[Introduction] In 2000, I was in Wuhan, and every night, I started to act naive, opened my eyes wide, and showed off my innocence to those men, while the tips in my pocket were increasing day by day. , at this time, only money can make me satisfied and happy.
Those days of showing off innocence
I was a sophomore in a college. Coming from a poor family, I had been relying on work-study to support my education. I worked as a tutor and also worked as a salesperson in a supermarket, and the money I earned was very meager. Later, I heard from my classmates that I could make a lot of money as a bartender, so I applied for a job at a bar by the river. I thought that if I worked hard for a few months and saved enough money, I wouldn't have to worry about my family, I could study with peace of mind, and then take the postgraduate entrance examination at the university where I missed the college entrance examination. I am accumulating material conditions for my ideals.
In the noisy bar, under the feasting and feasting, the young me had a simple student spirit, short ear-length hair, clear watery eyes under shallow double eyelids, and a small and stubborn nose. , sweet dimples are faintly visible at the corners of his mouth when he smiles, and his whole body naturally exudes the aura of youth. Men who are used to seeing those gaudy women will always look at me differently. Therefore, guests from the booths would often rub themselves on me while ordering drinks, and it was even more common for me to be forced to drink.
At first, my performance was not good because I had never been exposed to such a life. From the bottom of my heart, I was extremely resistant and afraid of the inevitable harassment. On November 2nd, my 20th birthday, there were no candles, no cake, no one to celebrate for me. And that day I also received my salary for the first time. When I saw other people's stacks of hundred-dollar bills, but I only had the minimum basic salary, I burst into tears and hid in the corner of the bathroom and cried secretly. I told myself fiercely that I only Lose this time.
A month later, I met Xu Jinliang. He stopped me outside the bar as I was about to get off work, and asked if we could chat. I told him politely, sir, I'm sorry, I'm off work. If you want to buy a drink, come back to me tomorrow.
Are you a student at × University? he said suddenly. I was about to turn around and leave, but stopped because of this question.
"I have seen you. In the school debate competition, my son's name is Xu Jiang. He is the third debater for the negative side. You are the first debater for the affirmative, right? My name is Xu Jinliang. I often hear Xu Jiang mention you. Nice to meet you." Xu Jinliang stood in front of me with a kind smile on his face.
I suddenly felt scared because no one knew I was in the bar***. I told my roommate that I was working as a tutor in a place where I had to take an hour's bus ride. And Xu Jiang has been pursuing me hard for more than a year in college. I didn’t agree to him because I have more and more important things to face. I have to make money to pay tuition and support myself. Love is not the best thing for me. , too luxurious.
Xu Jinliang and I are inextricably linked because of this chance meeting. Like a loving father, he persuaded me to quit my job as a bartender, paid my outstanding tuition fees without any conditions, and gave me sufficient living expenses.
I finally couldn't help but call him. Is it because of Xu Jiang that you are so kind to me? Xu Jinliang said in a hoarse voice, maybe. Although I couldn't see his expression, I felt the heaviness in his tone. My heart ached for this man for no reason.
I told him that we should fall in love
I think people should have the mentality of repaying kindness. So I thought twice, found Xu Jiang, and agreed to be his girlfriend. He danced like a child, held my hand, and went to Zhongshan Park to ride my favorite Ferris wheel with me over and over again. When we reached the top of the Ferris wheel, Xu Jiang held my hand and kissed my forehead gently. He said softly: "Xiaoxiao, I love you, let me take care of you forever, okay?" Feeling uneasy, he lowered his head, his face turned red, and he leaned into Xu Jiang's arms, with hot tears flowing from the corners of his eyes. Is this happy love? I keep asking myself. I don't know, but at least my heart is warm and fulfilling.
I didn’t dare to think too much about what would happen between me and Xu Jinliang, but a month later, I saw him again.
He was very drunk in a bar. It was the security guard of the bar who used his mobile phone on the table to dial the first name in the phone book, An Xiaoxiao.
When I rushed to the bar, he was already sleeping on the sofa in the security room. I tried my best to get him into the car with the security guard and went to a nearby small hotel to get a room. That night, I didn't refuse him when he was drunk.
When I woke up the next morning, the room was filled with sweetness. At that moment, I was sure in my heart that I really fell in love with this man. In front of me is a small patch of red. Looking at his hesitant eyes, I said nonchalantly, I don't want you to be responsible, but let's fall in love. Xu Jinliang did not expect such a result. He was seriously thinking about how to deal with everything that happened between us. He slept next to me, holding my face gently with his hands, Xiaoxiao, you are really a good girl, I'm sorry.
When I returned to school, I went to see Xu Jiang and said, I’m sorry, our personalities don’t get along. I told Xu Jiang that I had tried hard, but there was still nothing I could do.
On the other hand, Xu Jinliang and I started dating secretly. Under the dark night, we met cautiously in different hotels. We often take different flights to the same city, because in that strange city, we can openly hold hands and go shopping, as if to declare our inseparable love to the world.
Because of him, I surrendered
I love Xu Jinliang deeply, and I am also shocked by his love. He has a fiery heart, but since the fifth year of marriage, his wife only cares about her endless career and ignores the children and him. I heard Xu Jiang say that he has been living in school since elementary school and his mother seldom cares about him. When he was 7 years old, his mother went abroad to study for three years, during which she only returned home four times. The relationship between him and his mother was very weak, and all he had was deep fatherly love.
As for Xu Jinliang, he only said six words about marriage, "Nothing is more sad than heartbreak." However, for the sake of his son, he has always cooperated with her and maintained a harmonious family that looks beautiful. Now because of my appearance, everything has become different. He gave me all the love that he had been unable to express for more than ten years and loved me in every possible way. Although he can't give me a status, let alone a marriage, I don't care about these. As long as he is by my side, I am satisfied.
After graduating from college, Xu Jinliang found a job for me in Nanjing.
After arranging everything, Xu Jinliang and I were in the hotel. His expression was a little unnatural and he spoke very little. I asked him, what's wrong? He just shook his head, it's okay, silly boy, go to sleep. That night was the only time we fell asleep hugging each other face to face. He held me in his arms, tightly, not letting go for a second. That kind of force seemed to embed every inch of our skin into each other's bodies.
When I woke up the next morning, the room was empty, Xu Jinliang was not there, and there was only a six-digit check lying cold on the bedside table. There were five words written on the small note next to it, "I'm sorry. Take care." Xu Jinliang doesn't want me anymore. I can't bear this ironclad fact.
Xu Jinliang, the man I thought loved me deeply, could leave me so easily. And that check made me feel like my heart was tearing apart a little bit. It turns out that to him, I am just a number.
I started getting drunk in the bar every day, laughing and laughing with different men, and indulged myself. Still going to different hotels, but with different men. After wasting my youth every day, I was finally blocked at the door of the room by an out-of-control married woman, and faced with the burning sulfuric acid. Fortunately I dodged, but it still cost me all my money to save my face.
This is all because of Xu Jinliang. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have let myself down. I want revenge on this man who hurt me deeply. So I returned to Wuhan this year, and I wanted to make Xu Jinliang pay for all the pain I suffered.
The revenge plan that came to an abrupt end
At the gate of the community, wearing a hat, I saw Xu Jinliang from a distance. After a year of not seeing him, he had become much older. I hesitated for a long time, not knowing what way to choose to retaliate against him. Then I saw a story in a book and made my decision. I want to marry into the Xu family and become Xu Jinliang's daughter-in-law, making him uncomfortable for the rest of his life. This is the best way to get revenge in my opinion.
Actually, I didn’t expect that it would be so easy to renew our relationship with Xu Jiang. He really has a deep crush on me, and he just broke up with his ex-girlfriend not long ago. The unforgettable first love made us pick up the fate of four years ago and start dating.
I didn’t want to meet Xu Jinliang so early. But after watching a movie at Wanda on June 1, we happened to bump into Xu Jinliang and his wife while we were shopping. Xu Jinliang's expression changed at that time. The four of us sat together for an awkwardly long dinner.
Last weekend. Xu Jinliang and I met at Shangdao Coffee. He begged me to forgive him and to break up with his son. I also told him very ruthlessly that it was impossible, unless Xu Jiang didn't want me, but I would try my best to get him to propose to me. I couldn't see my expression, but I knew my tone was cold and cruel. Because it was Xu Jinliang who ruined my whole life, my longing for love, and my yearning for life. I don’t want to make it easy for him and I won’t make it easy for him.
I had a date with Xu Jiang the day before yesterday. I ordered a lot of his favorite dishes at Tiantianmi, but his expression was not as excited as before. I felt that he already knew something. We sat facing each other quietly for a long time, neither of us took down our chopsticks to eat. I was about to think of an explanation, but he interrupted me. Xu Jiang spoke with difficulty, "Dad told me everything, including your relationship with him... It's not that he doesn't love you. It was my mother's strong character that sought death and survival, which made him have no choice. He reluctantly gave up on you. Xiaoxiao, he didn't want to do this, but he had no choice. What's more, it was impossible for me to accept you and my father. Xiaoxiao, I still bless you, but I hate you all my life. ..."
I stared at him blankly, my lips moving, but still unable to say a word.
What is love? When some people cannot love, they choose to leave and let the person they love find new happiness. This is true love. That's what Xu Jinliang is like. He left me in a cruel way, not because he doesn't love me. On the contrary, it's because he loves me too much and doesn't want me to lose my future for him.
Xu Jiang’s leaving figure made my heart feel cold. Now, I still have nothing. But I suddenly felt a little grateful for this outcome. Everything was over. At least, it was much better than what I had imagined before, spending my whole life trying to get revenge on someone.