Nowadays, most of the middle-aged people, from childhood education is to fit in, to follow the crowd, so in the eyes of many people, only the people who fit in are praised by everyone, and life will not seem lonely.
Under the influence of this idea, many people enter the unit after the commission, careful, only to let others accept their own, rather than in the form of an individual independent existence; after retirement, and hope to integrate a circle, and the same people with their own mingling, as if this is considered to have found the organization, to find a belonging, but so, life is really happy?
The 58-year-old sister Pan in the courtyard said: after retirement, after experiencing some things, contact with some people, only to find that life, the happiest day is actually not the group, do not have to worry about other people's eyes, only need to consider their own inner feelings, to live a life of non-conformity is really very happy.
01. Self-reported: Pan Daisy
I was 55 years old when I retired, after the retirement, I plan for the future is: the morning to go to the square dance to exercise, to get to know some of the people of the same age group, we are familiar with the time to get out of the house together. In my opinion, there are circles, there are friends, the life after retirement will be colorful.
I have been working in the unit for thirty years, and I have seen a lot of workplace rivalry, and I have seen a lot of interest in front of the situation of friends who say that they are scattered. This makes me feel that it is difficult to find true friendship in the workplace, we get along well, often just a superficial relationship, so work for many years, I did not make a close friend.
After retirement, I get up every morning at six o'clock and go to exercise after breakfast, and I dance with most of the retired old men and women, we dance, and often talk about some family matters, I will stand on the side to listen to the occasional insert a word, feel the same age together is really happy.
However, this feeling was broken in less than a month, and I have since quit the square dance circle.
The cause is that we dance in the square dance of the team, the previous dance, with a team of a sister's audio equipment, a long time, the sister is a little reluctant, want to sell their own audio to the team. When she put this idea to the team to lead a person said, but was unanimously opposed by everyone: since the money to buy, why buy an old one?
In the end, the team shared more than twenty dollars per person, said to buy a new stereo, but then some people are reluctant, saying that they come to dance once or twice a week, the cost can not be shared equally; some people say, they just joined more than a week to start paying, not fair. The company's main goal is to make sure that all the people in the community are aware of the costs of the program and that they are able to pay for it.
Then seven or eight people left the team. There were another twenty or so left, and they were in separate camps. This really surprised me, It seems not only in the unit, any place as long as the interests involved, even if the interests of the minimal, there will always be people to catty, arguing less and more.
Such a relationship is really disappointing, I simply quit the square dance team, to participate in the next fellowship dance.
Because I was young, I had a ballroom dance, so many years, the body type is also maintained well, the team has a dance very professional men in their sixties always like to invite me, we dance together with the tacit understanding.
Who knows more than a week later, his wife came to see me, the eyes can almost spit out flames.
It turned out that I danced with this man, was dancing together with the people to his wife's ears, in his wife's view, I and her husband's relationship is ambiguous, she came here, is to supervise her husband.
02
By this point, I had completely dismissed the idea of entering the circle, and I didn't have much desire to make friends. It seems that as long as there is right and wrong in the crowd, there will be people who are not afraid of the world, which is about the nature of some people.
Later, I went to learn to play tai chi every morning, and with the soothing music I played tai chi, the calm and transcendent feeling that made me feel very much for myself.
At home, I started learning to record audiobooks. I had participated in a Putonghua competition when I was in school and won an award, plus I usually like to listen to audiobooks, so I had the idea of recording audiobooks, so I enrolled in a broadcasting course online and practiced my voice every day at home with my teacher.
In this way, during the learning process, I experienced a never-before-seen sense of fulfillment, making progress every day and gaining ground every day. A person is very happy when he is doing what he is interested in.
After half a year, the course ended, and I began to take audiobook orders from the Internet. In order to prevent noise interference, I specifically bought a recording studio at home, recording five or six hours a day, speaking badly, and then start again. In this way, after a few months of exercise, I can earn two or three thousand dollars a month.
After dinner at night, my husband and I go to the neighborhood walk, sometimes go to the movies, this life makes me feel very solid, no longer have to be entangled in the right and wrong, and do not have to worry about these things.
Nowadays, I realize that I prefer to enjoy the peace and quiet of being alone than the noisy crowd, and I like to be full and happy every day.
Seeing that I spend most of my time at home every day, my husband is a little uneasy, feeling whether I am not adapting to retirement, a little withdrawn. I told him that since I started doing my favorite things at home, it was my happiest and most joyful time.
I'm out of touch, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic, and I'll do anything to help others. bus, I give people in need of help to give up their seats; downtown streets, encountered tattered clothes, body crippled beggars, I will draw out a hundred dollar bills in the bowl in front of them; I will help strange old people across the street; will also be in the vicinity of who needs to help, to extend a helping hand.
I sponsored a college student from the mountains to the city, he could not afford to go to college intends to drop out, after learning that I gave him tuition, and also sent him 1000 yuan per month living expenses, intends to have been for him to graduate from the university, so that he can rest assured that he is studying in school.
I don't want people to pay me back for what I did, but I just want to keep my heart clean and bring a little bit of light and heat to others.
At our age, everyone is slowly aging, and the rest of our lives are getting shorter and shorter, and we see some people around us getting sick and dying at a young age. I think spending time on more meaningful things and enjoying the richness that comes from being alone is far more joyful and fulfilling than a group of people.
Fear of loneliness and isolation and go to the group, in fact, a waste of just their own time, and to enjoy being alone with themselves, to be an independent mind, know what they want, even if they are said to be out of touch, so what?