Marriage needs to be how to operate
A German sociologist L. Muller has categorized the motivation for marriage into three, both economic, children and feelings. Nowadays, most Chinese women tend to ignore the most important point after marriage. Neglecting it creates a misunderstanding of marriage. They may be good mothers and daughters-in-law, but they are not praised by their husbands. When faced with the neglect of their wives, their husbands protest. Hearing their husbands' protests they also tease their husbands in disbelief, which is really a child's temper and child's jealousy. This is to give an example of a specific illustration:
Marriage case: one of my students, once also derailed her husband's marriage failure, blamed on the bland life. Thinking it was like dealing with professional boredom, her husband was looking for a third party to spice up his life in the day-to-day humdrum. She simply thought that adding some freshness to the married life will be able to get her husband back to live again. What she got was no surprise, she failed. Husband even after learning that she knew, simply put words of divorce. The student is also angry and regret, full of grievances a brain spit out. She respected her in-laws, usually more care for them, like parents like treatment. But the in-laws in the knowledge of this matter, in addition to scolding the son and no other. Husband's friends, love to come to her home for dinner she also half a word no enthusiasm to entertain, the results know that her husband cheated on her without a person and she hinted at it. The most angry or husband, directly said the child custody to him. The first time I saw this, I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling.
Case Analysis:
1, the internal cause of introspection
After the student's emotions calmed down, I analyzed one by one: for the in-laws, your respect is indeed will let them in the face of your responsible for the contradiction is slightly biased in your favor. However, the son has grown up, they are no longer able to make decisions for their son. For the child, you are responsible for bringing her your husband is responsible for playing with her, even if divorced he is not still able to play with the child? To go overboard, if you can grow crops in this field, so can other fields. For friends, isn't it normal for friends to cover for each other between men? Even your previous hospitality was done with their friend's wife. For friends and friends' wives who do you think they would choose? It's normal for them not to tell you. Your husband is wrong for cheating in marriage and you are wrong for misperceiving who you are. It is the husband and wife relationship that maintains the marriage relationship. Next, it is the children's relationship mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. Marriage, is a sociological term. It has many complex and important relationships. And women, especially when they become mothers, tend to prioritize their children and neglect their relationships. Men long at home do not get the attention of his wife, a return home in addition to the woman to share the minutiae of life and parents is to bring children. The feelings between husband and wife, more and more thin, the status of the home may not be compared to the small pet you have. At this time, the emergence of a seemingly wholeheartedly involved in his body, to bring him back to life energy of the woman. The latter, there is no need to say more.
2, the wrong cognition
And your salvation is built on the wrong cognition and how to succeed? The treatment of the symptoms does not cure the root cause. Please think about when you are old, the evening with you to the square square dance is the side of the old man; night to warm your nest with you to chase the drama is also the side of the old man. A family, only the husband and wife relationship is handled well, the home is warm, in order to give the child a better atmosphere for growth. Your salvation if you can not even find the reason, how can you succeed? Re-recognize the marriage, find the misunderstandings of the marriage, and find out the root cause of the man leaving you. The only way to know each other is not to suspect each other; not to suspect each other is to know each other for a long time. The secret of salvage, in the end, still lies in your own. If you just for a purpose, rather than recognizing the error want to get back to him, so the salvation will eventually repeat the same mistake. Realize the misunderstanding, with a sincere mind to start again, this is the beginning of salvation.
What is needed to run a good marriage
First, couples should have **** the same hobbies, even if not before marriage, to be married to cultivate out, only because **** the same hobbies will cultivate **** the same language until the couple's outlook on the same, a lot of couples are not **** the same hobbies, no matter whether they speak or do things have no tacit understanding, and all the time to make a contradiction, the marriage will naturally be stormy. The marriage will naturally be stormy.
Second, couples should not be catty, marriage means a family, a veritable interest *** with the body, couples should *** into and out of, if couples all day and night catty who pay more or who pay less, and even a party will complain about not paying, and this will lead to all kinds of families have no peace, after all, families have a difficult to read the scripture, the only way couples can work together for the reading is possible to read more and more good, and vice versa. The more you read, the better, on the contrary, there is no most difficult to read the scripture, only more difficult to read the scripture, divorce is a selective escape.
Third, whether friendship, affection or love need to be based on loyalty, if there is no loyalty, the so-called friendship, affection, love is not false, especially marriage, if both sides betrayed each other, or one side betrayed the other, will lead to no sense of trust to speak of, even if there is a forgiveness of the probability of small and small, after all, there is a time to be unfaithful, a hundred times not to use the words, couples strive to betrayal! The first thing you need to do is to get rid of it.
Fourth, the man and the woman are married, since then, the two sides did not suspect each other's qualifications, only because the suspicion will shake the cornerstone of the marriage, many couples are divorced, it is because of the catching wind, the results did not find the real evidence, in turn, it will hurt the relationship between husband and wife, a person who will not trust others, will never be trusted by others, and what kind of payback there will be. The first thing that you need to do is to get a good deal of money from your family and friends, and then you can get a good deal of money from them.
Fifth, couples should be built on the basis of equality, both sides to give each other respect, whether it is a big deal or a little love is so, if there is no respect between husband and wife to speak of, although the marriage has not come to an end, but it seems to be like the end of the road, a lot of couples think that they are the old man and wife, to speak or to do more and more casually, and in the long run will harm the marriage in the form of invisible.
Six, couples need to keep their mouths shut when they go out, even if the outsiders set their own words should not be mentioned, after all, things at home to tell outsiders there will be a corresponding risk, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing is so, a good thing will be cynical, a bad thing will be laughed at, all in all, run a marriage to firmly believe that the silence is the gold reasoning.
Happy marriage to operate
1, whether it is a couple or husband and wife, the feelings between the two are mutual. Women sometimes especially love to ask for, married husband salary are given to you, but also asked her husband to pay money to accompany you on various holidays, to buy you gifts to send surprises, that will be somewhat unreasonable. Sometimes we have to think back, we pay for each other how much? We need to care and pampering, the same each other is also need these emotional needs, so the feelings are mutual, do not think of asking for, but also to give their loved ones more care.
2, give each other enough space. Many marriages are subjected to a variety of constraints to the rupture: colleagues get together time shall not exceed the points home, friends shopping together with a phone call urging to go home, and even eat with colleagues of the opposite sex to manage ......, this is not love, not even counted as a fool's love, this is the manifestation of selfishness. Can give both sides more of their own space, women can shop, buy things, men can eat and drink with friends, rubbing mahjong ......, so that the two people will not be because of some trivial and petty quarrels, resulting in damage to the relationship. Some people's feelings are suitable for two people together, some people's feelings can not be two people to meet, a meeting on the quarrel, in this case, we must give each other more space, a good adjustment of emotions, both sides can also reflect on it.
3, to have tolerance. Married life quarrels are inevitable, and this quarrel is mostly "public reasoning, the mother-in-law said that the mother-in-law has a reason", say more can not solve the problem. Married two people before the family of origin of the living environment and way of life are different, since we can be married, each pay more love, mutual tolerance, mutual responsibility, time will wear down the two people's angles, this is the marriage needs to adapt to the process.
4, enhance their attractiveness. There is a saying that goes like this: two people would have walked at the same time, but when he has gone to the 10th floor, you just walked to the second floor, then he saw a better view, but also willing to return to the second floor to see seen that bit of scenery? So don't stop learning in marriage, always enrich yourself, at least they should be able to look at themselves, to focus on improving their ability to make people always look new. Happy marriage depends on two people *** with the operation, couples in the day-to-day emotional life, before the shortcomings that want to cover up will be exposed one by one, marriage and love is not the same, marriage needs a variety of feelings to maintain. I also hope that everyone in the marriage more mutual tolerance, give each other more space, and constantly improve themselves, to create their own surprise, but also to Ta a surprise ...
Avoid the impact of the five major factors of the marriage relationship
1, communication: the lack of effective communication is the number one killer of the marital relationship
Couples should be maintained daily communication, you can communicate through language, expression and body movements. Even if one of the parties does not want to talk, it is still necessary to maintain the necessary conversation. Turn off your cell phone and TV when having an important conversation with your spouse. Talking to your spouse with your eyes glued to your favorite soap opera will only make it unpleasant for both parties. If a couple is going to fight when they open their mouths, talk about things in a public place where at least the two of them won't bicker anymore. To be a good listener, do not interrupt each other to speak, and when you realize that you have done something wrong, it is very important to say "sorry".
2, trust: mutual trust in the marriage relationship is very important
Trust will not be established overnight, it takes time to cultivate, and couples can try some practices. For example, do what you say; do not tell lies, honesty is the key to gaining the trust of others; mutual respect, especially to respect the views of the spouse. To cherish the maintenance of other people's trust in their own, because the trust of others is difficult to lose and regain.
3, money: partners to fight for money is not very honorable, but this is always happening
After marriage or talk about marriage, the two sides should find an opportunity to sit down and talk about their respective property and consumerism. If one partner is frugal and the other is a spendthrift, soon the two will clash. Both sides should talk about their savings, debts, goals, try to reach **** the same opinion on and consumption.
4, jealousy: the spouse's ex-partner is the most important reason for the emergence of jealousy
Other reasons include worrying that they will be abandoned by their spouse, or have been cheated by their spouse. Trust issues can also lead to jealousy. It is important to speak to your spouse once jealousy has arisen. Tell how you feel and see if you can find a solution. If one partner has been hurt in the past, he or she should learn to trust their spouse and not let negative experiences affect the marriage relationship.
5. Couple's life: Love for each other does not mean that the couple's life between partners will be perfect
The two parties may have different views on contraceptive methods, or one partner has more couple's needs than the other. It could also be that the partner wants a form of conjugal love that the other partner can't accept and so on. Whatever the scenario may be, couple life is a major contributor to marital problems and can even lead to divorce. Therefore, if there is a problem with the couple's life between spouses, it is important to tell the other side, but must take into account the other side's self-esteem, to speak politely, but must be their own in the couple's life on the worry about clear, and put forward mutually acceptable suggestions.