1
Before that day, it never occurred to Su Jin that there might be someone else between her and Lu Yan, although the atmosphere between the two was a bit subtle in those days, and she was often in a panic because she was worried that Lu Yan might leave her someday, she knew that Lu Yan was not a person who would be out of his mind.
The problem was detected on a weekend, the two were out to eat, halfway she went to the restroom, when she came back, she saw that Lu Yan was holding his cell phone to send a message back to some people, the corner of his lips there is a smile flickered, although very quickly, but still caught by her.
A woman's sixth sense is sometimes so strange, at that moment she was sure that the opposite side is a girl.
Su Jin didn't have the habit of checking her cell phone, and never checked Lu Yan's cell phone, even when she was suffering from the worst, she knew that Lu Yan actually didn't like others to touch his things, and she chose to respect him.
Lu Yan looked up at her when she took her seat, Su Jin smiled and tried to make her tone sound less tight, "Talking to someone?"
"The work group." The person on the other side locked the screen the first time, looked natural and put the phone back, looked at his watch, "Have you eaten yet?"
"What kind of work ah have to talk on the weekend," Su Jin looked at him, "You have something?"
"Well," Lu Yuan paused, "There's something going on in the company, I have to work overtime temporarily."
The hand on his side slowly clenched, at that moment Su Jin even wanted to ask him if he was lying, however, in the end she still held back, paused for a moment, and slowly said, "Good."
Lu Yan was in a hurry, when she went back Su Jin didn't let him send her, but when she was almost home she suddenly changed her mind and let the master turn around and went to the studio temporarily. She knew she should give Lu Yan some trust, if she went home and stayed alone, she would surely be rambling.
There were not many people working overtime on the weekend, and the few who stayed in the studio were surprised to see her, but I don't know if she was in conflict with something that day, but she was always distracted at work and made frequent mistakes, and she was called directly to the office by her boss before she left because she mixed up the client's list in the afternoon.
The boss He Qi is her childhood partner, the two grew up together, the relationship has been good, her emotions simply can not escape his eyes.
In fact, she had been in bad shape for a while, although she still looked like she loved to smile every day, but her whole body revealed a kind of fatigue, and she had made more than one mistake at work. He Qi weighed the wording and spoke hesitantly, "Otherwise, take some time off and make some adjustments."
Su Jin of course knew that this was not meant to be her dismissal, but she also understood that apart from caring about her, there was also a subtext that she really couldn't work well at the moment. She had been given an extra period of vacation for nothing, so Su Jin was actually in a trance for a while.
When she returned home, she walked from dusk to dark.
When she entered the door, she wanted to touch the lamp, but she realized that the lamp in the house was actually on, and the smell of food was wafting from the kitchen. Su Jin was stunned, thinking that Lu Yuan had come over, and when she changed her shoes and wanted to go over to look at it, she was called over by the old lady standing at the entrance of the building.
There was a time when Su Jin was sick and hospitalized, and the water pipes in her house leaked, and the downstairs was found to be leaking, and Lu Yan negotiated a private settlement with the family, and now that the downstairs repairs have been completed, the old lady must let her go to the inspection, and let her hear the price list, as if to prove that she didn't want to be greedy for her cheapest price.
Su Jin listened absentmindedly, only to feel dizzy, half an hour later finally dragged the tired body back upstairs.
When she opened the door she wondered why she didn't look for Lu Yan since he was back.
The moment she opened the door, Su Jin got the answer - that person in the house, it was not him at all.
2
That's a very young boy, wearing a gray sweater, jeans, eyebrows and eyes with a little bit like Lu Yan, but than Lu Yan this baby face to show much smaller, looking at the appearance of eighteen or nineteen years old, Su Jin retreated a step back, hesitantly asked: "You are?"
The man looked at her, did not open his mouth, Su Jin looked at him, and asked again, "Where is Lu Yan, is he inside?"
The boy stared at her and shook his head, Su Jin frowned, "Then how did you get in here ...... Are you in the end?"
The other party opened his mouth as if to speak, however before he had time to open his mouth he was interrupted by the ringtone that came with it. Su Jin glanced at the phone and picked it up, after the opposite party said a few words, she froze for a moment, hesitantly glanced at the boy and stepped aside to whisper back, "Your cousin?"
"It was an oversight on my part, calling you didn't get it so I sent him over first. I was thinking of making a trip over there in the evening, but now I can't seem to get away." Lu Yan said apologetically.
"You should have seen this child in the hospital last time, came to see the doctor, his parents have something at home to go back, in a few days will be back. Leave him alone to live in the hotel is not assured, I thought of first picking him up to stay a few days, if you feel inconvenient I will find someone to pick him up."
Su Jin actually did not know what to say for a moment, and only felt a little ridiculous.
Lu Yan has a brother she knows, is his stepfather's son, called Liu Junyao, is Lu Yan rare trustworthy people, Su Jin accidentally met a few times, but she did not know, Lu Yan actually have a cousin.
Lu Yan's parents divorced when he was in elementary school, and by the time she met him, Lu Yan had already been living in the Liu family for a number of years and rarely mentioned his father's side of the family to her.
She looked up at the boy, only to realize that the boy was also looking at her, standing there quietly, tall and thin, his face looking a little pale in the light, and the words of refusal could no longer be uttered.
Su Jin thought to herself, Lu Yan really took her to death.
Lu Yan has his own room here, when Su Jin led him over, she found that he went behind the sofa to carry a suitcase, she actually didn't see it when she entered the door.
She asked him his name, and the boy was silent for a moment, long enough to say, "Lu Yi."
Su Jin looked back at him and asked, "Have you eaten yet?"
The boy shook his head, Su Jin said, "Pack up and go eat, the kitchen meal ...... is Lu Yan came to buy it, eat and put there is good, I live on the second floor, something can call me."
Seeing her about to leave, the boy finally spoke again, "You do not eat?"
Su Jin's footsteps only slightly paused, did not turn around, waved her hand, and then went up the stairs.
Su Jin went back to her room when she remembered what time Lu Yan said she had met in the hospital, she actually had no impression of Lu Yi at all, but tonight when Lu Yan said that he vaguely remembered the time she was hospitalized with a fever, it seemed that she had met such a person. But those days just after the anniversary of the death of her parents, her state is not very good, her eyes only follow Lu Yan, did not pay attention to other people.
Perhaps because she was too tired during the day, Su Jin rarely slept peacefully this night.
The curtains in the house were drawn, when she woke up, the room was dark, like it was still night, she took her cell phone and looked at it, the clock showed seven o'clock and five minutes, it was already morning. There was a missed call on her cell phone, a call from Roadburner yesterday afternoon, I think it was the one she didn't get at work.
When she went downstairs, there was a little movement coming from the kitchen, although it was very light, Su Jin still sensitively caught it. In that instant Su Jin thought it was Lu Yan coming back, and reacted for a second or two before remembering that Lu Yan had been living at the company lately.
She slowly descended the stairs and saw a man standing in the living room, finally realizing that last night was not a dream of her own, and that a stranger had indeed taken up residence in this house.
The house was filled with the aroma of a meal, Su Jin glanced at the table with a few plastic bags, the table was set with millet porridge, she asked, "Did you ...... go downstairs to buy it?"
Lu Yi smiled gently, hmmm, Su Jin hesitantly opened her mouth, "You don't have to do all this, I'll just go and buy breakfast in the future."
Lu Yi didn't speak again, just smiled.
3
This meal was actually not really cordial, Su Jin only ate a few bites and went back upstairs, she used to be quite a lively nature, but for some reason in the past two years, it seems to be more and more do not know how to get along with strangers.
Being put on a long vacation, the whole person was empty all of a sudden, and when she woke up early, she even forgot that she didn't have to go to work. Su Jin didn't tell Lu Yan about this, she was still thinking about the person she chatted with, Lu Yan said it was work, but in fact she didn't really believe it.
However, she wouldn't be so quick to question him, she didn't have any evidence at all, and being unreasonable would only make both people tired.
The chat was topped with a good morning from him back to her when she woke up early, but that wasn't enough for Su Jin. What she wants is not a greeting, it's where he is, what he's doing, who he's with, it's everything she wants to know. But she also understood that Lu Yan's character had always been cold, and this was not something he would do.
The curtains in the room were still drawn, looking dark and heavy, Su Jin leaned against the window, and thought about taking out her cell phone and clicking on the text message bar, and word by word, I lost: "Are you busy today, what are you doing?"
When He Qi called, Su Jin was leaning against the window looking at a picture book, he asked her how she felt at home, Su Jin smiled and said it was fine.
Actually, after saying this, there is nothing to talk about, after all, we just saw each other yesterday, Su Jin accompanied him for a while, heard He Qi slowly become gulping, and then heard the other end of the line asking lustfully, "Did you and Lu Yan break up?"
Su Jin was silent for a moment and said with a smile, "Nothing, why do you ask?"
"It's good that there isn't," He Qi breathed a long sigh of relief and smiled, "Thinking that you weren't in a good state, I thought that boy had done something wrong to you."
Su Jin hung up the phone with a few perfunctory words, however, she could not look at the picture book in her hand any longer.
She only felt her chest was stuffy, a breath of air was blocked, clicked on her cell phone, the chat interface is still clean, Lu Yan did not send a message over.
In fact, Lu Yan is not always like this, he is indeed not warm enough, but there have been every now and then to chat with her for a while.
That moment or parents just accident, Lu Yan has been at home with her, and then she urged to go to work, to the unit to send messages with her, is later she did not let him send, for fear that he was distracted by the work, but now she actually regretted.
However, she thought, if she didn't say it at that time, he would still insist on sending her a message as he did at that time?
When her parents' affair, the neighbors were gossiping, Lu Yan accompanied her to move home again and again, but she knew that even if she moved farther away, she would have to carry the identity of the murderer's daughter for the rest of her life, and Lu Yan really didn't mind?
She suddenly became a bit deflated, and threw her cell phone out as if she was mad, and it hit the door hard and fell to the floor again. She hugged her knees and sat in front of the curtains, I don't know how long it took, someone came in and picked up the phone from the floor where it had been thrown.
Su Jin knew it was Lu Yi, but at this moment she didn't want to maintain her face, she said, "Get out."
Lu Yi paused slightly, walked over and put the phone on the edge of the bed, he squatted down beside her, a bowl of steaming congee in his hand, Su Jin raised her head and calmly looked straight at him, "I told you to get out, didn't you hear me?"
"The house is too dark, go out more often," he said after a pause, "The porridge will be sticky when it gets cold, remember to drink it."
The door was closed once again, Su Jin was still sitting there, slowly calmed down, after a while, finally looked at the bowl of porridge.
Lu Yi entered the door just in time to see her come downstairs, he was carrying a lot of things, Su Jin called him over, she looked a little unnatural, looking at the dishes in his hands: "Not that I don't need you to do all this, your brother asked me to take care of you, you're like this I ...... "
"It's okay to be idle," Lu Yi smiled slightly, "I can cook okay, you try."
Su Jin was silent, and after a while finally sighed softly.
4
The lunch that day was made by Lu Yi, four dishes and one soup, all very homemade, and the taste was much better than "okay". Su Jin asked about his illness, Lu Yi said lightly: "It's not a serious illness, but the family made a big deal out of it." After thinking about it, he said jokingly, "It's not a problem to live another ten years."
Su Jin looked up at him and saw that the boy was also gazing at her, he had a pair of good eyes, dark and deep, Su Jin just looked at him and hurried away without asking any further questions.
I don't know if her heart softened because of that conversation, when Su Jin went to the study, she was afraid that Lu Yi would be bored and asked him to get some books to read as well.
Su Jin studied design, she turned on the computer to draw pictures, Lu Yi took a photo album from the bookshelf and asked if she could read it, she glanced at it and said yes after a pause.
The room was very quiet, almost inaudible. Lu Yi was looking very seriously, Su Jin looked up and saw only his long eyelashes and high nose.
The scene in front of her did not know why it reminded Su Jin of her college days, she put down the mouse and went over to see Lu Yi staring at a photo, it was a kindergarten group photo, a group of little bitty people sitting in rows, Lu Yi smiled and said, "I see you."
Lu Yi has a kind of temperament that is very similar to that of Lu Yan in his college days, the difference is that he loves to smile, Su Jin didn't look at him and pointed at a little girl in the photo and said, "This one."
Further back, is a university graduation group photo, Su Jin with a bachelor's degree cap, standing in a row of boys on the far right, Lu Yi pointed to the boy behind her and asked, "Is it the little boy who just sat next to you?"
Su Jin looked and realized it was He Qi and smiled, "Yes."
He Qi hadn't changed much. He Qi has not changed much. The two of them have been in the same school from kindergarten to university, and not only were they in the same class in university, they even joined the same club.
The two of them have been in the same school from kindergarten to college, not only in the same class but also in the same club.
Su Jin recalled that when she was chasing after Lu Yuan, He Qi expressed his dissatisfaction, and later she realized that He Qi wanted her to be with a friend in the club who played well with him.
Su Jin reached out to touch the photo as she stood next to Lu Yi, who pushed the album in front of her, revealing a piece of paper in the back half of the album.
Su Jin drew it out, halfway through the exhibition and quickly closed it again, however, Lu Yi still saw it clearly, in that picture was a boy's back.
Su Jin lowered her eyes and slowly said, "It's him."
After saying this, she suddenly smiled as if she was relieved, and said in a low voice, "Lu Yan doesn't like to take pictures, so he had to secretly draw a picture."
Saying it out loud may not be believed, she actually had no pictures of Lu Yan in her hand, and the only photo she had together was lost when she moved for the first time. She drew a lot of backdrops of Lu Yan, all of which were from her college days, maybe because at that time, she saw more of his back.
In fact, the relationship with Lu Yuan has always been her initiative. She chased after him first, just into the university girls, on good grades long outstanding senior always easy to produce adoration. But he is notoriously difficult to get, so every day all kinds of coincidence, chance encounters, and finally in about to give up on the time to get his nod.
She asked Luichi, "Do you have a favorite?"
The boy was silent for a moment and replied after a long time, "Yes."
Sujin said, "What kind of person?"
Lu Yi froze for a moment, then a faint smile spread in his eyes, the corners of his eyes are permeated with gentleness, "A very pleasing and heartbreaking person."
Su Jin did not ask further, she thought, that must be a very good and nice girl, the same as the Lu Yan she once had.
Lu Yan never came to see Lu for a few days after Lu Yi's arrival. He called to say he was busy, explaining that there was a new project recently, and that the whole team was working overtime day and night, and Su Jin didn't say anything more.
Originally, Su Jin took care of Lu Yi, but he didn't realize that he was doing all the cooking instead. Su Jin has always eaten very little, but when she saw Lu Yi prepare so carefully, she couldn't bear to brush off his thoughts and eat a little more.
When Lu Yi came in, Su Jin was leaning against the sofa and reading a book. The curtains in her room were always closed, and even though it was daytime, it still looked a bit dark. Lu Yi came in to bring tea and noticed that she was holding an old black cell phone, not the white one from last time.
Su Jin thanked her, but she was a bit upset, she felt more and more that she had not taken care of Lu Yi except for providing him with a place to stay, but instead she had been taken care of by him. Lu Yi glanced at her before going out, "You should go out for a walk."
Su Jin smiled and said yes.
Lu Yi didn't say anything else.
After a day Lu Yan finally freed up his time and called to say he was coming back for dinner, Su Jin reacted after a while. She went to the supermarket to buy a bunch of vegetables back, after noon began to prepare, Lu Yi came in to help, Su Jin did not allow, let him go to read a book, Lu Yi softly said, "so like him?"
Su Jin is cutting vegetables, did not hear.
Lu Yan came in the evening, a little later than the agreed time, when he arrived, it was Lu Yi who opened the door, four eyes, Lu Yi called low brother.
Su Jin hadn't seen Lu Yan for a week. He had changed companies before, and his new address was in the north of the city, far away from here, and he had been working overtime lately, so she didn't want to go and cause any trouble.
He asked Lu if he was used to staying in the city, and told Su Jin, "His parents can't get away for a while, so he may have to stay for two more days.
Su Jin hmmm, did not see the opposite side of the road one suddenly looked at her.
Lu Yan didn't finish this meal, a phone call came in the middle of the meal, saying that he came to work, he went back halfway through the meal. When he was leaving, Su Jin sent him out, she had ten thousand words clogged in her chest to ask, such as which coworker made the phone call just now, such as why his tone was so gentle, but she finally curbed these thoughts, because Lu Yan gently hugged her.
He said, "It's been hard on you for a while."
Sometimes a girl's emotions are really strange, a hug from her lover can suppress all the gloom in her heart.
They stood under the tree, and no one noticed the silhouette that stood for a long time in the upstairs window.
5
Lu Yi was aware that Su Jin hadn't gone to work recently, and he asked her, "Did you not tell ...... my brother that you've been home recently?"
Su Jin's hand holding the chopsticks paused and said, "It's just a normal vacation, there's no need to tell him, it's a waste of time for him to worry."
The boy on the opposite side of the table, however, looked up at her and asked in a low voice, "Are you often like this?"
And asked, "My brother he, is he good to you?"
Su Jin didn't know why he asked, but still answered, "Very good."
Lu Yan did treat her very well before, although she often felt that his nature is indifferent, but in fact, he is the kind of person who does more than he says, from the assignments she couldn't handle in college, to after graduation, changing jobs and houses, he has actually always been helping her. Even the hardest part of her life, he was always there for her.
So, even though she had doubts about him, even though she was getting more and more uneasy, she didn't want to press Lu Yuan every step of the way.
Su Jin asked him why he asked, but Lu Yi lowered his eyes and looked down to finish his bowl.
Su Jin says, "Do you want to go out for a stroll?"
The hot summer has quietly passed, after the autumn evening wind gradually become cooler, Su Jin pulled Lu Yi out of the neighborhood, all the way on foot, encountered a lot of people walking outside. After passing through a small square, there was music coming from a group of people dancing in the square, Su Jin took a look, the leader was actually two young people.
Next to the street lamp there is a pair of young men and women are pushing the baby for a walk, there is an old lady went over, I guess it is to praise the baby cute, Su Jin saw the three people smiling and looking at the baby, chatting for a while, and then dispersed.
Once upon a time when Su Jin passed by here, she was always in a hurry and only felt a little noisy, but this night she suddenly felt that the ordinary and small happiness in the world is so rare.
Lu Yi's character has places that are very similar to Lu Yan, for example, he is really not talkative, as well as, the tone of rejecting people is really cold.
Su Jin watched the two little sisters who came over on skateboards to ask for their phone numbers leave in disappointment, and smiled in a rare way, thinking that Lu Yi really didn't live like a teenager.
Lu Yan said he took a break from his freshman year and is only eighteen this year, but he always feels like a thirty year old, Lu Yi twisted his head to look at her and asked, "What should a thirty year old look like?"
Sujin couldn't describe it.
In fact, she thought about what Lu Yan was like when he was thirty years old, he should be more serious, more calm, and more composed than now, and in her vision, at that time ......
they should have been married.
Su Jin lightly changed the topic and turned her gaze back to the front. The place where Su Jin lived was quite far away from the city, and near the eighth month of the lunar calendar, there were many more people selling lotus lanterns on the roadside.
There is a river not far away, I don't know where it branches off from, Su Jin went over and bought two lotus lanterns, and brought them over to put them together with Lu Yi. Lu Yi asked her if she needed to make a wish, and instead of answering, she asked, "Do you think there really is an afterlife when people die?"
Then she laughed again and said, "Nonsense, no need to make a wish, if wishing was really that effective, there wouldn't be so many painful things in this world."
But Lu Yi gazed y at her and said, "I made a wish."
There were a lot of things in his gaze that she couldn't read, and for a moment Su Jin felt familiar, and ghostly asked, "Wished for what?"
"Wish, she can live happily and joyfully." He squatted down, put the lamp into the river, and slowly said, "Stop putting everything in your heart and carrying it hard by yourself."
The cool evening breeze brushed through Su Jin's hair, and at the end of her gaze, a couple was arguing about something, she said softly, "Go back."
They didn't speak again on this journey until the evening when she was about to go to bed, she was looking for something in the drawer, Lu Yi knocked on the door and came in, putting down a cup of tranquilizing tea, he said, "Don't take any more sleeping pills."
He turned on the machine, put on soft music, and dimmed the lights, and as he turned to leave, Su Jin called out to him from behind.
"Luichi," she said slowly, hearing the boy hmmm, she stared at his back and finished her latter words calmly, "In the future, don't come upstairs again if you have nothing to do."
6
When Su Jin was studying, she learned, "The scholar's delay is still a matter of speaking. When Su Jin was a student, she learned the saying "A man's delay is not a good thing, but a woman's delay is not a good thing," but she didn't understand it, she didn't fall in love at that time, and she had a beautiful fantasy about love, but when she finally understood the saying, she realized that it was already too late.
When she returned home it was already very late, as soon as she opened the door she saw Lu Yi was making a phone call and was ready to go out: "I can't contact her now, if I go to your place you ......"
Lu Yi's words were not finished because he saw Su Jin
Lu Yi didn't finish his sentence because he saw Su Jin, who was lost in thought like her strength had been drained.
He hung up the phone and asked her gently, "What's wrong?"
Su Jin did not answer, she said, "Go out."
Lu Yi frowned and looked at her worriedly, however Su Jin just pushed him out the door.
The moment the door to the room closed, she finally sat down against the door in a weak state.
It was like going back to when she first met him, she thought, what's wrong with Lu Yi.
She got up holding onto the wall and gently opened the door, Luichi looked at her and said, "Eyes are swollen."
He took a towel and helped her put ice on it, her eyelashes fluttered when her fingers touched the corner of her eye and she said, "I'm sorry."
Luichi didn't ask her what was wrong, he was always like that, he could tell by her expression when she really didn't want to talk.
This night Su Jin did not sleep, leaning against the bed to sit until dawn, the past of her and Lu Yan reminiscent of the past, found that some of the memories have gradually blurred up, the original couples will be like this? Even the most cozy and sweet thing when it happened, there will be a day to forget.
So he forgot all about them and went to create new memories with other girls.
Sujin thought, she wanted to confirm it one last time. (Novel name: "There's Still Me" by Qing Meng)