The funniest classic sentences about the funniest classic sentences
1) Feng Shui is not a place with mountains and water, but by you to accompany the burial.
2) Fifty cents and fifty cents are the happiest, because they come together.
3) I want to lose weight I got fat, want to gain weight wallet but slowly thin.
4) I have been running in the field of hope, it is inevitable that I will not trip over the stone of disappointment.
5) In the past, to talk about friends, we first asked if they had friends, but now we have to ask if they are gay.
6) Why is there a moon on the forehead of Bao Qingtian, because the day does not understand the darkness of the master.
7) Why crabs walk horizontally with pincers is capricious!
8) Don't challenge my patience with your temper, or you will die a beautiful death.
9) Hello, the number you have dialed has passed away, please dial again in the next life.
10) Apples are the real bosses of the fruit world. One seduced Eve, one smashed Newton awake, one became a cell phone brand, and one dominated square dancing.
The most hilarious classic sentences
1) She dares to steal money today and steal people tomorrow, this is all a dragon operation.
2) Do not miss some crooked dates how to know what is the best.
3) Don't force me, or I'll be great and out of control.
4) You do not go to confession never know how ugly you are, you do not go to borrow money never know how bad your character.
5) Jealousy is a knife, either in others or in yourself.
6) In fact, I do not like loneliness at all, why loneliness, always come to me.
7) Hurt people love to drink wine, lonely people love to sing old songs.
8) Teach others how to goods for a lifetime, but no one to teach how to die.
9) Jokes actually have hot and cold points, who does not know humor.
10) Love is usually the abandonment of fools, want a liar.
11) My girlfriend is dating another man behind my back. Oh, your girlfriend is so strong.
12) This guy doesn't know much about music, so he's sometimes unreliable and sometimes out of tune.
13) Never fell into a good college student, relying on the strong quality!
14) In those years, the math teacher tapped the blackboard and shouted: about it? About not about?
15) The first time you do not look too good, but then even more squashed.
16) Put down the butcher's knife to become a Buddha means that you put down the butcher's knife the moment the other side cut you into two petals.
17) Brushing teeth is a mixed blessing. One hand holds the cup, the other hand holds the wash.
18) Going to bed after 12 pm is equivalent to chronic suicide, not eating breakfast is equivalent to chronic suicide, often barbecue is equivalent to chronic suicide, cell phone hours on is equivalent to chronic suicide, stay indoors for a long time is equivalent to chronic suicide, too much complaining is equivalent to chronic suicide, lack of exercise is equivalent to chronic suicide. I suddenly realized that I did not do anything a day, light TM suicide!
19) At ten o'clock in the evening, my daughter-in-law, who was traveling abroad, called. The following is the dialog! Daughter-in-law: where are you? I: at home! Daughter-in-law: really at home? I'm not out fooling around? Me: Are you sick again? I'm not at home, where am I? Daughter-in-law: that's good, then you go to the middle door of the refrigerator, the third compartment to see what I went to take a look, there is a picture of the two of us. Told her. Daughter-in-law: uh. Then you are at home, go to bed early!
20) Since I turned into shit, no one stepped on my head.
21) Daze this thing, if done well is called deep. If you do not do well, it is very likely to fall asleep
22) hospital, the doctor said to the husband, your wife's body is not a big problem, you go home and everything to go along with her a little bit, try not to fight with her, what requirements to try to meet her, it is best to take her out of the trip twice a year, so that she can keep her spirit happy, it will soon be good. The husband went home, said to his wife: wife, the doctor said you have no cure for this disease.
23) I always think that the bed, I think, is too neatly made, will be a bit of a peaceful old age. Well, or messy, more energetic.
24) I prayed to Jesus for a solid, stable life, and he thought about it and said, "Let's talk about world peace first.
25) I asked him: husband, do you think I am ugly? I thought my husband would say: baby is not ugly at all. The result looked at me and threw down two words: do not mind.
26) elementary school students essay "tangled", the full text is as follows: I broke up with Duan Wu Jie, and now waiting for Zhong Qiu Jie, but in fact, I like Fang Shujia, so I want to Fang Shujia. But her sister, Fang Xinjia, is even more beautiful, and I like it even more. But my heart has always loved Bu Shangxue the most, how I want to be with her forever~ and of course her sister Bu Shangban.
27) The world is unfair in that: God said: I want light! The first thing I want to do is to get the best out of the world, and then I'll go back to the world. The girl said: I want a diamond ring! So she has a diamond ring. The rich man said: I want a woman! So he has a woman. I said: I want a bath! I can't believe the water is out.
28) Mrs. Teacher, you will be from the old line! A long, long time later, Mrs. Master, you will spare me!
29) If you ask your friends around the word, if ten people, nine people said they do not know, then it is an opportunity, if ten people, nine people know, is an industry.
30) Sister is not the square fortune-telling, nagging so many you love to hear high.
31) stupid man + stupid woman = marriage; stupid man + smart woman = divorce; smart man + stupid woman = extramarital affair; smart man + smart woman = romantic love.
32) Heroes do not ask for the way out, rogues do not look at the age!
33) When I was young, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up, and then I realized that the whole world could not save me.
34) Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it!
35) You fish and meat people, the people will meat you.
36) When I am particularly sleepy, moral standards are not awake, so teachers beware.
37) Today in the road to see a grandmother fell in the street, I ran over to the grandmother to help up, the results look like she is going to fall, I think it is estimated that I want to blackmail me for money, I decisively fell to the ground first, on the ground and constantly twitching and foaming at the mouth, the grandmother stayed for a moment, I was twitching while squirming, probably squirming to two meters away, climbed up and patted the dust and walked away, the grandmother is still stagnant in the original place of dumbfounded. The first time I saw this was when I was in the middle of the night.
38) Men's knees have gold, I cut off the whole leg, even a piece of copper did not find!
39) Don't talk about lifetime, don't talk about forever, who can promise the future? What we can grasp is nothing more than the local feelings at that time. But the whole life, is also countless now composed of, try to good every moment, is also forever.
40) When interacting with people, listen more and talk less. This is, why God gave us a mouth and two ears.
The most classic funny sentences
The most classic funny sentences
1. The son does not listen to the words can be appropriate to play, or not show the old man's majesty, the Taiwan issue is so.
2. When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's robe ......
3. Spring full of garden can not be closed, I entice red apricots out of the wall
4. I had wanted to be a problematic teenager, however, I have been living by the rules for so many years.
5. It's raining, don't forget to take an umbrella, it's a small thing to get wet, it's a problem to get sick!
6. Hair goes without a trace, dandruff is more outstanding!
7. A fat man actually claimed that he was not a roughneck.
8. Use your 2B pencil to draw your life.
9. Even if you are ugly, you have to fall in love and talk about the world being full of love.
10. I envy you for knowing me so young.
11. Since I became a piece of shit, no one dares to step on my head.
12. Sitting on the name of big milk, enjoy the treatment of two milk!
13. Other people's money is outside my body.
14. Others are pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend to be serious.
15. We are all farsighted, blurring the happiness closest to us.
16. Drink white wine a catty, I absolutely do not feel, because drink half a catty has been drinking death.
17. Drunken me who do not serve, I will help the wall.
18. Wistful talent is like pregnancy, a long time to let people see.
19. I fought with fat, almost did not sacrifice.
20. I'm an animal with my clothes off, and I'm a clothed animal with my clothes on!
21. Life since ancient times, who did not Shǐ, who go to the toilet does not use paper
22. You prostrate on the ground to look up to others, you can not blame them to stand straight and look down on you.
23. Money is not the problem, the problem is no money.
24. Please do not take my tolerance of you, as your shameless capital.
25. Sister is not customer service, you do not have the right to ask sis to answer this and that.
26. Driving is not difficult, only fear of newcomers.
27. The soul of the sexy, is the bone of the real sexy.
28. Never seen such a disgusting school - the midterm exams are scheduled for May 8th!
29. Were you thrown up 3 times since you were born, but only caught 2 times?
30. Will pay more than pay to think about it, forget it, do not want to live.
31. I am still young and need guidance.
32. Girl, your bed is always busy with people coming and going.
33.O friends around me, hurry up and get famous so that my memoirs can be a bestseller ......
34.Give me a pivot point and I'll warp that neighbor's kid's car into a ditch and save him the trouble of honking when he sees me.
35. House prices are getting higher and higher, so, good men are getting less and less ......
The most classic funny sentence appreciationThe most classic funny sentence appreciation
1. When I was a kid, I liked to play hide-and-seek, and when my friends were all hidden, I snuck home.
2. How many times have I told you, don't always take the cactus thorns as toothpicks.
3. In a year, my least favorite is only two days, that is, sunny days and rainy days.
4. It is easy to have time to stretch a lazy waist, abdominal muscles strained said.
5, this year's examination is actually very simple can I will, it does not test, I will not, it all test.
6, Confucius can not solve the problem, simple, Laozi help solve the problem.
7, with the rose to symbolize love do not know because of its petals or its thorns.
8, the makeup of the beautiful count what, capable of removing makeup to us to see.
9, you said you just came to this world without thinking about our feelings?
10, XiaoMo had crossed: people can't look at each other, XiaoSan is not to be measured.
11, when I was a child, my mom always like to coax us to say that it is picked up from the outhouse.
12, I'm not toilet paper, can not do every girl need every day.
13, the girl cares about the second half of life happiness, the boy only cares about the second half of the body is comfortable.
14, life's most painful thing is to eat every day the price of instant noodles.
15, the friendship of this society is like a vase, was pounded on the broken.
16, I wanted to come to a graceful turn, who knows that it is gorgeous hit the wall.
17, when happiness suddenly came to knock on the door, I hesitated to the left or right.
18, small, if it is not I can not beat you, I would have turned with you.
19, remember, in the future, if anyone dares to mess with you, you put your shoulder out and say: Pinru, out.
20, hey, women always have so 30 days a month do not want to go to work.
21, I think it is time to go back to Mars, it seems that the earth is not suitable for me.
22, you deleted my QQ directly Thank you for my decision.
23, if I die one day, remember that it is absolutely boring to die.
24, Shenzhou line, I see line? I don't want to pay the phone bill, I'll see if you can do it.
25, the flow straight down three camel shit, a pity that the body did not bring paper!
26, as the saying goes, women like long bad bad man, not like long bad man.
27, when I was old, I dyed white and hot rolled to go as a foreign-style old woman to go.
28, if the man is not willing to give you a wedding dress, you directly send him a robe.
29, you when sister is Mona Lisa ah, every day to everyone smiling.
30, capable of let's compare who is shorter ah, counting look, I am sure to lose.
31, I'm the prince riding a white horse in your heart!
32, we meet the process is as follows: love at first sight, and then decline, three and exhaustion.
33, such weather, I want to shut myself in the refrigerator does not come out.
34, many years later we you walk your red carpet I crossed my crosswalk.
35, guarantee book guarantee book guarantee book is not to ensure that the future does not read well.
36, you want what diamond I what diamond all send you but now only a brick a not.
37, my ideal is to have a cat that can be pulled out to walk.
38, others say you are ugly, but I feel that your ugly and your face has no direct relationship ah.
1, I am poor, please do not rob the tomb!
2, I thought that as long as I was as dark as coal in the sun, no one would recognize me, but I was wrong, I was completely wrong, and now I'm so dark that I'm shiny.
3, if not too many scammers, I would have sold my kidney!
4, you into the foreign enterprise I am a worker, because that day is the amount of invigilator teacher days - sit in front of me not moving! Life ah!
5, I received a cell phone text message, there is a monkey in the zoo is very ugly, people see people vomit, one day I went to my vomit, one day you went to the monkey vomit.
6. I drew a coffin with you and her lying inside. How kind I am to let you die together
7, do not go to our school of foreign women do not know that they are a little bird no wonder Zhao Chuan sang this song so sad
8, work is so interesting! Especially watching others work
9, girls are like the moon cake in the Mid-Autumn Festival, after the fifteenth night is worthless!
10. Say goodbye to masturbation and look for love. Exercise JJ, enjoy every day.
11, do not think that the girl by beautiful can make me move, at least she has to be stupid enough!
12, now the hospital can be comparable to the speed of ATM machine eating money. The funniest sentence
13, in the church to listen to the sermon when we should keep quiet, disturbing others to sleep is very rude.
14, today the supervising teacher said: I hurry to send the paper you hurry to do, after doing each back to their respective homes to find each mother.
15, the collection of old man's rags how still do not come ah
16, you do not skin into the meat does not enter ah!
17, Czechoslovakia! My name is JACK, my wife always complains about me like this. (JACKSLOWFUCK)
18, is not everyone will know one or even more people like the newscast, every day of their lives in addition to lying is bragging
19, a long time no one to blow the bull so fresh.
20, love is a luxury. Like the fox fur coat in the window of Paris, so dazzling, so charming, but the price tag on it will make people wake up. Love is also a luxury, can only look from afar, do not fantasize or touch it because that requires the right time, the right person to meet in the right place, the lack of one.
21. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six!
22, the wife is a big tree, the lover is a small grass, plant a big tree is good to cool, raise a piece of grass is good to walk the birds, harmonious society, green.
23, the insanity of the madman is not terrible. Scary is the mental normal crazy.
24, when I was a child, the teacher told me: there is a hard-working villain and a lazy villain in the human body when you hesitate they will fight. Elementary school when the diligent little man often to lazy little man beat up, junior high school when the fight into a tie, to high school is lazy little man often win. But when I got to college I suddenly realized that they weren't fighting anymore, and damn the hardworking villain was beaten to death.
25, a moment of impulse, the crisis of the children and grandchildren! About the most hilarious sentences about the compilation
26, the crowd is drunk I wake up alone, the old man is immodest!
27, men parking fines will be a fight with the police, the woman on the side of the persuasion; women parking fines will be a fight with the men around, the police on the side of the persuasion.
28, money is really that important to you? Speaking for more than 3 hours a penny does not drop.
29, get up every morning and yell: fuck the little Japanese. This is not only good for health, but also cultivate patriotism and morality!
30, when you were a child your mother hung a bone for you, at least there is a dog to play with you!
31, what did you look like before the crash?
32, from heaven to hell, I passed through the earth!
33, would rather sacrifice the last virgin in China, never leave any virgin in Japan!
34, there is no health insurance and life insurance, do not see justice after dark.
35, attacking brain cells is much more difficult than attacking egg cells.
36, it is the woman who doesn't give at first, and then it is the woman who is anxious to have it!
37, a woman lying in a row, undressed from their bodies to roll again, see how many in the end can X.
38, the woman unit sent a thousand dollars, she will tell the man sent a thousand dollars, tell their friends sent five hundred; man unit sent a thousand dollars, he will tell the woman sent five hundred, tell their friends sent fifteen.
39, you do not like the trash can, has been loaded ah loaded ah loaded ah loaded the latest and most hilarious sentences
40, the math department party activities actually forced the girls to clean the boys' dormitory, its behavior is really outrageous!
41, the similarities between my father and I are different.
42, a man walked into the library to borrow a "self - kill - Guide - South. The librarian yelled: Get out! You certainly do not return it, do not borrow!
43, the sky collapsed you top, I pad, huh
44, far from looking at the konjac flower, close to look at the king flower, look at the cannibalistic flowers
45, adults are expired children, the elderly is the failure of adults.
46, in front of a female classmate: you are really clear water out of hibiscus!
47, I study T. rex feed, eunuchs birth, how much start-up capital is needed to engage in real estate on Mars and other professional academic issues.
48, lovers end up as a house slave, there are housing people end up in the family.
49, teacher Mrs., you from the old line! A long, long time later teacher Mrs., you will spare the old line!
50, your complex features, can not hide your simple intelligence.
51. Fill her emptiness with your excess!
52, lost love, even if you see two straight railroad tracks, but also can not help but imagine it as two lines of tears, flowing to the sky
53, with the leader to do 100 good things, not as good as with the leader to do a bad thing.
54, God! My clothes are thin again.
55, do not ask for the right door, just feel in place.
56, in order to cooperate with the successful completion of the work of family planning in China this year, I decided not to contact with friends of the opposite sex for the time being, thank you for your cooperation.
57, not long ago, little name to participate in the small military training. One day just home, Xiaoming mom let Xiaoming count the chickens are not all into the nest, Xiaoming walked to the chicken nest in front of the chicken said: report!
58, when I saw the B pretend, brother always lowered his head. It's not that I'm well cultivated, but I'm looking for a brick.
59, remember just went to junior high school when we are not familiar with the teacher. Once on the math class, the teacher wanted to let a student on the blackboard to do the problem, but forgot his name, it happens to be that students are very fat, our teacher pointed to the child to come to a shocking words, that ball you come over to do this question.
60, female: I want to find a boyfriend. Male: I help you, our dormitory has a good. Woman: I'm with him you do not heartache? Male: think too much, right? Don't worry I have nothing to do with him.
61, cooking vegetables, a crab top out of the pot lid, said to me: good heat! I told it: if you want to be red, you can endure it.
62, if the leader does not give me a raise next month, I'll resign, and then send him two Chinese before resignation, smoke him to death.
63, inserted into the hole is the plug, there is a hole is inserted by others is the socket!
64, I don't like to go to bed with a woman only many times, but like to go to bed with many women only once.
65, don't think you can jump more than my young days, the coffin is loaded with dead people not old people!
66, the world's farthest distance is not life and death, but I'm in the Sina microblogging, and you are in the Tencent microblogging.
67, the TV to see the skinny African refugees, even very heartbreaking, but the grandmother said: baby ah, you can not be deceived by the current TV, they will not have money to eat that their mother also took them to perm!
68, have time to learn feng shui to go, after death accounted for a good tomb is also considered to make up for the regrets of life can not afford to buy a good house.
69, only women and English sad, only wife and work hard to find!
70, guilty is the universal truth, you and I are just one of them.