always avoid, can not go to go, can not drink not drink.
I don't go and drink with my friends more often, and some of my friends said, "You don't follow the group lately, this can't go on".
It's not that I don't want to meet with my friends, but I'm afraid that drinking too much will affect my normal work and family affairs the next day.
Two months ago, I wondered if the highest level of drinking was to be alone at home, drinking by oneself.
When my dad was young, he was a businessman, and he was constantly drinking. Ten years ago did not work in the unit, the seven or eight years do not go out and friends coaxed to play, and do not go out and once friends drink, that is, not with the group. Always their own home at noon to drink two two, evening drink three two, is this really the highest state of drinking?
When I used to like to drink with my friends, I became alone at home. This is a sign of "not following the group". I'm slowly moving away from my friends and becoming an "outlier"!
So, "the highest state of life is to not fit in", I recognize this saying. As everyone's daily life increases and they get older, many of them become "misfits"!
I'm not sure I agree with the statement that the highest state of life is to not fit in.
I am an ordinary person, as an ordinary person, at home, if the family and the family do not get along, it is difficult to do home and all things happy. In the workplace if and colleagues do not get along, small is to affect their own work, big is to affect the work of the whole unit. I am still more in favor of treating comrades like the warmth of spring this sentence, as long as it is a comrade we should be friendly. Even against their own people, as long as he is not genuinely bad, in order to work with him to get along well. When I was a deputy company commander in the army, there was a squad leader who contradicted me. Later, when I became an instructor, I became the leader of the company, he was very afraid that I would give him shoes to wear, and he came to me many times to admit his mistakes. I told him, "I'm not a careful person, as long as you do a good job, we are still good comrades. The company's main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers, and the company's goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers, and the company's goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
People are group animals, whether in life or in the work, it is inevitable that you use me, I use you, and the group is very important to get along. Even against their own people, if you can return the favor, still take him as a comrade, no matter the relationship between people, or work are good.
It is often said that the highest level of gambling is not to go to the police, the highest level of life is the highest level of police is not to get along, are the reasoning of the famous saying, really not happy to get along with the crowd of people he did not start to raise, but in the life of the road to experience success and frustration failure of the kind of toughness and courage to make him feel guilty, low self-esteem with the spirit of time waiting for the success of the comeback, and therefore is the reason he does not get along with the crowd. Take myself as an example, more than twenty years if I have to be at home in addition to sleep from dawn to dusk basically most of the time is spent at the mahjong table, then you can really say that the emperor's life, if there is a banquet friends without a thousand also have eight hundred, but then because of the business to change the line of work greed has become poor, ten years and eight years with less contact with them that they think they are today different from the previous day their grades, and even the phone does not play, and now a person in the Home to watch TV and news all day without going downstairs can be, sometimes to the street to buy food meet general friends greetings on the past, so nearly ten years are accustomed to, but they have the same did not change is to go downstairs every morning to exercise for half an hour, always think that people have the body to have the future.
Hello, I am a miscellaneous talk, talk about personal views, waiting for you to comment on the shortcomings to increase the merits of my answer. Thank you
Personal identity, I have always been because of introversion, not good at socializing. Whether it is school or work, are less with people to socialize so that playmate less, basically is a person. Perhaps because of the habit of being alone plus introverted, I realized that I do not like to get together, whether it is classmates, coworkers or friends called out to play will refuse not willing to go out. I don't want to go out and listen to what they have to say, I just want to stay in my room and watch movies and play games.
When the time passes, the age growth, more and more feel psychological lack of self-confidence more inferiority complex, in really want to socialize with people, afraid of other people do not see their own, feel themselves lower than others. In this kind of thinking do not dare to take the initiative to make friends with people, more afraid to socialize with people, leisure time alone.
In fact, whether you fit in or not, it does not matter, the important thing is not to care about other people's eyes, do a good job of their own, there is no need to have to socialize with them to go along with who. Continue to work hard towards your life goals.
I'm a person who does not fit in, the youth has suffered a major blow to the personality of life, developed a deep understanding of my outlook on life and the world, often 99% of the people who say that it is right to do so, and I give a different view, some of the day, ten days or even ten years to prove that the truth is in my place. How do I fit in with other people? But I'm not a loner or an introvert. I even hit the mayor of the village, the mayor of the town. Although I'm not big, but at night a person open the door to sleep never latch, firmly believe that as long as the line is not afraid of ghosts in the middle of the night, life has its own short and sweet joy, children in the first-tier cities have a career and real estate. I'm a small old man in the remote countryside should also be contented. Now the old house in the countryside by my ten years of care seasonal flowers and green trees evergreen. But still do not want and children together, ready to go home to raise chickens and fish, learn a driver's license to drive a car Tourism, to regain the lost past.
Have you ever seen a group of tigers? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty!
On the herd, you have to understand the other way around.
There is nothing wrong with being in a group, because humans are group animals. Some people are extroverted and like to find a pleasure in the crowd, and that's fine, and there's nothing wrong with that.
But!
Some people like the hustle and bustle, some people do not want to be disturbed.
You fit in, is your freedom.
This is the first time I've ever seen a person with a high degree of autonomy.
You like your own is your business, but can not care about people hard to bear, on the people tied up, with your consciousness of the knife on the neck of the people, and then slipped through, accompanied by you a piece of tossing.
Everyone is traveling in their own lane, have their own life track, so, all know how to respect, know how to let the line, not just focus on their own step on the gas child face to face,
This is the private life belongs to the perpetrator.
You can't say TA despise you because people don't drink, can't say people don't understand because they don't go to K songs together, people don't take part in collective activities are monsters, don't catch up with the drama and say people don't have the mood.
In fact, people really don't drink, don't love to sing, don't watch the serials you watch, really like to be quiet.
People's mood may be far higher than you, people actually have their own group, just you are not in the people's group.
Freedom is priceless, and you can't exclude people and question them because they don't fit in. You don't have the right to kidnap anyone, either in thought or behavior.
Don't let conformity become a blindness.
Socialize, be helpful! Conformity, be effective!
Luo Yonghao has a saying, "Thoughtful people don't fit in anywhere."
People who want to rub their noses in the air everywhere are actually the most unpopular. The first thing you need to do is to get involved in everything, but what do you really want? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that.
Lonely is not the same as lonely, not a concept. The first thing you need to do is to get a good understanding of how to use the Internet and how to use the Internet.
Liu Jialing once said that Tony Leung could stay in a corner of the house for a day and a night without making a sound, saying that he did not like to show his face and did not like to attend events.
But Tony Leung Ka Fai, Lau Ching Wan every year, as usual, for his birthday, Chow Yun Fat, Wong Yat Wah, as usual, often and he went to the New Territories East Sha Tau fishing.
The reason for this is that he only wants to stay with the people he likes and the things he wants to do.
Even movie stars find the disguise tiring, have you ever won an Oscar? Or thanks to CCTV, MTV? You are not tired?
Even if you know all the people on earth, how many of them know you?
Some people are idle, go out alone to buy food, shopping, walk, dance, listen to the song, read a book, walking, fitness, travel.
Some people have nothing to do with a large group of people to push the cup, eat and drink. A group of people get together to discuss entertainment, gossip, current affairs, politics, research Taobao discounts, east parents and west family short.
Which state of life is more high-end?
Most of the pleasures, in fact, are sensory pleasures, once the support of the loss of external objects, this pleasure is not sustainable. So the figure is a momentary pleasure.
Pleasure has to be sustained. Therefore, spiritual pleasure is the highest pleasure!
People whose way of thinking is not on a channel tend to have little **** in the same language.
The higher the realm of the person, he wants not a friend, is a confidant.
The reason why all the good people don't fit in well is because they know how to think about the gains and losses, and how to tell the difference between what is important and what is not. Because they know more about what they need and what they don't need than people who try to fit in.
"Loneliness is the revelry of a man. Carnival, is the loneliness of a group of people"
How big is the carnival, how cold is the dispersal. It is the like-mindedness of the soul that really blends in. It is only when you can live out a sense of abundance in one's solitude that you can call it a realm!
Efforts to live as others, it is really easy; with the heart to do their own, only called the effort.
How hard is it to be yourself with all your heart?
On the road to excellence, you have to put up with positive contempt and behind the ridicule, accept a variety of language attacks.
It is said that "the wind will destroy the wood, the wind will destroy it." I say, the more the wind destroys it, the more the wood shows!
Not to avoid the world's eyes, is a kind of brave! Open-minded, is a kind of ambition! "Though ten million people I will go" is certainly very lonely, but very ambitious! Very backbone!
Even in the face of the world's reproach, but still do not feel depressed because of it. When a person's heart is strong to the extent that "the world is wrong but not frustrated", who can force you to give in?
Loneliness is not about being alone, not about being isolated. But it's just that there are a lot of people out there who don't know what they're talking about.
The real inner strong people, always bring their own light. They don't need to be warmed up, they don't need to be comforted, because they themselves are the matches, and they can light themselves up and burn out sparks wherever they go!
Aristotle said this in his Politics, "Outliers, if they are not beasts, are gods."
It is impossible to please everyone when one lives. To know how to please those who know you, love you, understand you, rather than to please everyone.
Like, you take it, do not like, please do not attack. Some people naturally don't want to act, they just want to be themselves.
"Misfit", it is the habit of some people. This phenomenon has a variety of conditions:
1. There are certain economic living conditions, you can live without conformity, conscious of living comfortably, is also a way of living. No worries, rate of behavior, feel to reach the "highest state."
2. Introvert, like quiet. After years of experience, accumulation, the formation of their own talent, can survive independently, to maintain life, do not use, or socializing and socializing is rare, such as writing, design, craft producers, philosophers, martial arts refiners, scientific researchers and so on. In the "non-conformity," loneliness, tranquility in the inspiration, enlightenment, in the professional quite creative, effective, they believe that this state is conducive to their own life to play the highest state.
3. Conscious "non-conformity," and the pursuit of the goal in mind. Sun Wukong Huaguo Mountain group of monkeys together lively, unwilling and lonely everywhere to visit the road, the way to enhance their own realm, and the group of monkeys or monkeys.
4. In the combination and not in the training to improve. The three stages of misfitness/conformity/non-conformity and the changes in the realm of the monkeys. The first time Wukong did not get along with the others, he was accumulating his talent and strength. Conformity: The heart is higher than the sky, there is no self-awareness, want to enter the high-level "group," and competing to be "the Great Sage of Qi Tian Da Sheng," but the result is to be "Pil Ma Wen", and finally realize the rules of the unhappy and retired! The mountain of flowers and fruits to return to the monkey group. Afterwards, he joined the scripture-taking team and traveled with the group. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that.
Young, the team to join the work, then seek to fit in and play personal ability. If you don't fit in, if you find a way to survive independently and on your own, which is conducive to your own development, you can do it quietly. You should not be proud of yourself for having reached the "highest state": it depends on whether you are creating, creating? The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you are doing and how you are doing it.
A person who sleeps every day and does nothing is not the highest state, right?
There is a dance choreographer, do not fit in, do not participate in group rehearsals during the day, the night alone since the dance, speculate on self-awareness and innovation, and then won the championship, can be described as "do not fit in, up to the highest realm" of an interpretation, because of the results. Or can survive.
Nature buffalo, wolves, lions, hounds and other animals Choose groups to strengthen the power to resist violence and self-defense predation, while the beautiful, martial arts cheetah "do not fit in," the independent predator, tired and exhausted to catch the food but by the despicable team of hounds or lions snatched away. Wolves are strong in packs.
Nowadays, there are many only children, and the living space is closed, so it is easy to become a "family of house people." It is very difficult to get along with the group, and it is necessary to strengthen the "group" group activities: soccer, group walks, socializing, etc., in order to eliminate the disadvantages of isolation and depression, and to solve the problem of marriage.
Social development trends, the formation of a number of human "house a family" crowd. The formation of the "house economy", living alone, living in the building online shopping, drone windows to send meals to the door, it seems to be quite cozy, happy to get away with it, which actually has advantages and disadvantages.
You can choose not to fit in, there is no amazing results, consciously comfortable, ordinary days can be lived, is also a way to live. But the reality is that things are unpredictable, there is no permanent peace and quiet. Lack of help friends, once encountered unexpected diseases, setbacks, problems, blows, bullying, aggression, predicament, more than one can not support, lonely and unassisted, should also be noted.
The square dance is crowded with people who are happy to be there and looking for a group.
Not with the group, "you can tune the piano, read the Golden Scriptures. No bamboo and silk mess ear, no paperwork of labor." Seems wonderful, but this is just the "Inscription of a humble house" author of a moment of leisure, coaxing the city pressure adults have to aspire to, and the author later still put into the red dust and struggle to go. The city wants to come out, outside the city want to go in, static extremely vivid, moving long time thinking quiet, lonely want to lively, lively want to quiet, life is so in the cycle.
What realm is the highest realm of life? Some people think they can see through the world, depressed and disillusioned, out of touch, living out of place. Some people have a great deal of wealth, money, power, and think they are at the top of the social ladder, and they look down on the lower class and the lower class in their eyes, and they don't want to get in touch with them, so they don't want to get in touch with them. Some people think that they have made great contributions to society and are complacent, appearing to be superior and detached from the masses, and do not fit in. These people all think that they are in a high position and do not fit in, but the most important question is: Are they really in a high position?
What kind of realm is really a high realm of life? Insight into the truth of society, the true meaning of life, because of which they can live in peace and joy, at the same time full of pity and compassion for society, willing to make progress for society, for human beings to get rid of suffering, pain and make unremitting efforts. Such a person has a high state of life because of his high state of awareness, and he is out of place because his high state of awareness is difficult to be understood by others. So his misfitness is not his own intentional misfitness; it is not his desire; he desires just the opposite!
So the highest state of life is not to be out of place, but to appear out of place to those who do not understand, and that is the truth!!!!