The first half of my life in confusion

I don't know when, life lacks expectation. 85 years later, my days fly by, but I don't know what I do every day and what I want to do, so I just go through the motions of work, life, occasional exercise, square dancing is considered to be a rich spare time, and I've made up my mind to learn the drums because of the teacher's irresponsibility and came to an abrupt end. I can't help but discuss the meaning of life with my girlfriends from time to time.

Half of my life has been a blur of expectations, uncertainty, beauty, and regret.

The best memory is the time when I went to college, and I got the freedom that I had longed for, and I didn't have the dry classes and problems that I had in junior high and high school, and I could do something that I liked in my spare time. At that time, I would seriously learn a song, listen to my favorite radio to learn Cantonese, contribute to my favorite radio program, carry simple food and water to go to local attractions with my roommates (Zhaoqing is a beautiful tourist city), go to the library to study with or without my friends, go to all kinds of concerts with my best friends, and take the bus to browse my favorite city. I like things to be slow, quiet and cozy like that.

However, there is nothing I regret more than not studying hard enough in high school. A familiar line in the movie goes like this, "If you come out, you have to pay back sooner or later", which is true and applies everywhere. I didn't study hard in high school, so I didn't get into a good college, and then I didn't have a strong knock on the door, and I had to settle for a job. I think many of us regret not studying hard enough, but we don't have the opportunity to make up for it.

The past is already past, can not be repeated, can do, can only think about how to live in the future, try to minimize the future of the regret.

The author and the author's cousin's cousin's husband in "Live Your Life According to Your Own Wishes" are both people with goals, and they realize each big and small goal one by one, and finally succeed in gaining value and happiness.

Thinking about it, what are my goals for the rest of my life, and what kind of life is the way I want it to be? Surprisingly, I don't have an answer. I'm a mere mortal and don't expect to be successful, that much I know.

As of now, my approximate goal is to fit my nest into the way I like it and live quietly. In my spare time, I do my favorite food, bathe in the warm sun to read and write, the room swells with my favorite music, and save up my savings to go where I want to go. As for the feelings, do not do planning, the scars remind me that I deserve to love only themselves.