People are usually used to using their own life experience to locate the right or wrong of things, obeying without thinking, and never considering right or wrong, but it turns out that life experience is not completely correct, and some thoughts and behaviors have long been out of date and should not appear in today's era.
I say this because I want you to understand that thinking through life experience may sometimes be a smart way, but sometimes it is a conservative and self-contained stupid behavior.
Especially in the matter of marriage between men and women, traditional customs and new wedding etiquette collide with each other, and some outdated concepts lead to one marriage tragedy after another, which is obvious to all. As the saying goes, even the people around you can see clearly, but it is difficult for the parties to realize their mistakes. Instead, they blame the other party for the problems. When things really reach the point of irretrievability, they find that it is too late.
A thousand dollars is hard to buy. I know there is no regret medicine in the world. If you don't cherish that moment, the next moment may only be a fate of regret. Many people think that what he has done is too extreme, selfish and heartless. On the wedding day, he acted irrationally in a rage just because of some "minor faults" of the woman. Even if he was accused, he lost a lot, but he never regretted it. What kind of fault can lead to a marriage that could have ended happily?
Male reader surnamed Lu, 27 years old. His family conditions are very ordinary. Mr. Lu's father drives a taxi and his mother sells fruit near the hospital. He has no fixed income and no pension. Even now his parents are still working hard outside. In the words of Mr. Lu, it is "grasping and eating, life is not guaranteed."
Like his parents, Mr. Lu just wants to live a stable life, saying that he has no great promise, as long as he is stable. In fact, most ordinary people's life goals are like this. There is nothing wrong with Mr. Lu's idea. Everyone has his own interests. Not everyone can be as successful as Ma Yun, but plain is true.
One year after graduation, Teacher Lu was successfully admitted to a township institution. Although the countryside is remote and the salary is not high, his parents are overjoyed and Mr. Lu is also very satisfied. He was satisfied at the first sight of a stable life, but his girlfriend's family obviously didn't think so.
Mr. Lu's girlfriend Xiaolin and Mr. Lu's family live in the same town. Through the introduction of the matchmaker, Xiao Lin is a good-looking girl. There is a younger brother down there. Although his home is also very ordinary, the details are not as good as Mr. Lu's. But the girlfriend's family has always been dissatisfied with the conditions of Mr. Lu's family. I always feel that my daughter can marry a better one.
According to Mr. Lu, Kobayashi's father drives a van and his mother is a full-time housewife. Even if the parents-in-law are a little mean in the future, Mr. Lu will not take it to heart. He thinks he wants to marry his girlfriend, not her parents. What do parents think will not hinder their marriage?
However, Mr. Lu's thought is still naive. Xiao Lin's family attaches great importance to rules. He had a few meals at Kobayashi's house and found that all the men in Kobayashi's house were as noble as the local emperor. The idea that men are superior to women is still very serious, and even the seats they sit in are polite, but Mr. Lu didn't take it to heart at that time.
Later, when they were about to talk about marriage, the old father-in-law took a sip of wine on the wine table and spoke slowly and directly. The bride price was 180,000 yuan, not a penny less.
Mr. Lu was dumbfounded on the spot. It stands to reason that the local area is not a place with a heavy bride price. The highest bride price is180,000, but when his girlfriend's house opens, she wants the highest price, and she still bites it. My family is not rich. Even if it is not difficult to pay the bride price, what about the house, car and wedding?
These all need money, which adds up to a lot of money. 180,000 bride price is simply driving people to the wall. To this end, he pleaded with his girlfriend many times, hoping that his girlfriend could help him say a few good words to his family and lower the standard a little. But at first, his girlfriend didn't agree or refuse. Finally, he simply told Mr. Lu that he couldn't turn his elbow out to help outsiders.
Mr. Lu is a sentimental person. He can't bear to be separated from his girlfriend, and he can't bear to ruin his relationship because of money. In the end, he crustily skin of head and collected this180,000 yuan, of which 80,000 yuan was a supplement to his savings for many years.
"I really have no face to ask my parents for money. In order to buy me a house and a car, they have been busy for most of their lives, saying that they don't resent her hypocrisy. She didn't care about my situation at all, only considering her own family, but I decided to give her what she wanted. After all, she only got married once, and she wanted to be decent. I can understand. "
Originally, the bride price was given, and it was settled. However, there is a saying that dignity is given by yourself. Some people are insatiable, while others give him dignity. She doesn't know how to accept and she doesn't know how to be grateful. Instead, she pushed her luck. Then don't blame each other, but you don't cherish your dignity.
On the wedding day, Mr. Lu took Kobayashi back from her mother's house, and the journey was smooth, but when she got off the bus, Kobayashi refused to get off. She didn't speak herself, so two discerning bridesmaids next to her had to help.
"How can such a beautiful bride marry you home so cheaply? There is always a price to pay. This is the custom here. The bride has to pay 8800 yuan to go to her husband's house. This represents not only the sincerity of the groom, but also the dignity of the bride. "
Mr. Lu was really angry. He directly replied to the bridesmaid: "How much is the fare? Why haven't I heard of this unreasonable custom? " These things are only collected in the hinterland, and they are no longer popular here. "
Then he turned to his girlfriend and said, "Xiao Lin, get off the bus quickly." My parents are waiting for you inside. Stop it. "
But Xiaolin was unhappy and unmoved: "I won't leave until you give it to me." What my parents, I'm not your wife! It is up to you to see who is ugly! "
After listening to his girlfriend's words, Mr. Lu lost his mind. Mr. Hao, who has always been gentle and never quarrels with his girlfriend, suddenly made an action that surprised everyone, including Mr. Lu himself.
"I really don't know why, because her words can't help myself at once. I stepped forward and dragged her out of the wedding car. She probably never thought I would do this suddenly, but I pulled it out without any response. The wedding dress is torn. Although I was angry at that time, my mind was clear. I knew what I was doing, so I told her directly. If I don't get married, I will get out and return the bride price to me immediately. "
Hearing this, my girlfriend was stupid and stood there for a long time. Tears suddenly flowed down and looked at Mr. Lu.
"The fare is only 8800 yuan. If I don't pay it back, I will be humiliated in public. I was wrong about you, heartbreaker! "
Mr. Lu looked at Kobayashi and sneered: "I talk about feelings, and you talk about money with me. I talk to you about money, and you talk to me about feelings. If you are interesting enough, you are smart. You are very clever. Everyone else is a fool,180,000 is given to your family. I don't want you to get off. Hurry back by car, you giant Buddha, my home. "
I don't want anything I bought for your family, but the bride price can't be less. You help me spit it out. "
Xiao Lin hurried to Mr. Lalu's hand, but Mr. Lu suddenly threw it away. Kobayashi has been whispering to him that Mr. Lu is even more angry because 8 thousand yuan doesn't have to take care of the scene.
"Do you know the scene? You know, for this money, no? Then why did you force me to yield? It's obviously your own problem, and now that you're well, you're scolding me. You are really good at it. I'm telling you, this marriage can't be married. I pulled you down, not to give you a chance, but because of the last sentence you said. I don't know who it is. Who do you think it is now? "
Finally, Mr. Lu still didn't get married, and went to the door many times to ask for a bride price, with great fanfare. In the end, the woman's house with good face really retired, but as a result, Mr. Lu was accused by many people of being too ignorant to get married for a little money, which made both sides lose face. Even if the woman is wrong, it is really wrong.
Although Mr. Lu is a little reckless and radical, rabbits will bite even if they are cornered. Why ask a desperate person not to take any action, just to die and be willing to suffer?
Mr. Lu is not stingy, let alone unwilling to pay. He is willing to give the bride price of180,000 to his girlfriend's house, which has already indicated his intention. But in the end, he didn't want to die for 8800 yuan. In fact, the reason is very simple, because it is not a question of the amount at all, but a question of fighting for the reason.
It's really hard to understand the customs that my girlfriend's family keeps saying must be observed. According to Mr. Lu, there were various kinds of red envelopes given by relatives before, with different amounts, and none of them were amounts. Although I didn't understand, I finally compromised. In the end, his girlfriend brought it out again, and he really couldn't stand it.
To tell the truth, it's just asking for money to cover up etiquette. Even if you really pay attention to etiquette, as I said at the beginning, some etiquette is useless and cumbersome. If we follow it, we might as well not follow it. There is nothing wrong with both sides being happy.
Rules are dead and people are alive. We are now in a new era and should have new ideas. Whether in interpersonal communication or in various traditional customs, rules can be followed, but we can't help thinking about mindless implementation. Only by thinking can you understand that some rules are unreasonable and meaningless.
This is especially true in marriage, whether it is a bride price or a fare, it is dead. Talent is the most important thing, and being able to be together smoothly is the most noteworthy thing. Don't use these customs to frame yourself and hinder yourself from finding happiness. This is not worth the loss. Cherish the people who really love you, have a sense of ceremony, but do what you can, don't be too persistent, and you will get closer and closer to happiness.