The first trick: "back of the ear" defense. Defense mechanism means an adaptive tendency to reduce anxiety when people face difficult situations. In the process of fighting with parents and relatives, back of the ear playing stupid is the basic trick. The principle is to wear down the patience of elders, change the topic and nip the topic of marriage reminders in the bud. In the face of friends and relatives all kinds of soul torture, adhering to the "smart play dumb, seriously perfunctory" purpose, the implementation of the "selective attention, intermittent deafness, persistent deafness" seventeen words of the core spirit, to create a harmonious, warm and joyful Spring Festival The atmosphere of the Spring Festival. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money to pay for the work you do.
The second trick: attention transfer method. "Auntie, quickly sit down, your child's second child?" This trick to be used well requires quick reflexes, as well as proactive execution. People's attention resources are limited, if you can pre-empt and promote the other party to shift their attention to their own home, the chances of hyped marriage is much less. "Auntie, sit down, is your child married?" "Uncle, have a drink of water, where does your child work?" "Auntie, where did your child buy a house? How much does it cost per square meter?" Always be careful to throw the sensitive topics of square dancing, pension, marriage, work, mortgage, and second child at each other in order to take the initiative in the anti-hypnosis fight. It's better to let your aunt and uncle show off or spit a few words to enhance the interaction than to be pushed. Even, there are some distressed aunts, will be in the process of talking about the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship, to give you a spit, say the modern marriage is not easy, naturally more embarrassed to urge marriage.
The third move: reasonable **** love method. "I know you are in a hurry, I understand!" Once upon a time, I had a friend who attempted to reason with his parents when they were pushing for marriage. Now, he's got enteritis because his entire gut is bruised. This story tells us that we must maintain a strong desire to survive when discussing marriage reminders with our parents: no reasoning, no attempts to persuade, no death-defying, and **** love is appropriate. Key point: ****emotion is not the same as reasoning. ****emotion means putting yourself in another person's shoes and understanding their feelings and emotions. "Mom, I know you're anxious, but it's really tough to find a date when you're ugly." "I'm just as anxious as you are, but I don't have a car or a house, so it's useless to be anxious ......" "I understand your feelings ...... ""I understand your feelings ...... "Appropriate **** love, in addition to reducing the number of times parents urged to marry, but also allows to promote family care and harmony, for example, my parents will close their eyes and comfort me actually do not look ugly and so on ......
The fourth move: to meet the need for gossip. "Yes aunt, I have a low salary, no object, really useless!" And seven aunts and aunts during the Spring Festival needs level in addition to WiFi, heating and other material needs, there are also urging marriage, urging birth and other spiritual needs, urging marriage and urging birth ...... can be collectively referred to as the need for gossip. Relatives (especially not too familiar with) the purpose of urging marriage, most are not really concerned about you, but to meet their own burning gossip curiosity. This time as long as to meet their gossip needs can be. "How old are you, what do you do now?" "Hello aunty, I'm 18 years old and I tie holes in cookies in a food factory." "Hi Auntie, I'm 20 years old and I put sesame seeds on dragon fruits in a fruit store." "Hi Auntie, I'm 23 years old and I collect and count money at the ATM according to the beeps." "Got a date?" "No, I want to be a Dink and I can't find one that fits the bill. Does your child like Dinks?" "No, I can't get a date without money, can you lend me some money? Can you lend me some money? I'll pay you back when I get married." "No, I studied psychology. I can tell what people are thinking just by looking at them. Auntie, do you think I know what you are thinking right now?" Young people, ah, take the initiative to serve the aunts, in order to make the Spring Festival better Oh.
The fifth move: cognitive correction (also known as anti-push marriage education). The reason why coping with parental urging is a tough process is because parents have always believed that "I'm urging you to get married for your own good" and "it's better to get married early". When we face the strong urge of parents, we can also try. Often parents only know that it is for the good of their children, but urging a child to get married ≠ the child will have a happy marriage. High-intensity urging to get married will instead be counterproductive: hurried blind dates, hurriedly cultivate feelings, and hurriedly broken feelings. Realizing that our real goal is to have a successful, happy life, it doesn't hurt to be patient and wait for that. Of course (the painting style a turn), the appropriate display of life in the rush of marriage antinomies, may also be able to greatly shake their beliefs. "Once upon a time Tiezhu's dad pushed him to get married, now he's cheating on him." "Once upon a time Dog Egg's mom pushed him to get married, and two years later he got divorced." "Once upon a time Cuihua's mom pushed her to get married, but now she's separated from her husband and living alone with her kids." So when faced with the soul torture of marriage, we can sincerely say: Frankly speaking, those of us who are single by merit, why no object in their own hearts know. Do not want to get married and can not find someone to get married are two different things. To be able to find not long ago found it.