The first time I came into contact with a child with autism, I was 15 years old and in my freshman year of high school. The second encounter was with a neighbor's child, the year I began preparing for pregnancy. The third time I got to know them better was when my twins were 2 years and 2 months old and couldn't speak, and couldn't pronounce any other words, including "water," except for "mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and grandpa," and I began to get in touch with this group. More parents of children diagnosed with autism.
Every child from the stars is an angel. They all have their own unique world and love you more than you can imagine.
Autism is close to me, and not far from any of us, with a prevalence rate of around 1%, or one in every 100 children.
In 2015, it was the 2nd time that my neighbor's 8 year old across the street from my house went missing. But the news of this child's disappearance came to me from the circle of friends of a dessert store owner.
That day was particularly quiet, and it turned out that the child was lost and not at home.
When this kid is home, he knocks around, yells for no reason, or cries. He was 8 years old and didn't go to school every day, he went to a special school. At that time I started preparing for pregnancy, was prescribed a few herbal remedies and lived back at my mom's house.
My mom told me that the kid next door was autistic.
My mom told me that the child next door had autism, and that the parents were pregnant with the second child, so they gave the older child to the grandparents.
That day was April 14, 2015, and I happened to be at home on my shift, but I felt that it was quite quiet that day, and I didn't hear the sound of the child next door pounding out. I thought maybe his grandparents sent him to school or took him for a walk.
The result of the evening in the circle of friends to see this message, because the location is our district, looks like, I ran upstairs to ask the district director, right, is the neighbor of this child lost.
But his family only claimed to the outside world: "The child will not speak."
I know that the owner of the dessert store that forwarded the message has been doing very well, and I hope that she can help spread more accurate information, telling the owner: "The child has autism, not very able to communicate." The owner was also very nice to confirm the message with me and then copy and send it.
This child's relative is the director of a public kindergarten. At that time, using the relationship, let the child go to try to read a few days of ordinary kindergarten, each time also only half a day, but the child can not adapt, continue to read a special school.
Parents pregnant with the second, the oldest tube less, back less.
Grandparents brought this child from childhood, it is still distressed him. The old man did not dare to take the child out to play, can not keep up with his speed, afraid of danger.
That day, the grandmother was preparing lunch, and the grandfather opened the door to take out the garbage without closing it, and the child slipped out. Every time I opened the door, the kid would run right into my house, and his grandparents would apologize in embarrassment and drag him home.
Later, at 11pm, a cab driver took the kid to a police station, which is 6 kilometers from home. No one can say how the child went so far, thanks to the speed and breadth of Skynet technology and the police microblogging microblogging dissemination, the child was found in time, but also safe and sound.
I'm afraid that the child's 3rd time if he gets lost again, will he be so lucky?
The grandparents are getting older and older, the parents and brother are getting more and more distant from each other, and the child is getting older and older but seems to be more in need of care, more and more powerful, I don't know where the child's future lies. I don't know what the future of this child is. What is the path of this child?
When I was 15 years old, I was in my first year of high school, and my class held a **** youth group activity, and went to a special education school several times. It was full of kids with autism, deafness, and other disabilities.
There are 10 years old, have to be held by the teacher in order to go to the rooftop to do the game; there is also a 5-year-old girl, beautiful, well-behaved and lovely, in addition to a little bit of strange bite, but also to follow the singing together. The teacher told us: this little girl found early, diagnosed at the age of 3, parents sent us here early, rehabilitation training are accompanied by, now in addition to the bite a little bad, other progress is very big.
We all like this beautiful and more than others clever little girl, scrambling to hold her on the rooftop (we go to the rooftop to do the game). I won, and I don't know how I had the strength at that point to carry this 5 year old up to the 5th floor. Along the way, I looked at her red face, which was obviously frostbitten from the winter, and thought that the next time I came here, I would bring my child some Yumi Zhen and bother the teacher to apply it. But there was no next time, I didn't go back, and we didn't visit that school again for our event.
I looked at the photos of the group's activities, and there was one of me holding this child, and remembered. But it didn't take long for me to forget that too.
Just so many years past, and some subsequent experiences, I would think: this girl is the teacher's mouth parents care care more, but also how long did not come to see the child again, the child's face washed out do not know. Or the parents are more helpless, special education school tuition naturally more some, can be sent to this school has been the strength of the parents did not completely give up the child.
That day that year, we, the big brothers and sisters, just accompanied the children on the rooftop to play the eagle catching chickens, I saw almost every child was incredibly happy to laugh. Those innocent smiles under the sun have always replayed in my mind.
Perhaps it's been too long since they've had this kind of indulgent fun, and the simple pleasures they crave seem harder than ordinary people; while the ones that can make them happy are more plentiful and simpler than the average person's.
It's been a long time since they've had this kind of fun.
I can't imagine having a child who is 2 years and 2 months old, who doesn't talk, and who exhibits behaviors that I would have to associate with an autistic child.
My twins were born, 1 year old, I insisted on reading 2 picture books every night, at first I was a bedtime story to put the child to sleep, and then the child made a habit of listening. The whole family, and the child is also speaking Mandarin, no dialect. Big family living, home to relatives and friends, that is, there are always a lot of people at home, but also talk to the child; after the month, every weekend fixed out of the house to play, weekdays in the sunny days are in the neighborhood walking, and children of the same age to play. My family said: I was more than 2 years old can memorize a lot of Tang poetry, and not just talk.
Language environment, frequency of speech, reading picture books, going out to meet more people, genetics, no matter what, I can't understand my child in addition to say "dad, mom, grandpa, grandma", and then can't learn other words. And by the time my kids were 1 year and 9 months old, I had quit my job to be with them full time.
I began to think about autism as a specific disorder. I started taking my child to different hospitals in the city for tests, and the doctors' diagnoses were non-committal and vague. The first thing I did was to ask my mother if she could find a way to get her baby back to the hospital, and then I asked her to take her to the hospital to get her back to the hospital.
I'm even more afraid, began to take the child to find a variety of early childhood education institutions, I hope that the professional organizations can have a way to let my child speak, first to rule out the most obvious one of the characteristics of the autistic child: communication difficulties. But the city's early childhood education institutions are a mixed bag, I gave up. I think no matter what the outcome, the child is more in need of more companionship from the parents, and certainly can give the child encouragement.
Later, as a Chinese doctor said: "They don't talk, can they understand? If you can understand, don't be in a hurry, you may be able to open your mouth, and you will be able to speak more intelligently than others. Sure enough, not long after the age of 2 years old, the older brother opened his mouth to say words for a week, began to use because, so, also such a correlative word directly to say sentences, I learned: this is more than 3 years old children's language skills. My brother has been talking non-stop at home except when he's asleep.
I was lucky to escape, but I got to know and understand more and more about this special group of people - the children from the stars and their families.
Mom is from Sichuan, and she and her husband met, fell in love, worked, and settled down together in Shandong. Usually, there are just two of them at home, and their daughter can only say superlatives until she is 2 and a half years old and does not speak. My daughter only sits and plays with the spinning track and can watch it for a day, ignoring no one. She never avoids looking at anyone. Doesn't react to anything unless something is taken from her hand and she cries desperately. Mom felt abnormal and started taking her to the hospital for checkups.
The doctor took out an assessment form for the adults to fill in, and took out a few toys to test the child's reaction, and the results were all one: "suspected autism", a bolt from the blue.
The father wanted to take the child to Beijing for treatment, and the mother argued, "No, you're labeling her as an abnormal child!" Mom decided to take the child back home to Sichuan. She felt that the warm and sunny town could redeem herself and her child.
Mom told Dad, "Give me 2 months, and if the child doesn't improve a bit in 2 months, we'll go to Beijing."
2 months, grandma and grandpa take the child to buy food, walk, buy snacks; relatives of children of the same age every day, "forced" to play with, is the daughter does not speak and her twitter exchange; mom every day to take the child to the river to catch fish, climb the mountain, watch the square dance, read picture books.
2 months later, the father saw his daughter again, squatting on the ground a hard smile, but with tears in his eyes. The daughter said to her father, "Dad, a small kettle, grandma bought; necklace, sister sent." The daughter was much more cheerful.
1 month later follow-up, the doctor felt incredible, the child is better!
Another 2 months later, the mother realized that her child was not as happy as when she first came back. For the sake of her child's healthy growth, she made a decision again: to move her family back to her hometown in Sichuan.
Now, her 7-year-old daughter is completely like a normal child: she plays with children and has her own little friends; she has a strong sense of concentration, loves to read, loves to write, and loves to play chess.
This is one of the best examples I have seen. It could be argued that the daughter was misdiagnosed - after all, a short period of observation, a few forms that could have been filled in up or down, and a result of "suspected autism" that all the family couldn't accept.
This story of the mom's approach, not every family is suitable for imitation, but parents and relatives of the more accompanied, the child will be better than yesterday, even if it is just a little bit.
Until the causes and developmental principles of autism are scientifically demystified, it's the parents who suffer the most. And what exactly are these special children thinking? A 13-year-old Japanese child with severe autism, slowly piecing together the thoughts in his mind with an alphabetic keyboard, wrote a book, "I want to fly into the sky," which reveals to us their real world.
Naoki Higashida was diagnosed with severe autism at the age of 5, and he struggled to speak a complete sentence. His mother invented the alphabet grid so he could finally express himself. When he was 13, he spoke in detail about the inner world of an autistic child in a question-and-answer format.
"I ask you, those of you who spend all day with us, not to feel pressured because of us, when you are pressured we feel that you are denying us." It's not that autistic children don't have feelings; on the contrary, they have very strong feelings. When a parent starts to get sad and angry, the child is more devastated and may lose control more, or lose control a little longer. "I know I'm different from everyone else, even weird, but I just don't have any control over it."
"Why You Run Away From Home" This chapter, made me understand why my neighbor's kids repeatedly ran away from home.
"I don't go out and wander around because I have a specific goal, like getting some fresh air, but because - it's actually hard to put it into words-. -is that my body is drawn to something in the outside world, and unconsciously goes out there.
Even when I'm farther and farther away from home, I don't feel scared or anxious. It comes down to this: if I don't go out, I feel like I'm slowly ceasing to exist. Why is that? I can't quite put my finger on it, but I have to keep going, I can't stop, I can't go back, because the road never ends. The road will talk to us autistic people and invite us to join them on the road. I know there is no logic in this. We won't know what we've done until someone takes us home, and we're bound to be just as shocked at our behavior as anyone else."
This is the author's self-reported answer, where he talks about knowing of a time when he was almost run over by a car, and how the fear of the moment left such a lasting memory that he never went out and wandered off again until the day he did.
That is, if something extreme enough happens, an autistic child can still control this wandering habit. But in the meantime, I still want you to keep an eye out for autistic children.
Then my family moved, the neighbors moved, and I don't know if that kid ever got lost again.
The main character in the movie Rain Man is an autistic genius who has a superb memory but lives an imbecilic life.
By the end of the story, he is leaning on his blood brother, who is trying to cheat him out of his inheritance, but is touched and warmed by this genuine emotion.
Autistic children lack a way to express themselves. They are just not like us. What they want to see is their parents and friends accepting them, understanding them and accompanying them.
Autistic people, their world is very quiet and special, do not allow outsiders to disturb too much, need to be more patient and tolerance. The meaning of tolerance and acceptance is not only unilateral recognition and acceptance, but also mutual understanding and respect.
Perhaps in the future, when people see autistic children around them, they may be circling in place, or repeating small movements, or mumbling, what can we do? You can lower your voice and not startle them, they may be unusually sensitive to certain sensory stimuli. Don't stare at them all the time, and you don't have to go up to them and ask questions, just act as if nothing has happened. By acting as if nothing has happened, you can make the family feel less nervous.
If you see a minor child by the side of the road who is alone and has a communication problem, please call the police or take the child to the nearest police station, where his parents and family may be anxiously looking for him. Your phone call will help these "children from the stars".
We hope that every child will be treated well!
I hope every child will be treated well.