The "sky-high bride price" has always been a popular after-dinner topic, especially in recent years, the more intense. Although the state has issued relevant regulations, advocating simple wedding, "sky-price bride price" is indeed convergence of a lot, but still a little heart tired.
In 2017, there was a bride in Henan, because she did not want to live with the groom, the groom wanted to return the bride price. Both sides argued to no avail, the groom lost his mind and hammered the bride to death.
In 2018, Zhejiang, a guy in welcoming the bride, encountered the woman's temporary requirements: the man bought the house in full to add the woman's name, 280,000 bride price to add another 180,000 yuan. The original happy event completely changed flavor, the groom turned back, but also to get back the bride price to the public court.
Why is the tragedy so frequent when it is supposed to be a happy event? In addition to the patriarchal, more men than women, rising prices, that is the reason for comparing each other. There was a father who said openly: "Other people marry their daughters are more than 100,000 dollars, why my daughter is only worth a few million?" Enough to see now seemingly "sell their daughters," the practice of comparison.
And my classmate's mother, Auntie Liu, seems to be swimming upstream from these "deep mire", living a different way of thinking, so that the shimmering light of all kinds of reality is used to tragedy, but also can not help but marvel at the open-mindedness of her.
When the student first fell in love, Auntie Liu recited to her: "To have independent economic ability, earn their own money to spend, do not always think of taking advantage of the boy, let people look down."
Schoolmates talk about marriage, Aunt Liu and said: "small life is ultimately to be your own to live, don't always think of letting your mother-in-law to help, the old man's obligation is to put the children up, now the task is completed, can not ask for so much, it should be allowed to enjoy the blessing of them."
All around my peers seem to be married well, this bride price of more than 20-30 million, that buy a house and car written in the name of the woman, everyone seems to be competing to make themselves look married not too bad.
At the engagement party, the man's family was also careful to ask: "How much is the bride price? How big is the house? The woman's name will be written on it? Our old couple has only saved enough money for a suite of rooms for their entire lives......."
Aunt Liu was straightforward: "You two have saved up for a lifetime to buy a house, why write your daughter-in-law's name? She didn't pay for it! There's no reason to do that," she said, taking the whole family by surprise.
Aunt Liu continued: "Whether it's the daughter or the uncle, it's your own child, the heart of the hand is flesh, biting either side hurts! I'm only prepared to marry my daughter's dowry, as for the in-laws what you take to the young couple, that's your business, I don't care.
I only ask for one thing, if in order to let the child get married, and affect the standard of living of the two of you, I will be the first to disapprove! Just live within your means!"
Amidst the chatter, Auntie Liu's ideas seemed out of place, but she continued to stand her ground and not follow the crowd.
Everyone scolded her silly, she did not feel: "their beloved children get married, surely all want to be beautiful, but there is a length of fingers, the ability to have high and low, moderation on the line, can not be a wedding, the old man a lifetime ride in!" Everyone is dumbfounded.
There is a saying in the countryside: "If your son gets married, your mother and father will have to take off their skin". For example, in the east of our small city, the woman wants a bride price of 200,000 yuan, and three gold diamond rings, the main thing is to have a suite in the county.
And the parents are mostly farmers with a low level of education, all day long face to face, it is not easy to bring up children, half a lifetime to save money is not enough to buy a house plus the bride price, but also the East and West owes a butt of debt.
No matter whose family's children are unique, in order to let others see their own children's "scenery", the first half of their lives to save money to save all the children, the second half of their lives to continue to pay off the debt, can be said to be their whole life are dedicated to out, but the whole society as a right to be taken for granted.
Backed by the "sky-high bride price", how can the old couple's backs not bend?
Aunt Liu is to peel off the facts to see the essence, really to stand in the position of the other side, put themselves in the shoes of the other side of the same parents.
Whether the young couple will be rich or poor, fulfilled or lazy, good or bad, it is up to them to go there. The old man is always afraid of young people suffer, try to empty themselves to fill the children, but rarely for their own consideration. The end result is that young people gnaw on the old gnawed as a matter of course, the old man lived more hard.
Once a very strange thing happened: 31-year-old man with a fake driver's license was investigated, the parents even blurted out: "He is still a child ah!" When I was a child, I let my parents worry about me, I had to spend all my parents' savings to get married, and in my 30s, I was still being pampered by my parents, and when I was old, how long could my parents pamper me?
I'd even rather have my parents be like what Auntie Liu said, that the parents fund you, but on the premise of not affecting the parents' normal life. Whether it's the bride price for marriage, or buying a house or car, moderation is all that's needed to stay within the limits of your financial situation.
The days of the young couple are ultimately to live by themselves, and everything in life is to be earned.
Parents will eventually have the old day, the children are afraid that more willing to let their parents in the hard work of half a lifetime, really want to live their own lives, dancing, travel, flowers, rather than continue to get up early to make money to pay back nearly swallowed their own holes.