Looking at Zhang Yuan's back as he left, watermelon was so angry that his eyes were glazed over.
Beijing at the end of May is already as hot as a steamed bun, and the weather station has just issued a red alert for high temperatures in the city's weather station, which is expected to reach more than 40 degrees in a few moments.
He just walked away without looking back. Only threw down a hard sentence: "You go by yourself, I'm going back." Watermelon does not speak straight staring at him, the subtext is obvious: "You go try." But he still left, and before he left, he also stared at watermelon for several seconds, a face so cold that he could not see the expression.
Being ignored and abandoned watermelon at the moment hate to learn the soap opera in the sad female number two, pulling the passer-by crying and pointing at the back of the negative male cursing: "you see, you see, how can there be such a person?
But in the end she did not do anything, sucked in the fast flowing snot, held back the aggrieved little tears, pinched the parasol betting on the company from another road, and in the meantime took out her cell phone to call Dou Xi Xi.
"Don't talk to me again if you ever pick up on him again."
Dou Xi Xi put down harsh words. Watermelon sitting in the shadows under the ball racks of the basketball court in front of the company building, a box of paper towels that she had just bought by her side, used small paper balls have been piled up into a small mountain, she has cried into a put bad watermelon face.
"But ...... You say how I am so unlucky! Not just come out to actualize a practice, and was cheated money and cheated feelings!"
2
Speaking of being cheated of money, that day watermelon's mother gave watermelon card to play a thousand dollars, said "almost birthday, to buy yourself a set of decent clothes, are out of the internship don't all day still wear with a kid like." But for the average family in this small county, this is not a throw like mud small money, watermelon is touched by the joy.
The next day the watermelon will be happy to stroll from Dongsi North Street to Xinjiekou North Street, where the results were dragged into the hair salon, even with the coaxing and cheating spent six hundred yang, and even the corner of the new clothes are not fishing, the money first hit the water.
At first, I felt that the sweaty fat boy hard, as to help him fulfill a target well anyway, I will not be fooled. Later, I thought that the hairdresser who looked like Harlem seemed to really find each other eye-catching, so I thought it would be a good idea to change my hairstyle and buy clothes to change my image anyway.
So when Watermelon came out of the hair salon on the second basement level with a haircut that cost six hundred dollars and was virtually unchanged, she was still jubilant.
Outside, she saw Winker, the hairdresser who had just escorted her out the door with a smile and a smile, claiming to have done the hair of many celebrities, leaning against the roadside security fence with his cigarette in his mouth, laughing and joking with a couple of unruly hip-hop boys. She had a vague feeling that something was wrong, but her mind actually wondered if she should say hello.
It wasn't until Baidu's "Stylist Winker" and "XXX Hair Salon" that she began to feel uneasy, flipping through the search results, which were all "This is a scammer's den! " "I spent thousands of dollars on a membership, and then I don't care!" "Perm hair straightened in three days!" The netizen's comment.
At that time, watermelon was sitting in a Sichuan restaurant eating chives fried egg rice, ready to eat to go to the next shopping site, suddenly all of a sudden confused. Nose can not stop souring, think of what mom said when she called money watermelon hard, she mixed tears into the rice, salty sticky leeks to the mouth also feel the taste.
The streets of Beijing are dim after the rain, and the incandescent lamps in the Sichuan restaurant are very bright, but there is no temperature. A large plate of rice is still smoking, watermelon has no appetite, before it is not noticeable, she hurriedly lowered her head to pay the money to escape.
Finally, the watermelon or to the black hearted scammer sent more than a dozen pathetic tearful short message, mixed with righteous words, the scammer finally conscience, or annoyed, or have some scruples, promised to return the watermelon three hundred dollars.
After taking the money on the way out, the watermelon raised slightly red eyes looked at the liar, "You have not said happy birthday to me."
3
"You still have the nerve to mention this," Dou Xi Xi's tone is full of hate, "really stupid to no friends!"
But really, Doxie knows that this is what watermelons are all about, often believing without reservation, believing what people say, believing in people who seem friendly, even if they are hypocritical. She is not ignorant, just pure, think of personnel better than reality is the chicken blood of her life, otherwise the world where there is still let people want to go into the meaning of the world. And watermelon also know that Dou Xi Xi is for her good, "pure conscience" in this world means more than "stupid" still stupid, she knows wrong, she is so tired.
That night, watermelon in the chapter far home on the road to wait for almost an hour.
"I'll wait for you at Exit A."
After sending the text message, watermelon quietly lay on the roadside railing watching the traffic come and go. She came to the huge Beijing alone, looking for their own rental, looking for their own internships, their own solution to the pots and pans and three meals a day, snail in a small house less than ten square meters, the day is hot in the house is like in the sauna, she often woke up from the heat of the dream. She is just a nineteen year old girl, and even though her day job is full of fulfillment and satisfaction, she feels scared and lonely when she comes home in the dark.
And now, she is a little disheartened, looking at each person walking on the street, thinking whether all people will each have their own agenda and intentions, whether all the goodwill and sincerity should be frozen and then locked up in a museum, so that people come to the consciousness of the worship, but do not need to perform their functions, and calculating and defensive is the driver's license of the society.
She stood there alone, with the headlights hitting her face. She was like Buzz Lightyear, who had stumbled into human society by accident, recognizing the program settings that had been set up long ago, but not seeing the upside-down black and white of the world.
Zhang Yuan walked out of the subway station and stood beside the watermelon, she was still in a daze. He rested his arm on the railing, also looking at the road, did not call her. The two people just like this quietly stood for a while, traffic lights flashing flickering, vehicles endless stream, night return to the people in a hurry, vendors hanging a dim light, all kinds of snacks light smoke curls, the smell lingers. Watermelon suddenly turned around and hugged him tightly.
Zhang Yuan reached out and wrapped his arms around the watermelon, his head down gently said, "What's wrong?"
Her tears almost fell. She clung to this person's embrace, like a shipwrecked person floating on the sea for days finally stranded on the warm, soft sand, the sunlight dried her clothes, becoming warmer inch by inch, with the salty smell of seawater that gradually drifted away.
Just want to stay like this without having to leave.
Zhang Yuan is still carrying a heavy camera bag, a big weekend plus a full day of work. He pinched the face of watermelon and asked if she wanted a cone.
Watermelon does not like eating cones, but she knows Zhang Yuan likes to eat. Every time he was with himself, he wanted to eat sweets, said it was because he felt relaxed, boys, alone when embarrassed to buy. At that time, she was willing to become that opportunity and excuse for him to eat sweets, he held her hand and walked through the traffic lights to the opposite side of the street to McDonald's to buy two matcha-flavored cones, handing her one, the night is a little bit cool, the cones ate in the mouth of frozen watermelon a shiver.
"Better?" Zhang Yuan asked.
The cone doesn't actually make Watermelon happy, but she nods anyway. Halfway across the road, Watermelon reaches over and lets Zhang Yuan take a bite of her cone, and after taking another bite herself, she pouts that she doesn't want it. Then watched as he ate the rest.
Just like the last time in a Shu noodle restaurant, watermelon to a bowl full of soup noodles yelled eat, and then jokingly asked Zhang Yuan will eat their leftovers, accidentally Zhang Yuan did not even think about it and said, "Yes ah, you eat first."
So the watermelon happily ate half of the said full, smiling and looking at the chapter far to the end of the bowl to eat the rest. Thinking about it later, I don't know whether he did it because of her, or but because he hated waste.
She always liked to look for traces that he was fond of her from these details, because he never took the initiative to say it.
That night they stayed on the side of the road for a long time, and Zhang Yuan laughed and said that the owner of the flower stalls on the side of the road was going to be annoyed with the two of them. Watermelon looked at those flowers and laughed and said yeah, then was silent.
"Just don't buy them." He swirls his tone like a mischievous child. Watermelon smiles and doesn't say anything, and doesn't want to ask why.
She never did and couldn't expect more, could she.
"I'd like to do an early separation." Watermelon paused, "Do you want me to leave early?" She doesn't bring expectations yet she still can't help it.
Zhang Yuan held her hand with a little more force after a while.
"No," he looked at her and shook his head decisively, "don't want to."
4
Watermelon took an early exit anyway.
She didn't want to dwell on it. I'd like to be a little more decisive, as Duchess said, a fruitless relationship, what's there to hold on to. What's more, they just fell out, she does not have to stay in a company that does not need her much because of someone who does not care about her.
Since that music program stopped working together, Watermelon has become a rare idler in the bitter TV and media industry, brushing up on her microblogging and checking the news every day, consuming her time in the indefinite wait for new assignments to arrive.
She deleted his WeChat and QQ a couple of times, and then finally had to add them back again through gritted teeth.
The days before the departure, watermelon days to work like soy sauce, and Zhang Yuan every day over the watermelon and their departments, but never greeted her, even if she stood across the street about Mr. Hao to go to the non-smoking area "meeting". He is on purpose?
Watermelon hate itchy teeth, but had to look at the computer buried in the head, can not raise his eyes, but also fussed with the keyboard, clicking the mouse, the window is open and closed, pulling the microblogging, but a did not see clearly.
Before the breakup, he often strung out like this, and after finding all the regular employees in the department, he would run to talk to her - how much he cared about other people's opinions, but just didn't want to be told that he was hooking up with the interns.
At the time, Watermelon was still working alone at a long table across the hall, surrounded by interns, so he could talk to her like no one else was watching, and even sneak in the occasional scrape of her face when everyone wasn't looking without attracting the attention of the older employees across the hall.
Watermelon understands her caution, and knows that even if it breaks down he's just being generous in admitting it. Because he does not have to pretend in front of her, who let her like him.
Yes, at that time he was the center of her storm, so that she could not feel at ease to stay in this company with him, unable to devote herself to work, as long as her radar detected his presence, even ten meters away from the step of a hurriedly flashed corner of the coat, are enough to cause watermelon around a small bout of electrical disturbances.
She tried to remember what the days were like before she fell for Zhang Yuan.
5
When Watermelon first came to Beijing, she woke up every morning with a nosebleed because the air was so dry. The sky in the imperial capital is often gray, but the occasional blue sky is the beauty of the south can not be seen, vast and clear, so blue that you can squeeze out the juice.
At that time or in February, the river is still frozen an inch thick ice, watermelon from the footbridge down, staring at the river for five minutes, the mood is so good that it is going to blow up. This is the first time this authentic southern girl saw the northern frozen river with her own eyes.
She also remembers the first day she reported to the company where she was interning, it had just rained, and she walked into the company with her hair scattered just touching her shoulders, wearing a very mature orange tweed coat but carrying a childish Korean version of the student's backpack in an unorthodox way. The cold wind in the north froze her mouth, and there were two pretty girls at the reception desk, one of whom asked her in a lazy Beijing accent who she was meeting, and she stuttered several times before her words came out.
"It's so hard to speak!" Front desk girl did not hide her impatience, watermelon heart sank, out of the division, is considered to have seen the bluntness of the Beijing girl, the aura instantly crumbled into crumbs.
Everything is not as smooth and beautiful as imagined, narrow and depressing rental, dusty streets, crowded subway, chaotic traffic lights, sweet snacks ......
But the freshness beat all the discomfort, so watermelon every weekend in the city of Beijing to go around. She almost went to all the resounding attractions in Beijing, visited her old classmates, and went to Peking University to listen to lectures and Nanluoguxiang to see plays.
She went for a run at the Temple of Earth every morning, and couldn't help but smile at the old people dancing; she raised two pots of hanging orchids, named them, and watered them every day in anticipation of their blossoming as the weather got warmer; and she even bought a pen, ink, paper, and inkstone, with the intention of copying the Heart Sutra every day.
This is not the life of a normal post-nineties girl, no wonder people often laugh at her for being so old-fashioned. Watermelon laughed and told Dou Xi Xi that she really looks like old age to come, but she knows that she is just trying to become richer. If the fish dives deep enough, the waves will only turn into a few ripples.
Beijing is a bustling city, but she has her own rhythm.
But all this was broken on April Fool's Day.
6
April Fools' Day.
Some people screwed and some people were screwed, some people hilarious and some people watched, some people mourned Leslie Cheung and some people didn't understand the rejection.
And watermelon just go to work as usual, and then conceptualize a new entertainment video content.
On Twitter she saw a quote:
"In my world for you, there is never April Fools' Day."
Inexplicably moved, she decided to make a video about April Fool's Day, landing on this quote.
The video ended up being a non-starter because after a morning of searching, only the boy in the department named Zhang Yuan was willing to appear. He did a surprisingly good job, fitting her script perfectly. Some of her coworkers, who are usually so unruly in their chatting, were so reserved that they shrugged it off, and the video went to waste.
Watermelon felt sorry for herself and a little frustrated.
She opened QQ, just to find someone to talk to, and saw the avatar of Zhang Yuan.
"In a bad mood."
"What's wrong?"
"Let's go for a drink after work?"
"Sure!"
Watermelon didn't know why she was so trusting of someone she'd just met, and probably really just wanted a drink. When she was in school, she used to sit around the big lawn in front of the H building with her group of friends, Dou Xi Xi, with a bottle of beer in each hand, and talk all night long in the cool evening breeze of Shanghai.
From the poetry and songs to the philosophy of life, from the less than passable GPA to their own relationship stories. The next few couples are often countless, in the darkness of the night, as if no one else is in love, and become the watermelon their talk to amusement.
She likes that feeling, they are not worldly children, will not bureaucratic style, will not play the feelings, love and righteousness, no ambition, will not give up on themselves. They are ordinary and clean.
7
Cinderella before attending the ball did not know that will be favored by the prince; is playing cards to win the ticket to let Jack met Rose; if not round the fountain, has been to the left of her and has been to the right of him will never meet. These people end up bravely falling in love, but she and he never will. The similarity is just that the so-called fate is such an unpredictable opportunity.
And who could have thought in advance that this night is the turning point of the story of watermelon and Zhang Yuan.
In fact, the watermelon just came to the department of the first week did not see the chapter far this person, only to hear colleagues flirtation called him "small far", said he took leave to participate in the wedding of the former roommate.
And the first time I saw him the impression is not deep, only remember when the group together, this wear glasses student air boy seems quite good, talk round, but when looking at people is always quiet, as if behind the lenses of the glasses hidden a cold beast, there is a kind of want to see into the bones of the people to go to the feeling.
"Is this the new intern?" Zhang Yuan asked in the work group.
Watermelon sees it and politely introduces himself.
This is considered getting acquainted.
To be honest, watermelon's drinking capacity is not even average, is positively poor, the so-called three cups will be drunk, or beer. If it is not that strange sense of trust, she probably how will not go to drink with a strange man who just met not long ago on a big night.
Sure enough, before the third round, she was already dizzy.
The girl wanted him to stay with her in Shanghai, where his parents have a house, but his family in Dalian, and is an only child, want to stay in the city closer to their parents to facilitate care. That's how the girl proposed to break up, and a year later came the news of the wedding, the groom is naturally not him. Watermelon silent for a long time, frowning.
"You must be very sad."
"At first, yes, and then it got better." He didn't have much of an expression, but said it with downcast eyes without looking at her.
Four years of feelings, where is it possible to say forget. Watermelon a little heartbroken in front of this boy.
Because of the way, from the restaurant out Zhang Yuan decided to send watermelon home first. And watermelon step foot movement is already drifting, Zhang Yuan laughed loudly, watermelon himself also laughed. This smile, the relationship seems to be much more cordial than in the restaurant again.
They walked from Wudaoying, talking all the way, and watermelon was happy from the bottom of her heart, laughing all the time, and she thought Zhang Yuan was very storytelling and funny. Suddenly he stopped in front of a dessert store, "Want some double skin milk?"
"No--"
"Have one, I want one." Zhang Yuan pretended to look pitifully at Watermelon, who thought it was a well-intentioned lie and agreed with a smile. Thinking about it now, it might have actually been him who wanted to eat it at that point.
They came out of the dessert store, there are a few steps in front of the door, watermelon drunkenness is not yet gone, wobbly actually almost fell. "Hey be careful!" Zhang Yuan shouted and laughed so hard that he couldn't straighten up and almost spewed out his bisquick, "Looks like he's really drunk!" Watermelon was practically blushing with shame, just like this bear still crying for alcohol. But what she didn't know was that it was because of this moment that the boy behind her had developed subtle, unspeakable feelings for her. This is what he told her later.
They continued walking, out of Wudaoying onto the Second Ring Road, where the streets were much wider, the traffic was heavy, and the bright streetlights spilled dapples through the branches and leaves. "I haven't eaten dessert in a long time," Zhang Yuan threw away the box and clapped his hands, "It's been about a year or so, and I'm too embarrassed to buy it when I'm alone." This is surprisingly a little happy to hear watermelon.
Zhang Yuan delivered the watermelon to the door of the neighborhood, and the watermelon tried to smile brightly, thanked him, and then turned around to go home. She was already leaping like a bird, her previous little emotions had long since dissipated, and she had almost forgotten why she had thought of drinking in the first place.
8
After that day, watermelon and Zhang Yuan became much closer. When no one was around, she called him her brother, because he was almost six years older, had been working for four years, and he knew too much that she didn't know. She is still open to the society with the heart of a child, each encounter will leave her a different color, a brush in her original pure white resume, filled with knowledge about "society.
At that time, they were still in a department, and every Saturday night they would go to the CCTV building to do the live program together, and Zhang Yuan was considered a direct instructor of the watermelon, and often pushed her to "hand in her homework". They are late from work, and the two rented houses are on the Second Ring Road, only one stop away, so they often go home together.
"What to do? It's like I'm suffering from 'chapter far dependence'." She looked further down the road and suddenly said.
He froze for a moment, his hand pushing the bike paused, then smiled again, "What do you mean by 'Zhang Yuan dependency'?"
"It's just, always wanting to talk to you, wanting to see you." She turned her head to look at him, her eyes clear and unapologetic.
He was surprised at her directness, working for so long, the girls around him have long since evolved into women, learned how to play ambiguous, in and out, to the point, too long has not encountered such a silky girl again.
"What to do, I want to quit." She said seriously.
"Why quit, it's fine." He looked careless, as if he had no idea of the implications of this syndrome in the guise of dependency.
"Just quit." Watermelon was insistent, really just talking to himself.
Saying it to yourself doesn't help. Good and bad pros and cons are clear, but still can not pull the reins. The contact more, began to have coworkers joked that the two look like a couple, watermelon laughed and said how it is possible.
The small house rented by the watermelon has a small balcony of less than two square meters, used as a kitchen. From the north window of the balcony, you can look out onto the Second Ring Road where the traffic is heavy. For several nights afterward, she stood motionless by the window, staring at the flowing light and shadows. She told Doxie all about her uneasiness.
"Maybe it's just that being alone in a strange city is too lonely, so when someone like a big brother comes to be nice to you, it creates a similar feeling of liking?" Watermelon accepts this statement from Doxie, but acceptance doesn't seem to calm that uneasy nagging feeling for her either.
9
They're still together a lot.
Zhang Yuan likes to smoke, and in fact almost everyone in this company is addicted to smoking because of the stress of working day and night.
That day, the watermelon did not know what to draw the wind, suddenly wanted to go to the Forbidden City to fly a kite, think about it or called on the chapter far. The sun is very strong, the cicadas are up, they are from the Bell and Drum Tower along the central axis of the hard hiking two hours to the Palace, buy a good ticket to go in, the two people went straight to the left side of the temple in front of the cool gable side of the buttocks to sit down, leaning back the neck and pouring the mineral water.
To breath even down, looked up and saw the entire noon gate to the Hall of Supreme Harmony square under their noses, tourists bustling, after entering the door are straight to the Hall of Supreme Harmony to go, few people like them to covet this seat shade, silly sitting still.
The sky is really blue, with an occasional hint of light clouds, pigeons circling above the sparkling glaze, and cicadas chirping vaguely in the distance, full of early summer infiltration in the surroundings.
"Ya! Forgot to buy a kite!" Watermelon just remembered this serious matter.
Zhang Yuan slanted a glance at her, as if he had expected this. It seems that he is tired, he seldom speaks, and watermelon does not know what to say, they mostly just sit in silence.
Until the loudspeaker sounded, "Dear visitors, the Beijing Palace Museum will be closed in half an hour, please orderly out of the museum", they both slowly got up and walked along the straight line. High walls and deep courtyard, the setting sun through the building to cast a half-drawn shadow, they walked side by side in the narrow aisle next to the palace, slow condensation.
Watermelon finally crossed her heart and reached out to hold the palm of Zhang Yuan's hand, who froze for a moment, then gripped it tightly and laughed, "The hand is so small."
Her hands have always been cold, but gradually warmed in his hands.
Has he always been waiting for her to reach out? But why was it always himself who was brave.
They also walked to Houhai and Nanluoguxiang on this day. The darker it gets, the more his emotions seem to rise, which may be an occupational disease of the media industry.
The last chapter of the far guilty of smoking, while the watermelon went to the restroom to pull out cigarettes lit, she saw in the doorway, he stood with his back to the light under the brick wall of the Nanluoguxiang, the back of a kind of stubborn loneliness. She didn't know what he was thinking, the man was too complex for her, like a meandering mystery that she occasionally thought she had seen through, and immediately realized it was just the tip of the iceberg. This mystery and sophistication yet also kept attracting Watermelon to him, making her adore him as much as she did.
It was late, they sat on the side of the road under the Drum Tower, he laughed at her stupidity, watermelon so even more stupid, they do not know what they are talking about, like a clown, clearly in the heart of the mirror, the words to the mouth but faltering and then be ruthlessly dismissed. Forget it, just like this, watermelon looked at the drum tower above the quiet night sky, looking at the bright traffic lights, looking at the corner of the bus, turned his head, he actually also looking at himself, eyes bright and unclear.
"What are you looking at?"
"You come over here and I'll tell you."
Watermelon smiled, she knew it was a trick and didn't pick up on it. She turned her head to look at the road as a girl in a dress sang loudly as she walked by, her figure long and clear in the streetlight.
"I was like that when I first came here." Something fluttered out of Watermelon's eyes a few times, misty and frustrated.
"...... It was fine like that."
"Why didn't you fall in love again after that?" Watermelon asked after a while.
"Do you have to fall in love? I'm fine the way I am now."
"So, what am I?"
He looked at her seriously and said softly, "You were an accident, and I didn't know it would happen."
10
This is a silent fireworks, only in the world of the two of them to release, eventually but annihilated in the night sky.
Watermelon realized that the barrier that had been blurred before was slowly becoming clearer. Zhang Yuan is a serious office worker, often working overtime to the energy value alarm, he did not have so much time to spare to her; and she is still a student, a few months later and will return to the green campus to live a temporary carefree life
She has experienced the love of the rose like a naked open bright, but his feelings have never been hidden in the bottom of the heart of the night blossom. "When you get used to living alone, you forget what it's like to care and be cared for." He always said so.
In Zhang Yuan's eyes, watermelon is a silly child, when she wants to tell him her story, he will deal with the reaction of "must be childish". He began to stand her up for work, seldom responded to her messages, and often fought with her. He thought she thought too much, she thought he was too short. There was less and less they could say to each other, and when they did, they often didn't get along.
Gradually, she would not tell her whole story as before. She also began to be cold, began to refuse, began to return to the old-fashioned style, but also with a tone full of disinterest to speak. Even if it's sad, it can't be helped, this person never cares about your story.
In retrospect, the two of them were probably never on the same beat. How can a girl who only likes to watch basketball and a boy who only likes to watch soccer revel in the same hour; how can a bustling 80s office worker and a quiet 90s student understand each other; how can a smiling girl and an indifferent boy meet each other?
Of course, all of these are to get along with a long time to find out, and by then the feelings have already been overrun.
She can not ask for too much, but not willing to do so, she practiced dare to love should hate should not be so.
He wanted a lot, but did not have the courage, afraid of no longer young and ambitious own failure can not afford.
Those moments that once made her feel romantic, perhaps two people longing for warmth happened to meet, giving each other a little illusory candlelight. Just like a dream. And that feeling of adoration gradually fell off the pedestal.
In this world, there is always someone first to experience, and then get a kind of props called "experience", and then the person despite the smart, will only be seen as the world of the small hair, only to worship the posture to the predecessors of the experience, think that those words are unbreakable truth.
But the little hairs will always grow up, but it's just a matter of time. After the watermelon calmed down, gradually and clearly saw the real Zhang Yuan. Her deliberate indifference, disdain, and challenge allowed herself to discover the inferiority and uneasy heart under his cold exterior.
Didn't someone say that everyone in this city has two souls, one for fighting with others during the day and one for whispering late at night? But watermelon feels that she can only have one soul, no matter the day and night, no matter to whom, she learns not to pretend to be flattering, and is not willing to laugh when she wants to cry, and face expressionless when she wants to laugh.
She began to dislike the company's eight-faceted him, do not like to despise him, do not like the surface of the play but the inner respect of the law of survival of the workplace. But what can be done if she doesn't like it, this is the rule of the game, her dislike is insignificant, she will only die in the game confrontation over and over again. What's more, maybe in the future she will also have two souls inexorably, one for toughness, one for self-pity.
So when Zhang Yuan coldly left watermelon alone, watermelon also finally know that this is a relationship that she will not be able to fix even if she is brave.
She skipped work and called Dou Xi Xi on her way home.
"Sing me a song, King of Karaoke, or She Came to My Concert, okay?"
This is the normal off-duty time for ordinary white-collar workers, the streets are crowded with people, and the street-side restaurants are full of grease and smoke, and on the phone comes the low, clear but slightly trembling singing voice of Dou XiXi:
"I thought that if I sang with all my heart, you'd always care more about me ...... "
She laughed so freely in the crowd that she nearly burst into tears.
In the evening, watermelon sent Zhang Yuan a sentence: "He walked every step with fear and trepidation and crisis, but he still went to the highest place."
After a while, the phone vibrated.
"Where are these words from?" He asked.
She was going to tell him that this was him as she saw him, not from any of the mindfucks. But typed it out and deleted it, and finally came back with, "Forgot."
"Thanks." He said.
She fell in love with him one night, then spent months agonizing, being brave, giving up, and forgetting. The good thing is, at the end of it all, she's finally able to be at peace with him, to understand him, to thank him, to wish him well, and then to turn away in style.
See you later.