Good habits don't have to be passed on from generation to generation, but bad habits are definitely inherited.
A few years ago there was a news, said a boy in Guangxi, eight years old in his hometown and his buddies play accidentally killed a five-year-old boy, because they are underage, and then there is nothing to do, and do not study well, early ran to Guangzhou to work, this year fourteen years old, raped and killed a twelve-year-old girl. When he was arrested, he also asked the police: you do not know that there is underage protection law?
Bear parents educate bear children, almost a nail in the coffin. The big crooked-necked tree brings the little tree into a crooked neck, and it will not be able to grow straight even if it wants to in the future. The family environment of a person is really important, not only to look at the material conditions, but also to look at the environment in which he grew up, he grew up in what kind of family atmosphere, he is what kind of person in his bones!
There was a story on Weibo yesterday that a 2-year-old girl in Changsha, Hunan province, was deliberately carried into an elevator by a slightly older boy who pressed the high-rise button and then closed the door. After leaving the girl alone to ride to the 18th floor, she walked out and fell to her death.
From the surveillance video recordings, the little girl entered the elevator with two boys, both 5 and 6 years old, who mischievously pressed the high level and stepped out of the elevator. The little girl followed, only to be carried back into the elevator by the boys and left alone. The two-year-old girl was still ignorant of her perilous situation, but the closed and cold elevator instinctively frightened her. She stomped her feet and cried, but to no avail. The elevator then rises to the 18th floor, and the little girl staggers out of the elevator, unattended, with one foot in hell, a fresh life gone before she had a chance to meet the beauty of the world. Nowadays, the "bear child" is really spoiled, arrogant bear child behind, there is an unintelligent parents, the lack of tutelage is the culprit.
There is a theory in criminology called the "broken window effect", meaning that if the environment is allowed to exist, no one stops, will induce people to imitate, and even intensify. 1969, Stanford University psychologist Philip Zimbardo conducted an experiment.
He got two identical cars, removed the license plate and opened the top of one of them, and abandoned it on the street in a poor New York neighborhood, while the other was parked intact in a middle-class neighborhood. Less than 10 minutes later, a passerby stole the car parked in the poor neighborhood, removing the battery, radiator, and other valuable items and taking them with him. Then someone scratches the body and breaks the glass. 3 days later, the car is a pile of scrap metal that even children go to trash, while the car parked in the middle class neighborhood stays intact.
Is it because the neighborhoods are different and the people are different? A week later, the researchers cracked the glass of another car, and within just a few hours, the car suffered a similar fate. If someone smashes a glass on the side of the road unattended, more glass will be smashed. If someone littered the street unattended, more trash would pile up.
The existence of any kind of malpractice sends the message that if everyone else does it, I can do it too, and I'm not the first anyway. The first person to commit violence is the one who breaks the window, and with the first comes the second, and it gets worse and worse until it challenges the worst of the worst.
Maslow said that the history of ideas is a history of saying bad things about human nature. Thousands of years of civilized indoctrination have established the moral bottom line of man, but only two conditions need to be met to degrade mankind into an animal: everyone around is doing evil. Doing evil is not stopped.
There are rules for human life. There is etiquette and decency, as the saying goes, without rules. Guo Degang once said: children walking on the street, dressed to see the mother's handiwork, speak and do things show the father's teaching.
Children walking on the street, dressed really is to see the mother's craft. Why? In the old days, people were poorer, and when a child walks down the street, his clothes are neatly patched and cleanly dressed, even though they are worn out, it shows that his mother is very hardworking. And talking and doing things shows the level of the dad, the child's upbringing, the need for the dad to be tempered.
There was an old saying: "Look at the sleeves, look at your wife, look at your brother-in-law". What does it mean? A person is poor and rich, are exposed from the sleeve. If the cuffs are oiled, it is a rich man. Rich people eat well, their mouths are oily, and when they wipe their sleeves, their sleeves are also greasy. Can you tell if you are poor by your sleeves? If the sleeves are all worn into burrs, then you are definitely poorer. And marrying a wife to see the brother-in-law, this is because, in the past, people got married to the eight characters, the man and woman do not meet. How does the man judge the woman? Usually just look at the girl's brother, if the girl's brother is educated, handsome, then the sister will not be bad. If the younger brother is very naughty, messing around, then you can not marry, the sister must also be very skinny ......
Of course the times have progressed, and the modern people do not need to rely on these to judge, but there is one constant, the parents are the children's words and deeds of the responsibility of the person. A child's words and actions represent not only his own image, but also his family's upbringing.
Behind every bear child stands a bear parent. When you face a bear child and speak the most basic rules, etiquette, and moral standards of this world to him in your way, he is listening. It is undeniable that part of the population produces children just to reproduce and mate, and does not have the most basic ability as a human being itself. There is a big problem with the nanny-style education of Chinese parents. When a child goes to school, he or she is required to read only the holy books and not to listen to anything outside the window, and after graduation, he or she is required to find a good job and marry a rich man. The child grows up with all the survival skills out of gear, low emotional intelligence, mention sex shyness, do not know love, will not be able to deal with people, and even words do not understand.
Yesterday, I also saw a piece of news, 45-year-old doctor was 80 female graduate students cheated marriage, all think it is very laughable, the product of Chinese-style education, completely no common sense in life, education in the end education you what? What has education taught you? What does education teach you? A stable job? A lifetime of stability? Your life doesn't even have a ripple. Where do you live and where do you die? Animals still fight against natural enemies to complete evolution, as an intelligent life of people, what is the meaning of living.
The world is in turmoil, the older the more living the more shameless, the more living the more ridiculous teenagers, middle-aged sandwiched in the middle, cheating, simmering, not confused. Really can't understand so many people these days. The bear child thing reminds me of the previous square dance men's group PK young people's reports, remember I also wrote an article: do not rely on the old to sell the old, if you are well that's not bad. There is a sentence in it:
I respect the old but not the unethical old, I love the young but not the impolite young.
The upbringing itself is a process of letting nature and sociality slowly rub together. Wise parents will take this upbringing and infuse it into every bit of their lives. In this world, the most valuable asset that parents can give their children is not a real estate license or a lot of wealth, but a social upbringing.