2. Two tomatoes crossing the road, a car sped by, one of them dodged too late to be flattened, the other tomato pointed to the flattened tomato laughed: dig hahahaha, tomato sauce ...
3. The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!!!" Guess what?
The big bad wolf ended up eating the lamb.
4. The stone and the rice cake fought, the stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea ............
Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private promise of marriage, but the boy needed to serve in the army, so he made a vow with the girl and gave her a diamond ring, and promised to give her a diamond ring in the future, and promised to give her a diamond ring in the future. The first time I saw the ring, I was able to see the girl in three years, and then I was able to see the girl in three years, and then I was able to see the girl in three years. After three years, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but has not been able to wait, she was too sad, desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea, far away from home. However, the boy in fact has been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date place, so it will forever become regret. The boy was heartbroken... After a few years, the boy went fishing, and guess what he caught?
Rice cakes!!!!
5. Are dumplings for boys or girls
Answer Boys because dumplings have a wrapper
6. There was a duck named Little Yellow, and one day he was hit by a car, and he screamed, "Quack!" And he's been a little cucumber ever since!!!!
7. Matchstick suddenly felt an itch on his head, so he reached out to scratch it, and as he did so, he burned himself to death...
8. Once upon a time, once upon a time, there was a bird
who passed by a field of corn every day
but unfortunately
one day a fire broke out in that field
and all the corn all turned into popcorn
After the bird flew past ......
Thinking it was snowing, it got cold...
9. When will Taiwan want to unify?
Buying instant noodles
10. Ah Song and Ah Pak were chatting about nothing and said to each other that the years have not been kind to each other.
Ah Song: "Remembering my childhood, the happiest time I had was Children's Day."
Apai: "After ten years, it's Youth Day."
Azon: "After ten more years it's Father's Day."
Arbor: "In a couple decades it will be Old Man's Day."
Ah Song: "Another couple more decades."
Apai: "Qingming Festival."
11. Soldiers: "Thirsty ...... Thirsty ......"
Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on a little longer! I've been to this place before, and I remember there's a plum forest nearby, so if we walk a little further, we might be there."
Soldiers: "Oh ￣￣￣￣ there's plums to eat! -Cao Ren: "My Lord! The expedition has found a large amount of water!"
Cao Cao: "Hahahahaha, did you hear that? Finally there is water to drink."
The soldiers: "Do not go ...... must find the plum ......" 12.A girl fell out of love, I advised her: "two-legged toad is not good to find, three-legged men have plenty of ah!"
13. One day Xiao Qiang asked his dad: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"
14. A steak that was medium rare and a steak that was medium rare met on the street, why didn't they say hello? (Assuming they could talk)
Because ....................
Because ........................
Because neither of them is cooked well~~ ~~~~~~
15. Q: How do you quiet a sparrow?
Answer: press it a little.
Reason: crows are silent (press the sparrow).
16. A college student was unfortunately captured by the enemy, who tied him to a pole and then asked him, "Say, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I'll electrocute you!!!" This college student said something back to the enemy and ended up being electrocuted ......
He said, "I'm from the University of Electricity!"
17. A: "I'll take you to a place where all the girls don't wear bras."
B: "Really? Where? Take me there!"
A: "It's right next door to the kindergarten!"
18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of the Happy Dictionary program, interviewed a viewer of the program and asked, "Which female host do you admire most in your mind?" The audience said: "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked, "Why do you say that?" The audience said, "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!"
19. Do you know what color Spiderman is?
Red, wrong!
It's white.
If you don't believe me, read the English word for Spider-Man: spider man (是白的人)
20.Why did Ming fall down?
Please think twice ........................... .....
Because the floor is slippery
21. A group of animals rushed into a 7-11 convenience store to buy something after a party, and because it was too noisy, they were all beaten out by the clerk, but the sheep was left alone in the store.
Convenience stores do not close 24 hours ah .........
22. Glasses and coffee cups together across the street, suddenly someone shouted: the car is coming!
The glass was hit by the car, but the coffee cup was fine.
The coffee cup has ears!
23. A horse said, "My company is proud to introduce a new product, Horse Fart No. 3, or MP3 for short...
24. I hate two kinds of people:
One is racist;
The second one is black;
The third one is not able to read and write!
25. I would like to thank Ozawa Yuan, Asahi Ran, Nagase Ai, Mitsutake Ryoko, Takagi Maria, Kawamoto Mai, Sadagi Hitomi, Natsuki Miyuki, Serizushi Naomi, Shiraishi, Kudo Aoi, Koyamauchi Mayu, Kishikawa Miho, Nishida Tomoki, Sawai Aya, Fujisaki Aihana, Yezan Mizuki-chan, Inoue Chihiro, Matsumura, Yuki, and Izumi Shizuka for their work, and for all the other people that I know and don't know, who have been in my computer and are now gone. I know the names of these exotic friends who used to be in my computer and whose names have now been deleted or are still in my computer: they were the ones who accompanied me through the lonely nights; they comforted me when I was in the worst of my spirits; they made me feel the pleasure of playing CS when I was exhausted; they made me feel high when I was in a state of depression and had no sense of humor!
26. The accuracy of earthquake prediction has really improved a lot, and this time there are only two words missing: prediction in "Heilongjiang", but the result is in "Jiujiang"!
27. Zhang Liangying said: "The fans who worship me all say - idol called Ying"
He Jie said: "The fans who worship me all say - idol called Jie. -Idol's idol is called Jie"
Zhou Penchang said, "Fans who worship me all say -Idol's idol is called Chang."
Li Yuchun said: "You guys chat, I'm leaving first!"
28. Five Fuwa got together to chat.
Beibei suggested: Let's give ourselves a nickname, I'll be called "Beiwa"!
Jingjing: I'll be called Jingwa!
Huanhuan: I'll call her "Huanwa"!
NiNi: I'll be called "NiWa"!
YingYing stood up and said: you guys talk, I have something to do, I'm leaving first ......
That is to say, in the year 2058, the five FuWa got together again to talk.
Beibei: Let's talk about my nickname, people respect me and call me "Master Bei"!
Huanhuan: People call me "Master Huan"!
Nini: People call me "Master Nini"!
YingYing: People call me "Master YingYing"!
JingJing stood up and said: "You guys talk, I have something to do, I'm leaving first. ......
29. Winter is here, I decided to keep the habit of taking cold baths, but as I washed, I realized that I had changed back to the way I used to be in my childhood!
30. Celery walking, suddenly felt a pain in the stomach, and then he "blah" sound, you say he pulled out what ~~? That is the celery dung (diligence)! What color is celery dung?
Answer:yellow
Because : Qin Shi Huang (celery shit yellow)
31.There is a fat man ....
Jumped from the top of the 20th floor ....
The result was .....
Dead fat guy!!!!
32. Once upon a time there was a loaf of bread, and when it felt hungry, it ate itself.
Once upon a time there was a glass of beer, and when it felt thirsty, it drank itself....
Once upon a time there was a virgin, she felt tired and put herself to sleep ....
33.Who is the ancestor of man
It's a peanut because Peanut kernel~~~
34.Which of the ancient characters is considered white collar?
Men's mother moved three times (thousand)
35.Zhang Fei: "Old thief stop!"
Yan Yan: "Ring-eyed thief! Dismount and suffer death!"
Police car: "Listen two thieves~~~You have been surrounded~~~put down your weapons ......"
36.How did the ants die after falling from the Himalayan mountain?
Answer: Starvation. It takes a long time to float down because it's so light...
37.The World's Most KB Diary
The old bear was about to write his diary when he realized that he had run out of journals, and he wanted to go out and buy another one to come back and write in, but it was already twelve o'clock at night. But he got on his bicycle and looked for it in the dark streets. After looking for a long time he finally found a bookstore that was still open and went in. There was a diary he liked very much, so he asked the owner how much it cost.
The owner said in a very low voice, "It's imported and priced at 70 yuan ......"
The old bear said, "That's expensive, but I only have 50 yuan to bring out. "
The boss said, "It's okay, I'll give you 50 yuan."
The old bear said happily, "Thank you, boss."
The boss said again in a very low and eerie voice, "When you buy it back, don't turn the last page, or something very KB will happen, don't blame me for not reminding you then!"
The old bear said, "Well, I know."
Old Bear got his diary home, he took the wrapping off and put it on the table in front of the window in his room. At this time he wanted to take a shower before coming out to write the diary ......
After the shower, the old bear found that the window in front of the desk was opened, and the wind blew the diary page by page open ......fast to the last page, the old bear went up to stop, but it was already It was too late, the last page was still blown open by the wind
KB thing happened...... only to see the old bear screamed, because he saw the last page wrote:
(Please scroll down)
.
................. Pull again...
.
.
.
.
Keep pulling ....
.
.
.
. Almost there, pull a little more...
.
.
.
.
.
That's it, a little bit of pull at the end...
.
.
.
.
The last page reads --- Pricing: 3 yuan
39. Once upon a time, there was a Simmons in the closed eyes, suddenly felt as if something was missing,
Thinking about it, I heard the doorbell ringing, opened the door to see the original is the electric carpet has just finished the appointment came back,
Simmons hugged the electric carpet and said:
The electric carpet said:
Simmons hugged the electric carpet and said.
Simmons hugged the electric blanket and said:
Brother ~~ you can come back, I'm cold ~~~
40.A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese to work in the mine.
The boss, an American, said to the German, "You're in good shape, you're in charge of the hard labor."
To the Frenchman, he said, "You say you're an engineer, and you're in charge of the plans for the mine."
And to the Japanese he said, "You are small. You are in charge of supplies."
Then every other week they started work.
A few days later the Germans and the French realized that the Japanese had disappeared, and after searching for them for a long time they decided to go back to work.
As the Germans began to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and
shouted:
"Surprise!"
41. There was a polar bear and a penguin fooling around together, and the penguin pulled the hairs off his body one by one, and when he was done, he said to the polar bear:
"It's cold! "
The polar bear heard this, and also pulled the hairs off his body one by one, and turned to the penguin and said, "It sure is cold!"
42. There is a hide-and-seek society, the head of their regiment has not been found now .........
43. Xiao Hong asked: you stir the coffee with your right hand or left hand
Small beauty said: right hand
Small red said: oh, you're good Oh, all You're not afraid of scalding, like me, I use a spoon.
44. Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?
Because it's colder there .....
45. There was a snack store selling dumplings that had no business,
so she went to ask the master what to do,
and the master said: you have to find a fresh corpse and wrap its meat into dumplings,
and then sell it so that business will be good, but tell the people in their family not to eat this kind of dumplings or else there will be a very KB thing. happen.
The owner tried it and it worked really well,
so she went back to the body.
The next day her son wanted to bring a lunchbox,
but he couldn't find it, so he went to the refrigerator to look for it.
The result was that he found a lunchbox which he thought was his and took it away.
He didn't realize that the box was filled with his father's leftover gyoza.
He lifted it up to look at it at noon, and was shocked to see that it had been 10 gyoza in the morning.
Why did it immediately turn into 5?
He tried to put the lid back on and then lifted it back up and it became two again!
Do you know why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the dumplings stick to the lid.
46. A lumberjack applies for a job
Foreman:Try the woods in front of you...see how many trees you can saw a minute .....
After a minute ....
Foreman:Wow .... 20 trees a minute .... That's awesome ..... Where did you work before?
Worker:Sahara Forest......
Foreman:I've never heard ofㄝ......I've only heard of the Sahara Desert......... ........
Worker:Yes..... The name was changed!
47. Wife:I was so blind that I stepped on a piece of shit to marry you.
Husband:I was really blind and stepped on shit to marry you.
Shit: I'm so unlucky! Lying there are you two to step on ......
48.Tell a story, once upon a time there is a pair of lovers private life, but the boy needs to serve in the army, so he and the girl made a vow, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised in three years after the day to meet with the girl, then, the ring as a wedding ring.
Well 3 years passed, the boys on the boat back to their hometown but heard the news of the woman's marriage, he was too sad, desperate to throw the diamond ring into the sea, three days later, the ship docked. Boys go to the street restaurant to eat. A fish is served. He picks up the fish and bites it, bites into a hard thing, spits it out and looks at it, guess what he sees
Fish bones !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
51.Once upon a time, there was a horse! It ran and fell into the sea.
So he became a "sea horse"!
The horse's other horse friend, who was trying to find the horse that fell into the sea, ended up falling into the river. Then he became a hippopotamus.
The third horse was a white horse. The third horse was a white horse that came to the city in a traffic jam to find his two missing friends.
It was run over by several cars in a row, causing several black stripes to appear on its body.
As a result, it becomes a zebra!
The fourth horse, in search of his three companions, came to a factory one day and was transformed into an "iron horse".
But later, those horses are still hard to escape the fate of being eaten, all of them were made into a "Shaki horse", the ravages of the reach, all the horses were not spared, into a world without horses ......
Then, a group of people saw this joke after Couldn't help but say, "Horse's ~ that's cold".
Finally, in honor of the joke, someone made a lesson out of it, and we called it the "Horse Race Lesson"!
52. One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend...
This is the first time he's done this.
He cried and cried and cried ．．．．
They were very sad and cried all the time...
They were very sad and cried all the time....
The result....
He...he...he...he...he...he...he...he...
Shooting...
Buds...
Sprouted...
53. One day, a black turd saw a white turd,
and the black turd asked, "Why are you so white and beautiful?
The white poop was very angry when he heard this!
He said, I'm not a poop! I'm ice cream!!!!
54.A cat found a mouse ....
So he rushed at the mouse like a hungry tiger to eat it
But then the cat was eaten by the mouse .....
Why
Because
The tiger, the mouse, and the cat couldn't tell each other apart
55. A software company was hiring
On this day, a dog came to apply for the job, and the supervisor was so depressed that he wanted to kick the dog out. The dog took out a piece of paper and a pen, and neatly wrote a few words: Please don't discriminate against animals.
The supervisor knew this was no ordinary dog, and out of curiosity he decided to give it a try.
The chief executive took out the terms and conditions of the job application, which read: 1. must be able to type. 2. must be able to program. 3. proficient in at least one foreign language.
So the dog went to the computer and skillfully typed an article and wrote a very complicated program. Then came to the front of the supervisor and said to him, Meow!
56. The toothpaste girl is always on the prowl
One minute she's dating the soft-bristled toothbrush guy
One minute she's in love with the electric toothbrush guy
Today there's a new neighbor
The toothpaste girl: "wow, you're so tall and you're so stylish~What's your name~Do you want to go on a date with me?
57. One day the animals smelled a very bad odor in front of the temple of Guan Gong.
The snake said, "I'm too small to fart that badly, it must be a cow.
The cow said, "I'm a grass eater I wouldn't fart so bad."
The pig said, "Whoever farted must have blushed."
Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out and knocked the pig off its feet and said, "How many times have I told you, I was born blushing."
60.Xiaoming owes 200,000 to the underground money bank,
Small Ming begged him bitterly to let him have a few more days,
The money banker said: "You must pay back tomorrow, or else ...... chop off 2 fingers; the day after tomorrow,....... In chopping 4; the 3rd day then ......"
Xiaoming: "Is it not necessary to pay back"
The money changer: "NO, by then you will become Tinkerbell."
62. The story takes place in China a long time ago.
After playing scissors, stone and cloth for an afternoon of guessing games
Best friends went home together, and while walking...
Stone noticed an oil lamp dropped by the side of the road, which was similar to the kind of Aladdin's lamp
He picked it up curiously, and whisked off the dust on it
He picked it up and whisked off the dust on it
He was very curious.
Suddenly white smoke rose from the lamp's bottle
A dragon slowly emerged from the white smoke... Dragon...
But the dragon was dry and a bit malnourished
He spoke, "Who let me out?" Breathless
The stone says: It was me it was me who let you out
Shenlong: "Wow .... Ahem... then I can give you a wish..."
Stone: "Ah... It's only one oh isn't there three"
Dragon: "I'm sorry... Because I am a half-tone of the Dragon .... If you don't want it then forget it..."
Stone: "Okay... So...can you poop all three of us into adulthood? We're tired of guessing every day."
Dragon: "Wow... I'll give it a try... but maybe only one of us will make it... since I'm a half-toned divine dragon..."
The divine dragon coughed a few times and spat on each of the three of them
The three of them gradually began to be enveloped by the white smoke, and the divine dragon
When the white smoke cleared...
Rock is still rock, scissors are still scissors, only the cloth is no longer cloth, the cloth has successfully transformed into a human being!
While one family was happy and two families were sad,
it just so happened that someone was passing by and saw this scene,
and recorded him,
this person was Mencius.
He wrote:
................
Bu succeeded and became a man.
Then this saying was passed on to future generations and also added to language textbooks.
63. An old man of a family died,
and since there was a public memorial service, the body was frozen in ice,
and invited out when the public memorial service was held.
It happened to be a very hot day at that time,
and there were droplets of water on the body after thawing,
and the little grandson saw it from the side, and shouted nervously:
"Grandma, grandma...grandpa is sweating..."
and grandma replied:
" Shhh... grandpa's nervous about dying for the first time..."
Grandma replied.
64. There was a man who met God one day...
God was suddenly kind enough to grant the man a wish. ....
God asked...
What is your wish...
The man thought for a moment...
I heard that cats have 9 lives...
So, please give me 9 lives...
This is what I want...
The man said...
What is his wish?
God said...
Your wish comes true ....
One day, the man was bored...
and thought to himself that it would be better to die...
It's a good thing that he has 9 lives anyway
so he laid down on the railroad tracks....
A train went by ....
The man died anyway...
Why is that?
Because the train had 10 cars...
65. Yuki asked her dad, "Dad, do you have any KB books?
"Yes, of course."
Dad said: "There is a book that your father I read for more than 20 years and still feel KB."
"Ah? What kind of book can you read for more than 20 years? What kind of book can you read for 20 years and still think it's KB?"
"Marriage certificate."
66. There was a lady who was driving and got stuck at a red light.
The traffic police looked at her and watched as the light changed from red to green and green to red...
Still she stopped in the middle of the road and did not move.
So the traffic cop went over to the lady and asked, "What's the matter, don't you have a color you like?"
68. Two foreigners went to Carrefour to do some shopping, and when they were checking out, the clerk asked, "Can you speak chinese?"
The two foreigners replied in Mandarin, "If you speak slower, we can understand you!
The clerk said, "Can...you...speak...chinese?"
69. One night ......
Xiaoming couldn't sleep and decided to go out for a walk...
The clerk said, "Can you speak chinese?
He went for a walk on the highway near his house...
Unluckily, he ran into a police checkpoint...
Ming was called over for questioning.
Police asked Ming why he was on the highway, and handed him a ticket...
It reads
1.Failure to wear a seatbelt
2.Driving without a license
3.Driving at speeds of less than 60 mph
70.Pretty MM must look at it...
Coffee diet:
Materials:
Coffee beans one hundred grams (raw)
Water 500 cc ...
Practice:
1, drink 500 cc of water.
2. Put the coffee beans ....
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
Scatter them on the ground and pick them up one by one.
Repeat three times a day for a month...
71. Life is like a turd, once it's flushed away, it doesn't come back.
Life is like poop, how to pull is the same pattern, but each time is not quite the same ....
Life is like poop, sometimes it's a good poop, sometimes it's a tangle of the five senses!
Life is like poop, you never know what will come out...
Life is like poop, how do you want it to turn out, how do you have to plant it first.
Life is like poop, often after half a day's effort, only a few farts come out...
Life is like a turd, even if it's decorated beautifully, its essence is still the same...
Life is like poop, only you can face it silently and bravely.
So, as they say--
"You're going to eat the shit."
In fact, his original meaning is 'you have to seriously integrate into your own life.'
72. A guy went to the hospital and had a lot of tests done.
The doctor says: there is good news and bad news! After reading your test results, I realized that you have potential homosexual tendencies! And it's hard to cure!
The guy says: Oh my God! What about the good news?
The doctor said coyly, "I find you quite cute. ~~~~~~~~
73. One day, the physics teacher of a class in a girls' high school was on sick leave,
40 female students were looking forward to seeing who would lead the class,
When the physics class came to the classroom, it was actually a big, handsome male teacher.
One of the female students teased and said, "Teacher, can we not have class? The first time I've seen this, I've seen it, and I've seen it, and I've seen it, and I've seen it, and I've seen it.
The male teacher was silent for a while and said:
Good ~ ~ ~
Students textbooks put away, now the test!
74. One day, the cockroach sister ran back crying...
Cockroach father asked: "What happened to my daughter?"
The cockroach sister said, "Dad! Why do people say I'm a pest! Oooooh ......."
Then the cockroach brother also came back, and he said with a happy face:
"Dad! For the first time in my life, someone greeted me warmly."
Daddy Cockroach asked, "Really? What did they say?"
Cockroach's brother: I just went out and when they saw me they said,
"Hi! ～～～～～～ bugs~"
75. Tang Monk: You should find a shortcut for this quest!
Wukong: Flying is faster than riding a horse!!!!
Bajie: God 6 is faster!!!!
Sand Monk took out a gun: I heard that this play immediately send people to the West .........
76. A hunter went hunting with his hunting dogs, and slipped through the forest for a day without any prey.
It was dark, and he kept riding his horse around the forest,
The horse suddenly said: 'You don't even let me rest, want to tire me out?'
The hunter was so shocked that he immediately rolled off his horse and ran away, pulling the hound with him.
When he ran to a large tree to catch his breath,
the dog patted his chest and said to him,
'I was so shocked, the horse could actually talk.'
So the hunter was scared to death on the spot .....................
77.A sugar, walking in the North Pole. felt that he was so cold - so it turned into ice candy!!!!
78.A cabbage, walking and undressing, and finally it was gone ...........
79. A bear came by prepared (有bear来)
第十一本书不可不可思议（book11）
羊停止呼吸扬眉吐气（羊没吐气）
80. A black cat saved a white cat from the river, and do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later?
It said:Aim at ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
81.Who is sure to be eliminated from the game played by the wolf, the tiger and the lion? Wolf
Because:Momotaro (eliminates the wolf)
82.How do you make a drink a bigger cup?
Chant the Great Compassion Mantra
83.A thief went up to someone's house to steal something, and when he entered the house, he saw that there was no one in the house, but it was very poor, so he left 200 dollars and went away. .........
84.A condom felt itchy, and so he scratched it ..... I'm not sure what's going on here.
There was a death ......................
85. Hooligans + hooligans = ?
=Rascal Rabbit (TWO) -----小白+小白==小白兔
86.我买了一个联通公司出产的电视机，不停的选台，全是雪花没信号
86. I bought a TV from Unicom and kept choosing stations, all snowflakes and no signal, then the TV spoke: the TV you dialed is not in the service area, please wait and dial again...
87. One day a match fell and broke his head and went to the hospital to bandage it, and then came out with a cotton swab...
88.
88.The Leaning Tower of Beza was about to fall, and a man went to help the tower.
John (because John Quivertower)
89. Once upon a time there was a man who loved to make clay figurines. One day on a whim he grabbed a quick piece of clay and pinched it, resulting in a clay figure, but the clay figure was bare and unattractive, he thought and thought. Suddenly he had a good idea, with grass to do the mud man's hair and beard, he felt very satisfied with his work, so he named it, called grass mud moncler ............... .......
90.A classmate of mine from Xiamen University was also captured by the enemy when he went out once! The enemy also tied him to a pole and said, "Back then, we asked a man which school he was from, and he screamed that he was from the Electricity University, and then we electrocuted him - if you hadn't said anything, you would have ended up the same way!" My classmate said, "I'm from Xiamen University ...............
98. The air hostess approached the man who was protesting loudly,
and the man shouted, "I'm going to protest to this airline!
I've been sitting in the same seat every time I've flown, with no movies, no curtains, and I can't even sleep! I can't even sleep!"
The stewardess said, "Forget it, Captain, stop it."
106.On this holy day of Valentine's Day, I would like to pay out of my own pocket to give all the lovers to order a song to express my blessings, and that is - "Happy Breakup" by Jasmine Leung!!!!
107.When the final exams are approaching, I advise you not to watch less auspicious movies, such as "Big Red Lanterns Hanging High" .................. .......
111.A man went fishing by the river ..........
First he put on a leaf ~ half a day no fish on the hook, he changed to a piece of bread ~ the same half a day no fish on the hook ~
No way he had to go to change the earthworms ~ the same half a day no fish on the hook ~ ~
He was furious ~ pulled out 100rmb ~ ~ fell into the water ~ ~
"tnnd ~ ~ to eat what! Get it yourself ！！！！"
112.One day, Mr. Wang drove home.
Suddenly, a Mercedes-Benz flew by, and as it drove past him, the driver shouted at him:
"Dude, ever driven a Mercedes-Benz?" The driver shouted at him,
"Dude, have you ever driven a Mercedes?" He said, "Whoosh," and drove away.
Mr. Wang was furious and accelerated to catch up.
When he was about to catch up, the driver stuck his head out and yelled at him again:
"Dude, have you ever driven a Datsun?" And then, whoosh, he was gone again.
"Shit, bull B what!" Mr. Wang cursed after the heart a little more comfortable, so no longer chasing.
And drove for a while,
Mr. Wang saw just in that big Ben overturned on the side of the road, he was very curious, and slowly drove closer.
Only to see that the driver was crushed under the car, breathless, said:
"Buddy, have you ever driven a Grand Prix? Know where its brakes are?"
113.I used to have schizophrenia, but now we've recovered ~~~~~~~~
114.A foreign student took a driving test in the U.S., and when the road sign ahead prompted him to turn left, he wasn't quite sure and asked the examiner:
"turn left?"
Answer: "right", "left", "left", "left", "left", "left", "left". >Answer: "right"
So ...... hung up...
115.One day the green bean suicide jumped down from the 5th floor, shed a lot of blood, turned into a red bean; has been pus, and turned into a yellow bean; the wound scarred, and finally became a black bean.
116.Xiaoming got a haircut and came to school the next day. When his classmates saw his new hairstyle, they laughed and said, "Xiaoming, your head shape looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt so aggrieved that he ran outside and cried. Crying ~ he flew up ............
117.There is a man who looks like an onion, walking and crying .......
118.The little penguin asked his grandmother one day, "Grandma grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin then asked his dad, "Daddy daddy, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong?" "But, but why do I feel so cold?"
119.A pair of corn fell in love...
So they decided to get married...
On the day of the wedding...
One corn couldn't find the other corn...
This corn then asked Popcorn beside him: have you seen our corn?
Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress .......
120. In music class, the teacher played a piece by Beethoven
Small Ming asked Xiaohua: "Do you know music?"
Siao Hua: "Yes"
Siao Ming: "Then do you know what the teacher is playing?"
Siao Hua: "The piano."
121.Two people fell into a trap.The dead one is called a dead man.What is the living one called?
A:Call for help!
122.Someone looks like a sweet potato, walking and falling ......
123.Question: what are cloth and paper afraid of?
Answer: cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of one thing.
Reason: not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, only (paper) afraid of what if.
124.One day there was a mother-in-law in a car...
Sitting in the middle of the mother-in-law did not recognize the road ....
The granny hit the driver's ass with a stick and said: Where is this?
Driver: this is my ass .....
126.The host asked: Does a cat climb trees? Eagle snaps: yes! Moderator: Give me an example! Eagle with tears: that year, I was asleep, the cat climbed the tree ... later there was an owl ...
127.two shitty mantis discuss welfare lottery, A said: I want to win the jackpot will be a 50-mile radius of the toilet to buy, every day to eat enough! B said: you are too vulgar! If I win the jackpot, I'll buy a live one and eat it fresh every day!
129.Teacher: "You finally came! Why didn't you come to class yesterday?"
Student: "Because... Because, my mom fell down the stairs..."
Teacher: "Wow! I see, mom got hurt so you didn't come."
Student: "No...it was my dad who got hurt..."
Teacher: "Why did your mom fall down the stairs and your dad get hurt?"
Student: "Because... My dad has a woman outside..."
Teacher: "What? ... What does that have to do with your mom falling down the stairs?"
Student: "Because they were fighting... My mom fell all right my dad got hurt by my mom."
Teacher: "Wow... So because you took your dad to the hospital you didn't come to class?"
Student: "No... It was the woman outside who drove my dad there."
Teacher: "Then why didn't you come to class?"
Student: "Because I overslept..."
Teacher: "What does that have to do with your mom falling down the stairs!?"
Student: "No, I...I just mentioned it in passing..."