My cousin's wedding date is approaching, and like every bride-to-be, she is starting to enter a phase of both excitement and worry.
The excitement is that she can finally tie the knot with her boyfriend of 5 years and live together, the worry is that they say that marriage is the grave of love, she does not know what her future will be like?
Whether it is beautiful, or make do, whether it is to become each other's life on the road to tacit understanding of the partners, or under the same roof of the stranger, are unknown.
Especially in recent times, the frequent cheating storms in the entertainment industry, but also let her on the ? The first time I saw this, I had to go to the hospital to get a doctor's prescription. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Feeling clearly in love with the people together, why the last walk have become the most familiar strangers, not to mention the old age, over three years five years are rare.
The wedding scene of those who swore? I'm willing to? The first time I saw this, it was a very good time for me to go back to the office. I will always?
Those wedding scene promises are the loudest voice of the future slap face.
So my cousin asked me: Is there no such thing as a long marriage?
I said: Yes, you are not sure when you can go to the park around, go to the grocery store to buy food, go to the hospital lobby to sit, go to the subway or bus station near the stroll, more than two sideburns gray hair, dying of old age of the elderly couple to keep each other look.
That kind of marriage is ordinary and real long-term, only worthy of saying is a good marriage.
2
Cousin thought for a moment and then said pleasantly: Yes, her neighborhood there is such a pair of couples, each other are seventy years old, hair is white, but the feelings are surprisingly good.
Every day to hold together to go out to buy food, chatting, every dusk when the sun sets will also hold hands to go to the nearby park to walk, or look at other people dancing square dance.
Often see the old grandfather to the grandmother to stroke the hair, pampered pull her collar, called out: old lady, your hair is blown by the wind mess, also often hear the grandmother called out: dead old man, you are slower to walk the stairs ah?
The picture is very harmonious and cozy.
If the marriage can be like this, it will be enviable.
So the cousin said: in fact, I want this kind of marriage, like them to walk through the decades, companion for decades, a long time, do not need to meet at first sight, but will look at each other two do not get tired.
I wonder if they have mastered any secret sauce?
In fact, marriage for life, to go through the baptism of the years to go into a real old age, and during this period of time each person has their own story and situation, as Zhou Guoping said: part of the people to the marriage into a good on earth, part of the people to the marriage into a bad hell of a difference.
You should never think there is a shortcut to one step, or fantasize about what heaven will look like, much less a secret sauce that will work once and for all.
After all, marriage is different from love, all things need to be implemented into the real wood, rice, oil, salt, ginger, vinegar and tea, is a chicken feather embarrassment more than the romance of the wind and snow, is a cavity of passion retreat, slowly become a long-flowing companionship, is the hormone of the day to day stabilization, and the slow maturation of the mind.
It is a step by step operation of the heart and step by step mutual achievement, the more important point is to get along with not tired.
Only get along with not tired of two people will always go on, only because of each other's existence and feel the comfort and warmth of marriage, only to realize that the home is the source of happiness and docking harbor.
3
It has been said that the best state of men and women in marriage is like two trees standing side by side, with branches and trunks depending on each other, with roots entangled, with leaves and leaves holding each other, independent and not estranged, close and not dependent, is the kind of companion that can *** with the experience of sunshine and rain, and also the confidant that can enjoy the rain and dew alone in the morning and evening.
Have your own . Sky and land, but also each other.
There is no sense of urgency, not too suffocating life, not because of the occasional negligence of one of the parties to suffer, can not be their own.
Just like the milk tea girl Liu Ruoying in her book "I dare to be in your arms" explains her best way to get along with two people in a marriage like that: is that I have the confidence to be alone in your arms, and I am also happy to be alone in your arms.
You can have each other in the eyes of each other, but also know how to moderately independent self-space, definitely not like a vine silk entangled in each other, so that the marriage can not breathe.
They may go to the same movie theater, but go to different halls to see their favorite movies, may also go to the same airport, but does not prevent you from going to your Europe, I go to my U.S. look.
Because marriage is a long-lasting bonding, if you have to rely on one side to force a party to live into the mold they want, it will inevitably become the burden of the other side.
When the other side can not be as you want, will feel the labor of marriage, will feel aggrieved, will have a complaint. And what you should understand is this, all marriage in the combination of men and women, absolutely no one can conquer who to become themselves, but should be mutual achievement to appreciate out of that better us.
Shared with my cousin a quote from a father in Taiwan at her daughter's wedding speech: After marriage, it's not 1+1=2, but 0.5+0.5=1. After you get married, you each have to remove your general personalities before you can combine them to form a fulfilling family, not a possession, but a union.
And the most important point in the combination is: not tired of getting along, the heart is happy.
Two people living together, there will always be a variety of contradictions and conflicts, there will be a lot of uncomfortable and incompatible, because of this, we have to spend more effort in the management of the marriage, to understand each other, to tolerate each other, to explore each other's good, to achieve each other, and ultimately achieve their own achievements, the achievement of a good marriage.
Is one day sitting in a rocking chair slowly aging, cherry blossoms fell on the ground of mutual love and appreciation, is a day in the summer evening wind, you call me over, but I am looking at you in detail beautiful, is to see all the vicissitudes of the world, still do not leave each other, is because of you to make the life plentiful.
It is marriage for life, I can still be me, you can still be you, but then become the best of us.