Bringing up children is another big problem nowadays besides marriage. In the past, a family's children always seem to be taken for granted by the in-laws to bring, but with the progress of the times and cultural enhancement, many people have broken this old habit. Some people are reluctant to let their in-laws take care of them, thinking that they are sloppy, while some in-laws have awakened to their own self-consciousness, believing that they have labored all their lives, and it is time for them to enjoy the blessings of life, and they will not help their children take care of their children any more. And these are a no-brainer in either case.
The topic came up recently in a conversation between my best friend and me. My best friend is a strong woman, and when she was in school she used to be in the front of everything. Not only is her academic performance good, but she also performs well in clubs, is a cadre in the school's student council, and occasionally represents the school in other schools or organizations to participate in some learning activities. Her ability and behavior have been recognized by her teachers and elders, and she has never slacked off. And all these experiences accumulated in the school made her keep this strong character and positive acting style even after she got out of the campus and put into work.
Bestie worked for two years, from a humble fresh graduate to department manager, and then after two years, she was upgraded from manager to vice president of the company, all the way to the fast and furious, the thunder and lightning. In the company can be said to be in addition to the leadership on the call of the wind and rain, subordinates to her respect, and even became the object of study of many new companies. The success of the career, so that she soon had her own car and house, do not need to rely on anyone, not only to support themselves, but also to give their parents a good life.
But year after year, she was already in her 30s, and eventually she had to have a place to call home, and even though she didn't feel like she needed it, she was forced to have a boyfriend by her parents' urging and her relatives' rounds of persuasion. After about a year of dating, they got married. Before they got married, she and her husband agreed that they would not have children so soon after marriage. Because their mother's health is not very good, so after the child, by his parents to bring, she continued to work, her husband have promised.
But by the time the girlfriends really had a child, her mother-in-law was reluctant. Her mother-in-law's argument was that she wanted her best friend to quit her job and come back home, do the housework and cooking, and fulfill her responsibilities as a wife and daughter-in-law, instead of running around every day, coming home in the middle of the night, and giving birth to a child that they still have to take care of, so what do you want this daughter-in-law to do? If you want her to take care of her child, then she would rather go to square dance. In the face of her best friend's request, her mother-in-law directly told her, "Don't even think about it!"
Bestie also argued with her husband several times because of this issue, and she felt that she had already said yes in the first place, how could she say she was backing out? Her husband's idea, on the other hand, is on the side of his own mother, hoping that BFF can come home to bring up the children, thinking that women should return to the family after all. But the girlfriends so many years, has been rushing career, never stopped, she is afraid of stopping after the brain will become blunt, more afraid of their own will become a home cooking every day "yellow face", so she can not accept such a request.
Finally, the two sides were at a standstill, and no one was willing to give in. My best friend had to hire a nanny to take care of the kids, and she continued to work, but tried to come home earlier to be with the kids. This makes her mother-in-law's opinion of her very big, and her husband is in a cold war, but she is not willing to back down, the heart is still a bit of a gamble, in addition to their own unwillingness to quit, but also do not want to go along with her husband and mother-in-law's will. The situation in their family remained unchanged even when she talked to me about it. Perhaps in society such a problem is not so much, but also still exists, in the end, career and family should be how to divide the trade-offs?
Emotional message: family and children is a heavy love and responsibility, sometimes it may let us sacrifice some things, but life will always have trade-offs, parents give children, difficult to pretend to others.