Introduction: When the mother-in-law put up a "I raise my son is hard enough, who stipulates that the grandmother must take the grandchildren" attitude, do not forget that when you need to daughter-in-law care, daughter-in-law is also fully capable of putting up a "I filial piety to you is the love, not filial piety you are this, who stipulates the daughter-in-law must be The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
01
There is a story on the Internet about a 78-year-old woman who took her two sons to court.
Two are biological sons, 78-year-old woman cried foul, the reason turned out to be the son does not give old age.
The court, it was learned that the old lady was taken care of by her daughter, before giving her a rental house, and now it is given to send her into a nursing home, and the two sons, since the beginning of the old man did not bear the cost of living.
So the old man in a helpless situation, had no choice but to take the two sons to court, not much to ask for, just hope that the sons can be with their daughters to bear the cost of hospitalized elderly.
The white-haired old woman on crutches, in the daughter's support, step by step into the courtroom, look also quite heartbreaking.
Women for the child, how much suffering, full of children crying and laughing, in the end, but no one is willing to give her a little money to live.
It is true that, legally, children are obliged to bear the support of the elderly, which is stipulated by law. As children, we should not let their parents suffer in their old age, after all, all good filial piety first.
For human children, supporting their parents is a natural right, even if the parents in the children's youth has treated the children, but the children still need to bear the responsibility and obligation to support the elderly.
But don't forget that the law is for children.
02
A son becomes a family man, has a family, has a wife, and needs his wife to take on many things in life along with him, including taking care of the elderly and supporting his dependents. However, if a woman is only the wife of this man, then her care and support for the elderly is purely a matter of affection, not obligation.
Many people hold on to this legal obligation of the children to take care of and support the elderly, making the situation difficult for the daughter-in-law or son-in-law.
Some time ago, the neighborhood Li aunt and daughter-in-law had a lot of trouble.
Auntie Li is a talkative person, can't hide things in her heart, so her family's affairs she put on the stage with the sisters jumping square, my mother is also in the audience.
Auntie Li's health is not good these days, and she always suffers from back pain and leg problems, so she doesn't want to buy food and cook and clean the house, and she wants her daughter-in-law, who lives not far away, to serve her. But her daughter-in-law, refused her request, that is, not to come back to take care of Auntie Li's three meals a day.
This can be angry Auntie Li, how, is it to rebel? This daughter-in-law on the sky, where there is such a daughter-in-law.
We all say that we should be filial, usually this daughter-in-law is also a serious, how to the old man in need of time to say refused words?
03
The story began three years ago, when Auntie Li's daughter-in-law gave birth.
At that time, Auntie Li's daughter-in-law wanted Auntie Li to help with the baby, and she wanted to go to work to earn money to pay the mortgage. But Auntie Li refused.
The daughter-in-law asked again and again, saying: "Mom, now a good job is not easy to find, once I was dismissed it is difficult to climb up again, I've been working hard since I graduated from the university for a long time to have today's position, with the company also just asked for maternity leave, you help me take care of the child, I go to work, I don't want to give up my high-paying job, I'm working to reduce the burden for your son well. "
Auntie Li still refused, she said, "Taking care of the child is very troublesome and exhausting, and I can't even dance in the square, besides, if I bumped into them, they would still blame me, I don't want to go."
Hearing this, her daughter-in-law got angry, "Mom, how can you say such words, he is your grandson, take care of it shouldn't it, why other people's grandmothers can bring, you can't, you're too selfish."
Auntie Li got even angrier and said, "It's a favor for me to help you take care of your child, and it's a favor for me not to help you, who says that grandmothers have to take care of their grandchildren?"
The daughter-in-law knew it was useless to say more, and left sadly.
Then, not two months later, the daughter-in-law was laid off, and the company would not wait for a housewife to return to her position, which was in high demand.
That's how the daughter-in-law became a housewife with her child, who is now exactly three years old.
And this time, when Auntie Li wanted her daughter-in-law to come and do her filial duty, her daughter-in-law's reason for refusing turned out to be, "You don't even help me with the kids, so why should I take care of you."
Auntie Li was anxious and ran to her daughter-in-law's home, stayed and said, "You still have a grudge? Tell you, far away, support me, you are necessary, you beware of me to sue you."
The daughter-in-law said coldly, "Supporting you is your son's business, and I have nothing to do with it."
Aunt Li said, "Since you married my son, you have to be filial to me."
Aunt Li laid out the rules from ancient times and the inheritance from her ancestors, in short, the meaning is that in ancient times, the daughter-in-laws were much more respectful and filial, but nowadays, women, they just think about the old man's death.
Aunt Li's mind is determined that her daughter-in-law must be filial to herself. But the daughter-in-law iron heart, let Auntie Li how to argue, the daughter-in-law only said: "You have said, you help me to bring up the child is the love, do not help is this, who stipulates that the grandmother must bring up the grandchildren? Then I tell you, I filial piety you is love, not filial piety you is this, who stipulates that the daughter-in-law must be filial to serve the mother-in-law?" Then packed his bags and took his son back to his mother's home, vacating his home to Auntie Li.
This angry Auntie Li back to their own residence, but also full of neighborhood spread, they must cure this daughter-in-law, originally married to a man to filial piety to the in-laws, how this treacherous daughter-in-law even went back to her mother's home.
04
I also heard my mom say that Auntie Li has a daughter who also lives in the neighborhood, just married not long, and no children.
When the neighborhood's older women suggested that their daughter come over to serve for two days, Auntie Li said: "There is no such thing, I have a son is not to raise children to prevent old age, can not give the daughter-in-law spoiled that bad habits. As long as she is legally married to my son, she is obligated to honor me on his behalf."
But Auntie Li, this calculator is truly wrong, daughter-in-law really does not have much to do with you, supporting the elderly is the obligation of the children, the daughter-in-law is not your children.
Between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, was due to a man met, the relationship between the two is pro is alien to see how to get along, if the two can get along according to the way of the family, it can be called a family; if you want to take the points of love to say things, even if there is no relationship, said the strangers are not too much.
But many mothers-in-law, like to use "since you married my son, you have to filial piety me, otherwise my son married you for what?". This kind of rhetoric, to kidnap the daughter-in-law.
They also like to blame their son's lack of filial piety on their daughters-in-law: "Because of this woman, my son and I fell out; my son is very filial, it is this woman blowing in his ear, blowing bad; since she came, my son has not been good."
With all due respect, a daughter-in-law really has to pick on your son's feelings for you.
You should know that the emotions that a person sends out from his heart are not something that others can intervene with in a few words, so don't blame your daughter-in-law for your son's lack of filial piety.
To advise the mothers-in-law, do not put the daughter-in-law and son in a position, the son to support you, filial piety, but also by the law to protect; but the daughter-in-law is willing to filial piety you, depending on the temperature of your heart in her, may be contrary to the humane, but sensible and reasonable.
05
The delicate feelings between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, it is necessary to help and affection to maintain, mother-in-law to help the daughter-in-law through the child's difficulties, the daughter-in-law to help the mother-in-law through the torture of the disease. On the contrary, that is mutual torture, two enemies under one roof are dueling, surely a lose-lose situation.
If first of all the mother-in-law does not help her daughter-in-law's difficulties, do not wait for the month not to help look after the children, and even to make things difficult, how do you have the face to expect the daughter-in-law can be filial piety to you? On the other hand, if you are good to your daughter-in-law, I believe that a person with a conscience will not know how to repay.
People and people are each other, not necessarily you are the elders must be to you from the end, not necessarily married to your son to care about your life and death, mothers-in-law must understand that she is only married to your son, not married to your extended family.
And must let the daughter-in-law filial piety of their own mother-in-law, is a serious moral abduction, filial support such things or more count on their own children.
Imagine, you have a lot of hard work, October pregnancy, from the ghost gate experienced the situation of life and death gave birth to children, and they are carefully cultivated, pay blood, feelings, time, money, physical effort to raise children are difficult to filial piety, and even do not care about your life and death, like the beginning of the news, the need to be taken to court in order to get a cost of living. How can you expect a child raised by someone else to be obedient to you just because she married your son?
After all, you didn't do your daughter-in-law any favors, so why should she labor on you?
So mothers-in-law, don't make it difficult for your daughter-in-law, count on your own children, and please don't take it for granted when your daughter-in-law serves you tea and water.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along with each other, mutual affection, all should hold a grateful heart.
Daughter-in-law to understand, she is only your mother-in-law, not your own mother, she paid for you every thing, every good to you, are because you are her son's lover, love house.
Mother-in-law should understand that she is just your daughter-in-law, every thing she does for you is not something she has to do, just because she honors you as an old man, respect you as a mother-in-law.