How to educate children who do not listen
How to educate children who do not listen, nowadays most of the families have only one child, so the parents will be overly pampered children, so that the children become unable to listen to reason. So parents need to raise awareness and give enlightenment. The following to teach parents children do not listen to how to educate.
Children do not listen to how to educate 11, stand in the child's perspective to see the problem
Parents should be good at standing in the child's point of view to see the problem, which requires parents not only to lower the body posture, but also to put the mentality of low. Many parents get angry because their children don't accept their ideas. Parents should take a moment to think about whether your suggestions, requests or ideas are really appropriate for their children. Put yourself in your child's shoes for a change. For example, parents want to go to the mall, the child does not like to go there, do you know why? He feels that he can't keep up with the adults on such a long walk, his hands are busy and his feet are sore. The child wants to go to the park to play, you are afraid that he lost, said there is too chaotic, too noisy, in fact, the child is trying to follow the square dance grandmothers to enlighten their artistic cells. If you are blaming him without knowing the reason behind it, do you dare to say that your idea must be right? Will he listen to you?
Sometimes, the doubts or problems encountered are immediately solved by a different perspective. In this way, it can have a good effect on education.
2, learn to take the initiative to approach the child
Sometimes the child is not very willing to communicate with the parents, what is the reason for this? This is beyond the scope of the generation gap, parents can recall, they are often in a condescending attitude to speak with their children, rather than a friend of the role of their equal communication, this "misplaced communication" itself is a kind of communication can not be long lasting. Parents try to think of the same, which child is willing to face a face of parents, a talk is to reprimand and complain of the way, endless reproach, hit and deny, even as an adult, you are willing to communicate with such a person? Over time, children either become silent or explode in silence, causing greater and more intense conflicts and cold wars. What kind of state would you be in after two hours if you were endlessly berated by your leader? What about if it was half a day? What about a day's time? You would surely be cursing this leader as a psychopath or strongly resenting it in your mind. If that is the case, what reason do you have to scold an untutored child? You have to realize that a child sits inside the school or kindergarten for six or seven hours, and then comes home to face your crazy reproach, why should a parent make things difficult for a child? You can see that parents need to learn to understand, and read their children.
No matter how busy you are at work, you must find some time to spend with your child, play games with him, play sports, you have to learn to take the initiative to approach your child and be his friend.
3, let the child try to do things on their own
A lot of children are only children, there is a very real problem, these children due to the home by the spoiled majority, most of the lack of self-care ability. What is the reason for such a situation of the child? Who else is away from the parents. Usually, a lot of things at home are done by you, afraid that he will suffer a little harm, do not let a little "suffering", do not give him the opportunity to grow and exercise, how can he exercise this ability? And many parents will be far away to throw over a sentence, things at home, you do not have to do anything, as long as you study hard, get good grades on the line. In this way, parents have overlooked a very important issue, the ability to live and the ability to learn, is mutually influential and connected.
The child's ability to live and do things in an organized manner and to take care of himself is often accompanied by a unique ability to think. A child's qualities will manifest themselves in learning, realizing unimaginable potential. Therefore, it is very beneficial for parents to let go of their own hands as much as possible and let their children to do their own 'things' independently. As the saying goes, you can help your child walk a little, but you can't help him for the rest of his life. Parents will always be old, and there will always be a road to walk on alone.
4, the free space to the child
Parents want the child to play their own unique personality, we must give him enough independent space. In the developmental period of the child, psychological and physical age is gradually mature, and constantly in the enhancement of self-consciousness, the child will need more independent private space and personal autonomy right to choose. Therefore, parents can not do everything for the child, more need to respect and leave private space to him, so that he has the right to appropriate free arrangement and choice of time. This is what a lot of parents think they are doing, they are thinking of their children and arranging things for them, but the children don't eat that, and they are drifting away from their parents.
Some parents read their children's letters, diaries, or phone calls, interrogate their children about their interactions with other students, and take control of their children's learning and time. For example, if a child is doing homework and the parent looks at what the child is doing from time to time. This will make the child feel that his/her privacy is being violated and that he/she is not being respected, instead of having a good educational effect. If the situation is serious, it will also make the child's self-esteem is hurt, appear to be biased against the parents of the rebellious mentality. The parents want to compensate or save has been very difficult.
So, parents usually want to give children more respect, give them enough free space. Parental responsibility means respect and freedom. A responsible person must be a person with strong self-control, and why shouldn't a child be the same.
5. Occasionally, the child as a teacher
Confucius said: three people, there must be my teacher. Regardless of adults, children, only have superior to their own outstanding place, can be a teacher. Parents in the family education, occasionally you can treat the child as a teacher to learn from the child. Such as the child's innocent smile is from the heart, ask, nowadays work and life under pressure of adults, how many of you can do children such a bright smile? Children also have the ability to observe things quickly and have a good memory, these advantages in their body is always something you do not have. So don't think of it as a snub. If you're a good educator, you'll be able to get the most out of your time and money.
There is a Chinese idiom: to be a teacher. I looked up the information to find out what it means, "like to be someone else's teacher. Describes not being modest, self-righteous, love to pose as an old master, like to call oneself an educator." I always used to think of "being a teacher" as a negative term, but in homeschooling, if parents can let their children be "good teachers", it may have a good effect on education.
1, careful observation, the right medicine
The child rebellion, on the one hand, the child knows more and more things, the inner idea also began to increase. When the parents give the order is different from the child's inner thoughts, he will not listen to the parents. On the other hand, the parents did not notice the child's bad mood, found some problems directly yelling and scolding him, which led to the increase of his rebellious feelings, they will rebel against parents. Thus, in order to cure the child's disobedience, the first thing to do is to find the right root cause and prescribe the right medicine.
2, with other forms of alternative scolding
Although now is a civilized society, but in the education of children this matter, there are still parents pursuing the "stick under the filial son" concept. However, the short-lived effect of scolding can make the child to appear rebellious, so scolding is not the best way to educate the child.
For example, when a child is not listening to litter, you can choose to let the child help organize the housework, on the one hand, let the child understand that doing housework is very hard, can not destroy the health of the environment; on the other hand, you can let the child more y realize their own mistakes. When the child does not listen, use other forms instead of scolding, will play an unexpected effect.
3, make good use of rewards rather than punishment
When the child does not listen, do not write homework, parents can choose to use certain incentives to encourage the child to complete the homework, such as writing homework can be allowed to watch half an hour of cartoons, or play games for half an hour, so that he is also more motivated to complete the homework.
If your child is not able to complete his or her homework, he or she will be able to do so.
If parents only know how to yell at their children or threaten them with punishment, they will gradually lose interest in learning. Thus, for children, it is more effective for parents to make good use of rewards than to use punishments.
4, set the rules
The child is curious about the world, and even some of the "bold", but the child is not clear what to do, what is not to do, which requires the parents to set certain rules for the child. There are no rules, and the same applies to educating children. When the child clearly know what behavior is not to do, and understand the wrong thing is responsible for, this will reduce the child's misbehavior.
5. Control your emotions and listen to your child's ideas
When a child is not listening, parents need to understand why he is not listening, and need to respect his ideas. Often when things go wrong, the first reaction of parents is to blame and forget what is going on inside the child's head.
Parents, as adults, are much better at managing their emotions than children, but even so, they can still lose control of their emotions, not to mention their children, who are young at heart. Therefore, parents need to learn to respect and recognize their children's emotions, and take their feelings into account when rejecting their children's requests.