Giving birth to a child is a great event in a woman's life. This turning point will make many women settle down to be a good wife and mother.
But it is also at this important juncture in life that many women have seen the ugliness of human nature and left a lifelong criticism.
Everyone knows that giving birth to a child is not the end of pain, but the day after giving birth is the most tiring, and the woman who just gave birth is the most vulnerable, helpless and in need of help.
My friend has been married for ten years. From the beginning, I showed filial piety to my mother-in-law, and now I look on coldly. People who don't know her story scoff at her, think she is an unfilial daughter and even curse her behind her back.
Friends have also fixed their relationship with their mother-in-law within the scope of their relatives. If she wasn't her real mother, she wouldn't refuse her journey of thousands of miles.
On the whole, her definition is correct. She is polite, not deviant, polite and filial to her mother-in-law. But on the contrary, my mother-in-law has a sense of selfishness that only cares about herself. Even so, my friends didn't care, and my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law got along fairly well.
In the fifth year of marriage, my friend was pregnant with a baby, and the most unexpected thing was pregnant with twins.
Sadly, however, in 10, except for her biological mother who came to take care of her from time to time, she carried it all by herself. Husband has to go to work on weekdays, and her mother-in-law who lives nearby only visits her occasionally, and never even prepares a meal for her.
About the time of delivery, my friend's stomach is too big to get up and act alone. At that time, she and her husband went to her mother-in-law for help to take care of her, but her mother-in-law refused, because no one at home cooked, and her father-in-law and brother could not eat.
Mom's house is far away, but she still tries to run there. Her life is better now that her mother has come. She didn't come, so she had to call her husband to go home quickly.
I finally gave birth by caesarean section. When I was still in the hospital, my mother-in-law only sent two meals. Her husband and mother take care of the children and her bed. She didn't complain, but she was still busy.
When I came home from the hospital, because I had two children, my mother and husband took care of the two babies and her confinement. They were as busy as a bee, but despite this, my mother-in-law came, sat for a while and left without even taking the lead.
In the middle of the second month, my mother has something to do at home, and she has to go back. My husband will drive her back. Before leaving, the husband called his mother-in-law and told her to look after her for a few hours.
My mother-in-law agreed, but after her husband and mother left, I didn't see her help for the next four hours.
She breastfed herself, changed diapers for her two children, endured the pain of the wound, washed milk powder for the children and found food for herself.
When my friend's husband came home, he saw his mother didn't come to take care of his wife. He also saw that his wife had been taking care of the baby, and she was so busy that the wound opened and oozed blood, and her face turned white with pain.
He called his mother to question her and got the answer: "Oh, I forgot, it's nothing. I should be able to take care of myself now. I'm not that delicate. As soon as I was born, I could get out of bed to take care of you and myself. How can I be so delicate? "
From that moment on, she understood who to rely on when she was desperate, and don't count on her mother-in-law.
Since then, my friend and my mother-in-law have been estranged. The mother-in-law didn't abuse each other, and she didn't treat her cruelly. She just made her feel desperate when her daughter-in-law was most helpless.
Up to now, my friend said, "I still can't forget the way she left me alone." I have never treated her badly at ordinary times. How can she be so cold-blooded and let me die? I was helpless during that time and really felt that the sky was falling. "
Recently, I heard that my friend's mother-in-law was ill. During her hospitalization, her friends never visited her on the grounds that she had two children to take care of.
My mother-in-law sent a message: "I usually look at you like a dog, and now you don't even come to see me when I'm dying."
No matter what her husband says, she won't go.
She said, "I can't forget your mother's attitude when I was a stranger during that time. Even if I see a strange pregnant woman on the road, I will help her, but she has never helped me from pregnancy to the age of the child. Then I don't have to tell her ... "
Her husband's relatives and friends are calling her unfilial, but she laughs it off: If you don't understand, just say it, it doesn't matter.
All virtues are filial piety first, but before you are filial to your mother-in-law, there is another chance for you to take care of your daughter-in-law. If you don't take care of your daughter-in-law, how can you let your daughter-in-law take care of your pension in the future?
People are mutual, and you don't have to be an elder to be loyal to you.
There is a famous bitch in my hometown village. Her husband is honest and her mother-in-law is paralyzed in bed. That woman is a tough guy, and she can scold anything. Her attitude towards her mother-in-law is "abuse" in the eyes of others.
Walking past her door, the most audible sentence is: "You have today, too. How did you treat me? I'm here to pay my debts. "
The gossip in the village dragged her to the entrance of the village and asked her mother-in-law about her original behavior.
The bitch said, "boy, this old woman tortured me badly at first." When I got married, she made things difficult for me and found fault everywhere. I almost starved to death at her hands when I gave birth, and now I'm paralyzed. Why should I take care of her? "
Then I started, a lot of memories. To put it bluntly, it is difficult for the daughter-in-law, and the seeds of hatred are planted in confinement.
Everyone in the village said the bitch was heartless, but only she remembered her experience.
Human nature is good, no one will show a malicious face to an irrelevant person, and no one can be generous enough to smile at those who hurt themselves.
Women are naturally fragile, so they are considerate. She remembers who is good to her and who is bad to her. This is to lay the foundation for self-protection, and being a mother is also just, partly for the sake of children and partly out of helplessness. After chilling her family, she could only stand up by herself or starve herself to death.
It cannot be said that every mother-in-law is bad, nor does it mean that every unfilial daughter-in-law has a reason. Perhaps, a good mother-in-law may not get a good daughter-in-law who supports the elderly and dies, but a mother-in-law who has left criticism in her daughter-in-law's heart can't expect her daughter-in-law to be kind to you.
What people, what lives, what things, what results. In fact, think about it, life is reincarnation, and everything you do has a double return.
Many mothers-in-law think that I count on my son, not my daughter-in-law, and I am an outsider, relying on my son to provide for the elderly. This idea is really self-deception. The fate of a person's life is to make money. No man can give up his job and take care of his mother until he leaves.
Taking care of the elderly is usually a daughter-in-law's business. The son is only responsible for greeting, and he has to count on his wife for three meals a day.
Nowadays, it is not a case that a woman who has given birth to a child suffers from depression, but this disease has never been taken seriously. Everyone thinks it is melodramatic and eventually leads to tragedy.
In fact, the root cause of depression is that she can't solve complicated things after giving birth, and no one helps her. Unlucky people also encounter cynical families, endure physical pain, and face the hunger of children, and have not slept for more than two hours for a long time. Strangely, they are not depressed.
Those who survived depression, those who saw through people's hearts, those who worked hard and didn't survive, all chose to leave this world with their children.
If women in confinement can be treated gently, who wants to walk into a dead end?
Giving birth to a child is a good preparation for mothers, but those new mothers are unable to cope with everything alone.
Therefore, don't show indifference or even malicious thoughts to a woman who has just given birth. A woman born again in despair bears a grudge more than anyone else.
In daily chores, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be angry, but whether it is good or bad during confinement depends entirely on her mother-in-law's actions.