Their own daughter from childhood knows what she likes and dislikes, what eating habits, what living habits, as the mother of the care of a comfortable, because the daughter is so cultivated when she was young, the daughter of things are not satisfied with the open mouth, there are no scruples. If your mother-in-law is here to take care of you, you will have to swallow back some of the things that come to your lips! The mother said deep and shallow, a night's sleep on the past, do not take it to heart, so after a month, and a month, after a year and a year, it is right that I have this mother's mother is responsible for the management of the little grandchildren.
One by one, the grandson went to the nursery class, and then went to kindergarten, this year has been in the first grade, in the blink of an eye, seven or eight years have passed, I am now tired of some old, but the heart is still relatively happy to be able to look at his daughter son-in-law every day, every day to look at the grandchildren, which is the real joy of the family! Not only do I transport my grandchildren like this, but I can see many old men and women, and many of those sisters are in the same situation as me. No matter what the situation is at home, they all love their own daughters, no matter how hard and tired they are to help their daughters and son-in-laws to do something in their hearts are also very happy. Not all children are brought up by grandparents, there are also many grandparents who bring up their grandchildren, especially in Shanghai, if they have grandchildren, they usually do not allow grandparents to bring up their children, they think that grandparents have low culture. Bringing up a child will bring negative influence to the child, although I have different views on this matter, but carefully count and look around, there are really this situation is happening around.
Whether it's grandparents with kids or grandparents with kids, as long as it's good for the kids and makes them grow up healthily, it's right for whichever party to take care of the kids, although the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law don't have the same living habits. If they are together for a period of time, they will reach a tacit understanding. The main thing is that both parties can treat themselves as their own family members and will deal with such things as looking after the children and taking care of the elderly.
Not the in-laws do not want to bring, is the daughter-in-law natural and mother-in-law, no matter how good mother-in-law, this is the public opinion propaganda "credit". In fact, no matter whether the in-laws or in-laws with children, daughter-in-law will have conflicts with them, is not it? Don't deny it. It's just that it's a class struggle to have a conflict with your in-laws, and it's a habit from childhood to have a conflict with your biological parents. So if there is a conflict with the in-laws, then the in-laws will be demonized, and the bystanders and public opinion will brainlessly blame the in-laws, while the mistakes and contradictions of the in-laws are rationalized and sympathized with, which is the prejudice and double standard of the public caused by the social background and public opinion TV drama propaganda. So it's not the in-laws don't take children, and please don't lead the public to the extreme idea that all in-laws are bad, please don't be so nasty and vicious, but people have strengths and weaknesses, and both men and women's parents are also human beings, don't negate a group of people with one aspect, be a human being to have a bottom line, and be a keyboard warrior don't be shameless.
The traditional saying is that the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship is not favorable chant.
Let me talk about my opinion, my family's children are my mom and I brought up, because there is no wife, so there is no in-laws.
I'd like to say a few words about this!
Now why many families in the city are in-laws to help bring up children, rather than in-laws? I think there are two reasons:
1, now the status of women is relatively high, not only Chairman Mao said that the top half of the sky, most families have topped half of the sky, the family is even a handful of days. The man in the family talk no weight, all listen to the woman. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world.
In this case, if the wife and her parents have contradictions, because it is biological, but also easy to resolve, they pick up a free.
2. In China, it is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not favorable, and most of the son-in-law and in-laws have a very good and harmonious relationship. Men are not willing to let their parents and daughter-in-law together for a long time, resulting in tension, they are not people inside and outside, so the water to listen to his wife's words, the child to stay a parents-in-law with.
If the in-laws to take the child, when the mother-in-law daughter-in-law conflict, the conflict is not only not good to resolve, and will be deeper and deeper set, and even cause the fire, can not be resolved, resulting in their own very passive, do not know what to do.
This is my understanding of the issue, I do not know if I have got to the point.
Hello.
In fact, not only is the city so, the phenomenon of rural in-laws with children is often, very common, this is because:
First, the relationship.
Their own biological daughter raised from childhood to adulthood, affectionate concern constantly, the daughter's habits, personality hobbies, love to eat, often wear what, and other things in life as well known. Bringing up the child is the most important thing in the daughter's home, so it is natural to help bring up the child. The daughter of the same understanding of the parents trust, but also want them to bring the child more assured, this is the two sides of the **** the same psychology.
Second, all aspects of familiarity.
Because of the usual exchange constantly, when the parents of the children's home environment is also familiar with the daughter's home to help bring up the child, no unfamiliar not accustomed to the nervousness of the sense of depression, do things easily, usually and grandchildren contact with time is also long, adults and children have feelings, naturally, is a closer a few points. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new car, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new car, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new car.
Third, mutual trust.
Bringing up children, mutual trust, understanding and sympathy is a very important factor. Will do anything to rest assured, how to do can be understood and sympathize, close cooperation, parents and daughters of both sides satisfied. It is in the process of bringing up children in different views, can also be quickly resolved to eliminate. With a child without tension and worry, relaxed mood, so with a longer period of time.
Fourth, the feeling is not the same.
And in-laws, most of them do not live with their sons and daughters-in-law, and the exchanges are not so close, there is some distance on the feelings. From the countryside to the city, the environment is unfamiliar, the home is not accustomed to do not adapt to, with some of the practices of the child on the unpopular, often accused of dissatisfaction, and sometimes on the modern kitchen utensils will not use. The whole day is tense and tiring, the mind and body can not bear, so I have to not bring.
Fifth, many aspects of dissatisfaction.
In-laws with children, not only this one job, buying food, cooking, cleaning, but because of the home environment is not familiar with their habits do not understand, many things to do not let the son in law satisfied, and inconvenient places are too much, such as toilet time is not hygienic, delaying other people, and so on a number of things. Leads to how to do, suffer how much tired are not satisfied, but also affects the feelings of both sides, but also can only be not with.
There are also some life, and the understanding of things on the understanding of the reasons, so that the phenomenon of in-laws with children increased, become more common phenomenon. It's not that the in-laws don't want to take care of the kids, but there are too many reasons, too much helplessness, so they just don't take care of them, which is understandable.
Thanks for reading.
This is not necessarily the case, as there are more people around me who have in-laws with their children. It's not necessary to over-interpret the situation, as it's normal for the elderly to take care of the kids.
It depends on the time, health and other conditions of the two old men, who is suitable to bring up the child, who will bring up the good. As the 70s, our previous generation of elderly people are very willing to take the child, and even the two sides of the elderly for which side to take the child and the dispute.
Nowadays, old people are open-minded and have their own lives and hobbies. Many people are tired of bringing up children, and are no longer willing to do so as the old people did in the past.
Some people have grandchildren in their fifties, but in their fifties they still want to do a square dance, often go out and travel and so on. They are not willing to spend the rest of their time tied to their children, which is understandable and normal.
One of the biggest misconceptions of many young people is that they feel that it is only right for the elderly to help bring up their children. There are even people who say that if the elderly do not help with the children, then they will not be able to give the elderly pension in the future.
In fact, we should know that the old people work hard all their lives to raise their children for college, and save up money for their children to get married. It's time to take a break, in fact, every full-time housewife knows how tiring it is to bring up a child. Sometimes it is even more tiring than working outside, and consumes time and human energy.
Let a handful of elderly body to take care of children, in fact, quite difficult for them. The body and energy are not like young people anymore. We may be tired of taking care of a child for one minute, but they will be tired of taking care of a child for two minutes.
As children as the younger generation, what qualifications do we have to let the elderly, after we have worked hard for a lifetime, but also let them continue to serve our next generation? The fact is that the most important thing is that they have to be able to get the best out of their lives, and they have to be able to get the best out of their lives, and they have to get the best out of their lives. You have to take your parents', that little bit of energy are drained to be finished?
If the elderly do not help to take care of the child, for young people is very tired, but also to work, there will be a great impact on the life, but raising children is our own responsibility and obligation, since we already want to have a child, it is necessary to bear some of this.
For the elderly who have helped us to take care of the children, we must not take the elderly pay as a matter of course, as their responsibility and obligation. In fact, they are not, they are using their remaining life, continue to support us, help us.
At the very least, the most basic thing is to be grateful, not because of a little bit of trivia on the conflict resentment. The two generations of people look at things differently, there is a generation gap is very normal, the old man's habits have existed for a lifetime, it is difficult to change. This time as a young man to speak, can only think of how to adapt, and should not think of how to correct.
We will soon have the day of the old, in fact, good treatment of the elderly is also to do to our children in the see, parents are the best teachers, parents of the words and deeds of the children will go to follow.
A moment of feeling, all of a sudden wrote so much more or less off-topic, in fact, not off-topic, now because the elderly care for children produced too many family conflicts, in fact, a lot of contradictions at all because of the young people lack of some understanding and understanding.
I think there are two main reasons, one is the one-child family factors brought about by the consequences; the second is more conducive to family harmony.
We know that the vast majority of people born after 80 are one-child families, and now is the peak time for this generation to get married and have children. And both of their parents, at this time is also at the peak of retirement. Four old people are idle, then caramelizing grandchildren, enjoy the joy of heaven has become their top priority. It is no exaggeration to say that as long as there are grandchildren, no matter what the occasion of the party, chatting about grandchildren, sunshine grandchildren is their most enjoyable thing. Obviously, whether in-laws or grandparents. Because they are all only children, the struggle to bring up grandchildren has become the norm. Around us, because of the fight to bring up grandchildren, there is no lack of disagreement between the parents, full of complaints about people and things, really not uncommon. Think about it is understandable, we all have only one seedling, and now there are grandchildren, as the old man who can not be on the heart. Often heard around the grandchildren of friends, acquaintances said, only with grandchildren, that is, no matter how hard and tired also willing. What's more, since many people have grandchildren, even personal character, temperament will have a great change.
The reason why there is a phenomenon in the city, in-laws with grandchildren mostly, I personally understand that it is mainly conducive to family harmony. We are all aware that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be called the world's first difficult thing. And in the issue of bringing up children, because of the generation gap, living habits, parenting methods, education philosophy and other factors, more likely to cause mother-in-law and daughter-in-law discord. Mother-in-law is different, after all, is the daughter-in-law's own mother. Mother and daughter, no matter how much they quarrel, no matter how much they make trouble, they will not sincerely hold a grudge against each other. Therefore, it will not bring any hidden danger to family life. This may also be a man of generosity, real life, son-in-law and mother-in-law because of the child's antagonism, it is really not common.
I'll answer that question.
Let's talk about a few of my friends who are grandmothers.
1. Now the grandson has been in the fourth grade, the daughter's family in the field, since the grandson is her hand to bring up, she is almost a round trip between the two places, the child's grandmother in the south of the countryside, the family old and young can not be separated, and the daughter is worried about the child from childhood to speak contact with the south of the local accent is too heavy.
2. This is the grandmother with children, the reason is that the daughter has a cleanliness, that is not generally clean, as long as the family has to go out and return home to the door must be dressed from inside to outside all changed, the child's grandparents are also out of the countryside, seldom come to come to the child can not be close contact with the daughter's cleanliness originated from the mother, so the best candidate to see the child is the grandmother.
3. This friend is the most recent grandma, because the daughter before the mother's home all the things is the mother to do, and now they have a child, but also completely unadapted, the mother-in-law and the mother to discuss, let the mother go to help look at the child, said the daughter and the mother-in-law do not communicate much time don't be in the depression, the mother's heartache, the child, can only choose to go to the daughter's home.
So many are grandma with children, grandpa naturally play a supporting role, buy food and cook, take care of the periphery, this is now a very common mode of life in urban families, part of the in-laws in the field, or remote; close to the choice of the double break to see the children, according to the conditions of their own family from the money material subsidies.
For my personal thoughts are the same, listen to the child's arrangements, let the band on the band, do not let the band on the money, now most of the only child, the children have personality, the two generations have a generation gap, so I can understand the maternal grandmother with the child this matter, as long as there is no contradiction between each other, and live a good life, the other is a small matter.
Nowadays, when young people get married, the woman in the family has the final say. The child she gave birth to is of course given to her parents to bring up, she is relieved.
This is not a generalization, the current only child has already given birth to a child is already in the minority. Are you talking about a lot of in-laws bringing up children, rather than in-laws? That's not an absolute, it depends on the situation of each family. The parents on both sides of the couple depends on who is available or who is more willing to take care of the kids. If some families are well off, both parents want to take care of the children. However, after deliberation between the couple, whose word carries more weight, the decision is made as to whose parent will take the child. However, the elderly who are willing to take care of the children are willing to pay to accept this laborious and unappealing task. I am afraid that there are some old people who want to take care of their children, but the young people are not comfortable with the idea of letting them do so. This is also something sad. The questioner asked about this topic, I also guessed the meaning of 7-8 points: probably to say that nowadays most of the family is the woman's say. In fact, it may not be a good thing to let one's own biological parents bring up the children. Bringing up children is not a good job either, not only is it hard on the person, but it's also a huge responsibility. Daughters who would like to do so do not necessarily want their own parents to take care of their children, perhaps because they are considering the problem of getting along with the elderly on weekdays. That's why they choose their own parents with children, mainly to avoid conflicts with the child's grandparents to get along, life talk is not as casual as getting along with their biological parents. No matter which side of the parents with children, are running to the love of the child is willing to bring. In fact, the old people who bring up the children can not get any benefits. If you meet a child who understands what he or she is doing, he or she will remember the old man's kindness, but if he or she doesn't understand what he or she is doing, he or she won't necessarily be filial to the old man when they grow up. Take my parents as an example. At that time, both parents were willing to take care of my brother's child. As a result, my sister-in-law made the decision to let her parents take my niece, saying that her parents were careful with the child and younger. My parents wanted to take my niece, but couldn't, so they got their first granddaughter when they were older. Then the child grew up and wasn't close enough to her grandparents at all, and was very close to her grandparents. This was a regret within my parents, perhaps because they cared so much about this granddaughter. Still, I'm going to be realistic about things, my parents are really on the older side, going on 10 years older than my niece's grandparents, and not attentive enough. So, my sister-in-law's decision is something I recognize as well. After all, the child is her own, and know who to bring the child is better for the child's growth. For the sake of the child's health and growth, it is not a matter of deciding who will bring up the child, whether it is the grandparents or the grandparents. Rather, I think that no matter who brings up the child, as long as the child grows up healthily and happily, that is the most important thing. Each family has its own situation, and it all depends on the actual situation. Most old people love their children and there is nothing wrong with intergenerational parenting. You should know that nowadays many old people are not willing to bring up their children. Because it is too difficult, with the young people's concept is different, is afraid of the effort is not pleasing to the eye, not as good as peacefully enjoy their old age, travel around the mountains. Then, if their children to the elderly with the elderly, it is best to sympathize with the elderly hard work. They do not seek their own leisure, for you young people with the next generation is out of affection. Because they do not have the obligation to bring up children for you, brought is to help you save money, but also out of love for the children. However, as children are obliged to support the elderly.