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As of 2015, my country’s population over 60 years old has reached 210 million, accounting for 15.5% of the total population. It is one of the most aging countries in the world. one. How to provide for your parents in old age so that they can have a happy and fulfilling old age? Many children are troubled and confused by this. The famous young singer Liu Hegang, the "King of Youth Singers", and his wife Zhan Yang, the runner-up of "Miss World", brought their parents together to provide for them in old age, creating a new model of elderly care with filial piety. Their approach is worth learning from all the people in the world!
Parents from both sides gathered under the same roof
On September 17, 2012, Liu Hegang and Zhan Yang’s son Liu Muxuan was born smoothly at the Beijing Obstetrics and Gynecology Hospital. The child's grandmother, An Yahui, rushed to the capital from her hometown of Harbin to take care of Zhan Yang during his confinement period with Liu Hegang's parents. The three elderly people divided the labor: Liu Hegang's father, Liu Zixi, was physically strong and was responsible for the menial and heavy work; Liu's mother, Yi Yanqin, was a good cook and cooked for the family; An Yahui was responsible for taking care of her daughter and infant grandson.
The three old people both divided labor and cooperated to take care of the younger generation's life in an orderly manner. As a pillar of the Kongzheng Song and Dance Ensemble, Liu Hegang's work has not been affected at all. When he comes home from get off work, he washes his hands and eats after kissing his son. Worried about the noisy children and poor rest for her son-in-law, An Yahui asked Liu Hegang to sleep in a separate room while she slept with her daughter. Although he is a father and a husband, Liu Hegang has not felt the burden of housework...
Liu Hegang was born in 1977 in the countryside of Baiquan County, Harbin City, Heilongjiang Province. His parents are simple farmers. In 2004, Liu Hegang won the National Singing Gold Award at the National Young Singer Television Grand Prix and set a record score of 100.13, the highest score in the history of the Youth Singer Competition, and was known as the "King of Youth Singers". Since then, he has appeared on the CCTV Spring Festival Gala four times, singing classics such as "Son Travels a Thousand Miles", "Father" and "Holding Mother's Hand".
On May 15, 2010, Liu Hegang started a family with Zhan Yang, the runner-up of the 59th "Miss World". Zhan Yang is 10 years younger than Liu Hegang. He graduated from Tianjin Conservatory of Music and is a music teacher at Beijing No. 11 Middle School. Not long after they got married, Liu Zixi and his wife were brought from rural Heilongjiang to Beijing for retirement. Now that his son is born and three generations live together, Liu Hegang truly understands the happiness of an ordinary man.
On October 23 of this year, Liu Hegang found his mother-in-law hiding alone on the balcony secretly wiping tears. He was very surprised and asked her mother-in-law what happened. An Yahui choked and said: "Zhan Yang's father has diabetes and urged me to go back." Then she told her son-in-law about the loneliness of her husband staying alone in Harbin: after breakfast every day, she took the dog to the park and sat on the stone bench for a while. I sat there all day; I was not in the mood to go home and cook at noon, so I always ate bread and ham sausages with my pet dog. It was not until dusk that I took the dog and hobbled home... After hearing this, Liu Hegang felt mixed emotions in his heart and said: "Mom , I will send you back to your hometown in the next two days."
Zhan Yang heard the conversation between her husband and mother clearly. His parents gave birth to him when they were in their 40s, and now that they are in their twilight years, Zhan Yang has been thinking about his empty-nest parents in Harbin. She told Liu Hegang with tears in her eyes: "Even if my mother goes back and I am not with them, they will be very lonely." When Liu Hegang heard this, he said, "Why don't we bring our father to Beijing and live with us, so as not to You worry about them all day long." Zhan Yang nodded repeatedly.
The next day, Liu Hegang informed his mother-in-law of his idea. An Yahui said in embarrassment: "Is this good or not? I'm afraid there will be conflicts if four old people live together." Liu Hegang comforted him: "You and dad are well-educated and sensible, and my parents are simple and easy-going. How much conflict can we cause?" An Yahui was still thinking. Not practical. After learning about her mother-in-law's concerns, Yi Yanqin comforted her: "Now that my son and daughter are the same, you can come to Beijing for retirement! In the city, neighbors don't get to know each other very well, and Gang's dad and I are very lonely. If the four of us live together, , it will be more lively." Liu Zixi also sent an invitation to her father-in-law on the phone: "Brother, come and live in Beijing, don't let down the hearts of your children."
Daughter, son-in-law, father-in-law, mother-in-law. The warm invitation dispelled An Yahui and his wife's worries. Two days later, Liu Hegang rushed to Harbin to take his father-in-law to Beijing. In this way, four empty nesters gathered under the same roof.
The home of Liu Hegang and Zhan Yang is a spacious duplex building. The young couple left the two master bedrooms with the best lighting and ventilation to their parents. Liu Zixi and his wife, who were slightly younger than Zhan Yang's parents, took the initiative to live upstairs, which saved An Yahui and his wife the hard work of climbing stairs every day.
After taking maternity leave, Zhan Yang returned to school; Liu Hegang was busy with performances, and the young couple was away from home all day long. The parents supported their children's small family.
Every day after breakfast, a pair of parents-in-law carry baskets to the farmer's market to purchase, helping each other to bargain with the vendors. A pair of in-laws clean and take care of their children at home. In the evening, after preparing dinner, Liu Zixi and her father-in-law played chess in the living room, while Yi Yanqin and her mother-in-law helped her grandson do baby exercises in the bedroom. When Liu Hegang and his wife came home from get off work, Liu Zixi shouted "dinner is ready", and a family of seven gathered around the dining table to have a lively dinner.
On weekends, Liu Hegang and his wife took their son shopping, and four old people followed behind: some were responsible for carrying milk bottles, some were carrying diapers and toys for the children, and some were pushing strollers... The scene Harmonious and warm. Liu Hegang and Zhan Yang's filial piety has become a legend in the entertainment industry!
The "421 family" struggles
After his parents-in-law came to Beijing, Liu Hegang's home became a typical "421 family" - four elderly people, a couple, and one child. The relationship between the in-laws is very delicate. Occasionally, when they meet at their children's homes, they can still be polite and modest to each other. But living under the same roof for a long time, innate personalities and living habits developed over decades can easily cause pain in each other's hearts.
An Yahui is a retired teacher, and her husband is also an intellectual; Liu Zixi and his wife are farmers and have not graduated from elementary school. The stumbling blocks caused by this "class difference" permeate every aspect of life: at what degree Celsius should the milk be heated for the children, the order in which seasonings should be added to the stir-fry, how much water should be added to the steamed rice, etc. There will be disagreements between the parents' families. Both sides feel that they are justified, and no one is willing to compromise.
Yi Yanqin has a straightforward personality and listed the shortcomings of her parents-in-law in front of her son: "Zhan Yang's parents dote on their grandson; my mother-in-law uses half a bucket of water to wash a few apples and doesn't know how to save water; when she goes for a walk in the square, They often buy ham sausages to feed stray dogs..." An Yahui also muttered in front of her daughter, saying that the leftovers contained nitrite, and Yi Yanqin often heated them in the microwave for the whole family to eat; saying that Liu Zixi did not pay attention to hygiene and put shopping bags, Moon cake boxes and discarded milk powder cans are piled on the balcony, attracting mosquitoes in summer...
The "voice" of the elders did not attract the attention of Liu Hegang and his wife at first. The couple is still struggling to get by, let alone the parents? In their opinion, as long as they love each other and the four old people have the same third generation, they can always seek common ground while reserving differences and accommodate each other over time. Therefore, the young couple always calmly reassured their parents and settled the matter.
Not long after, the situation changed. If there is a rift between the parents-in-law, they will inevitably nag and complain. Neither of the two old gentlemen could bear to see their wives being wronged, and the relationship between them suddenly became tense. In May 2013, in order to avoid further escalation of the conflict, the four elderly people began to take turns cooking and taking care of the children after consultation, every half a month. Later, they consciously minimized the number of times they met each other. Often one of them would be at home and the other would hide away. Although they did not quarrel in front of their children, Liu Hegang and Zhan Yang soon noticed something strange.
Liu Hegang enlightened his parents: "Mom, Dad, you are reasonable and considerate in front of your neighbors. I hope that the same will be true for Zhan Yang's parents. We are all a family, so we should be more tolerant." Yi Yanqin felt angry. : "We don't stir up trouble, we just tolerate it." Zhan Yang also does the job of parents: "There are no perfect people in the world, Dad, Mom, you also have shortcomings, for the sake of He Gang and me, please be more accommodating!" An Yahui expressed her attitude to her daughter: "We will not make it difficult for you."
There is no doubt that the parents of the Liu family and the Zhan family love their children and cannot bear to let them live on the edge of a knife. After the young couple's persuasion, the four old people no longer divided into two camps and resumed their previous state of managing the small family together. But the polite words and forced smiles could not hide the estrangement in their hearts.
Liu Zixi likes to watch TV and often holds her grandson in her arms and watches them together. The Zhan family's parents felt that watching TV was bad for their children's eyes, so they reminded Liu Zixi several times, but Liu Zixi didn't take it seriously. In November 2013, Yi Yanqin was breastfeeding her grandson, but the child turned around and crawled into her grandma's arms, shouting: "I don't like grandma, I want grandma to feed me." Yi Yanqin felt very uncomfortable, and her words were particularly unpleasant. "My mother-in-law, why did you win over all your grandchildren to exclude me?" An Yahui was unhappy when she heard this: "What are you talking about? You don't know how to educate your children. If they don't like you, can you blame me?" The two old ladies said There was an argument, one voice louder than the other. A pair of in-laws each persuaded their wives, and finally got them to turn off the flames.
The song "Father" was tailor-made by the famous composer Che Xingxing and Liu Hegang. There is a sad story behind this. After Liu Hegang was admitted to the Songhuajiang Branch of the Heilongjiang Provincial Art School, 47 households in the village chipped in to pay for the tuition. In order to save tuition for his son, his father Liu Zixi was busy working in the crop fields all day long. Due to excessive fatigue, he was accidentally run over by a "ridge plow" and broke off the little finger of his left hand while plowing. Replantation of a severed finger requires several thousand yuan in surgical fees. Thinking of his son who is studying, Liu Zixi gritted his teeth and said, "I won't transplant it. Anyway, missing a finger won't delay my work." In the 12th National Youth Singer Competition, Liu Hegang expressed his affection He sang "Father" on his own, and finally received a high score of 197.44, becoming the winner of the National Singing Gold Award. "Father" was so touching that the judges even shed tears. The live audience and TV viewers were deeply moved.
Lao Niu heard this song and the story behind it for the first time while watching live TV. At that time, Lao Niu hoped to see Liu Hegang one day and appreciate the young man's singing face to face. I didn't expect that there would be such an opportunity.
That day, Lao Niu went to attend the wedding of his comrade's son. Several friends from the Air Force Song and Dance Troupe came to join in the fun, and Liu Hegang was among them. The young man is dressed in casual clothes, with a simple and honest face under his short hair, and he always lowers his head slightly. The arrival of Liu Hegang pushed the wedding to a climax. The young man shyly asked everyone what they wanted to hear. All the guests almost had the same voice: "Father——" Liu Hegang nodded repeatedly: "Okay, okay, I will sing "Father"" The music started, and in an instant , crystal tears flickered in the young man's eyes...
"Ah...thinking about your back, I feel the tenacity; touching your hands, I feel the hardship; unknowingly you are on the temples The white hair was exposed, and wrinkles were added to the corners of your eyes without saying anything..."
The noisy wedding scene fell silent. Liu Hegang's singing and Liu Hegang's story shocked everyone. Who doesn't have a great father? Who doesn’t have a story in their heart? Lao Niu was in tears, and almost all the guests were in tears...
The Spring Festival is approaching, Lao Niu posted Liu Hegang's "Father" online, dedicating it to his father in heaven and to everyone in the world. The great father of man!