As parents, their children must be concerned about the relationship with their in-laws when they get married. In-laws are a special kind of relative. If there is friction and conflict, all three families will suffer. It is important to get along with your in-laws after your child gets married. Don't compare; the English philosopher Bacon once said that a man can make a stranger rich, but he cannot forgive the rise of a man around him. Ask yourself if you have ever compared yourself to your in-laws. At your children's engagement parties and weddings, have you ever paid special attention to your in-laws' dresses and compared them to your own, said one aunt at the age of fifty, I only watched half the video of my son's marriage and never want to watch it again. I'm too short and fat. She was airy. I went on stage with her hand in hand and compared myself to her. I was embarrassed.
Not only that, there are even comparisons and people with children. Many seniors today find it enjoyable and thankful to help their children and their children, but today there are many dual income families that look at not having their grandchildren and can't afford to help. As a result, some will bring up their children and compare them to their in-laws. Some grandmothers say,I brought up my children when they were born. His grandmother was practically free, square dancing every day. There is a reason why the child should follow their last name and she should take care of it. I did it for that reason. The daughter, too, did not know her. One grandmother said,I took my grandchildren. Can't take it anymore. Yes, it is. His grandmother will enjoy his old age. This old couple traveled around the country. In the future, I'll take a year and let her take a year. Of course, it's rich indeed to compare who is dutiful to their children and who is more dutiful to their grandchildren. But such comparisons are harmless, and the greatest harm is done to their children.
The comparison is like a poisonous snake that haunts my heart. Mildly, it is an imbalance in my heart, and heavily, it is jealousy and hatred. If you can't control your inner viper, read True Nobility by author Ernest Hemingway. He said to rise above others, not to be noble, the true aristocrat should be better than you used to be. Yourself. Comparisons between in-laws are the most incredible. As the saying goes, how do you walk by the river without getting your shoes wet. If you cannot control your heart, you should at least control your words and actions. There should be less contact between in-laws. Less contact means less comparison and naturally less conflict.
Let me tell the story of my aunt, who is sixty years old. She is a retired teacher with a monthly pension of over seven thousand dollars. She has only one son who is very promising. After graduating from a major university, she stayed in the big city. After her grandson was born, she went to take care of the child for three years, not only taking care of the child, but also doing housework and subsidizing her living expenses. For three years, Auntie not only subsidized her monthly pension. She really didn't have much money in her hand. Last year, Auntie's in-laws passed away unexpectedly, and she took her with her to celebrate the New Year.
Initially, my aunt and in-laws had met only a couple of times during my son's marriage and made a good impression on each other. But both of them felt dissatisfied when customs and habits differed in just a few days due to the New Year. What made Auntie even more uncomfortable was that she had only given her grandson dollars for New Year's Eve while her mother-in-law had given her grandson money for New Year's Eve, which suddenly compared her to her. But Auntie's money is usually already her son's. After the New Year, Auntie felt very uncomfortable. She said, "I really shouldn't spend New Year's with my in-laws. If you don't spend time together, then things won't be so. Who would hate a stranger. There is no reason to not love and there is no reason to not hate. You don't need to love or hate to spend time with your in-laws, as long as there is no conflict it won't affect your children. Life is good. The best way is to avoid contact.