The beginning of adolescent rebellion, the parents of the most headache is the child to the adolescent all kinds of disobedience, all kinds of opposition, adolescent children feel the most lonely, that is, no one understands him, feel that I feel that I'm a completely unique individual, who is not the same as me, this is the child's self-boundary completely closed up,
Adolescence is also the period of love, the time to fall in love, you need to take risks. When you fall in love, you need to take risks, you need to have the courage to open your own self-boundaries and become one with another person, so in the first love,
many people will feel the holy feeling that I opened up, there is a person who understands me completely, there is a person with whom I can become one, that kind of water and milk, and she thought that she had found the true love, because its boundaries collapse in the short term,
When one's boundaries collapse in the short term. She feels the ecstasy of life, that is the short-term feeling of love, but that is an illusion, because that is not based on a process of maturing the self and the other person's personality, he is not hoping to reach mental maturity, he is just a short-term collapse of the boundary of the self,
So after a month or two, the boundary of the self slowly closes up, and he realizes that This person is different from me, this person's ideas are different from mine, I want to watch a movie, he had to watch a TV show, and then I want to go out shopping, she had to square dance, I was very angry, so the conflict gradually arose, and if you do not go to this time, to learn, not to transform, this love will be terminated, so why do children nowadays break up especially fast, is to have feelings on the talk, do not have the feeling to be separated, and then the children will be separated, and the people seem to take feelings as love. We all seem to take the feeling as love, in fact the feeling is just desire, is sexual desire, but the feeling is not love,
And a really mature person, also do not feel that this desire, is not a good thing, whether it is the desire or dependence, or excessive attention to such a thing, are, to cultivate the basis of love, that is, because of the two people to break the boundaries, come together, and this is the time both sides may give the Then the next thing you need to do in order to fulfill that commitment is you need to keep working on it, you need self-discipline,
When there is self-discipline, and that commitment is combined, your desire, your short-lived love, your short-lived feeling of being in love, it slowly breeds real love, and it can bring about the growth of the other person's mind **** with your own mind, and so that's why this is a good thing that we've put together in the history of the ego. The history of the development of boundaries, we know that the original, this falling in love is just a short period of self-boundary opening and collapse haha, he is not the same as the real love.