My wife wants my mom to help with the kids, my mom doesn't agree, what should I do?

This is a problem that I have encountered as well. I am a woman, married far away. Half a month before giving birth, my parents came from afar, and the first day my mother-in-law met my parents, she told my mom that she wouldn't bring it. When the baby was born, she really didn't bring it. Two months later, my mom's visa was about to expire and she was worried about me and the baby. She asked my mother-in-law many times to help me out, but every time my mother-in-law said politely, "Don't worry about it, in-laws, if you can give birth to a child, you can raise it". Later, I took care of the baby by myself, and when I really couldn't take care of the baby, I would fly back to my mother's house with the baby in my arms for a month or so. I've been doing this until now, when my child is in elementary school. The hardships of these years are self-evident, my son is particularly difficult to bring up, very difficult to bring up, difficult to what extent, have seen a psychiatrist, he and I have seen a psychiatrist, I am severe depression and anxiety, the child is a slight anxiety. As an example, he won't even when I'm frying in the kitchen, he has to have me not leave him halfway at all times. The doctor said he is severely insecure and suggested that everyone in the family join together to bring him up and not leave me alone, but there is no one else in the house but me and my husband. My husband had no choice but to spend airfare money to send us back to my mother's house over and over again. My mother-in-law lives in the same neighborhood as us, two minutes away, and she comes every morning and evening to offer incense, but is a stranger to my son, even when we meet in the neighborhood. Supplementary note, before I had a child, I was working, ten thousand dollars a month, I often give her stuffed red packets, even the Qingming Festival stuffed, during the pregnancy I also bought her gold many times, I am one of the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship really want to get along, after all, I do not have a mother's home here, I hope that she and I kissed like a mother and daughter, and I would like to be more than one person to love my child, but after the birth of the child I bring up their own child did not go to work, do not have an income, just not as much as before, and I have Income, just not as much as before, and I'm not relying on my husband to support, but I really don't have the money and leisure to take the money to honor my mother-in-law, take the money can't buy the hearts of the people, I only blame myself for the past is too free, take the money and true heart to feed the dog. Maybe it's because I haven't given her any material benefits since then, so she's very indifferent to me and my kids, more so than the neighbors. Even the community security guards can't stand it, and have told me many times that my mother-in-law purposely doesn't overtake us when she sees us at the back when my child and I are walking in front. The last few months of this year, she did not know what the wind, said you can help me pick up the child after school, I said in front of my husband, "do not need, my son and you are not familiar with, from childhood did not bring, no feelings"

This issue I have the most to say, I gave birth to a daughter, when my mother-in-law was 49 years old, she has been out of work, after the end of the maternity leave, my husband said that his mother to bring, come two hours said uncomfortable home for a month, the second to go to the hospital to see the next day. The second time to come to the next day to go to the hospital to see the doctor on the grounds of leaving again, after I discussed with my husband, considering my income is higher than him, work better than him, he resigned to bring the baby at home, and from then on my family has become a chicken and dog, so much so that finally we divorced, the wife's grandmother said he was a big man with no interest in the home to give me to lead the child ...... a maiden, also As for his resignation to bring at home, and so on vicious and unpleasant words, and then he was step by step brainwashed, throw down the child so-called business venture to go, at this time my mother because of cerebral infarction paralysis, call my husband to let him take a while, please to the caregiver and nanny to pick up, the wife wife gave him that my mother is a drag, and gave birth to a daughter hurry up and leave, he did not come to pick up the daughter, we left, and from then on, he and his family did not seen the child, because he met a bridesmaid when he attended the wedding. Which the hardships do not want to say, just want to say, the child is two people, if your mother really do not want to lead on the nanny, or ruthless send early morning care, but your day is really not good, in the future, if the mother-in-law is sick or something, or do not call the daughter-in-law to serve.

This problem is now a more common problem in the family. In the 1970s and 1980s, it can be said that the child is the mother to see, and now, although the development of the times, changes have occurred, young mothers in order to fight to earn money, there is no time to take care of the child. Families are different from each other, some are looked after by grandmothers and some by grandmothers, depending on the circumstances. Your wife proposed to let the child's grandmother to take care of the child, that the grandmother can not take care of, it depends on the child's grandmother's age and physical condition, such as physical conditions allow, you can do a little ideological work, so that the elderly to do happy to see the child, happy and happy to accept. If the old man does not accept, she also has a reason, must not let the old man suffer because of this matter, because she is not young.

Your mother's health, persuade your mother to help for three years, after your mother is old, sick, called your daughter-in-law to help, your daughter-in-law has no problem, otherwise your daughter-in-law grudges, retaliation against your mother is certain, people are all the same as the heart, are the same treatment!

My husband really can't stand it anymore and said to her: "Don't you like girls? I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it, and I'm sure I'll be able to do it. When my daughter's mother-in-law heard my husband say that, she never said that again. My husband and I stayed with my daughter in the hospital for three days, and after three days my daughter was discharged back to her mother-in-law's house.

In our Shanxi Changzhi here gave birth to a child had twelve days of custom, my husband and I twelve days to visit my daughter and small grandchildren to go, my daughter saw me began to fall tears, I in her mother-in-law's home is not good to ask her what, I can only comfort her that after the full moon I will come to pick up her and the child to go home. When the little grandson full moon wine when we went to the whole family, and so eat full moon wine to go home when my daughter insisted on going with me, I said a few more days to come back to pick up your daughter did not listen to me to see her anxious to cry, I had to tell her mother-in-law that I want to pick up my daughter back to my home. My daughter and grandson stayed at home for six months before my daughter was ready to go to work, so I said you'd better take the child and go home! In any case, you are also the first to let your mother-in-law to you with the child is right, or your mother-in-law will have ideas will be unhappy, do not get to the time of your mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship tension is not good.

My son-in-law took my daughter and child back, my daughter went back to her mother-in-law and said that she let her help with the child she had to go to work, the result of the mother-in-law said that her back is not good, the body can not help her with the child. My son-in-law told his mother that she didn't want to take care of the child either. My daughter called me and asked me what to do. My daughter called me and asked me what to do. I said, "What can I do? Send the child back to me and I'll take care of it for you! I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that, but I'm sure you'll be able to do it.

In this way, I have been bringing the child to the age of three in kindergarten before the child to the grandmother's home, in fact, can not be blamed on the daughter's mother-in-law does not want to help to bring the child, mainly because of my daughter, she was not assured that the mother-in-law to bring the child, in fact, in the final analysis, or their own reasons are more.

Your wife wants your mom to help with the kids and your mom doesn't agree, so I think there's probably a reason for that. In my opinion, there is a grandmother who does not like to bring grandchildren? I think it is either because of your mother's health reasons or because your wife and your mother have some misunderstanding between them? I think there is a reason! If you can't, you can let your wife's mom help you with the kids! If not, you can only spend money to hire a nanny to bring up, in short, there is always a way. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to.

My own two little granddaughters are my hand to bring up, because my son and daughter-in-law have to work I do not help bring up the child can not? I don't want to leave my children with someone else! Besides, I love my granddaughters too much to leave them with a nanny! Anyway, I love my two little granddaughters, no matter how tired I am. There are many grandmothers around me who don't take care of their children, they like traveling, they like square dancing, and they are very busy every day, so they don't have time to help take care of their children! In fact, I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on a new one, but I'm sure you'll be able to get a good deal on a new one.

I think that when the mother-in-law's health is not a big problem, the children of the state children with children in order to reduce the pressure on them as well. I am separated from my parents' home by more than 4,000 miles, when I gave birth to my eldest son, my mother-in-law said: one generation does not serve two generations, I do not force. Because of my husband's military service, I have no choice in the cold Heilongjiang Province, in the child just over a hundred days back home together (in the birth of the child my mother went to Heilongjiang to wait for the month) so that my parents to serve, their own return to work. My youngest son was sent to a daycare center just after the first month of his life, and after catching one cold after another during the cold winter months, he was sent back to my mom to be raised at the age of eight or so. The oldest was eleven and the youngest was six when he returned to me. In my child is not in front of me when my mother-in-law in my home life, I did not object, because she and other sons fighting crying let people see the heart is not good, the old man has to be someone to raise, I still accept her to live at home. I don't think we should be concerned about her grandchildren didn't negative out, but should see that she raised her own son. In fact, bringing up grandchildren is quite tiring, but also enjoyable, the child grows day by day to become the source of their own happiness, this is my experience of bringing up granddaughters. My nephew gave birth to his second child. My brother and sister-in-law are both 80 years old, but they are the only ones who look after their little grandchildren. From the photos sent by WeChat, it seems that the two of them are very happy. This year their little grandson just turned three and was sent to kindergarten. When grandparents and grandparents should think of bringing children is a pleasant thing, the child is so lovely, so that their old age is full of joy, should not be regarded as tired, you have the original intention of their grandchildren or grandchildren negative out, but also life to play the last remaining heat.

Now the girl is too delicate, a child does not go to work, but also can not bring, but also have to take the old man, I do the month is the mother-in-law to take care of, from the full moon to the child's first birthday is my own to stay with the child while the child sleeps I washed the diapers, cooking, clean up the house, I feel good about their own home is spacious and quiet, my lover at home to eat when he looked at the child to wash the dishes, I cook, he is basically the child every night washing clothes, the man share a little bit will not have to bother you, but also the child is a little bit more than the child. Now the child is in kindergarten, the second child is coming out, are their own transportation, the whole family breakfast I cook, mother-in-law to help buy food, get the living room hygiene, cook a noon meal. The whole family's clothes are basically I wash, I used to complain, now a lot of peace of mind, I am a bad life, my mother's family preference for sons, so now think about it, although the mother-in-law is not very good, but than my own mother to me, it is not worse. To my children to spend money is also more generous, on the contrary, my mother-in-law's mother, my children grew up so big, but also did not wear a piece of clothing she bought, so. Now with my mother-in-law's relationship is more and more harmonious

At that time, maternity leave for four months, in-laws are out of town mother-in-law is not literate, I want to go to work after hiring someone to bring, my husband had to call my mother-in-law, then conditions are not good, I said that back and forth to pick up and drop off will be a few thousand, with the band can be must be brought to the two years, after discussing that the results of the male called every day after the home work no one to do a job or the cold is difficult to do so, and so on. The mother-in-law is not happy. So barely brought to the son nine months I called back, my child or hire someone to look at that time is really difficult, and now I remember my son in a week or so I get off work to cook, my son hugged my thighs and cried and said mom you don't cook play with me for a while, think of it is heartbreaking. So stick to the two weeks old, my sister said the child sent to kindergarten, just I got off work and saw the child and a group of dogs playing, the nanny and a group of old ladies chatting on the side, if the child bites what to do? My son started kindergarten at the age of two, belonging to his small, their own urine and feces can not get always sick, think of which section is a tear child suffered a lot of aggression, then the heart is hate, a few years I do not go back to the in-laws, and now the child is older, something slowly put down the in-laws have something to do often help in-laws, in the most need of the time when the mother-in-law is not out of the way, the daughter-in-law did not think it is not possible.

It's best to go home and discuss with Lao Juan to help you bring your children to kindergarten on the line, but also you are working, it's not easy to go to kindergarten, you have to work hard in the morning to send the afternoon to pick up the back, and now we are still behind our era, the factories have a trusteeship, work to bring the children sent to the kindergarten in the factory, and then pick up the children from work, and sometimes you have to work shifts to stagger, and the next door to the colleague, to say! I have two children mother-in-law did not take care of me a day, freezing days, they also have to wash the child's diapers, collective faucet, not compared to now have hot water. You take a stone to hit the sky, mother-in-law old, can not do things, no one wants, come back to you, you do not care? Can't bear to ah, take care of not business, not to mention that they also raised a child ah, not to see the face of life, to see the face of Buddha, to the husband to see, because it is his parents ah.

Originally, the couple's relationship was very good, because the old man to help not to help with the child quarrel is not cost-effective, the family good to talk about, all hard to each other to bring up the child as well.