One
A while ago, Mr. Gurlangwa wrote a piece of "how we should make friends after 30 years old" y moved me. Before this I have always wanted to write a, "is not lonely choose us, but we choose the lonely", but because the title is too crepuscular has been put there did not write. In fact, loneliness has always been the eternal topic of life. The way to overcome loneliness in our teenage years is to make friends, read books, and self-enrichment. But the older you get, the more rational you become, you will gradually find a way to get along with loneliness. Self-reflection, on the contrary, is one of the fastest springboards to self-growth. Self-reflection, on the other hand, really requires getting away from the hustle and bustle for a while. When people become adults, their patterns of interaction change. Especially after thirty, there will be few friends who do not have interests in their friendships, and fewer and fewer chances to meet strangers without a purpose. This is not that people become snobbish, but in the process of your growth, work will inevitably seep into life. Those customer exchanges, resource matching, and even private gatherings will inevitably have a certain element of work and socialization. I often call on young people to keep some of their own hobbies, playing ball and drinking tea, swimming and fitness, hiking and cross-country, these things from the point of view of interest, sometimes may become a channel for you to make friends with strangers. Of course, everyone grows up in different states, but most of the paths will have similarities. We all go through discomfort, rejection, to being well-traveled, to being addicted but prone to self-loathing, and finally to a return.
Two
A guy and I were once talking and brought up his recent struggles. He said that he had been feeling very lonely, but he obviously had a lot of friends gathered around him, but he just felt that he could not find someone to talk to, felt that the three views are the same, and it is best to be able to give him guidance. I can understand that. Because there was a period of time I do marketing work, there is an endless number of appointments, meals, see endless Zhang and Li, endless jokes and yellow jokes, it seems as if there is endless chat, but every time I get on the car, I immediately quiet down, do not want to say a word. I don't feel that the toast and talk in that drinking game is myself, but I can't deny that it's me who is adapting to the laws of this society. The emptiness and loneliness exposed behind that hustle and bustle had made me go off the rails for a while. For example, I used to be so impatient and eager inside that I was completely unable to listen patiently. I was even particularly impatient for a period of time, seemingly efficient and thunderous, but in fact it was more about arrogance and unquenchable hostility. At that stage, I felt I had no way to talk to stupid people. I was always talking about efficiency in QQ and MSN. I hated small talk and thought it was boring. I met with one set of suppliers after another, thought I was full of air and asked, "I only have five minutes to listen to your report, remove all those fancy things, and just tell me what you think! During that time I was living with my sword drawn, my life on fire but very unhappy. I lulled myself into a false sense of fulfillment with busy tasks. I presented an absolute forcefulness when I answered the phone and felt incredibly tired when I put it down. My life was not going as well as I would have liked during that time, I didn't see complacency in the workplace, I just felt stressed out, and my love life was frequently disappointing because my patience was getting worse and worse. It was as if I was a time bomb ready to go off at any moment, and now that I think about it, that aura of aggression was really enough to drive everyone away. My emotional management almost dropped to negative during that time. I was so busy that I didn't have time to communicate with my friends, and all the communications with my relatives were just a few hurried conversations before I hung up. The deepest impression is that my cousin from my hometown has been asking me on QQ about compensation for land occupation in rural areas, and I showed him the relevant laws and regulations on Baidu, but he kept asking questions such as how much is the cost of occupying a fruit tree? How much does it cost to occupy a greenhouse? How much for the pigsty? The kind of annoying questions, let me break down in that moment. I almost always reply with full of malice that you only see me in the big city as if I am happy, but you have no idea how late I work overtime every day, and what a dog I am! You don't know anything about this kind of problem with acreage, and I don't know anything about it either, and it's not like I know everything just because I've read a few more years than you! I'm still working on a PPT for tomorrow's report, and that's all I can do to help you, so please take care of your own business! I still remember, my cousin stopped over there for more than ten minutes before slowly typing a sentence: Big brother, then I'll take a look at it myself, give you trouble. My cousin, the two of us played together from the age of four to adulthood, and every summer and winter vacation before high school were bored together. We stole eggs together, went down to the river to touch fish, he witnessed me go to college, I watched him get married and start a family. I've been playing together for so many years, but because of my own collapse, the string is broken here.
Three
We, in the end, grew into people they didn't recognize. If it's possible to hurt a bunch of people and lose a bunch of people as you grow up with your patterns of interaction, there's another kind of friend that's the result of natural attrition and elimination. It's like those former friends from high school groups, middle school groups, and even college groups. A while ago, a few girls in our college group who have become mothers talked about the matter of the second child, and one of them just happened to mention me, saying how I haven't seen me sunshine, I said, we both have our own plans, and my side of the biggest goal this year is to finish graduate school first.
Then several girls have instantly turned into your most hated aunts and aunts, and have been telling you that it's too late to stop! You can see that my family has already had two children! I also intend to have a third child blah blah blah ~ ~ to that year and my best relationship with the girl said the most energetic. But back then, she did not hate the kind of seven aunts and aunts to force people to find a partner to urge people to get married? I have to make it clear again, I think the life is up to the individual, it is their own thing, they live comfortably or not only know, right? I have my own plans and can be responsible for my own life. As a result, the girl is still unforgiving, and even moved out, to the old you will regret, I also this is concerned about you ah and many other God-like theory. I almost blurted out that, quickly join the square dance team to go! Not everyone must live the same as you to be life! In the end, I held back.
Four
Growing up is supposed to be a process of gradual loss. We will lose a group of friends because of the way we interact. We will lose a number of friends because we don't see eye to eye with each other, and we don't see eye to eye with each other in terms of what we're pursuing. Those who come in later may be our customers, partners, mentors, but may not be able to become friends. It's not that we don't trust anyone anymore, maybe it's because we trust ourselves more and more. The older you get, your need to rely on others diminishes. You become confident, assertive, and judgmental. You won't rely on anyone and want to be influenced as much as you might have before. You will also gradually realize that the thing about being friends is that sometimes it might be happier to just go with the flow. It is said that when you start to miss the old days, you are old. I don't like nostalgia, especially for those people I knew when I was young, and I feel sorry for missing them. I don't like to miss the time when I trusted others easily and felt that the time when I traveled a long way to meet an online friend without any interest in doing so is no longer here. Nowadays I prefer acceptance. Each age will have their own state of growth, impatience or not, eager to make quick profits, this is a journey in life, some people see open, also out, some people do not see open, perhaps a lifetime immersed in this can not be extricated. Dating, the ultimate reason is still attraction. If there is no attraction and wisdom in each other, it is meaningless to chew on the memories of the past. Stay curious about the unknown, stay sensitive to new things, and always remind yourself to try. Such a person will not lack of friends. Losses are all justified in their own way. Gained, must be extraordinarily gifted. Not love the youth, do not insist on Shaoguang, enjoy the loneliness, can quietly taste life