I know from my husband's mouth some of the shortcomings of the neighbors, once because the neighbors borrowed money did not pay me back in time, I'm a little angry, and then angry with the neighbors accidentally said that her bad words, the beginning of our get along is very good, the speaker is not interested in listening to intentionally, and then the neighbors are angry, all kinds of rumors in the village to spread me. At first I didn't care, thinking it was fine, and our family doesn't like to cause trouble. But then things got big, she said for a long time, others actually believe it, and now the village people say I'm not right, all kinds of gossip, I'm dying of boredom, one side feel that they say is not right, want to go to apologize, but feel ashamed, one side of the husband's relatives also do not back me up. Just feel dislike but people do not dare, I feel so suffocated, people have something are justified dare to come out to say, our family is how it is, do not want to care, the more so the more people are justified, want to say how to say. I'm sick of it. I feel like I'm a good loser, and I don't want to go out of the door.
In fact, before the age of twenty-five, many people are like this, I am one of them, and I work a piece of a colleague is also like that. All in the workshop work or rest time, have a laugh, eyebrows fluttering, good than the pro-brother pro, under the shift each back to their homes, to him to send a message, no matter how many you send, to him on the phone, no matter how many hit, never back to you. These people deal with problems more selfish, always stand in their own point of view to see the problem, more emotional, too emotional, lack of reason. If you have social barriers, you can first communicate with your most trusted friends, brothers, parents to exchange their own problems, share their own insights, over time you will understand the meaning of communication, interaction, sharing on a person, you will go to hear other people's different perspectives, different ways, a more comprehensive and interesting cognition, and then you will become proactive. Then your heart will become more and more joyful, stable, and your vision will be much bigger. I hope you are getting better and better. ......
I'm the same way. It used to be that I thought it was a good idea to spend more money on friends for dinner and drinks, but then I realized it wasn't that. What's there to make in a drinking friend. Relatives are just a big deal. People are all engaged in the count can, is to help borrow a couple of million, are not knot,, such relatives go what, there is no meaning. My family as long as these relatives an open mouth are as far as possible to help. Now I'm almost thirty, this decade I see a lot, also see a lot. As long as you work hard, you will have everything. I am now better off than some of my relatives. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm going to be able to do it.
I don't love and my husband's family to interact, is to think that they have a part of the people three viewpoints are not correct, I hate the three viewpoints are not correct, but I have a few friends, especially the cast, but I like the sense of boundaries, my friends are not very rich people, but are able to self-reliance, they are not vanity, I have no money exchanges with my friends, the gentleman's friendship is as light as water, I like to raise flowers, like to do handicrafts. I think I am normal, not normal is my husband and his family of those three views of the wrong relatives.
Yes! I used to have a neighbor like that! He was a bachelor, lived in a two-room house, and didn't go out of the house when he got home except to go to work in the production team every day. He did not talk to people when he was working, and his family did not go to a guest for a year, and his nephews, brothers and sisters did not come to each other. Later, he had a mental illness, hair and dirt, tattered clothes, looking for food everywhere in the garbage, and then disappeared, and no one to look for him, I think it is dead.
Before I got married, I had friends and family! Relatives turn, friends gather, after marriage in order to their own heavy mortgage, children's schooling, almost I am two a line, unit to home, home to the unit, because of economic pressures, almost not and friends get-together, because friends please, their own can not not not courtesy of it! Friends and family walk around very little! I'm not sure if there are many cases like me, but I'm not sure if there are many cases like me!
Answer; these can be divided into situations to explain.
First; not and relatives to this case, first of all, identity and family problems, their families are poorer, economic constraints, feel very inferior, embarrassed and relatives to come, there is a good saying; poor in the body in the absence of distant relatives.
Second; and relatives have economic and debt exchanges, when and relatives after the inevitable mention of these issues will hurt feelings, or turn the other cheek, simply do not come to each other.
Third; no friends this is not surprising, the character of the introverted do not like to talk, or social phobia , and the outside world of the people in contact with the less afraid to say the wrong thing, very concerned about the views of others on their own, will make their own lack of friends.
Fourth; one has suffered from certain events, suffered blows and injuries, resulting in suspicion and distrust of the outside world, questioning the people around them.
Fifth; there is no hobby this many times out of work busy, do not have time to develop and cultivate their own hobbies, or personality bias home, live very spontaneous, casual, laziness character, do not love to cultivate hobbies.
These kinds of psychology are relatively normal, do not need to overreact, but if it affects their normal life, or need to make some changes.
This is not an isolated case, I have a neighbor, hour is more withdrawn, walking fast, close to the building to go, not outside and small friends play, big after the downstairs, not looking for a job, not with the world to contact, at home every day, two dishes, ton of half a catty of wine, decades as one day,, the quick to talk about the wine, the cold-eyed smile proud of the world,,,
withdrawn character In fact, this kind of character in the eyes of others is a different kind of people, but since the heart only want to be alone, away from the matter of right and wrong, to seek a piece of pure land for themselves. It's not a bad idea to have a quiet mind.
Your behavior is not a problem, is that you have a problem with this idea: if you like to be alone and enjoy yourself, then you are a strong heart, the ability to be very strong, this is a realm, the average person can not reach and can not reach; but if you are out of low self-esteem, timid, do not dare to socialize with other people, and is not a big deal of the mental illness, may be related to the family relationship or the environment of the growing up, then the Need to correct the mentality, take the initiative, on the right occasion to give others some help as much as possible, through the affirmation of others to improve self-confidence. On the other hand, we also need to strengthen their own cultivation, standardize their own behavior, improve the cognitive realm, to create more capital to interact with others, try to put it into action, open heart, treat each other with sincerity, friends come.