The man's clean, short hair and an exquisitely fitted suit came out like a noble duke walking slowly down a rotating staircase with a glass of red wine, elegant and immaculate. The moment the lazy front tone comes in it becomes one with him, everything seems to blend so well, he walks through the song stepping on the notes and swaying his body to the melody, waiting until he opens his mouth to involuntarily let out a gasp of surprise, a rare low voice adds a few more points of flavor to the man.
This famous Spanish love song, some years ago when I was still in school, I have listened to many different versions, but his voice is too much sense of immersion, close your eyes really like being in the fields of Spain at night, the lights on the side of the road are dim and disoriented, only the moon is big and round illuminated the beautiful face of the lovers, we are in the fields and listen to the chirping of the insects casually dance, and then lowered his head and kissed her fiery lips, worrying about the life of the world. The short life of the world is unpredictable in the future, no longer able to tell her strong love, had to put all the feelings are poured into this kiss.
Besame, besame mucho,
Como si fuera esta noche la ultima vez,
Besame, besame mucho,
Que tengo miedo a perderte, perderte despues
Kiss me, kiss me y,
As if tonight were the last night,
Kiss me, kiss me y,
I'm so afraid that after tonight I'll lose you.
The melody gradually became more intense and then more subdued, like a kiss that shifted from gentle to tearful to sloppy, and I was so immersed in that kiss that I didn't want to come out until it was over.
Blame his voice too seductive, blame his eyes too soulful, even if the song will be repeated dozens of times still feel fascinating, only then my attention gradually shifted from the song to him as a person, perhaps before he made a sound I have fallen, the man with his innate temperament easily fooled my good feelings and my limited level of all the words of praise.
I looked at his lips and thought how happy I must be to get such a deep kiss.
What wasn't quite the same as the imagined encounter was the head-to-toe dislike after less than a week of getting to know Wang Lu its people.
First said I look too black and old, and then will not dress with, and finally even a little fat palms did not escape his poisonous tongue attack, the key to this person said most of the point, want to refute do not know how to refute, coupled with the use of Chinese language is not enough to pure perfection, the explanation is always explained not in place, the Northeast people with the braids like the pulling of the same from time to time to take this! "I'm not sure if you're a good person, but I'm a good person.
But truth be told, Wang Lu's hands are really beautiful, thin, white and well-boned. Since three years ago began to regular fitness, the body is gradually to strong in the long, the palm of the hand is growing thicker and thicker, clenched into a fist look is quite round, can not be defended what. This long black and old on the more no way, just involved in the film and television drama shooting work, not to mention the image is the plot needs, this whole day on the Inner Mongolia prairie wind and sun any who shall not grow more two wrinkles. But in terms of clothing, although I don't know where the confidence comes from, but I feel that I can still defend myself for a few words. Wang Lu brother "routine" like meeting began to greet in his way, a mouthful of northeast big ballast flavor.
"My well ah, you how to wear with the eighteen Luohan inside the bronze man like."
"...... What do you know, this color wearing young."
In fact, wearing orange clothes is not entirely in order to show young, is simply like this color, a look at the vibrant look, vigorous. The man heard the word "young" and happy, damage after I look anxious and began to teach me how to wear to look young and not earth.
"You can say so I'll see how good you are at wearing it?"
The man opened his arms in front of me in a circle and also narrowed his small eyes and smiled while raising an eyebrow to ask me how it is. Eyes inch by inch from the person collar to move down, light-colored lining and dark gray striped coat, just to reveal the slender neck and attractive collarbone, legs are black slim pants and Martin boots, appearing to be outstanding body, color matching is also just right. The line of sight back to his cheeks looking at that pair of smiling face full of appearance a moment unable to speak, only to know the infatuated looking at the pair of eyes stunned unconsciously swallowed a mouthful of saliva.
"What look stupid?"
"No, I just think that Brother Wang Lu is really...handsome."
Well in time to change the mouth before not to say the beautiful two words out of the mouth, dry laugh two sound away from the line of sight, the man heard compliments really smug up to continue to talk about his collocation essentials, do not know that I do not intend to here just want to strip all those clothes a clean.
"Do you really want to calm down, we two match?"
The poisonous northeastern people still maintain their own style, all the time to express my dislike, the funny thing is that after a period of time contact actually slowly get used to this mode of getting along - mutual damage. Although eighty percent of the cases I can not talk about him, but familiar with after also completely do not care every time the childish fight behavior who prevails.
The night we got the song, we went to a nearby tavern on the pretext of discussing how to choreograph it, and we didn't touch the wine for many years, but that night was a sunny day, and we could see a lot of stars in the sky, and the night was like this when I was a child in Inner Mongolia, with the stars in the sky, which was very beautiful, and then we went to Beijing, and we didn't have much of a chance to see the stars anymore. We have a table in front of the small store, just so the wind while drinking and eating food, cozy not too real.
They are talkative people, a few cups of wine under the table words can not stop, at first still talking about how to change the song, and how to match the harmony, and then pulled to some emotional things are recalling their own childhood, the age of the difference is not too much, talking about these exceptionally have **** Ming. Hour of fun is very simple, looking for neighborhood children running on the grasslands to play, have long hair beautiful sister teaching singing, every day life is to drive the sheep riding horseback and counting stars, I said emotionally, he also listened to show a few points of envy. He talked about the days of being a soldier in the army, the daily training, the relationship is better than a brother's comrades, and the blue sky and sea, he turned out in white uniform photo to show me, the photo of him like a seagull as tough and free.
Simple life makes life simple, there are not a lot of false feelings and competition for fame and fortune, although the simplicity of that time has been far away from the present, but that good has been left in the heart. In the present age and environment, want to find a heartfelt friend is really not easy to say to the end of some feelings, of course, more or glad, glad to have the opportunity to meet, can also like this sitting together to recall the young children will not have the experience and feelings.
Drinking the last cup is already one in the morning, back to the hotel I sent him to the door of the room, turn around and leave before he suddenly grabbed me, said he thought of a good idea, want me to add a section of Mongolian in the prelude part, say anything, I also think it is good to casually said to him.
"Би чамд хайртай."
"What do you mean by that?"
"It means good night." I lied.
That night was blissful and warm, with a nice evening breeze, a nice night view, and nice people. It really was like the lyrics, if I could go back to the old days, even if it was just tonight.
What kind of impression is left on a person may be affected by many factors, such as appearance, such as mannerisms, or just a subtle expression, but these are only applicable to the first meeting of the general characterization, and most of the time this impression will be in the latter part of the relationship is constantly overturned subversion and then replaced with a new impression.
When the man first arrived he had a real high-strung demeanor, always wearing a polite smile and giving pertinent advice to his juniors in his unique low voice. As a senior who is ranked among the top few in the age group of Meixi Lake, whoever meets him must respectfully call out "Wang Lu brother", and I am no exception. Perhaps because there are too many young children around, the "old people" like to get together, on the one hand, it is true that the young people do not have the vitality, on the other hand, with their own age is easier to communicate with people, so it is natural that I have time to stick to his side.
I still clearly remember the first official meeting, in the background almost no one does not know him, everyone with perhaps respect or appreciation of the gesture to go over and shake hands with him, he was a serious and dignified look with the side of the current shrinking into a ball of laughter can not even find the eyes of the people are not connected, but also to play with familiar and then realized that this person up with the skin of the child is not different at all. Although the man is not young but still retains a lot of childish innocence, often unintentionally show the same emotions and behavior as a child, and now look at him pretending to be serious instead of feeling a little funny, my name to him from Wang Liguo to Liguo to now directly called brother.
The days when there are no shooting assignments, there are often people who form groups to get together to sing and play, and there is no need to choose any restaurant or hotel, order a few takeaways in a person's room to get together. That day we chose Chuan Zi's room, Chuan Zi earlier explained that when I passed by Lv's door to take him with me, I was naturally happy to do so, until I knocked on the door of the room.
The man opened the door and saw me a little shocked, seems to be a little bit do not want me to go in has been open a slit to talk, most likely to see my doubts he also explained that he just showered, the day before with the children practicing to late so did not wash the clothes are still scattered all over the place, said half a day on the expression of the room is messy, was a person so say I was more interested in forcing the door to open to go in. The room wasn't just 'a little' messy as he said, but as a single person living in the room it wasn't quite as messy as it could have been, and I was a little pleased to find out that someone who was usually so particular about what he did turned out to be just an ordinary person who was too lazy to clean up his dirty clothes and throw them all over the place.
He had only a towel tied around his waist, hanging loosely, and his hair was still dripping when he hurriedly put away the shirts and socks and underwear that were scattered on the bed and couch. I couldn't help but sweep my eyes up to the line of his upper body and calf muscles, and for a moment I regretted coming in.
The temperature in the room was extraordinarily high despite it being winter, and it even felt a little scorching now, so I explained to him what I was doing and hurried out to get some fresh air. I wondered if my words and movements had been too stiff, and only hoped that my overly burning gaze and increasingly uncontrollable feelings hadn't been spied on by him.
Three months are gone. The last day of the recording of the program, we are quite sad, emotional point of the brothers can not help but say goodbye to the tears, I can also be considered an emotional person, always have what to say, want to cry on the cry want to laugh on the laugh, this is intended to no matter what happens to be held back, but unfortunately, the last also did not hold back. Three months together is enough to make a lot of partners, but also enough to let a relationship take root, although this relationship has been tried to cover up the repression, but it is still attempting to break through the ground to seek a ray of light that does not exist.
The night before we left the hotel, I followed him back to his room after the gathering and said, "Liz. The first song you sang here, can you sing it again for me?
He just touched the switch on the hand paused for a moment eventually did not turn on the light, the man turned to face me, until the door closed the moment completely no light at all. Going into each other's rooms had been commonplace for months, but it was only when both men stood looking at each other in the darkness, as they were now, that they realized something was indeed not quite the same, but for a moment no one said a word, and they just stood there in silence.
"Ga...brother and you, can't be...like that."
Time seemed to have stood still for a year before he finally spoke, still in a low, sexy voice, presumably at a loss for words, splitting a sentence several times before finishing it. The answer is kind of predictable, this person usually love to joke, but when it comes to business is not ambiguous, stoic and rational, never be swayed by the emotions, the same is the part that I love so much.
"Tell you what, brother, I'll sing for you."
Pupils gradually adjusting to the pitch blackness, I looked at his silhouette pulling on his wrist and singing to myself, he didn't interrupt but chose to quietly listen to me sing all the way through. We hugged for a long time after that, I know I was rejected, but more in my heart is the relief, I'm really bad at cheating, even if greatly rejected is better than always pressed in the heart.
I told him not to take it to heart, not a big deal, and let him think of it as just getting used to being together and not being able to part with it, and he accepted what I said. I turned on the light to get a good look at his pretty cheeks and ended up leaving the room with a smile on my face.
It's impossible to say that it wasn't hard, I attribute it to the fact that the song was so moving, but sadly only to myself.
Fortunately, we had the chance to meet again.
The real realization of something called "fame" must be on the stage of the tour, the scene that I once dared not dream of has now become a reality, the huge venue was packed, all the audience was full of passionate gift us shouts and applause, this moment is really a kind of world at the foot of the sense of pride. Of course, fame doesn't always bring happiness, and the increasingly full schedule is one thing, but how to bear the love of the fans is another.
For example, during the Changsha tour, Wang Lu, an elderly man, changed into his costume for the next show while backstage and asked himself, "How can there be people shouting, 'Baby, mommy loves you'? That's too awkward." His brows were furrowed together, disgust and rejection written all over his face.
"Luigi, you see you're just too old to understand the young."
Tianhe spat out naturally as he tidied up his hair, something he was always good at doing, but the man being spat at was obviously not too happy with the answer and turned his head to look at me. Whenever this kind of topic comes up there's always a way to avoid it, and a bad feeling just arose in my heart and the next second it was fulfilled.
"To say old, this one is even older than me. Gazi you say, do you understand?"
Several people laughed loudly and turned their attention to me, already used to being said by him old long ago not to argue about the age of the matter, I shook my head to indicate that I do not understand but do not feel awkward, perhaps the times are really different, like this kind of words in more than ten years ago no one dared to say, that blunt and revealing, and even some offended and forceful. But to be honest, in my heart I actually envy them a little bit, I can shout out my favorites like that, without any fear.
The topic had long since changed to the next one, and I was still chewing on those two words over and over again as I tied my shirt's cufflinks, and the picture in my mind gradually became clearer and clearer of the man's face. Even if I tried it once, it would be good. Once the thought was formed, it was overwhelming, the thought was quickly driving my cheeks red, and my throat felt like it was blocked by something crying out to be done.
"Froze what again, ready to go."
The man slapped me before I came back to my senses, and I followed him onto the stage, calling out to the man in a minuscule voice before I walked onto the stage, baby. I'm not sure if he heard me, only that the cheers of the entire crowd were drowned out by the sound of my heartbeat.
It was all thanks to that drink the night before.
When I opened my eyes at 6:30 a.m. all I felt was a splitting headache, but the reason wasn't so much the previous night's drinking as it was remorse for the wrong things I'd done in the heat of the moment. The man is still sleeping next to me, the upper half of the body is bare, chest covered with similar hickey marks, I hold a fluke quietly lifted the corner of the quilt soon confirmed that the lower half of the body is also bare. Clothes and pants lying quietly on the floor, from the doorway to the bedside everywhere, in a hotel room with a king-size bed this scene even with the toes think also know what happened.
Perhaps it was just a matter of taking them off and not doing anything with them? I then felt two used condoms under my waist.
There's nothing worse in the world than thinking it was a dream and then realizing it actually happened and you remember every detail of it. Probably the only thing you can feel grateful for is that you were lucky enough to wear what you needed to wear.
Perhaps I was woken up by the noise, the always calm man woke up to see the scene also inevitably showed a look of embarrassment, to be honest, I thought he would beat me up, so when he did not say anything to him to apologize for his mistakes, the man stared at the floor for a while of silence on the contrary, comforted me, talking about what all are adults, since things have been like this on all the responsibility.
But what he doesn't know is that I'm not completely drunk, and I even remember the whole process from beginning to end, in order to avoid a physiological reaction in front of him early in the morning I stopped remembering in time. The man's face was pale but surprisingly calm, I was just about to say something but he opened his mouth before I could.
"Gah, let's just pretend nothing happened."
After that he didn't say another word, he just got up holding his waist and picked up the clothes on the floor and put them on after shaking the dust off. I sat and watched him like a child at a loss for words, not knowing what to say or do to cover up the emptiness of my heart, I'd done what I'd always wanted to do to him in the name of alcohol, but even just this one night of pleasure was something I'd stolen from him, he'd never belonged to me.
"Liz..."
Finally as he was dressed and ready to leave I wrapped my arms around him attaching a not so gentle kiss, the man squeezed my shoulders pushing me away and then packed up his things and left. I kept chanting his name under my breath again as I usually do. Brother Liz, Brother Liz, Wang Liz...
When will you land in my arms?
The days went on like this. I didn't think there would be any more contact outside of work, but he seemed to be really intent on treating it as if nothing had happened, but it's not true to say that nothing has changed, the relationship seems to have pulled in a bit after the physical contact, and even though there has been no real progress since then, his attitude towards me has changed somewhat.
At the Poly show in Xi'an, we sang the chorus of "Past Times", and I don't know how he felt, but I was very excited, which was evident from the fact that I held his hand for a long time and refused to let go of it, and he didn't expect me to hold it for so long, and he was vaguely tempted to get out of it, but I forced him to hold on to it. Unexpectedly I received a warning from the cellist just as soon as I stepped off the stage.
"Don't ever do that with me outside again."
Instead of retorting that he had been the one who had started it in the first place, I sought a breakthrough on the other hand, and though I muffled my agreement, I followed him into the unoccupied changing room and then dishonestly touched his hand to stand face-to-face with someone. He has never been able to stand people staring at his request, if the tone of voice a little softer effect is better, is my experience is also the usual tactics.
"Liz means it's okay when no one's around, right?"
He didn't say anything and took it as a default. I pressed on right then and there and hugged the man tightly into my arms, and he gave a couple of token pushes to say what if someone came in. Whatever. I think I should be very fond of hugging, the person in the arms is not as soft and fragrant as a girl, but the hug is very secure, strong and warm, if I can I really want to just drown in this embrace.
Physical contact is considered to be tacitly recognized, but this contact is also limited, the premise is that only two people when it is possible, holding hands can be, kissing moderation, and then up is prohibited. Even if there are times when both people react after kissing and touching, the man also adheres to the principle of not allowed to continue, even if it is just this for me is already more than I can ask for, in addition to the occasional overreaction of the body is a little difficult to get through the other is acceptable.
I can't say whether the change was for the better or for the worse, but this inch of moonlight finally reached me, and I held it carefully for fear of shattering it in my dreams, and I held it gently for fear that it would be melted by my heat, and so I had to hide it away because it was the only way I could continue to be his intimate but unspeakable lover.
From a year ago busy work has been the norm, although with him always not in a place, but the contact has not reduced at all, as long as there is an opportunity to meet, no time to call, even if sometimes only a simple to say a couple of sentences on the rush to hang up also feel happy.
After the year, the schedule was slightly reduced but still did not change the busy status quo, a full day's work to the end of the evening has been dark. The reminder on his cell phone - 4.9
was his birthday. But there was no him.
Thinking of this is more or less a bit of despondency, lying on the bed holding the phone quickly turned out his WeChat, mulled over the wording for a long time before sending a message to someone. Today is your birthday, I wish you a happy birthday, work is not busy when you come out to get together, don't be too tired. Rest early." Immediately after that, he added "Би чамд хайртай" followed by 'good night'. Sent out not a moment before the call came, heart and surprised and happy a jump up to sit up and clear his throat before connecting.
"Liz, you're still up?"
"Really think I don't know what it means?"
He didn't reply to my words, instead he single-handedly asked me out of my depth. It was time to say something to him, but instead I hesitated in this moment, remembering what we had been through and bringing my feelings for him back to the table. I don't know when he became an inch of moonlight, quietly accompanying me in the darkness, bright and calm, without a little temperature but always let me keep the temperature. If at first I was only attracted by his temperament and voice, and later by his person and qualities, then what am I attracted to now? What do I want to get out of it, knowing that it is a relationship that offers no guarantees, is not seen in the light of day, and is doomed to be fruitless?
Reality has robbed me of my courage, perhaps for a little comfort, perhaps for a moment's excitement, perhaps just to achieve a moment of recognition. But no matter how bad it is made out to be, it's ultimately a relationship, one that doesn't care about giving or getting, one that is reckless and likewise has no regrets. Whatever it was that attracted me to him was fine, and there was no moment when I realized how I felt more than now.
"Liz, open the door for me."
Not caring about the man's shocked expression, I just sought out those thin lips and kissed them defiantly.
I don't know where the road ahead leads, but as long as you're by my side, I'll get by no matter how hard it is.