Introduction: women, you should learn to reject, learn to unnecessary help, learn to reject the reason for the pretense, do well for yourself, ask the heart to be justified.
01
Rejection of others feels like a very cruel thing.
In life, some people need help, some people choose to refuse, it seems to be a very impediment to the face of the matter, but there is a saying is this, to help you is the love, do not help you is this, and some people, you help a lot, not only do not appreciate, but will be treated as a deserved.
Especially in the world of women, to learn to reject the meaningless things, to know how to reject the reason for the pretense.
Our next-door newly married daughter-in-law belongs to the kind of dexterity, will also be more needlework, especially knitting sweater, the new daughter-in-law knitted out of the sweater than to buy more exquisite.
Because it is just married over, visiting relatives and what needs to be prepared to send gifts, this woman in order to show the heart, to the man's sister's home to go to the sister's two children a person to knit a particularly delicate sweater. Maybe on the one hand is their own heart, on the other hand is also to show their own skills it.
Sure enough, handmade gifts than bought more people like, distinctive sweater to wear in the two two children, chic workmanship, alternative styles, other people ask the children sweater where to buy, good look na.
At this time, her mother-in-law was very happy to say, "My daughter-in-law just passed the door weaving, hand clever it."
Later, her mother-in-law told her new daughter-in-law that she would like to knit two more for her nephews when she is free, and that the ones she knitted last year are old. The first time I saw this was when I was a kid, and it was the first time I'd ever seen a kid who was a kid, and it was the first time I'd ever seen a kid who was a kid, and it was the first time I'd ever seen a kid who was a kid.
02
It wasn't long before the mother-in-law brought a bag of wool, saying that what the neighborhood she especially close to the sister a hard to beg her, to her grandson weaving two, and also said: "people wool are to buy, you have time to weave a piece or two, I can not excuse people."
The new daughter-in-law did so again.
The new sweater was worn out, the mother-in-law's good sister said, who's daughter-in-law how how to do, look at my grandson knitted, others asked, people knitted for you, the mother said, yes, good relationship, wool to buy to go on, the new daughter-in-law can be very fast.
Now, the square dance amazons on the line, are entrusted to the mother-in-law to weave sweaters, but also bought the wool, the mother-in-law face is not good to refuse, they all took the wool home to the daughter-in-law.
At least ten pieces of knitting, the daughter-in-law has a job, plus this laborious thing who want to do, and told her mother-in-law that they do not have time.
This is the mother-in-law face can not hang on, she said: "Hey, you have time to weave weaving can what, people are sent to the door of the wool, you let me give back to it, is not just will weave two sweaters, what is the big deal, let you weave is to look up to you."
The daughter-in-law did not expect her mother-in-law to say such unpleasant words, their own skills were used by her as a good person, everywhere to send mercy, the result is now looking for so much work, the mother-in-law said, she did not want to argue, sweater did not knit.
As a result, ten days later, the mother-in-law went door to door to return the wool, everywhere, said "daughter-in-law can patiently, do not listen to my words ah, I would like to help you, but people do not do, I am sorry ah."
Now, the new daughter-in-law has become the object of discussion in the group of mothers of people God **** indignation, this favor do not help, a bit of humane no ah, not at all put the elders in the eyes of the elders, the elders said words do not listen to.
Afterwards, this daughter-in-law and mother-in-law's relationship also produced a gap, the mother-in-law obviously do not treat her very well.
Originally a praiseworthy manual work, because of the meaningless dedication, let yourself fall into the object of other people's tea and dinner talk.
In fact, a lot of people are like this, you help her, everywhere praising you good, think you are an angel, but where you refuse once, her mouth you are absolutely ruthless demon.
03
Women, marriage, this meaningless help to learn to refuse, the mouth of the long in others, you can not control, but you can choose to avoid them in the beginning, there is a one, there is a two, if you help a time, or maybe it will be made into a lifetime you should help her.
The rejection itself is our business, the choice is in our hands, nothing to be pretentious and embarrassed.
There is another one, my friend, because there is no proper refusal for no reason to be sentimental, leading to a deterioration in the relationship with her husband.
The reason is that my friend met a new handsome man at the party, people handsome and rich, to the friends of sincere or not, false or not, in short, is to start a crazy pursuit.
This friend didn't say he was married, but he didn't want to go off the rails, he was simply enjoying the feeling of being chased by a handsome man.
Not to reject people also do not agree with people, so it has been hanging, every day living in the handsome love words, enjoying a rich handsome to her pandering.
I had reminded her not to be like this, always walk by the river which have not wet shoes. But she told me that she was just enjoying the feeling and she didn't accept any affection from the other person ah.
04
She told me that she didn't really want to cheat, she really didn't intend to give up her family and leave her husband, she just didn't reject others and simply played with others.
But in fact, in my opinion, in the marriage with the other sex play ambiguous, even if I did not want to cross the line, but also a kind of spiritual derailment, and even just ambiguous relationship, is not a normal partner can accept.
Not long afterward, somehow her husband turned out those ambiguous chat records, the two contradictions thus began.
Husband said, "You are innocent why you do not refuse, you have been with others together, to me cuckold."
The friend said, "I did not cheat, not to mention that I am not sorry, you do not wrong me."
"Then why don't you refuse, why don't you refuse, you didn't mention that you are married, didn't mention me, didn't refuse, you are simply willful."
Later, the two fell out, any friend how to explain, her husband finally defined: "Well, I reluctantly believe that you did not physically derailed, but you have mentally derailed, you are simply waiting for the opportunity, the time is ripe who knows what you can do."
In front of the iron evidence, those ambiguous pursuit of information are let friends can not be defended, and her husband has no way to believe that the simplicity of those words of love.
In this way, the two couples have a deep divide.
05
Whether it is because of goodwill can not bear to refuse or because of selfishness do not want to refuse, in short, meaningless things do not refuse to really become the fuse of conflict.
Dryly rejecting others is in itself a kind of respect for both sides, and will not give people expectations or burden themselves.
And you everywhere as a good person, the mercy of not rejecting others, have a favor to help, and there is no bottom line to help, in the end to get a good few, not everyone always remember your good.
And the marriage of this selfish little idea of ambiguity is more to simply refuse, who can not see their wives and others play ambiguous.
The refusal itself is not cruel, cruel because your indecisiveness let people around you are hurt.
The refusal to help between friends may be a thin phenomenon, the big deal is not friends finished, and the woman in the marriage, you must remember that the people around you are to get along with a lifetime, you do not refuse to make no sense of things, triggering a contradiction in the family have a heart of the wall, and a lifetime of getting along with, this disconnect may really hinder the family's harmonious vitality.
So, women, reject the meaningless help, reject the reason for the pretense, do a good job of their own, in order to face the emergencies justifiably, or do not refuse to cause a dumb loss will be considered to be your fault, perhaps, in itself, is your fault, who let you do not reject others?
This article is from "Flower Shadow Stories". Flower shadow story, the story of your heart, in the morning sunshine to accompany you to wake up, in the night to accompany you to sleep peacefully.