The concept of "Dink" was introduced to China in the 1980s, and now the first "Dink couples" have begun to move into their old age, how are they doing?
On the Internet, there's a hot topic: "30 years on, do China's first Dink families regret it?"
The following netizens' opinions are widely divided, with some arguing that a moment of Dink is a moment of pleasure, but old age is regrettable.
There are also those who believe that the Dink family is no different from the ordinary family, but more freedom, there is no regret.
So, what is their real situation? I interviewed three "Dink families" and their answers are very real.
1, the story of relatives
My sister-in-law and her husband have been married for 37 years, and they have no children, so they feel very lonely
When I was a child, I knew that my sister-in-law was close to me.
Whenever I went to her house, she always kept me for a few days, cooked me favorite meals and took me to the park.
I also asked my sister-in-law why she didn't have a little brother or sister to play with me.
At first, my great-aunt always refused to answer, and once she pulled me aside and said, "Daughter, don't ask such questions in the future, your aunt's husband was injured when he was young, and he can't have children, so if you keep asking, he will be very sad."
Later, in a casual conversation with my mother, I realized that my aunt's husband had been a soldier when he was young, and once when he came home from work at night, he saw a few young people bullying a girl, and he could not see past it, so he went up to discourage, and did not expect to be injured by one of the young people with a stick.
The girl who was rescued is my sister-in-law, and they are married and very much in love, but they have never had children, and have been forced to become a "Dink family".
My sister-in-law and her husband love children, they are now in their 60s, because there are no children, but also give a lot of love to me, to say that it is impossible not to be lonely, and usually the family has a dog, just like treating the children.
They all have their own retired salary, in a few years ago, but also sponsored a poor area of the child, but also to make up for the lack of inner it.
Loneliness is the most common problem faced by "Dink families", especially on New Year's Eve, when they see their neighbors' children and grandchildren in full bloom, contrasting with the loneliness of their own hearts.
2, friends of the story
Lao Zhang and his wife are more than 60 years old, no children, feel very free
Lao Zhang and his wife are my friends, usually often get together.
When they got married, they made up their minds that they didn't want to have children, believing that life should be lived for themselves.
In the beginning, this plan was hidden from their parents, after all, every parent wants the family to become more and more prosperous, to see them have not wanted children, also urged them, but were snorted past, and then their parents no longer care about them.
They opened their own flower store, want to open on the open, do not want to open on the closed door to go out to play, every year to go abroad to travel around.
This kind of life really makes me envious of the nine-to-five, but at the same time, it also requires a strong heart, because often people will ask: "How old are your children?"
At first, they avoided answering such questions, but as time went by, they answered firmly: "We don't plan to have children, so we'll just keep each other for the rest of our lives."
While chatting, they told me, in fact, there is no lack of anything without children, you give your time to your children, we give our time, all the time to our lover, and spoil each other as children.
If I have to say what is missing, it is the lack of participation in the process of child development, but think about it, families with children, when they are old, the child will not necessarily be around ah.
3, alumni stories
Da Liu couple, this year more than 50 years old, do not regret, you can have time to do what you like
Knowing Da Liu is an alumni reunion, we are sitting at the table, Da Liu couple are teachers, they also like to paint privately.
When it comes to children, Liu told us that at first it was the couple's choice not to have children together, thinking that the idea was very trendy, but when he was in his 30s, his wife regretted it and wanted a child.
So they began to prepare for pregnancy, his wife took a lot of drugs, but after two years did not conceive.
Looking at his wife become fat body, Da Liu heartache, he told his wife: "We should have their own life, the child as fate, to come to be, not to live well for themselves."
In this way and after more than ten years, they have been no children, but they live a very fulfilling life, after work, they do their own favorite things, and will go out on a regular basis to travel once.
When it comes to old age, Liu is also prepared, two people's retirement salary is enough to support themselves, and when they are too busy to move, they will look for a better nursing home, with a group of like-minded people together, but also can live a very happy life.
4, "Dink" is a choice, responsible for their own life
"Dink" in fact have active and passive points.
Some couples are active in their choices, and some are passive because they can't have children for some reasons, so they become a "Dink family".
More than 30 years later, the first batch of "Dink couples" have moved into their twilight years, and most of them have accepted this way of life and are planning to organize their old age in a way that makes them responsible for their own lives.
Some people once said, "People who don't want children are selfish and none of them contribute to society."
In fact, there are many ways to contribute to society, and they are not limited to reproducing offspring.
For example, Peacock Dance teacher Yang Liping, she gave up having children for the sake of her figure, and not only brought everyone beautiful dance, but also lived a wonderful life of her own.
Again, for example, Chow Yun-Fat couple, they were married with a child, then an accident, Chow Yun-Fat out of love for his wife, has refused to have another child, but does not affect their marital bliss in any way.
However, Dink families will also have some life experiences that can not be enjoyed, such as:
Counseling children to write homework; children's growing up; children and grandchildren around the knees of the joy of heaven; ......But everyone has the freedom to choose the way of life, the fish and the bear's paw can not be both and a person's sense of well-being. has nothing to do with children.
But such a decision still needs to be careful, because the relationship between the couple's second half of life, as well as the happiness of your family, must be properly considered as good.