Every child is a flower, just at a different time, and all we have to do is "wait for the flower to bloom". However, many parents do not really understand the meaning of this phrase. They only see the "wait for the flowers to bloom", but ignore the "silent cultivation".
The other day, a fifth-grade parent brought her child in for counseling.
The mother seemed to be very educated, and right away she talked to me about the kind of education she has always respected: free-range, relaxed, respecting the child's right to autonomy, never tutoring him, and never valuing his academic performance.......
Well, this sounds like a very good, very educated parent.
Then I ask: Is that kid having any problems with math.
"He can't understand what the teacher is saying in class, and he basically doesn't know how to do his homework at home. Not only does he have mood swings when it comes to this subject, but we have a lot of problems with our parent-child relationship because of his math problems. Now this math, I don't know how to get it ......"
I saw the radiant mother as if she had dimmed all of a sudden.
In talking to the child, I found out that the fifth-grader wasn't even at a third-grade math level.
At the end, that mother asked me. Teacher, can you help us make an overall plan for my son's situation.
In the face of her anxiety at this time, I really want to say to the mother: you now know anxiety, know that the overall planning, so many years, what did you do earlier.
That's right, I agree with what you said about honoring a relaxed, free parenting environment, respecting the child's right to autonomy, respecting his hobbies, having an equal dialogue, and encouraging him to live his life .......
What you said: will not care about the results, because the process is more important than the results ...... I also agree.
Your words: don't over interfere with your child, don't meddle in your child's life, give your child independence ...... I also agree.
But, pro, in that case, why are you anxious?
In that case, isn't it good that the only thing you do is wait, wait for him to grow up, wait for him to grow into what he is supposed to be?
I have a friend who teaches composition in Taiwan, and she has a lot of kids who come to her studio to learn how to write.
Many of them are kids who don't know how to write at all when they get to the stage of writing essays, and they tend to bite off countless pencils and have only one essay topic on the paper.
And the child doesn't like to read at all.
She often asks a few questions when she talks to parents: do you love reading yourselves? Do you spend a lot of parent-child **** reading time with your kids? Do you often read stories to your children when they are young? Do you take your children out for many experiences?
She often got the answer: we are too busy, often traveling, which have time to give him a story reading ah, as a child is the grandparents with, so very few ......