The name of that article is "There is a kind of love, forgetting each other in the rivers and lakes"
Anyan's name jumps into my ears every few days. Jian Ning said, Anyan is a talented man, crazy and indifferent. Did you know that his paintings have been exhibited in national art exhibitions since he was fifteen years old?
Really? I said lightly.
At this time, I was having an affair with Jia Ning. We just had dinner and watched movies together. He always wanted to kiss me, but I always refused lightly.
All the roommates in the dormitory were in love, I was just lonely, and he happened to show up. He picked up my textbook and found it in my dormitory to return it to me. In the dusk light, I saw a slightly pale boy, thin and tall, holding a basketball. That day, I happened to be bored again.
So I often accompany Jianing to play basketball. Everyone thought I was his girlfriend, and for a while I thought I was, but I knew I was not.
Because I don’t have that feeling of pounding heart.
Anyan’s name flashed in my mind.
One day I went to Jianing’s dormitory to play, and I flipped through his photo album. I saw a man sitting on the beach, his white shirt blowing in the sea breeze. He held his head high and his eyes were cool. His appearance was also amazing. He was as delicate as a girl, but also resolute.
My face turned red for no reason.
I asked Jianing casually, who was this and who was that? I pointed at several girls, all of whom were his high school classmates, and finally, I pointed at this boy.
This is Anyan, Jian Ning said, with a good temperament.
Average. I said calmly.
When I went to Jianing’s dormitory again, I stole the photo.
Often, I would look at that photo with a flashlight at night, over and over again, obsessed with this man with cold eyes. From Jian Ning's story, I got a rough idea of ??Anyan: his parents are divorced, his father is in Canada, and his mother is in France. He follows his grandmother, paints, and is now a sophomore at the Academy of Fine Arts.
One evening in spring, Jia Ning shouted to me downstairs, "Xiao Yin, Xiao Yin."
I poked my head out and saw two men standing under the sycamore tree.
One is Jianing, and the other is Anyan.
That dusk later became fixed, and in my memory, it was so poignant and moving, shimmering with a strange fragrance. The tung blossoms bloomed all over the tree. A man wearing a light white linen shirt and jeans stood under the tree, not looking at me. Jia Ning shouted, Xiao Yin, come down quickly, let’s go drink.
That was the first time An Yan and I met. We were silent the whole time. He didn’t look at me and I didn’t look at him.
I still look at Anyan's photos secretly. He himself has a kind of magic even more than the photos. Some men are like this, born with a huge temptation that cannot be resisted at all.
And Jia Ning’s kindness to me made me feel nameless pressure.
I said break up.
He smiled, why did we break up? We are not in love.
Such an open-minded attitude made me feel awkward and slightly disappointed. Doesn’t he love me? I said that’s fine, let’s just be buddies.
Being a buddy is the best way to reject love.
Jian Ning said that Anyan is coming again, and when summer comes, he wants to come to the beach to sketch.
My heart was beating wildly, I pretended not to care, and after saying oh, I went to withdraw money. I went to the best shopping mall in town, and then picked out clothes, one after another, until I There is not much money left.
Three skirts, one white, one red and one black, I like them to be strong to death or light to nothing. After picking and choosing, I wore a plain white skirt and waited for Anyan's arrival.
My hair was also done, with a fireworks perm, which was very dandy.
In the summer afternoon, the cicadas screamed crazily. The school was on holiday. Jianing and I were waiting for Anyan's arrival. Jia Ning looked at my new hairstyle and said: Xiaoyin, you should still have long black hair. This hairstyle is not suitable for you.
I said your vision is too simple. Her long black hair is that of the heroine in Qiong Yao's novels, and it's out of date.
Two people came.
Behind Anyan was a tall girl with short hair, a big perm, denim hot pants, black lace suspenders, and a huge red envelope with a Picasso painting on it.
For a moment, I felt like a clown. I even looked at the stains that had just been splashed on my skirt with disgust, and even reached out my hand politely.
Anyan introduced, my girlfriend Song Song.
Song Song leaned against Anyan very affectionately.
That night, we still went to the beach. I was the first one to get drunk. My skirt got wet from the sea water. I was too lazy to care. When I was drunk, I sang to them: Isn’t your wife? A mortal woman, my wife is originally a snake fairy from Emei. Just for Sifan to go down the mountain, he and Qing'er came to the West Lake. I met you in the stormy lake, I love you affectionately and gracefully... This is my first time singing an opera. Jia Ning looked at me in surprise, Xiaoyin, can you sing?
I can sing well. Extremely graceful, this long section of Bai Suzhen's two-six-turn flow is my favorite. My mother likes to sing opera, and I have sung this section of "Broken Bridge" since I was a child. Unfortunately, I have never found anyone to listen to it.
Now that I have found him, he is already someone else’s Xu Xian.
I raised my orchid fingers gracefully and continued to sing: Even though you are a stranger, I treat you with great kindness. My pillow is wet with tears. I am a mandarin duck who wakes up from a dream and only adds sorrow... Yes Yes, I sang it to him. After all these years, after tonight, what relationship do I still have with this man?
In front of him, I flirted with Jia Ning, Jia Ning was almost flattered when I peeled the crayfish and fed it to his mouth. I even let him pull me to dance.
We danced very enthusiastically, and we danced face-to-face. I shed tears while dancing. Jia Ning said, Xiaoyin, you drank too much, it was too much.
Anyan and the girl were also dancing, and they danced very enthusiastically. The girl's feet stepped on Anyan's feet. This action was extremely frivolous. I said to Jian Ning, dear, do you want to kiss me?
Jian Ning was obviously startled, and I laughed: You can’t even kiss, can you?
p>Suddenly, Jianing lowered his head and kissed me.
Our teeth touched together and made an extraordinarily loud sound.
I laughed, then let Jia Ning hold me and threw me into the sea. In the sea water, I buried my head deeply. I knew that I shed tears, just like the sea water, salty tears, so So salty.
That photo of Anyan has already made me cry. I was afraid that I would get hairy if I looked at the photo often. I still looked at it with a flashlight. Everyone thought I was reading a novel, but I had the novel open. It’s always only on that page, because that page contains Anyan’s photo.
Tears fell on that page drop by drop. Later, the words on that page were all blurred, and I could no longer read the words on it clearly. Who says I don’t love you? This vague page is the proof.
From now on, Anyan will appear in front of Jianing and me every few months.
The women around him are always different, different every time he comes. Those girls are bright and graceful, smiling brightly, and clinging to him like little snakes.
Just like my little snake, it is entangled with Jia Ning.
There seemed to be a wall between us, even though we kissed, and like all lovers, we went to a secret place on the playground to watch the stars.
One day, it rained, and I was watching the rain alone on the playground. I was the only one in the cold stands.
I cried, my shoulders were shaking, and I was choking.
An umbrella was held over my head.
Jia Ning stood behind me at some point.
You will catch a cold, Jianing said, go back, I know the pain in your heart, if you want to break up, just say, I won't force you, stop crying.
I looked up at this big boy. He is always so kind and considerate. He even knows my dislike and the pain in my heart. Even knowing everything about me, he is just the card I must play, just to win this round.
At that time, two months and three days before graduation, I threw myself into Jia Ning’s arms. It was not a breakup, but a breakup. I said thank you and thanked him for cooperating with me in this scene.
The last thing Jian Ning told me was: Anyan, he is not suitable for you. He is narcissistic and loves himself.
I cry.
I decided to go, yes, I am going to find the man named Anyan. I want to ask him, do you love him? If you do, please stop acting.
The women he brought were all as beautiful as flowers, but I knew that they were also his cards and had nothing to do with him. He showed me one by one, and they were extremely lethal.
When I arrived, I went to the Academy of Fine Arts to find the person in my spring boudoir dream that I missed again and again. I knew he liked me, just like he knew I liked him. We just kept doing it. Xiu, he came to University A all the time just to see me. Although he brought his girlfriends with him, those girlfriends were just props. Just like, Jia Ning is my prop.
Unfortunately, I came a step too late.
His classmates said that he went to France and his mother wanted him to go to France for further studies. After graduation, I insisted on coming here and worked as an employee at the one closest to the Academy of Fine Arts.
Many evenings, I went to sit alone in the courtyard of the Academy of Fine Arts. I like the smell there. The man I like used to walk between these buildings and these trees every day. Did he ever stop? Did he ever miss me under a tree?
Jia Ning also came. . He could have gone back to work in his hometown, but he came to work as a supervisor in a village five miles away from me.
We still eat together and watch dramas together as before.
No one mentioned love. He only told me that someone introduced him to gentle girls and pointed out their photos to me. I always gave him advice as to whether this would work or not. He even took me on a blind date. I sat in the corner of the coffee shop 10 meters away from him and watched what he was talking to the girl.
At that time, I would always light up a cigarette and look outside. Sometimes it rained outside, sometimes it didn't.
Jia Ning’s blind date finally succeeded. She is the daughter of a professor and is very dependent on him.
On the night before the wedding, Jia Ning invited me to dinner. We came to a very atmospheric Western restaurant, and he ordered red wine.
He said, let’s all get drunk.
I looked at him. This man, who had always been rational and humble, suddenly had determination in his eyes.
Okay, I said, let's get drunk.
We drank 5 bottles of red wine, and then 20 bottles of Corona, constantly going to the bathroom. After that, we came to Chang'an Street, it was already late at night, and he said, Xiaoyin, can you sing a rendition of "The Legend of White Snake" to me? I want to hear it.
This sentence made my eyes wet.
I shook my head, yes, I will never sing again, never.
He touched my face, Xiaoyin, you never know how much I like you. I got married just for you. After getting married, I gave up, but you don’t have to. There is so much pressure. If you want me now, I don’t have to get married. Do you know?
The rain started to fall. I smiled and felt that I was very calm. In fact, I was very panicked. What do you want? I am confused myself.
I covered my face and cried.
Three years later.
I opened my own, and a secretary sent me an invitation. It was a painting exhibition by a painter in the art museum. I have to go to every art exhibition in the art museum. My love for painting started in Anyan.
When I opened the invitation, I saw the name that I had been away from for several years, Anyan. Word by word, it jumped in front of me. Yes, it was him. He came to open the exhibition.
Anyan, a painter traveling in France.
But he didn't know that this culture was started by the woman who sang "The Legend of White Snake".
My hands were trembling a little, but at this time, I was no longer the girl at the beach that year. I put away the makeup on my face and went to the art gallery alone.
He was surrounded by many people, still as elegant and tall as ever. I looked at him from a distance and did not come closer. His paintings are so sad and ethereal.
I am standing in front of a painting.
It’s the seaside. On the seaside where we used to be, there were four men and women, deformed men and women. Underground, there were many Tsingtao beer bottles lying there. The name of the painting was "I was in love at the seaside that summer". Is he in love? Yes, he is in love.
Turning around, I saw a woman with long hair appearing next to him. She was an authentic French girl with a fair face and blue eyes. He kissed her face gently, and she Take his hand.
I know that there is a kind of love that helps each other, and there is a kind of love that forgets each other in the world.
Even if there is no such woman in Anyan, we can't go back to the past. Many things and people have passed forever. Looking back again, they will not be the same as they were then. Just like a painting, if it is dyed with ink, if it is dyed again many years later, it will definitely not be the color it wanted at that time.
Maybe what I love is just my green years, and that person happened to appear at that moment. Besides, what else is there?
I went home and looked through I wanted to find that photo from that novel back then.
As a result, I searched all the books but could not find it.