A
My dad and my mom have been getting along for decades, and they've been shitting on each other to death.
As soon as one of them starts to talk, the other one is sure to start talking, and they have no mercy.
Dad: How about a new shirt? I bought it myself haha.
Mom: Testy! Sissy! Thief Karma disgusting! I'm not sure if you're going to be able to buy your own clothes, but I'm sure you're going to be able to buy them!
Dad: do not play with you...
Dinner.
Dad: take the Enbo thieves Karma (adverb, indicating the degree of strong) difficult to eat! There is a kind of restaurant overnight meal microwave reheated flavor!
Mom: goods pull Enzi (personal pronoun, expressed contempt) difficult to eat you do not eat ah!
Dad: I eat or not it does not matter, son and hungry thin you see!
I: off my ass ...
I wrote this may also feel quite interesting, but in fact, the two are really from the bottom of the heart with life in each other shabby.
Ningbo language itself is very hard, normal talk is like a quarrel, once open ridicule mode combat geometric rise.
And Ningbo language this language itself, especially the promotion of ** dirty words, complimentary words, especially less, I went to Baidu "Ningbo language complimentary", only one, or Baidu posting bar question. And then go to search "Ningbo language **", more than a dozen pages ....... Khan Ta Ta drop.
So when mom and dad are talking to each other, it's like a Ningbo dialect ** exhibition. Rarely does a meal get finished in peace.
After all these years, I've gotten used to listening to the two of them banter with each other during meals.
However in the past two years, since both of them retired.
My parents have become more likely to say nice things about each other, and to praise each other to their faces!
I'd like to go home for dinner once in a while.
Dad: your mother now cooking can be delicious, you look at the color of the dishes, you look at the taste, tsk tsk!
Mom: Oh, I'm not so bad, your father is often cooking now, and his skills are better than mine.
Dad: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Me:...
OS: Dad, you're playing with amnesia, who used to pick on the dishes? You don't have to do this, I'm suddenly not used to it!
Finally, one time I couldn't help but ask why you guys suddenly became so melodramatic.
My father taught me the way of life, the way of husband and wife.
Dad: small coffins I told you, after retirement, I then damage your mother all day do not want to stay comfortable, dinner is not for me to do to run to the square dance how to do? You see me so a boast it, your mother is not happy to cook, will also give me clip meat it! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that!
This life, ah, praise people will not let you less meat, more praise people, less damage people, everyone is happy!
Two
Our culture does not seem to have a tradition of complimenting people, only the tradition of kissing ass.
Praise and compliments are always easy to put together with some bad words. For example, to be solicitous of nothing is to be treacherous. Smooth-talking, honey-mouthed sword, malicious intent, hiding a knife in a smile, and so on, to praise a person also be treated as a bad intention of the villain, naturally, we are not willing to show the heart of the praise.
Because of this, there is a lot of dead pride, a lot of tragedy. The most famous dead arrogant in history is the proverb "I don't kill Boren, but Boren died because of me." The most famous death is the proverb "I did not kill Boren, but Boren died because of me".
Boren brother name Zhou Qing, in fact, the king guide is very appreciated, but also in times of crisis for him to defend, but this brother mouth hard, in front of other people's faces do not say, to the face of the king guide to look at, and then Zhou Qing encountered a crisis when the king guide silent, well, really died in this way, rubbing tired, killed people ah!
When I learned about this historical allusion, sigh. Praise people, how positive things, from the heart, say it is!
This point or Cao Cao is the most generous, "Today under the heroes only make the king and fuck ears!" Directly to the preparation of the happy.
The old focus on the flaws and shortcomings of others, they are not happy, the other is even more unhappy.
If there's any simple, effective technique that can immediately improve happiness, I think sincere compliments and praise are indispensable.
Will Smith starred in the romantic comedy movie "All the Lovers", where he guided an awkward fat man to chase his goddess, and the trick was how to praise effectively, to the heart of the people.
One scene is particularly impressive, where the goddess takes the fat guy to a party. There are a number of difficult girlfriends of the goddess inside. To chase the goddess, the fat man must be recognized by his girlfriends, and see what he does after being instructed.
one: meet with every stranger to vigorously shake hands, and introduce yourself in the middle. Don't make comments easily, not frivolous. Women can intuit that you are sincere or not, the smarter the more women do not like others to pretend. Even if it is a clumsy person, the sincere expression of clumsiness is more natural than the pretense of practicing.
two: praise based on the fact that the details, often half the effort. The fat man learned something about the goddess BFF, asked each other to create inspiration are how to come? When the girlfriends began to speak when the eyes seriously listening to the content of its speech feedback, reasonable and not exaggerated praise, and in the conversation each other today wearing clothing for some unintentional description and praise, simple and casual, but let a person in the mood for comfort. In any social place, people have expectations of how others see themselves, if you get a positive response, people will be pleased with the good qualities they have, and furthermore, the person who complimented you on the feeling of closeness.
three: If you want to do something and don't do it just because you're shy, it's worth doing. Develop a positive response to others' kindness and goodwill, strengths and changes Praise is not something to be shy about, but a generous gift.
I think it's good to praise people simply to praise people, never hurt another person at the same time, lying also shot this kind of thing, very bleak ah!
I think the praise is a simple praise and appreciation, not for other purposes, praise is to praise itself, just like going out in the good weather, exclaimed a nice day. colleagues changed the new hairstyle, said a sincere very suitable for you, it is enough.
This kind of natural and comfortable compliment, let a person feel comfortable at the same time, but also let themselves have a good mood, why not?
Three
Finally, a negative example, my good buddy Lao Zhou, when his girlfriend cut short hair and asked him how it was, said with a wooden face and sincerity: "I think you're good with short hair!
The other person's smiling face had just unfolded...he continued:
"You're not feminine with long hair anyway, and short hair saves on shampoo! Much more refreshing!!!"
He cried to me that his girlfriend has not forgiven him now...I can only sincerely and sorrowfully return a sentence: The.
On the contrary, I think of a question on the know-how: how to take the next words when the girlfriend said XX is so handsome?
(This should be often encountered in life. Most of the boys will be disdainful and said, nymphomaniac. Look at the correct way to answer.)
"So what? My girlfriend isn't as pretty as mine."
Depending on the facts, this pretty can be replaced with cute, with substance, and so on and so forth...
No need to intentionally praise. There is nothing for you to praise, just smile.
The old Mr. Ji Xianlin has a life motto - falsehoods are not spoken all the time, the truth is not spoken all the time. When you really encounter a time when you can't boast, don't boast hard.
But really feel, can not help but want to give a thumbs up, boast people do not pay taxes, happiness has no upper limit.
What if there's no response to complimenting someone? Relax, we compliment the weather, and not to get any response.
I love Javier's quote, "We stick to something not because it will work, but with the conviction that it is the right thing to do."