01
Although "no homework, mother and son filial piety, a homework, chicken flew to the dog jump" has been stamped by countless mothers, a true reflection of the new era of parent-child relationship, but apparently, there are still a lot of mothers who do not appreciate the power of this sentence, and continue to the The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some homework help and then you'll be able to get your hands on some of the best homework help in the world.
In the past, we thought that the price of homework help was just hissing until our throats were dry, getting so angry that our veins rippled, and hating so much that we shuddered, and sacrificing a few problem books, but we never thought that one day we would be put in the hospital by our own children. To put it is not honorable, "pro-mother was baby gas to the hospital" in the family group after becoming a hot topic, many unknown members of the curious baby questions: how angry? Split the family property? Do not support the elderly? Not married, not sterile or openly out of the closet? I did not expect the answer is tutoring homework.
If the mother had known that today, probably would have sighed: If I am guilty, please let the law sanction me, rather than send a cub with my blood flowing to pretend to be a fool to humiliate me.
Many people thought this was a joke, listen to the past, the doctor warned: the mother after the onset of the disease, accompanied by head foaming, body convulsions and other symptoms, was diagnosed with acute coronary syndrome, is often referred to as "infarction", if there is no timely rescue, is very likely to be life-threatening, and can not be treated as a joke.
But the strange thing is, this mother has no history of coronary heart disease and hypertension, how can a sudden heart attack? Doctors gave the answer is that "emotional excitement is a potential trigger for myocardial infarction", that is to say, was angry. The doctor again reminded: life is not a small matter.
The implication is that we can hear it, so let's just leave the homework alone and get on with it. It's a wake-up call for countless parents who are struggling with homework: it's a life-changing endeavor.
Now most of the parents who need homework help are post-1980s. Think about it, you have avoided family planning, taken on a high mortgage, and accepted the impact of high technology, which have not defeated you.
So if you don't plan on sacrificing yourselves along the way, then get the right posture for tutoring homework. Mr. Zheng Renqiang said that adults are used to dealing with people with the same IQ and experience, and that adults need to "downgrade" when dealing with children.
This is not about lowering your IQ to the same level as your child, but it's about what you can do to help. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that. It should be the child as a subordinate, an employee, parents to a manager of the identity of the conversation of a variety of aspects are not as good as your employees, the two sides to start the exchange.
After all, counseling homework is also a task that can be brought into management concepts and psychological knowledge. Parents have the expertise to reclaim the wilderness of homework help, so that they don't have to work so hard to get it right.
02
First, create a distraction-free environment for your child to learn.
We need to make sure that there are no shouts of hawkers, square dance songs, the sound of the neighbor's children practicing piano and the lion's roar of the mother next door tutoring her child. Although Chairman Mao once practiced concentration by reading in the middle of a downtown area, one should be self-aware that you should be able to judge whether your child can make progress in a noisy environment, and if not, get your hands dirty to create a hygienic, quiet learning environment.
Psychology has a "limited attention effect", said people in the processing of information in a limited capacity, our attention in the cognitive process is a scarce resource, will be some of the attraction of the claptrap, which distracts the attention, resulting in some of the bland things on the attention of the corresponding Reduced.
Imagine, is it interesting to memorize words, or is it interesting to watch the enchanting dance of the aunt downstairs? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. The child's self-control is poor, can not focus on homework, the mother and can not let him hanging beams, after all, is the biological, can only be artificially shielded from interference, so that the child isolation interference, passive have to focus on homework.
But there is a saying that parents protect their children when there is danger, but when there is no danger, parents are the greatest danger. If the child is studying, the parents to come to the posture of the past to point out the mountain, or talk about their own school time "great achievements", or even in the child's room in the name of counseling homework answer the phone to play mahjong, to be honest, the child to the parents of such a gas into the hospital, I can only say that the good and the evil will have a retribution, the heavens have spared no one.
The second point, emotions give way to reason.
I understand that mothers in the tutoring homework, in the face of always make the same mistakes of the child will be angry, and then angry, hysterical shouting, what decency, knowledge, elegance, go to hell, and today vowed to communicate with this little brat a good time. This is a familiar scene, the child stared at the big eyes of the ignorant, the mother has stormed out.
In fact, the homework tutorials are often a one-man show for the moms. The kids are not even in the show, and the moms are already angry with their emotions. As Mr. Cheng said, being dominated by emotions, many parents become "savages in suits", and they just want to vent their emotions. This is very common in homework help.
Every time a mom sees a child make a mistake, she yells at the child to vent her anger, but this method of counseling has very little effect. The child doesn't remember where he went wrong, and forgets to self-reflect, he only remembers the mom's horrible face, and may even leave a psychological shadow.
The right way to do this is through the psychology of the "Law of Emotional Judgement", which says that emotions take precedence over rationality in influencing a person's judgement. A truly mature person will deal with emotions first, and then deal with things to avoid bad emotions affecting their behavior.
Mothers must pay attention to "dealing with emotions first, and things second" when tutoring homework. It's a process where mom and child work together to defeat the enemy, not turn the child into the enemy.
Mom must learn to combine love and demand, because the child in the reception of horror or disgust signal, they will be outside of the outside world information, what words, what reason can not listen to it, still learn a hair. The first thing that you need to do is to get a good understanding of what you're doing and how you're doing it, so that you can get a good understanding of what you're doing.
The third point is that there are no rules.
In a thousand families, there are a thousand restless children. For some children, even if you give him the White House plate down, dozens of bodyguards to ensure that he is not subject to outside interference, parents kind eyes never shouting, but also can not curb the tutoring homework the child that want to go to the toilet, want to drink water, want to move the bones of the heart.
They seem to have a free spirit, and just won't sit at the table for more than fifteen minutes without getting a sore bottom. But if you don't let them drink water, parents are worried about being charged with child abuse. In the face of unlimited delays, free-spirited children, the parents do not work, only the iron system can work.
Management of a "prisoner ship theory", said the British government sent prisoners to Australia to develop the colony, according to the number of people on board the ship to the shipowner to settle the cost of the result of the arrival in Australia, the prisoner mortality rate is very high. The British government morally condemned the shipowners, but with little success, the prisoners still died in waves. So the British modified the settlement method and settled the bill on the basis of the number of convicts arriving in Australia alive, and the death rate was greatly reduced. This shows that the system is always more effective than the rule of man. The system can be well constrained by all parties, and as long as they follow the rules, they can benefit.
Mothers in the tutoring homework, the face of loose children, rather than time and time again to comply with the teachings, moral probation, it is better to formulate the rules, such as preparing learning tools in advance, the development of a timetable, the study time is not allowed to go to the toilet, walk around at will, or else give a certain amount of punishment. Rest time should also be formulated to ensure that children combine work and rest. As long as the development of the strict implementation of the system, the system in front of no mother and child (female), who dared to destroy the system, we must accept the punishment.
The fourth point, parents reduce the control, appropriate authorization.
There is a law of exception in management that says too much control leads to inefficiency, and those in power should know how to let go of their hands at the right time and let their children learn on their own. Moms need to understand that the curtain is always going to come down, and that kids are learning for themselves, not as puppets and bridges between mom and homework. Really want to complete the task of learning is the child himself, many mothers obsessive-compulsive possession, must force the child to hand over a perfect homework book, the mother became the real master of homework, is not the cart before the horse?
Mr. Zheng Renqiang also said that there is a love called letting go ...... not, string stage, Mr. Zheng Renqiang said: Parent-child relationship in many things to clarify the main body, such as tutoring homework, the main body is the child, the parents are only auxiliary. Many mothers do not let go of the subjective questions, forcing their own ideas added to the child, the child passive learning, naturally disgusted by procrastination.
Mom to know, cultivate children's learning habits are more important, you are counseling, not command, not behind the scenes, let the child to enjoy a certain degree of autonomy in learning, make mistakes and take the initiative to reflect on the correction, better than the mother's flavor of preaching.
This is the same as the Yokoyama law that says, "It's better to let a person be self-governing than to let them be self-governing," which means triggering a person's inner spontaneity to control, which is the most effective way to manage.
These are the most important things you can do to help your child learn to be successful in life. The only way to do this is to decentralize the process of tutoring to the point, so that the child can bear the consequences of his own learning, in order to cultivate his ability to learn and think independently, which is the ultimate tutoring law.
Finally, I would like to tell all the parents, homework counseling is a long way to go, before the homework overwhelms the child, please do not let it overwhelm you. The first thing I want to do is to make sure that I have a good idea of what I'm talking about, and that I'm not going to be able to do that. The first thing that you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots.
Supervised by Mr. Cheng Yanqiang