This is a language test question for elementary school students
Requirements: Connect the following four sentences with associated words:
1. Zhang Haidi sister is paralyzed;
2. Zhang Haidi sister tenaciously studies;
3. Zhang Haidi sister learns a number of foreign languages;
4. sister learned acupuncture.
(Note: The correct answer should be: although paralyzed, Zhang Haidi's sister studied tenaciously and learned not only several foreign languages, but also acupuncture.)
As a result, one child wrote:
Although sister Zhang Haidi tenaciously learned acupuncture and several foreign languages, she was still paralyzed.
Later, it was found that a fiercer child wrote:
Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned foreign languages, but also acupuncture, and she was so tenacious that she was finally paralyzed.
Sister Zhang Haidi was paralyzed because she was so tenacious in her studies that she not only learned several foreign languages, but she even learned acupuncture.
Sister Zhang Haidi was so tenacious in her studies that not only did she learn several foreign languages and acupuncture, but she finally learned to be paralyzed.
Sister Zhang Haidi learned multiple foreign languages and acupuncture, and was again tenaciously learning to be paralyzed.
Haidi Zhang's sister learned multiple foreign languages and acupuncture through tenacity, and ended up paralyzing herself by following a foreign-language version of an acupuncture book.
A ran upstairs out of breath
and said to B: one good news and one bad news, which one first?
B says, "Yes.
A said: Good news, your girlfriend is waiting for you downstairs.
Before he could finish his sentence, B rushed downstairs and looked around, but no one was there
A shouted: the bad news is a lie.
The next day
A said to B; one good news, one bad news, which one first?
B said: bad
A said: I see your girlfriend in the park with other boys dating ~
The words did not finish B rushed out
A shouted behind; good news is lying to you ~
Cafeteria chapter:
1, students: wow! It turns out that the sand in the cafeteria is complimentary rice!
2, the cafeteria notice: this window The main sale of teachers, and sell students, sold out of teachers, and then sell students, sold out!
3, the cafeteria has a small fried rice, one day, a student sweaty runway cafeteria, shouted: boss, to a small fried rice! Crowd sweat!
4, give me a cafeteria buns as a fulcrum, I can warp the earth!
Surface tension
Two biochemists were sitting in front of their lab drinking coffee when a beautiful woman walked by outside.
The more sophisticated biochemist sees the demented look on his colleague's face and
says, She's more than seventy-five percent water, just like us.
The colleague, still looking dazed, said, "Yes, but look at the surface tension!
Team Coach
This is what my professor told us, he used to teach in the United States, there are some team students have never been to school, but the university is also
to graduate, and after that you can enter the professional basketball team to play the nba, and often return to his alma mater as a team coach after retirement.
One student (let's call Jordan) is graduating, but he can't pass calculus, so he can't graduate and play nb
a! So he asked his coach, who was also the coach of the school's team, to help him plead for leniency.
The coach: "Professor, please let Jordan pass ah nba waiting for him for a long time!
Professor: "Okay!
Professor: "Well, since the coach has come to help plead, I'll give you one last chance."
"One plus one equals how much?"
Jordan immediately answered without thinking, "Two."
The coach: "Professor, please give him another chance!
Remember to brush your teeth!
One day in a biology experiment, we observed our own salivary cells and recorded them under a microscope.... Just when everyone was excited
to observe and study, a scream ...... . Ah~ It turned out to be from the beautiful assistant professor . The professor thought
what happened, so he ran over to look at the end of fine her microscope, he told her: next time to do things, remember to brush your teeth
rinse your mouth!
Sex Education
One day. Xiao Ming came home from class very sad.
Mom then asked Ming: What happened?
Small Ming replied: All the Xiaohua in the class know where he came from. But I don't even know
Mom thought it was a good time to tell Ming about what happens between men and women, and to give him a proper education about sex
Mom then began to tell Ming that boys fall in love with girls. Then they get married...and also how the sperm meets the egg
Mom told Ming everything she knew.
When mom finished teaching to her satisfaction.
Xiaoming was still confused. Looking at his mom. With a few tears dripping from the corner of his eyes, he said:
Small Hua said he came from Yilan. But mom said a lot of things I still don't know where I'm from.
A teacher in a classroom was introducing her students to the Japanese custom of surnames.
She said: "If there is a Japanese name with the word 'Taro' in it, then he must be the first son, and if there is
'Jiro' in his name, then he must be the second son. ...... Below, who can name a Japanese with such a name?"
A student stood up and answered loudly:Yamamoto Isoroku
The teacher was lecturing up there when a little boy raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I want to a shit."
The teacher listened and taught the student: "You can say it in another, more civilized way."
The student thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, my ass wants to puke."
A student asked the teacher how to write the word "shit", and the teacher forgot for a moment, so he had to say:
"It's right there in front of my mouth, so how can it not come out?"
The fourth-grade brother was so fat that people used to make fun of him.
One day, the teacher asked the class to start writing down in their contact books what they did for their families every day.
The younger brother couldn't come up with anything, so his mother filled it out for him. In the book, she wrote, "Every day I help the family eat."
The teacher's comment was, "I can see you're working hard!"
Man's thoughts
Miller, a senior majoring in agriculture at a university, returned home for the summer. A neighbor's wife, who wanted to raise chickens, came to ask for his advice. Based on the data provided by the wife
on the number of chicken coops, chicken food, and other factors, Miller told her that it would be more appropriate to raise about 30 hens and one or two roosters. At the end of the summer vacation, Miller wanted to go and see
how his "idea" had been implemented. But he was dumbfounded by the chicken coop. Inside were 30 hens and 30 roosters."
Too, for 30 hens, one or two roosters would be enough. Too many roosters won't be able to lay eggs, and it will be a waste of food."" You mean, let one or two roosters occupy so many hens?" Mrs. Neighbor said with a red face." Yes."" That's just what you men think, and I won't do it!"
Graduation Ceremony
At the graduation ceremony, the principal announced that the top student of the year would come up to the stage to receive the award, but after several consecutive shouts, the student slowly came up to the stage.
The teacher then asked the student to come up to the stage. Then the teacher asked the student, "What's wrong? Is he sick? Or did
you not hear me correctly?" The student replied, "No, I did not. The student replied, "No, I was afraid that the other students hadn't heard me."
What is courage...
During the final exams of the philosophy department at a university, their professor asked an essay question on what is courage. One student wrote "this is" on the paper and turned it in...
And got an a
What is courage? The result was a .........
Relativity
One day Ming ran into the classroom, then stood up, then left the classroom again, just as the teacher turned around
The teacher turned around
and said, "This is what it means to be courageous. The teacher turned around
Seeing Xiao Ming's back ...... teacher began to scold ....... Said...nowadays people more and more do not know the benefits of reading...
...The teacher then said.... Good...he does not take my class..... I when off his ...... teacher asked the class president said: the student just now
What is the name of the student .... The class president said .... He is from the next class.... Just went to the wrong classroom ......
Jokes in the dormitory
I have a classmate who never buys handkerchiefs, and goes to other people's places to get them whenever he needs them. Once at my place to get
when I saw the handkerchief, I was very angry at him, said: how do you always that my handkerchief? Why don't you buy it yourself? He said, "Don't be so stingy! It's just a little bit of tissue, I'll give it back to you when I'm done with it!
Reaction
One day, Joe walked into the classroom, and all his hair was standing on end, and the teacher asked what was wrong.
Joe said, It's a reaction to the hairspray.
The next day, Joe walks into class with a shiny head and the teacher asks about it.
Joe says: It's my father's reaction to hairspray.
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Tsinghua military training
Recently, Tsinghua has been digging holes everywhere because of laying cables.
One day, a foreign school students to play, first see the pits everywhere,
After seeing rows of students in uniform military training, can not help but exclaim: Tsinghua military training is really formal ah, but also dug so many
trenches.
The Globe
The director of a school inspected the school and saw a globe in the classroom, so he asked the schoolboy A: "Tell me, why is the globe
tilted at twenty-three and a half degrees?". Schoolboy A was horrified and replied, "I didn't do it." At that moment, another student B came into the classroom. When the Director asked again, Schoolboy B replied, "You know, I just came in too, I don't know anything."
The Director, puzzled, asked the teacher what was going on. The teacher said apologetically, "You can't blame them, the globe was already like this when they bought
it." The principal, seeing the director's face getting uglier and uglier, rushed forward to explain, "I'm ashamed to say so,
" the principal laughed with the teacher, "Because of the school's limited funds, we bought the globe."
The teacher asked Xiao Qiang: "Who burned down the Yuanmingyuan?" Xiao Qiang said aggressively, "Teacher. , no no I didn't burn it."
"What? You you you. Call your dad," the teacher said angrily. After school, Xiao Qiang's dad came and the teacher said to him
"Today I asked your son who burned the Yuanmingyuan and he actually said he didn't burn it, that's ridiculous isn't it?" Little
Strong's dad blinked and said hesitantly, "Teacher, it really.... It wasn't him. Burned it, our boy wouldn't do this.
Why don't ..., we ... pay for it, okay?
The master chef of Tsinghua
Tsinghua deserves to be called the House of Academic Science and Technology, and the master chef of the cafeteria, who has learned from the experience, has been smothered by the sun and the moon, and also needs to be impressed!
The word is that one day a person of southern origin lined up to buy small dumplings,
The master said: to si a dumpling. (This public four, ten does not distinguish.)
Master: How many?
This man: si?
Master: how many?
This male is anxious, out of a sentence, "ten, of course
The master replied: "I see! Then quickly gave this male forked ten buns, and added a sentence: "I told you not
knot, so much effort!
And then he quickly gave him ten buns.
All the people are jaw-dropping ......
Xiaoming said to his parents as soon as he got home today, "I'm the only one who could answer the question the teacher asked at school today.
The parents asked with great pride, "What was the question? "The teacher asked who didn't hand in their homework."
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The teacher asked the students: "How do you explain 'sharing pain with others makes it half as bad'?
Len replied, If my father hits me, I then hit my brother!
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Professor: xxx, please shake the guy next to you up, this is a class, not bedtime
Student: Professor, please shake him up, you're the one who made him fall asleep
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There were always posters on the notice boards at the beginning of each semester selling used textbooks. One of them said, "Introductory Mind
Science. Fifty dollars. Never used." Next to the signature, it said, "Must be sold."
The next day, a note was added to the notice: "The price is fair. But you've really never used it?" It was signed
as "possible buyer." Below the confession, in different handwriting, it reads, "I can guarantee it!" Signed
by 'the professor who graded his
examination paper'.
Self-appreciation
Freshman year, a good-looking room and like to face the mirror to look at self-pity, and even the big exams are approaching, but still can not let go of the mirror.
The room is worried about her homework, and the mirror is not a good place to look at. The first time I saw her, I was worried about her schoolwork and I tried to talk her out of it, but she sighed softly and said, "Is it possible that being beautiful is also a kind of mistake?"
"Don't worry," said the silent head of the room, "you've never made a mistake like this before."
Three school girls were talking about a man who came to the school to ask for marriage.
A (a junior undergraduate): How tall is he and is he handsome?
B (master's student): What does he do and how much does he make?
C (PhD student): where is he!!!!
(Purely fictional, please do not mind)
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Welcome
At the beginning of the new semester, we seniors went to the station to welcome new students.
When I saw a young girl standing next to a large suitcase, I took the initiative to help her lift it.
The box weighed more than
thousands of pounds, and I was too embarrassed to put it down, so I struggled to hold it up.
Only after a few steps, the girl said to me, "If you can't carry it, get lost.
When I heard this, I was furious, put down the box, and looked at her angrily.
The girl froze for a few seconds before pointing to the bottom of the box with a red face and telling me: I mean the wheels.
Interpretation
A university professor told his students, "In ancient times, 'lu' meant kissing, mouth to mouth, very graphic;" one of the
students asked, "What if 'lu' means kissing, then what about 'pinyu', three people kissing together
?"
The professor was about to get angry when another student got up and said, "I think the word 'Pin' is okay to explain, what about 'ware' Yu? Four people
and a dog lies in what?" The class erupted in laughter, and the professor slammed his book.
___
Children can be taught
Teacher: "What's your name and why are you trick-or-treating?"
Student: "My name is Wang Xiaodu."
Teacher: "Speak politely to your teacher, you must add the title 'Mr.', got it?"
Student: "Yes, my name is Mr. Wang Xiaodu."
Stomp you to death...
A renowned professor of botany and his teaching assistant were researching new varieties of plants, and suddenly the teaching assistant asked the professor: teaching
Professor if you are in the field in the internship class, and encountered a plant that you do not know, what to do? The professor replied, "To avoid questions from my classmates
so I usually go to the front of the class, and then I stomp on the plants I don't recognize.
One day in a science and chemistry class, the teacher announced that there would be a quiz in the next class. Xiao Ming was nervous and immediately raised his hand to ask the teacher if he would
won't the test be very difficult, the teacher only said: ? Very simple. The teacher only said: "It's very simple." Everyone clapped and shouted, but
After the test, everyone failed miserably, so how could it be simple?
The teacher said: "I'm not wrong, it's very easy, but it's very difficult to get the remaining 90 points!
There is a professor who teaches every class in order not to let the students feel bored
, so the world will say some jokes to make the students uplift their spirits, but
girls think that the professor are talking about colorful jokes, do not think
think that the professor should have the dignity of a professor, so together
discussed that if the professor next time to say again, then immediately stand up and walk
the professor said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
If the professor said that the next time, he would get up and walk
out of the classroom. Unfortunately, the boys knew about it and ran to talk to the
professor and the professor said that it was okay for me to fix it, and then
One time in class, the professor started to talk about it again! He said: "I heard that recently
, Paris ㄚ is short of prostitutes! When the girls heard this, they started to give each other the
eye roll and said that the professor had started telling colorful jokes again, and that he was going to
move on with his plan, and just as they stood up to get out of the
classroom, the professor said: "Well, don't you dare! These girls ㄚ, don't be
so hasty! The plane to Paris doesn't leave until tomorrow!
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The last question of the final exam of a certain subject (the teacher of the subject is a big killer):
Seeing the question of the final exam ask you want to point to that song for yourself: (1) Joyce Chen, heartache (2) Wan Fang
This is the first time that I've seen this song. )Wan Fang
Everything is as new (3)Xin Xiaoqi Understanding (4)Xin Xiaoqi Oblivion (5)Youkai Li Lin Confessing (6)Others
4 points for one question.
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Love at first sight
A foreign female student studying Chinese at a university used the idiom "love at first sight" to make a sentence: "I did all my homework last night, and
I couldn't help but scream at first sight. I couldn't help but scream!"" No, you can't
split idioms," the young male teacher corrected." This
morning I arrived at school and greeted her at first sight."" It's not the right word
or the right word." She looked at the male teacher and added: "I fell in love with you at first sight...
...."" This time it's right! What? No,..." The male teacher said with a red face: "The sentence is right, but the object is wrong."
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The teacher who teaches arithmetic asks, "Someone lends fifty percent of a dollar at an interest rate of
one cent a month, and after two years, how much interest will be collected?"
The class was busy doing math. Only one of the banker's sons sat still.
Why don't you do the math?" "I'm not interested in such a low interest rate of one cent." ...
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No more departments
A college departmental reorganization was successfully completed, all departments, regardless of size have been listed to "College ".
Summary of the General Assembly on the principal's impassioned speech: "From now on, our school will have no department (theater)."
Offstage applause.
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Division: report card have not shown parents?
Student: yes.
Teacher: Then why didn't the parents stamp it?
Student rolled up his sleeve to show his scarred arm: stamped here.
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Singular and plural
Teacher: "Nick, do you know singular and plural yet?"
Nick: "Got it."
Teacher: "So tell me, is 'pants' singular or plural?"
Nick: "Singular on top, plural on the bottom."
Response
In English class, the teacher was talking about the differences between Chinese and Western languages when a student raised his hand and asked, "Teacher,
How do you say 'dumplings' in English?" The teacher looked puzzled and scolded him, "Ignorant to the core! People in England
don't eat dumplings!"
The teacher wrote "扑朔惑" on the blackboard and asked one of the students, "Would you please tell us
what this idiom means?" The student stood up, pushed his glasses
and looked carefully at the four words on the blackboard, and after half a day's reading he could not understand them, and finally he said, "Teacher, I can't see it clearly." The teacher said, "You are right, please sit
down."
Not yet happened
A boy visited his girlfriend in the girls' dormitory, and the doorman of the dormitory asked him to fill out a guest list
which had to be filled out with his name, sex, address, age, etc.
The doorman asked him to fill out a guest list with his name and sex. When it came to the last
column, "Relationship", the boy thought for a while before writing down the words "has not yet happened".
A smart solution
The principal of a high school was faced with a problem when the older girls in the school started wearing lipstick. When they wore lipstick in the restroom, they would imprint their lips
on the mirror leaving lip prints. Before the problem became unmanageable, he thought of a way to stop it. So he called all the girls who wore lipstick
and told them to meet in the restroom at 2pm. When the girls arrived at the restroom at 2:00, they found the principal and the housemaster waiting there. The principal explained to the girls
that the problem was that the housemaster had to clean the bathroom mirrors every night. He didn't think the girls understood the magnitude of the problem so he asked them to see for themselves how difficult it was to clean the mirrors.
Then the warden began to demonstrate. Then the warden began to demonstrate. The warden took a long-handled brush out of the box, took it to the nearest toilet and dipped it in water, then
walked over to the mirror and started scrubbing it.
No one has ever left their lipstick on the mirror since then
Happy to lose weight with a few great tips, Daxing'anling play big knife, Changbai Mountain wheel shovels, Ussuri River aerobics, Songhua River to the king of the fish, special laxative five packs a day, late at night to catch the cat on the room, and in the long run will never grow fat!
I don't know how long my life will be, it doesn't matter how far this road is, even if I can't walk with you to the end of the world, I cherish every second I have with you!
The stars that can't be picked are always the brightest, the fish that slip away are always the most adorable, the movies that are missed are always the best, the lovers that are lost are always the most beloved, and the friends who are looking at their cell phones are always the ones I cherish the most!
The cause does not need to be amazing, there are achievements line; friendship does not need to be sweet words, think about it; money does not need to be inexhaustible, enough on the line; the body does not need to be a hundred years old, health on the line; friends do not need to be how many, there are you on the line!
The grass by the river is green, you can't forget, happy as a bird, no worries every day, think of your good, confidant is too hard to find, there are many friends, just not as good as you!
Happy with your blessings, disillusioned with your comfort, meet you is my happiness, life with you I am satisfied.
Sunset is not the age of the past, the wind is not the fault of the tree,,; as long as the love has waited to pay, a better future is not a legend; waking up is a smile, sleep is sweet; wish you a lifetime of sunshine in the past, the heart with the wishes of the people will always be happy.
Friends are umbrellas in the rain, and you are not miserable; friends are charcoal in the snow, and you drive away the cold; friends are cotton in the quilt, and you are warm; friends are salt in the dish, and you are sweet; get together may be silent, and often miss after parting!
There are always a few friends you can't forget, there are always a few things worth remembering in a year, although we don't often meet in spring and winter, we must send our sincere words on special days: I wish you happiness forever!
Find a lake of blue water, fishing for a few fish; recall life's gains and losses, the heart swims outside the dust; drink pots of old wine, make some friends; laugh at the earth's gains and losses, although people in the jungle can not help but do not tire themselves!
Sincerely for your blessing, deep love for your prayers; always say do not forget, always say do not give up; not really leave, not really close!
People live a life is very hard, happy is good; people live a life is very helpless, casual is good; life life is very difficult, dashing is good; life is very short, cherish is good; life can meet you more than what is good!
Evasion is not necessarily avoided, face is not necessarily the most difficult, lonely is not necessarily unhappy, get is not necessarily long, lost is not necessarily no longer have, turn around is not necessarily the most weak.
Such a beautiful night alone is a kind of regret, miss the love can not get has become a habit, love songs let me vainly romantic, and finally the song is still the end of the people apart, who will love me, to be my other half.
The feeling of flying a kite is like to a distant object, although the distance is very far, but the heart is always not to despair, because you know, you hold this line in your hand, it is like a kind of constant destiny, pulling each other.
The years blur the faces of acquaintance, and the future makes us feel more and more lonely. Until one day you look for lost memories, only to find that the memory of the person is so familiar
No matter where your heart is wandering, I am always here in infatuation hope, your smile I have collected, your pain is my fatal wound, no matter how the years pass, hanging on to you until the white hair is as frost!
Don't say love so easily, the promise is the debt owed; also don't say no love so easily, maybe love is shut out of your door.
Growing up on the road, we miss too much, but always remember, nothing can be re-opened, treat the side of that he (she) to recognize the guarantee of happiness.
A person can fall in love with a lot of people in his life, and when you get the happiness that really belongs to you, you will understand that the previous pain is actually a kind of wealth, it allows you to learn to better to hold
Grip and cherish the people you love.
After you say what you want to say and do what you want to do, you will realize that the sky is so blue and yourself is so lovely. Not because you got what you wanted, but because you are living for yourself.
Love may begin as friendship, it may be exploitation, it may be need and loneliness, it may be deception, it may even be because of revenge. But what does that matter? As long as the end result evolves into love.
I know I should hide you in the depths of memory, in fact, I want a very simple, just a smile is enough, have you in is the splendor of my life!
Because of love, so will not become an enemy; because hurt, so will not be friends.
If, in the past life
500 times to look back in exchange for this life's rubbing shoulders, then I think rubbing shoulders is also a very deep destiny.
Love does not have to be forever. What you once had may be the best memories of your life.
Because of love,
So it will not become an enemy; because of the injury, so it will not be friends; can only be the most familiar strangers.
Originally, what you hold in your hand is not necessarily what you really have; what you have is not necessarily
what you really have engraved in your heart. Many times in life you need to consciously give up.
Yesterday with you borrowed happiness, sorry I have can not return your bitter. Look at love in the palm of the hand to stay the lines, still clear. Yesterday with you borrowed happiness, is today after the review. I'm sorry that I can't pay you back for your suffering.