The mother fully committed to cultivate their eldest son, so that his elder brother to eat breast milk until the age of eleven, behind the younger siblings to eat all the batter. The older brother lived up to expectations, with excellent results into the county key high school. In order to save her son's time, the mother had to go to the county town once a week to give her son dry food. The mother would walk at night, dozens of miles round trip, and must rush back at dawn to join the members of the community in the field. God will not disappoint, the older brother eventually got into Shanghai Tongji University, studying architectural design. When he graduated, he was retained as a teacher because of his outstanding performance. In the big brother's leadership and help, they behind the four siblings have also left the countryside, living an enviable life.
About this I have a deep understanding, my parents have me and my brother two sons, I am three years older than my brother, this year thirty-two! Very early through a failed marriage, leaving a daughter
My ex-wife and I got married on New Year's Day 2009, around November daughter was born, three months after the divorce agreement!
In 2010, when my brother talked about a girlfriend, probably because of the failure of my marriage, resulting in my brother on the marriage is not interested in, has always chosen to maintain a good relationship with his girlfriend, and later simply cohabitation!
My parents, in the years when my brother and sister-in-law were living together before marriage, always repeatedly asked my brother not to give his income from his part-time job to his sister-in-law-to-be, for fear that they would end up not wanting to get married, and that my brother would be left out of pocket! The first thing I did was to ask my parents to give me a chance to talk to my brother, and I was always the first one to speak out against them, and now every time I think back I feel that what I said at that time was quite a bit of a righteous statement!
I and my parents said: "My brother and sister-in-law just temporarily no husband and wife's honor, but sister-in-law's feelings for my brother's feelings which is not like a daughter-in-law of the two oldest, my brother earned money should be spent by the two of them, you let my brother in the money on the prevention of sister-in-law, is to push the hearts of people to the outside, it's not that people don't want to come into the door of our family, is that you don't take her as a family! "
I've always encouraged my brother to be less influenced by my parents' ideas and to create his own life with his siblings!
This is what I wanted to do back then but was not understood by my ex-wife and ended up not being able to do! I hope my brother can do better than me, because he karma this thing, than I am too lucky, he met a regardless of family background, regardless of economic conditions, just out of like my brother is willing to be with him girl!
In 2018, my brother and sister-in-law after seven years of affection finally entered the marriage hall, the wedding is the two of them discussed and planned, my parents and I as loved ones need to do is to share the joy, do not have to worry about us, the same year the cute little nephew also came to the family!
My siblings are happy and my parents are satisfied!
I'm going to look for the real happiness that belongs to me!
There is no lack of happiness in the world, but there is a lack of eyesight towards happiness. Parents only have a heart that wants to make their children happy, and as for whether they can give you the right guidance, they really need to experience and learn to be able to judge for themselves!
Particularly agree. When I was a kid living in the countryside, my next-door neighbor had two sons, and his oldest son loved to study, but in order to build a new house, his foolish parents let him drop out of school just to save the money to build the house. At that time, his oldest just graduated from junior high school, originally the child himself is wanting to go to high school, but his parents feel that after high school also want to build a house for him to get married, so hard to pull the child from the school back. Later, the neighbor's eldest son graduated from junior high school and went to work in Beijing. Now our family has long moved away from the village, just one year in the county train station waiting for the car, ran into this old neighbor, chatting, the neighbor said that the most regrettable thing is that year did not let the eldest son to continue to study. Today, the house that his family built is still empty, because the rural population is heading out, no one wants to go back to the young people.
So, if a family, the parents have no vision, only focus on the immediate little benefit, it is unfortunate for the children.
When I was in my second year of junior high school, there was a girl named Fangfang in my class, and her parents felt that the girl's schooling was just so-so, plus her family's financial situation was not good, so they yanked Fangfang out of school. The girl cried a lot, and our homeroom teacher visited her twice, but her parents still didn't want her to go to school. Now I'm a young man and my son is 2 years old. I don't know what happened to Fangfang back then, but I think she must have been very lost and sad, or she hated her parents because she didn't continue to study or regretted that she was a girl.
In fact, for many parents whose families are not well off, it is difficult to have too much vision. For example, when I took the university entrance exam and applied for a major, my parents could not provide me with valuable and eye-opening references, and I could only study and figure it out with my classmates and teachers. But I am very grateful to my parents, they have always been very supportive of my learning, they agreed that only learning is the way out. Learning is the only way for our ordinary people's children to change themselves.
So nowadays, I pay special attention to cultivate my son's reading ability from a young age. Because reading and learning make a person's mind richer and more agile. No matter what the family situation is, make sure your children keep reading and learning, that's the biggest eye opener for a family.
I think it makes sense. Nowadays, people say that we can't let our children lose at the starting line, but in fact, the parents are the real starting point for their children. The parents' vision determines the parents' pattern, literacy, philosophy, and thus determines the family's happiness index and education philosophy. My child's classmates, from elementary school to high school are particularly good, Northeastern University, could have been guaranteed graduate school, because the parents are doing small business, think that a girl can find a job after undergraduate work, so the opposition, the child did not insist on graduating from the educational institutions to find a job, the income is not bad. However, over time, my child and his surrounding students are mostly graduate school employment, slowly she realized that their own starting point is a little low, no matter the work environment, work pressure, income with the surrounding students can not be compared to realize that the first time I should go to graduate school and then look for a job. Therefore, the vision of parents determines the pattern of their children, affecting the starting point of their children, and thus affecting the direction of the family. As a parent, you should continue to cultivate yourself, read more, set an example for your children, and give them the right advice and suggestions at the critical moment of their life. Otherwise, it will affect the child's life.
Say this is true! The eyesight of the parents is really determining the future of the child and the quality of family life! My husband's family was very poor when he was a child! I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this! My eldest son went to school to learn especially good, until the junior high school, when he had a headache at home to rest, my mother-in-law said that school is useless or what, he never go to school! My second brother didn't go to school for some reason! My mother-in-law didn't allow the two older boys and their father to go out to work, so the family has always been very poor! In the 1990s, it was popular to go to Guangzhou and Shenzhen to work! This is the problem of vision, where we have a few great guys to go out to work family life is very good, my husband's family is always poor always poor! My husband has been studying very well, rising junior high school, my mother-in-law said that the family ate this year, not enough for you to review a year next year and then go to junior high school, then there is no sixth grade, my husband had to go on a fifth grade, junior high school graduation, my mother-in-law said that the family does not have money not to go to high school, my husband had to go on the last of his sister-in-law to give him money to go to high school at that time, the high school tuition for a semester is four hundred dollars! My husband took out a student loan to pay the tuition fee! Some time ago, chatting with my husband said, fortunately, I have been thinking more firmly! Now my eldest son's second son at home with children two sister-in-law working outside!
This issue, I am a little confused, a little unable to decide the nature of it.
My hometown is in the countryside, living in the countryside, the father always go out to work, the mother of the family farming, this is the norm for almost all families, they do not have a high level of culture, not rich and powerful wealth, hardworking, conscientious all their lives, just for this place called home.
In such a place, you want parents to have what kind of vision, what kind of vision is what you say in your mouth. Maybe in their eyes, hours of good study, big find a good job, serious work, marry and have children, is to have success. Knowledge changes destiny, is the biggest eye in their eyes. Maybe there will be a little bit of comparison between neighbors, this one bought a car, that the army as an officer, his children are playing soy sauce, but also between the folks gossip. After dinner, we will still gather in the square in front of the door, twisted not square dance of the spontaneous dance, and spend time.
What determines a family is never the eye of the beholder, but communication and understanding. I have seen the village lifetime quarrels, are not separated, but also seen the relationship breaks down and go their separate ways. No visionary eyesight, no desire to see a thousand miles of eyesight, no philosophical depth of eyesight, as can live freely. Do not know how to communicate and understand, between brothers and sisters will be as alienated, because just the day before yesterday, a living example in front of me staged, because of the elderly support issues, children have disputes, this is because of the elderly to give money to give more, that is because of the building of the house out of money, who listened to the gossip outside, can not be reasoned, can not be understood, in fact, is a two people *** with the same responsibility, rather than a person's responsibility. The old man helpless and bewildered, to seek communication solutions, they do not have what sounds like a grand and far-reaching vision, perhaps, brotherhood and harmony, old age, children and grandchildren, is their most gratifying thing.
What is home, is their own wandering outside, nowhere to put when they can be for their own habitat, home is their own encounter with difficulties and obstacles, you can talk about the place, home is the festive season times think of family home, home is poor spring half of the helplessness of the family, the family is a cup of wine, home for 10,000 miles of longing. A family, know how to communicate and understand, parents can also keep up with the times, learn WeChat, play on the jitterbug, jump up the square dance, the day more and more prosperous ah. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal on your own, and then you'll be able to get a good deal on your own!
When I was 18 years old when I went to the university, my parents urged me to fight 気to take a national university, but unfortunately, it was a private medical school, that summer vacation, it was really not good, they said to spend so much money, how to do ah? When I arrived at school, my classmates asked me how to solve the problems, and often asked me about it. I found out that many of my teachers' children might be lagging behind in their schoolwork, so I was recommended by my classmates to teach them, and I was able to pay the tuition fee for the next semester, and so I spent some time like this, and then I graduated from the hospital attached to our school. But said, if you go out, my daughter may not marry you oh, so stay in the Institute for life, often like the ancients sang a song I'm better than a caged bird 。。。。。
My parents look down on me, saying I'm lazy to earn not to eat, bachelor, I look down on my son a little bit of ability to earn food? People's daughter-in-law line, people's daughter-in-law requirements are not high to earn a three or four thousand can be, daughter-in-law earn more, daughter-in-law of my son's all arranged, what do not look for parents, parents can never keep up with the trend, capable of like Ma Yun, who do not rely on, but also do not complain about who
A family, the parents of the eye, almost determining the child's future road can go how far. In the eyes of the parents, every word you say, in the wording of every thing you do to express their views, are very important.
I remember, when my family was very poor, in the era of patriarchy, the partners of the same age, were called by their parents to work in Guangdong, and their days are much better than my family. They worked to send back money to build a house for the family, their parents in the ridge between laughing and talking to my parents full of mocking language, listening to our four sisters in tears, and my father and mother's words at that time, still ringing in our ears: "If I use money to build a house today, that is dead money, but I use money to let you go to school, that is living money, you read books, the future
My father's words opened our minds and gave us more opportunities than our peers in the village to contact the wider world and live a richer life!
Parents' thoughts are the wind vane of the child's childhood growth and struggle, and today I, too, want to continue to open my eyes and give the next generation of children more open eyes!
After reading the above answers, it seems to be accusing parents of having no vision, I think it is too radical to condemn parents for having no vision, it will be an endless topic of controversy, and there is no excuse for the crime of wanting to add to the crime; parents have fathers and mothers, and if this has been pursued, then it is not to dig up the graves of the ancestors.
My grandparents were poor farmers, my father was a young man who went to the countryside, the family in my father's generation had also had a good time, no matter what kind of changes our family has gone through, my parents in the education of me and my two younger brothers are insisting on us to study hard, the only thing you can do is to learn to learn to read and write in order to change your own future, but our rebellious thinking eventually let us eat the bitter fruit.
We are parents, we still do like the father's education of children, asking our own children to go to study hard culture or will be inferior, whenever we see the children with a variety of "tricks" perfunctory our will, in addition to our annoyance is more or guide the education, so that the parents have no eyesight is not The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Today, we ourselves in the capacity of parents, stand in the position of parents to answer this question, I think you will not question the fathers do not have vision, and should not go to blame the fathers, after all, we have rebelled, just like our children, that we have planned for their future is not understood and accepted.